SR drabble series
Title: Untouched
Hutch POV
“You were lucky”, they tell me. “Untouched when Starsky was hit”.
Untouched? Here we were, finally reconciled after a rocky year, when all we did was hurt each other, barely speaking. Fractured. Then he’s gunned down right in front of me. Him lying next to his car is a vision I will never get out of my head.
He’s lying here, machines breathing for him, life-giving fluids flowing through drips and feeding tubes, while I wonder if we will ever speak again.
If I reach for him, will he break?
Untouched by bullets, yes; but I was certainly not untouched.
Title: Awake
Starsky POV
Starsky woke slowly, like clawing his way up through quicksand. Gentle voices became louder; darkness became light.
He was surrounded by people, machines, and lots of white. A hospital bed? A man in a white coat - doctor, nurses, and faces he recognised. Well, almost. Not quite. That funny blond guy from before must have brought them. He was there too.
They smiled, and he smiled back - like a child might. Mimicking, not really of his own volition.
They were talking - to him and each other. He didn’t understand a word.
Frightened now, he sought familiar blue eyes, and whispered “Ma?”
Title: Another Day
“Can you tell me your name?” the doctor asked gently, as he continued checking Starsky’s reflexes.
A furrowed brow was the response. Hutch placed a hand on his friend’s leg, and pleaded, “C’mon buddy - you remember”.
The doctor glared at him. “No prompting! He must remember on his own.”
The brow furrowed deeper, before a satisfied grin and a croaky “Buddy?” escaped the parched lips.
A few chuckles from the medical staff, and a wry grin from Hutch, who again earned the wrath of the doctor with “No buddy, Buddy’s not your name, it’s your nickname”.
Light dawned. “I’m Nick?”
Frustrated, Hutch sighed and turned away. “This is going to take all bloody day”
“Day”. Starsky’s face crinkled even further, as he tried to pull something out of his memory. Day sounded familiar. Day had a ring to it. Day - it had something to do with Day. “Day?” he asked.
Believing his friend was close to a revelation, Hutch turned back and leaned in. “That’s it, buddy - keep going. Da… what?”
Starsky locked eyes with the blond, proudly exclaiming “Knight ‘n’ Day!”
Hutch laughed with both relief and sadness, before another pat on the leg. “We’ll try another day, buddy”.
Title: One Step Back
Hutch was frustrated. “But I don’t understand, doctor. Yesterday he was talking, and today, nothing! What’s going on here?”
“Keep trying to engage him, Ken. He’s in shock. The more we exercise his mind, the stronger he’ll become”
Starsky’s eyes had followed the two as they jostled for position, but still he barely made sense of it all.
“Squeeze my hand, buddy. Put some backbone into it” he half joked.
Starsky’s hand twitched, eye contact was made, and Hutch knew. Starsky was trying - he really was.
Hutch grinned sappily. “Hey!”
“Two steps forward, Ken…”
“Yeah, I know. And one back”.
Title: Touch
Starsky POV
I need to be touched. Well, lots of people are touching me. But theirs isn’t what I need.
Not the touch of the doctors or nurses as they roll me over, shoot me up, and change my bandages.
Not the “you’re looking fine, man” touch.
Not the touch of a lover. Little Davey’s asleep anyways.
Not the tender touch of a momma, holding herself back to protect her wounded son.
I need the touch of my brother. The touch I’ve missed this past year. But he thinks I’ll break if he touches me. I won’t, I promise. Just… touch me.
Title: Touché
Starsky was lying on his side when I entered his room, some contraption holding the sheets off him.
“What’s with the tent?”
“I got a bed sore on my too-she”
“On your what? Oh, on your tush!”
“That’s what I said!” His smirk was so generous; I wondered when I’d stopped seeing it. Or had he stopped giving it?
He winked. I knew I’d been had. Overcome with an affection I hadn’t felt in a long, long time, I smiled in acknowledgment of the game, and rubbed his forearm. The smirk turned into something warmer; something I had missed.
“Touché”
Title: Firsts
Starsky POV
My first memory of waking was seeing Ma and a bunch of other people all around my bed. Later I realised who the rest were.
My first solid meal was green jello. It didn’t last long.
The first time they raised my bed, I passed out.
The first time I sat up by myself, Hutch caught me from tipping off the bed.
Today I took my first steps since the shooting. First one foot, then the other. Just three steps - but enough to finally feel human again.
Today I have hope for recovery, for the first time in weeks.
Title: Listen
Hutch POV
“Because I told you to get down, you moron! You just don’t listen!” I shouted.
“What?”
Damn.
My heart broke. What had I said? I had to turn away from his confusion, and Huggy’s eyes boring holes through me. We weren’t supposed to prompt his memory - but he was really pissing me off with his guilt trip. Or maybe it’s my guilt trip, and he just knew which buttons to push.
“What do you mean? Hutch?”
I can’t.
“Huggy?”
Poor Hug, caught in the crossfire, chews the insides of his lips. “Back at ya, Blondie - you should listen to yourself!”
