Heat (consume me)
Title: Heat (consume me) part 2/2
Pairing: HanHae
Rating: PG-13
Summary: He deserved this.
Donghae jerked awake when a bird chirped beside his ear. He looked to see the feathery culprit perched on his window sill and glared at it as if it understood what it was for. He sat up and it flew away, Donghae squinted as he looked up into the white clouds. He sighed. For months, he’d been waking up to the afternoon sun. He suddenly realized it’d also been that long since he last contacted any of his friends.
A silver key by his bedside caught his eye. Donghae stiffened- he never puts his keys there. He grabbed the metal and made quick footwork into his living room. There was his key, hanging on the nail beside the main door. His fingers shook, and his legs suddenly felt weak. Donghae supported himself against the nearby wall feebly as he held the key to his lips. He collapsed onto the floor shaking his head as fresh tears spilled forth.
“No,” He breathed. “Han Geng-“ Donghae gathered his strength and forced his sanity to stay glued together. He changed into a pair of jeans and rushed to put on his shoes before grabbing both keys.
He’d never run that fast. He didnn’t even have any idea where all that stamina came from. He came up in front of a mini fountain situated at the heart of the large building that circled it. Donghae looked up at the majestic structure and felt the world spin slightly around him.
“Donghae?”
Said person snapped his head towards the familiar voice. He smiled widely, “Han Geng-“ All cheery mood was lost when he saw the disapproving look on the other’s face and the frown that never fit. The taller man was hugging a huge box in his arms and he walked up to Donghae. Frown still embracing his face, the corners of his mouth turned downwards.
Han Geng considered the other man for a long moment before he spoke again. “Let me send you home.” The immediate direction to his car stopped any protests that bubbled from within Donghae.
Donghae peeked at Han Geng from under his lashes throughout the ride home. He was afraid the other would be angry at him but the expression on his face told him a different story. In fact, he found it hard to read him with his eyes staring blankly ahead. He lowered his head. Han Geng was blocking him out, and he’d never done that before. Donghae used to read his every emotion inside out.
The car stopped at the front of his house and he made no move to get down. Donghae stared down at his linked hands. He’s scared because he knows Han Geng is leaving him for good. He’s moving from his office, giving his key back to him- there was nothing that told him the opposite even up to now when Han Geng just sat stiffly, waiting for him to leave his car.
Donghae worried his bottom lip. “Would you like to come in for coffee?” He kept his head lowered for fear his tears will escape upon seeing the other’s face. The shut of engine and a car door opening made Donghae fumble with his seatbelt. He got down and Han Geng was waiting for him.
***
They sat on the couch. Silence engulfing both men in an awkward cloud. Donghae sat straight and stiff, staring at the familiar empty space in front of him. Han Geng on the other hand, was sitting casually facing the smaller man with one leg on the couch, the other on the floor, stretched out. The long limb nearly touching Donghae’s right foot.
“You have something you want to talk to me about?” Han Geng said quietly, no longer tolerating the suffocating silence.
Donghae looked sideways, up into the taller man’s eyes. Those beautiful orbs that used to look back at him with so much love and hope, was staring back blankly. The same man he loves is still underneath that cold exterior that blocked him out, but he knows this man can never look at him the same way he did again. Donghae shook his head when his chin wobbled. He really doesn’t want Han Geng to leave him.
“You forgot your keys-“ Donghae blurt out honestly.
“I’m leaving, Hae.”
The smaller man pressed his lips into a thin line to stop his emotions from running rampant. Though eyes are becoming heavy with unshed tears, he smiled shakily. Nodding in resignation, “I get it.” He lowered his head for the nth time that day, fingers playing with each other. “We’re still friends right?”
“I’m going back to China.”
Donghae’s body reacted instantly, he jerked upwards to look at Han Geng with eyes wide as pancakes. That single statement answered all of his questions for the taller man. No, it’s not possible to be friends anymore, like how it first started between them. “Geng,” Donghae pleaded, his voice wobbly.
