(no subject)
i wrote this on tuesday night...i'm now committing it to the internet...
sitting in a meeting of the organizing committee in the board room of the union office. i'm thinking about all the things that have happened in this room over the last year and a half i've worked here. workers have always trickled in and out. the nurses have their e-board meetings - the faculty and their fact finding sessions - building solidarity and joint campaigns. and then there's bargaining out staff union contract - countless debriefs and arguments with bullshit union bosses. how can i sit in a room time and time again that's filled with loud angry voices of contradiction?
did i mention the nat rep (my boss) has now talked non stop at this group of workers for nearly 20 min without any sign of letting up? i really love organizing democratic unions.
it seems like this is all i talk about in my journal but its a little different this time...
the past couple of months my job has been really tough. and yeah whatever - all work is tough. no job is easy and i've had lots of ups and downs with my emotions and motivations (as you dedicated readers know). but now, its about my job - its about my role in this as a worker. and as a worker, things have been really tough.
you know, i never thought i would "get it." i never thought i'd understand what its like to be a worker during my tenure as a union organizer. i was here to empathize and help facilitate the organizing of oppressed workers but i never wanted to identify with it. i never wanted to compare my boss with a "real" boss...i never wanted to think that i work for yet another bureaucracy. but i think that might be the case...
my job security is continually threatened by my boss. i keep on hearing the "settle down or we're shipping the shop to mexico" routine. although with us, they get to threaten down shutting down the campaign if we don't get a "better attitude." let me also add that we have not taken a SINGLE job action but have only expressed certain concerns with our job duties and workload in conversations.
our union contract is continually violated and disregarded. our identities as a trade unionists is being completely disrespected.
my co-workers are being separated and intimidated in a very calculated and manipulative way.
the power or the boss and the constant need to assert this is obvious. yes, i know you are the boss. yes, i know you have power. thanks.
so then...what the hell am i supposed to do with that??? how is that sustainable?
i don't think it is. its not about my other issues from the past - finding my way in a "professional" union and trying to have conversations with workers who have such classist attitudes. eventhough that all sucked - my issues now, i think, are way worse.
it hurts enough to see my work become a job - it hurts even more to think this job has become very unhealthy, unsafe and completely unsustainable in my life.
so i don't know what to do. i don't even have faith in the entire labor movement right now. if i'm an organizer someplace else, will it end up just like this?
maybe i need a career change
but what the hell else could i do??? the only thing on my post college resume is union work - that's 2 years. why would any employer want to hire somebody without experience beyond "rabble rousing?"
or is it worth it to stick it out? grin and bear it for the "movement" or is the movement just wrong? and if its wrong, how do i change it? is all this struggle for a reason?
so the bottom line is that i'm scared, i don't know what to do and i feel very helpless and lost.
and did i mention...that's only my "professional" hardship....
sitting in a meeting of the organizing committee in the board room of the union office. i'm thinking about all the things that have happened in this room over the last year and a half i've worked here. workers have always trickled in and out. the nurses have their e-board meetings - the faculty and their fact finding sessions - building solidarity and joint campaigns. and then there's bargaining out staff union contract - countless debriefs and arguments with bullshit union bosses. how can i sit in a room time and time again that's filled with loud angry voices of contradiction?
did i mention the nat rep (my boss) has now talked non stop at this group of workers for nearly 20 min without any sign of letting up? i really love organizing democratic unions.
it seems like this is all i talk about in my journal but its a little different this time...
the past couple of months my job has been really tough. and yeah whatever - all work is tough. no job is easy and i've had lots of ups and downs with my emotions and motivations (as you dedicated readers know). but now, its about my job - its about my role in this as a worker. and as a worker, things have been really tough.
you know, i never thought i would "get it." i never thought i'd understand what its like to be a worker during my tenure as a union organizer. i was here to empathize and help facilitate the organizing of oppressed workers but i never wanted to identify with it. i never wanted to compare my boss with a "real" boss...i never wanted to think that i work for yet another bureaucracy. but i think that might be the case...
my job security is continually threatened by my boss. i keep on hearing the "settle down or we're shipping the shop to mexico" routine. although with us, they get to threaten down shutting down the campaign if we don't get a "better attitude." let me also add that we have not taken a SINGLE job action but have only expressed certain concerns with our job duties and workload in conversations.
our union contract is continually violated and disregarded. our identities as a trade unionists is being completely disrespected.
my co-workers are being separated and intimidated in a very calculated and manipulative way.
the power or the boss and the constant need to assert this is obvious. yes, i know you are the boss. yes, i know you have power. thanks.
so then...what the hell am i supposed to do with that??? how is that sustainable?
i don't think it is. its not about my other issues from the past - finding my way in a "professional" union and trying to have conversations with workers who have such classist attitudes. eventhough that all sucked - my issues now, i think, are way worse.
it hurts enough to see my work become a job - it hurts even more to think this job has become very unhealthy, unsafe and completely unsustainable in my life.
so i don't know what to do. i don't even have faith in the entire labor movement right now. if i'm an organizer someplace else, will it end up just like this?
maybe i need a career change
but what the hell else could i do??? the only thing on my post college resume is union work - that's 2 years. why would any employer want to hire somebody without experience beyond "rabble rousing?"
or is it worth it to stick it out? grin and bear it for the "movement" or is the movement just wrong? and if its wrong, how do i change it? is all this struggle for a reason?
so the bottom line is that i'm scared, i don't know what to do and i feel very helpless and lost.
and did i mention...that's only my "professional" hardship....