brain anyrisms
my job is literally making me loose my mind. not so much the workload like it was before but just all of the drama. all of the backstabbing, the snarky attitudes, the structure, the unneccesary change, the misplaced attitudes. i am really, really hovering on that border where i want to look for a new job. there is nothing keeping me here. there is nothing really to loose here but my sanity.
and it is happening to everyone. everyone has been walking this fine line of central implosion. the weekends cant come fast enough and i seem to speedwalk through the blissful 48 hours of peace and quiet spent canoodling with the sweetheart and enjoying the face that i am anywhere but that hell hole we call work.
it never used to be like this. its all too much and its making me loose my mind. its making me sick both body and mind. if youve been following this throughout the years you'll realize i dont react well to stress. 24 year olds should not have two hospital stays and a few major illnesses. i'm scared ill get shingles again. can you get it again? i dont want to know - nearly worst experience ever.
the person who got me this job didnt want me to take it because she knew it would fuck up my rationale. unfortunetly she was right.
to do asap:
-head doctor
-physical
-nutritionist
i dont want to get sick again.