Han Geng looked at him, he shook his head-eyes as watery as the other man. “I can’t do this anymore, Donghae. I can’t look at you and not think about what you did.”
“I was drunk-“
“He’s my friend,” Han Geng’s silent tear escaped and rolled down his left cheek. “Heechul was my friend. You cheated on me with my best friend. I caught the two of you doing-it!” He swallowed a few times, keeping his emotions in check. “How do you think that feels?” He looked at the smaller man earnestly, really wondering how he’d have reacted.
“But I was drunk… a- and Heechul’s not around anymore.” Donghae stuttered, he was panicking- and if he wanted to turn things around, then it’s now. But judging from Han Geng’s reaction, he’d said the wrong thing again.
“I can’t believe you!” Han Geng gaped at the other man. “So you’re saying this isn’t your fault at all?”
“I,” Donghae looked downwards, not knowing what to say.
“I feel sorry for you, Hae. It’s been months…”
“I love you, Hannie.” The smaller man looked up again, hands gripping Han Geng’s own tightly in a bruising grip he didn’t know he possessed.
“I know,” Bigger hands squeezed back once in acknowledgement. “-but you lied, you betrayed my love, you broke our trust, Heechul’s never coming back… there’s nothing left for me here.” Han Geng used his thumbs to stroke the delicate skin holding on to him. “I love you, Hae. I always do, and I don’t want to leave without you knowing that. But I also want you to know that I can’t do this anymore, because I’m not as good as you thought me to be... I can’t forgive you.”
Donghae smiled back weakly when Han Geng cupped his face. His own tears brushed away by calloused thumbs. He closed his eyes and leaned into the gentle caress. He knows nothing he says will change the other man’s mind now. He’d done enough, he’d erred, and there is no one else to take this blame except him.
The thunder rolled above the roof, dark clouds spoke his language and the rain outside began pouring heavily. Donghae shuddered. “Stay,” He said softly with a gentle push in the words, demanding selfishly for the last time the other man to keep him company. “I’m scared.” He added when Han Geng opened his mouth to protest.
Without waiting for another second, Donghae brought both his legs onto the couch and forced Han Geng backwards so that he was lying against the armrest. He then plopped onto the taller man’s chest, not caring if he crushed him, and they lay huddled together. Silence filled the house again- Han Geng stared up into the white of the ceiling and listened as the rain beat down onto the windowpanes.
Donghae wrapped both his arms around Han Geng’s waist. He listened to his beating heart, the vibrations of the air moving in and out of his lungs, his head moving together with the rise and fall as the other man took each breath. He sighed contentedly. When one loses something, you’d feel bliss even if it’s just touching that thing for one last time. He snuggled closer, face buried deeply into Han Geng’s neck, nuzzling his lips against the smooth skin, Donghae smiled when a shudder went through the other man.
Then he felt hands slowly, hesitantly travelled up his back. One of them cradled his head- the other hugged his smaller frame at the small of his back. Donghae’s heart raced when long fingers peeked into the waistband of his jeans and caressed the bare skin. He was shocked when he felt himself hardening at the innocent touch. Embarrassed, he turned his head a little to hide the blush burning intensely at his cheeks. His arms tightened around the other’s slim waist as he willed his body to obey him.
“Donghae,” Han Geng’s voice was gruff against his ear. Hot breaths fanned the sensitive arch and sent shivers down his spine. Loosening his grip, he propped himself with hands on either side of Han Geng’s head to look down at him.
“Kiss me,” The taller man breathed. “One last-“
Han Geng didn’t have to finish what he wanted to say for Donghae to more than willingly comply. The smaller man cupped the other’s face and pressed his lips firmly onto his. Moving gently up his face, Donghae weaved his fingers into Han Geng’s hair, pulling gently on it and tipping the head back. He deepened the kiss, tongue seeking tongue, rubbing and teasing. The taller man growled when he felt his groin tightened.
