I4NI

Jul 12, 2004 16:20

what is this thing called hope?
and why does it keep bothering me?
i swear though, with out it id a been done a loong time ago...
with all these things that happen, and everything...everything that seems...or is out of reach, and here i still am, grasping this little word called hope. this little feeling, little tourment.

what a thing, this hope. a device, a reason, i dont even know. i just know i sit and wonder why everything that does, happens to me and all these things and people that i no longer have and i feel like i lost more than i gained, but it just tells me to look around the corner, cause it might all come back, just one more corner. but i get there and nother more is there, most of the time i loose more i think. but i make it to the next one, cause maybe thats where everything becomes better, and i think sometimes im just running around one building and turning the same corners over and over again and again; and i just want to tell her she is beautiful, but she never wakes up with me.; i just want to buy that car in that lot, but the numbers never match,; i just want to speak, but they are never listening,; i just want to wave, but they quit looking,; i just want to leave, but i only know what im looking for not where it is,; i just want to not hope anymore, but it keeps poking at me,; i just want to try everything over again, too smell those incents, to sing that song, to see that sunset, to talk to those friends, to pet that puppy, to drink that juice box after my soccer game, to hug them before we ever faught, to sleep in that old room, ro run and climb that tree before i ever knew what an atom bomb was and before i ever needed money for gas, before i had to look nice, and before i had to her about her doing drugs, and her becoming a whore, and she became stupid and she became a gangster, and he killed all his smarts, and i never stoped any of them and i never called the phone but just waited for it to ring, and thats why i constantly think i could have stoped it and i could have saved them, but when you say it wasnt my fault, but i never tried. *make it right if i kissed you one more time....but now your fare too poisen for me."
sleep.sleep.sleep. ... ... ...
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