Forever
Title: Forever
Pairing: HanHae
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance, angst
Summary: Forever never exists...
Hangeng does not believe. No, because nothing lasts forever. Nothing could promise forever. Ever since a young child, he was taught that simple logic. He used to believe. But that was when he was still clinging on to his old, warm, cuddly pillow. The one he couldn’t sleep without, move around without. The one his mother would always want to throw away in disgust and he would have it hidden deep into the corners of the house where no one could ever find it. No one except him.
It was when things took a turn. A big sharp turn.
“You’re just saying this because he isn’t yours!”
“So what if I am? You and I both know very well he isn’t mine. You’re just a whore I picked up from the street.”
“You bastard!”
That ear deafening shriek that was his mother’s still rung in his ear even as he woke up in cold sweat every now and then from his nightmare. His eardrums pulsate from the effect as if it was real. That tugging pull at his heart as it throbbed with pain. That distant memory ghosted past in his mind no matter how much he wanted to forget. It was useless because all he could think of is the unfeeling look both his parents gave him as they abandoned him at the front of the orphanage.
“Please take me back. I’ll throw my pillow away, I promise. Please take me back-“
The rain beat down on his petite body and he had pleaded. Tears washing his face, hands clutching desperately at their clothing even as they ruthlessly brushed him away, both knees badly scraped as he kneeled there begging them to take him back. No matter how much he begged, how hoarse he had made his throat from crying, it still wasn’t enough for them to change their mind.
Young little Hangeng was found deeply asleep in his tightly curled up position near the steps leading to the main gate by the sisters of the orphanage. He ran high for several days before everything went back to normal. When his fever subsided, that was when he shut himself off of all people, of emotions, of everything. Unwilling to feel, to understand any intentions, be it good or bad… to love again. Like the way the beloved sisters found him, he went into a deep slumber. A deep deep slumber without a care for what ever that happened around him.
It wasn’t until that little sunshine that pierced through his darkness, did he finally wake from his inner slumber.
“Hi, my name is Lee Donghae. You can just call me Hae if you want to.”
“I don’t want to.”
That was what the initial reply was and the younger boy had pouted at that.
Hangeng learnt not long after the reason behind Donghae’s appearance at the orphanage. He had lost both his parents to a fatal accident. All of which got Hangeng thinking because he wasn’t so sure if being abandoned by one’s own parents is worse than losing both parents at the same time anymore.
Donghae is always smiling. Hangeng found out this amusing fact about the boy one day when he was looking out from his window at the kids playing downstairs in the wide open field. What made him even more amused was the fact that he actually looked forward to seeing the two eyes narrowing into slits as those full soft lips turn upward into a beaming smile.
Looking on as Donghae tripped and rolled on the lush green of the field laughing with his friends, lips twitched and Hangeng found himself smiling, ever so softly at the pure innocence that glowed from the younger boy.
It hurts, but Hangeng knows it’s a different kind of hurt. It was a hurt that started from his unused lips spreading all the way to his very core being. A hurt that felt good, that seemed to burst and shower him with a whole new sensation he had never felt before.
And he was frightened for just a little tiny moment what this little sunshine could do to him.
“Hangeng?”
“…”
“Are-are you all right?”
Hangeng felt warm hands clutching at his shoulders, shaking him slightly. Feeling relief instantly at the contact, an anchor that held him firm and secure, he uncurled from his fetal position and turned into the welcoming arms. Sobbing and trembling, not caring about the vulnerability he was showing as waves of fear crashed over him.
There was a moment of silence before words rolled off the other’s tongue and drifted to his ears like an enchanted melody.
“It’s all right now.”
It was unsure yet strangely firm and comforting. The zigzag of purple light that disfigured the darkness and loud claps of thunder that rolled mercilessly into the night had Hangeng cringing and clinging on even more tightly onto the shoulders whose arms were linked to the small of his back. Stroking back and forth soothingly, “It’s all right, I’ve got you.”
That voice…
Hangeng was sure he’d heard that somewhere before.
Years go by and young boys stretch into adolescence. Hangeng was surprised how much he’d changed over the years. He no longer needs his pillow to sleep. The thunderstorm no longer scared him. He’d learned how to feel again. And most importantly, he’d learned how to love once again… He was no longer the cold, hostile, aloof person the sisters thought he all along was.
His eyes squinted a little as the wind danced around him. He looked out into the vast opening of the majestic waves and enjoyed the ample view Mother Nature provided him. The sound of waves hitting the shore was a soft hypnotic tune. Taking in a deep breath, he held on to it for a while as the sweetness penetrated his every tissue. Shutting his eyes as he enjoyed the peace and releasing his breath on a slow contented one.
Hangeng found himself smiling and opened his eyes again as slender arms wrapped lovingly around him. He felt lips touch the top of his head. The man behind him pulled him so that Hangeng was leaning against the chest that was all too familiar. Warm and content.
“What are you thinking?”
“Just… stuff.” Hangeng looked upwards at the smiling eyes. He reached up and the other leaned forward, lips meeting each other in a soft kiss. So much was conveyed through that tiny connection and both knew, that words meant little at the moment.
Only then was it understood that forever does exist.
I love you, Hae.
END--
A/N: Yes, I'm still on hiatus, so this is just a little piece I've managed to squeeze out with the little time I have. I hope it's not too crappy.
I MISS HANHAE~~ ^^