Han Geng’s hands sought the skin underneath Donghae’s shirt-so hot, it was choking him. He ran his palms smoothly over his back and to the sides. And when the smaller man started to move his hips, pressing his pelvis into Han Geng’s, deepening the kiss even more- it was all the other man could take to not forget everything and start all over with him again. He gripped Donghae’s hips and came up for air. “We-we need to stop now.” Han Geng panted.
He ignored the disappointment in Donghae’s eyes and removed his hands from under his shirt. Hugging his arm around the other man, Han Geng brought the smaller man against his chest. He closed his eyes tightly and held back a moan when he felt wet heat clamped down hard at the base of his neck. “Hae,” He warned.
“I love you.” Donghae whispered against the abused flesh, swirling his tongue on the skin to soothe the throbbing flesh. He nuzzled his mark on Han Geng and dreaded the feeling of never seeing the other man again. A choked sob break away from his control and he turned his face into the man’s shoulder. Feeling hands soothe his back, and a soft accented voice that he loved so much whispering by his ear, Donghae tried to relax in Han Geng’s arms. He laid his hand right above the heart, feeling Han Geng’s life beat against his hand.
Thunder clapped loudly outside the warm haven of the house, but Donghae didn’t even flinch this time. Han Geng is here with him. He smiled, fatigue suddenly claiming him. The hand at his back was now combing through his hair in leisured strokes. Donghae gave a contented sigh before he let the dream weavers lure him away.
***
It was dawn and Donghae woke without anything alerting him. He smiled when he saw someone had covered him with his comforter. He stretched before sitting up. His body ached from lying on the small couch all night. He looked around, and for the first time, the stillness wasn’t disturbing to him at all. The soft orange glow that painted the wooden flooring of his house entranced him, and he let it lead him towards the window.
It was sunrise.
The gentle breeze caressed his cheeks and danced with his messy hair. Donghae looked out into the city. Has he ever thought it beautiful in all the years that he’d been living here? Morning birds flew past in flocks, chirping in a charming harmony, celebrating the break of a new day.
His eyes tracked the movement of the rising sun. Goodbye Han Geng.
END--
A/N: *exhale forcefully* There, this was pretty hard to write. =P
Pairing: HanHae
Rating: PG-13
Summary: He deserved this.
Donghae jerked awake when a bird chirped beside his ear. He looked to see the feathery culprit perched on his window sill and glared at it as if it understood what it was for. He sat up and it flew away, Donghae squinted as he looked up into the white clouds. He sighed. For months, he’d been waking up to the afternoon sun. He suddenly realized it’d also been that long since he last contacted any of his friends.
A silver key by his bedside caught his eye. Donghae stiffened- he never puts his keys there. He grabbed the metal and made quick footwork into his living room. There was his key, hanging on the nail beside the main door. His fingers shook, and his legs suddenly felt weak. Donghae supported himself against the nearby wall feebly as he held the key to his lips. He collapsed onto the floor shaking his head as fresh tears spilled forth.
“No,” He breathed. “Han Geng-“ Donghae gathered his strength and forced his sanity to stay glued together. He changed into a pair of jeans and rushed to put on his shoes before grabbing both keys.
He’d never run that fast. He didnn’t even have any idea where all that stamina came from. He came up in front of a mini fountain situated at the heart of the large building that circled it. Donghae looked up at the majestic structure and felt the world spin slightly around him.
“Donghae?”
Said person snapped his head towards the familiar voice. He smiled widely, “Han Geng-“ All cheery mood was lost when he saw the disapproving look on the other’s face and the frown that never fit. The taller man was hugging a huge box in his arms and he walked up to Donghae. Frown still embracing his face, the corners of his mouth turned downwards.
Han Geng considered the other man for a long moment before he spoke again. “Let me send you home.” The immediate direction to his car stopped any protests that bubbled from within Donghae.
Donghae peeked at Han Geng from under his lashes throughout the ride home. He was afraid the other would be angry at him but the expression on his face told him a different story. In fact, he found it hard to read him with his eyes staring blankly ahead. He lowered his head. Han Geng was blocking him out, and he’d never done that before. Donghae used to read his every emotion inside out.
