i swear...: sum1_special115

sum1_special115

i swear...

Jul 26, 2004 00:10

hmm...well, today i decided I'd update..no particular reason...just was bored, and i have to get up early, but that obviously doesnt matter to me since im still awake. I'm sitting here on the computer, bored. I dont know what's going on anymore. I feel like my problems are at my finger tips, and at any moment they may either become lost or worsen. I wish they'd all just go away. Everything is so stressful right now, and i wish everyone knew the reasons. I wish everyone knew just so people would quit asking. I wish i could tell you guys everything. But all i can say, is help me...ive fallen...and may never get back up. I feel so just, tired. I'm tired of worrying about all my problems on top of everyone else's shit. I LOVE listening to people talk about their problems, but lately, i feel like, something horrible is going to happen, and its going to ruin me forever. I dont know, im just, lost! I wish i could take a year off school and breathe, and not worry about things. Augh, i want so badly to have a car, so i can leave my shit behind me. Right now, the person who was apart of me for almost 9 months, has i believe, quit talking to me. I dont know if it's on purpose, but he and I dont talk anymore. I miss him, cuz for almost 9 months, he was the closest thing to me, and now i wish it hadnt happened, knowing everything for him turned out to be a lie, or....a burden. I wish i knew what was going on inside his head, because he certainly doesnt know. Oh well, i need sleep, cuz im tired of worrying about things. In my dreams is the only place im truly happy. I love my friends, the true ones, who NO MATTER WHAT, will always be there for me. I went to church today, first time since Christmas. It felt so good, because I've just realized how unbelievably selfish, and carefree i've been, and that's not at all what I should be. I shouldnt be stressed, but carefree is worse! I dont know, for those people who say they are my friends, i love you guys...i'll always love you guys! :) I dont know about ANYTHING anymore...augh, im so lost! Call me cuz staying on the computer has only made me worse!

<33 To my lovers! <33

....this is for that special someone.....

*I thought my life was ending, but you made me believe...*

made me believe i was beautiful

made me believe i was unique

made me believe i was flawless

made me believe i was smart

made me believe i was perfect

*little did i know.....you lie*

{Do You Miss Me?}