Title: Watch
Hutch POV
The leather in Huggy’s Caddy creaked as I shifted with discomfort. Seeing him wheel Starsky into the garden was distressing enough; knowing it should have been me pushing that chair, doubled my unease.
They began their talk. I knew Huggy was angry with me; Starsky confused. Their animated hands told the thousand words I couldn’t find.
As Starsky bowed his head in understanding, Huggy glanced my way, shook his head, and covered light hands with dark. They turned away, back to the sanctuary of the Centre.
I should have given him this peace; but all I could do was watch.
Title: Watch (M&T100 Scream version)
Hutch POV
The leather in Huggy’s Caddy creaked as I shifted with discomfort. Seeing him wheel Starsky into the garden was distressing enough; knowing it should have been me pushing that chair, doubled my unease.
They began their talk. I knew Huggy was angry with me; Starsky confused. Their animated hands told the thousand words I couldn’t find.
As Starsky bowed his head in understanding, Huggy glanced my way, shook his head, and covered light hands with dark. They turned away, back to the sanctuary of the Centre.
I wanted to scream, kick and run; but all I could do was watch.
Title: The Lesson
Huggy POV
Episode related: SR (companion piece to Listen, Watch and Learn)
Man, nothin’ hurts worse than the wrong words at the wrong time. Hutch shootin’ his mouth off quicker than a clip full o’ lead, gave this Bear a mighty sore head.
Starsky was dev-as-tat-ed with the half-truth; Hutch needed a kick up the ass.
I knew he’d be watchin from the Caddie; waitin’ for his chau-ffeur. Uh uh, Blondie - someone else needs more rescuin’ than you do!
Nothin’ heals better than the truth told at the right time. The Bear was there to tell a story and lend an ear.
Love conquers all. There, my white brothers, endeth the lesson.
Title: Learn
Starsky POV
Learnin’ the truth of that day, didn’t help. Doc was right - if I couldn’t remember it myself, it would be meaningless. From what Huggy said, I don’t want to remember.
It must’ve been hell for Hutch, Ma, Hug - to keep that from me.
I’m not the only one hurtin’ here.
All I know now, is the road ahead. I can do it, but I’ll need help - from the hospital staff, my friends, family. Most of all, I need to help myself.
What I need even more, is the old Hutch back. So we can learn to live again - together.
Title: We’re OK
Hutch POV
I sneak in quietly, to not disturb him - but he's not asleep, he's crying. Silently. With his eyes closed. Some days are so hard for him now, he doesn't even hide it.
"Hey, buddy". I sit in the soft vinyl chair which has become my second home. He blinks - still with his eyes closed - and a tear falls. He doesn't want to talk - probably can't.
He reaches his hand towards me, I take it and rub its back. Another tear, and pain-filled deep blue eyes open.
"Hey back", he whispers.
He's not okay, but we are.
Title: Numb
Starsky POV
They run their fingers lightly over the scars, massaging in baby oil, gently pushing at the skin so’s it stretches. Then they dig deeper, kneading out adhesions, making them burn. Making me sweat. Another light rub to soothe, and I’m turned like so much tenderized steak.
Some skin prickles, some stings. Most of it’s numb. Apparently that’s the way damaged nerves heal. Maybe I’ll get feeling back, maybe I won’t.
Right.
As long as I can feel in here - in my heart - I don’t care what my body does.
Yeah, it aches, but it beats.
Thank God that’s not numb.
Title: Poor Bastard
Starsky POV
Aw shit! The guy in the next bed just died. Poor bastard.
We were only swapping war stories an hour ago.
“Nurse, nobody in but medical staff” the doctor barked.
It took them a half hour to work on him, pronounce death, wrap him up and pull the curtain ‘round. I had to turn away at first; look out the window and pretend it didn’t bother me.
It was another long half hour before they left and Hutch walked in, shakin’.
“Thank God, Starsk. They wouldn’t tell me anything - I thought it was you.”
“Still here.”
I grinned; poor bastard.
Title: Games
Starsky POV
God, I’m bored. Bored and lonely.
How can I be lonely, when there are people in here every half hour sticking me with things and pulling my dressings around? Lonely for real company - that’s what it is.
A game of Monopoly, or pinochle, or Twister. OK, so not Twister. Chess, maybe - I can take it as slow as my scrambled brain needs, and look like I’m just thinkin’. That’ll fool ‘em.
“Hey, buddy - brought the chess set. Up for a game?”
See, this is why he’s the brains of the outfit.
“Nah, I’m tired”. That’ll get me a foot rub!
Title: Patches
Starsky POV
You know, I loved that car. She and I had a great history together. Work stuff, yeah, but all that making out - hmmm. Rosey, Terry, Kathy, H… never mind.
Work stuff. OK, so she’s a little cramped for sleeping on stake-out, but the smell of leather, the roar under the hood, chasing down crooks in alleyways, the city’s rubbish flying all over the place. Lots of memories.
And then we died on the same day.
Hutch strolls to the bed, grins, helps me up and over to the window.
“All patched up and ready to roll”.
Me? Or the car?