The car stopped at the front of his house and he made no move to get down. Donghae stared down at his linked hands. He’s scared because he knows Han Geng is leaving him for good. He’s moving from his office, giving his key back to him- there was nothing that told him the opposite even up to now when Han Geng just sat stiffly, waiting for him to leave his car.
Donghae worried his bottom lip. “Would you like to come in for coffee?” He kept his head lowered for fear his tears will escape upon seeing the other’s face. The shut of engine and a car door opening made Donghae fumble with his seatbelt. He got down and Han Geng was waiting for him.
***
They sat on the couch. Silence engulfing both men in an awkward cloud. Donghae sat straight and stiff, staring at the familiar empty space in front of him. Han Geng on the other hand, was sitting casually facing the smaller man with one leg on the couch, the other on the floor, stretched out. The long limb nearly touching Donghae’s right foot.
“You have something you want to talk to me about?” Han Geng said quietly, no longer tolerating the suffocating silence.
Donghae looked sideways, up into the taller man’s eyes. Those beautiful orbs that used to look back at him with so much love and hope, was staring back blankly. The same man he loves is still underneath that cold exterior that blocked him out, but he knows this man can never look at him the same way he did again. Donghae shook his head when his chin wobbled. He really doesn’t want Han Geng to leave him.
“You forgot your keys-“ Donghae blurt out honestly.
“I’m leaving, Hae.”
The smaller man pressed his lips into a thin line to stop his emotions from running rampant. Though eyes are becoming heavy with unshed tears, he smiled shakily. Nodding in resignation, “I get it.” He lowered his head for the nth time that day, fingers playing with each other. “We’re still friends right?”
“I’m going back to China.”
Donghae’s body reacted instantly, he jerked upwards to look at Han Geng with eyes wide as pancakes. That single statement answered all of his questions for the taller man. No, it’s not possible to be friends anymore, like how it first started between them. “Geng,” Donghae pleaded, his voice wobbly.
Han Geng looked at him, he shook his head-eyes as watery as the other man. “I can’t do this anymore, Donghae. I can’t look at you and not think about what you did.”
“I was drunk-“
“He’s my friend,” Han Geng’s silent tear escaped and rolled down his left cheek. “Heechul was my friend. You cheated on me with my best friend. I caught the two of you doing-it!” He swallowed a few times, keeping his emotions in check. “How do you think that feels?” He looked at the smaller man earnestly, really wondering how he’d have reacted.
“But I was drunk… a- and Heechul’s not around anymore.” Donghae stuttered, he was panicking- and if he wanted to turn things around, then it’s now. But judging from Han Geng’s reaction, he’d said the wrong thing again.
“I can’t believe you!” Han Geng gaped at the other man. “So you’re saying this isn’t your fault at all?”
“I,” Donghae looked downwards, not knowing what to say.
“I feel sorry for you, Hae. It’s been months…”
“I love you, Hannie.” The smaller man looked up again, hands gripping Han Geng’s own tightly in a bruising grip he didn’t know he possessed.
“I know,” Bigger hands squeezed back once in acknowledgement. “-but you lied, you betrayed my love, you broke our trust, Heechul’s never coming back… there’s nothing left for me here.” Han Geng used his thumbs to stroke the delicate skin holding on to him. “I love you, Hae. I always do, and I don’t want to leave without you knowing that. But I also want you to know that I can’t do this anymore, because I’m not as good as you thought me to be... I can’t forgive you.”
Donghae smiled back weakly when Han Geng cupped his face. His own tears brushed away by calloused thumbs. He closed his eyes and leaned into the gentle caress. He knows nothing he says will change the other man’s mind now. He’d done enough, he’d erred, and there is no one else to take this blame except him.
The thunder rolled above the roof, dark clouds spoke his language and the rain outside began pouring heavily. Donghae shuddered. “Stay,” He said softly with a gentle push in the words, demanding selfishly for the last time the other man to keep him company. “I’m scared.” He added when Han Geng opened his mouth to protest.
