(no subject)

[sum1sdreamgirl]

terrible day, math took 3 freaking hours today, so mom gave me the day off school today.i have some time before jv to get my head straight again. i went to impact, well sorta. i went but i slipped out of the room and sat in the hall for about 2/3 of it. i couldnt be there for worship. im not going to stand and mock god by singing empty words. i was way too distracted by my own thoughts and that evil girl sitting up front giving me snobby looks of triumph. grow up, you got him already. you win, i lose. as usual. i sat in the outside hall blankly staring at the tv screen and thinkingabout my own problems. then i met Rachael Beaudin, an answer to my nonexistent prayers. shes a pretty short impact leader, so we can relate on alot of things. we talked and she shared some scripture with me and told me about how shes was going through almost every one of my problems at my age also. ill probably end up going down the same road she did, despite her warnings. i need to learn this lesson for myself.
once again all the good thoughts that i had built up for myself over the week were torn down by the influence at impact. that place probably isnt good for me, oh well. i cant stop going cuz its all i got.
im sorry that ive been so emotional lately. i just need an emotional teddy bear. oh ye, i got rachael beaudin's cell number so i can call her when i need to. shes moving back to idaho for a while, but ill see her again next year or something like that. i didnt mean to blow off the other rachael, but i did. you said youde call today joel to see what was up cuz i kinda left you in the dark. but im gonna be gone for the time dad's not home. im in a talking kind of mood so like call friday or something.

leave a comment, cuz i say so.