Without waiting for another second, Donghae brought both his legs onto the couch and forced Han Geng backwards so that he was lying against the armrest. He then plopped onto the taller man’s chest, not caring if he crushed him, and they lay huddled together. Silence filled the house again- Han Geng stared up into the white of the ceiling and listened as the rain beat down onto the windowpanes.
Donghae wrapped both his arms around Han Geng’s waist. He listened to his beating heart, the vibrations of the air moving in and out of his lungs, his head moving together with the rise and fall as the other man took each breath. He sighed contentedly. When one loses something, you’d feel bliss even if it’s just touching that thing for one last time. He snuggled closer, face buried deeply into Han Geng’s neck, nuzzling his lips against the smooth skin, Donghae smiled when a shudder went through the other man.
Then he felt hands slowly, hesitantly travelled up his back. One of them cradled his head- the other hugged his smaller frame at the small of his back. Donghae’s heart raced when long fingers peeked into the waistband of his jeans and caressed the bare skin. He was shocked when he felt himself hardening at the innocent touch. Embarrassed, he turned his head a little to hide the blush burning intensely at his cheeks. His arms tightened around the other’s slim waist as he willed his body to obey him.
“Donghae,” Han Geng’s voice was gruff against his ear. Hot breaths fanned the sensitive arch and sent shivers down his spine. Loosening his grip, he propped himself with hands on either side of Han Geng’s head to look down at him.
“Kiss me,” The taller man breathed. “One last-“
Han Geng didn’t have to finish what he wanted to say for Donghae to more than willingly comply. The smaller man cupped the other’s face and pressed his lips firmly onto his. Moving gently up his face, Donghae weaved his fingers into Han Geng’s hair, pulling gently on it and tipping the head back. He deepened the kiss, tongue seeking tongue, rubbing and teasing. The taller man growled when he felt his groin tightened.
Han Geng’s hands sought the skin underneath Donghae’s shirt-so hot, it was choking him. He ran his palms smoothly over his back and to the sides. And when the smaller man started to move his hips, pressing his pelvis into Han Geng’s, deepening the kiss even more- it was all the other man could take to not forget everything and start all over with him again. He gripped Donghae’s hips and came up for air. “We-we need to stop now.” Han Geng panted.
He ignored the disappointment in Donghae’s eyes and removed his hands from under his shirt. Hugging his arm around the other man, Han Geng brought the smaller man against his chest. He closed his eyes tightly and held back a moan when he felt wet heat clamped down hard at the base of his neck. “Hae,” He warned.
“I love you.” Donghae whispered against the abused flesh, swirling his tongue on the skin to soothe the throbbing flesh. He nuzzled his mark on Han Geng and dreaded the feeling of never seeing the other man again. A choked sob break away from his control and he turned his face into the man’s shoulder. Feeling hands soothe his back, and a soft accented voice that he loved so much whispering by his ear, Donghae tried to relax in Han Geng’s arms. He laid his hand right above the heart, feeling Han Geng’s life beat against his hand.
Thunder clapped loudly outside the warm haven of the house, but Donghae didn’t even flinch this time. Han Geng is here with him. He smiled, fatigue suddenly claiming him. The hand at his back was now combing through his hair in leisured strokes. Donghae gave a contented sigh before he let the dream weavers lure him away.
***
It was dawn and Donghae woke without anything alerting him. He smiled when he saw someone had covered him with his comforter. He stretched before sitting up. His body ached from lying on the small couch all night. He looked around, and for the first time, the stillness wasn’t disturbing to him at all. The soft orange glow that painted the wooden flooring of his house entranced him, and he let it lead him towards the window.
It was sunrise.
The gentle breeze caressed his cheeks and danced with his messy hair. Donghae looked out into the city. Has he ever thought it beautiful in all the years that he’d been living here? Morning birds flew past in flocks, chirping in a charming harmony, celebrating the break of a new day.
His eyes tracked the movement of the rising sun. Goodbye Han Geng.
END--
A/N: *exhale forcefully* There, this was pretty hard to write. =P