repetition is key
i'm so removed from you, its weird. i think about these images and times passed to the point where they have lost their meaning and understanding. it's similar to repeating the word "barrier," or any word for that matter, until it has no meaning left to be comprehended. that's not to say you don't [have any meaning to me], but rather that these occurrences of consciousnesses catch me off guard. i wish there was some redeemable nature to these exercises, perhaps something therapeutic, healing, proving to solidify the distance between these images and genuine meaning. but i have not convinced myself of that yet...perhaps i should say it over again.
ps what does it matter to me, if you know very well that what you are saying is said only to me and twisted to place blame in exactly the opposite manner as soon as you press post on your friends only [ie only viewable by me!] entry? not much, so don't bother. i did not post this to understand what you have done. i am fully aware of every motive and intention you have ever seen through, it is those around you who are still not aware, and that is why your words hold no importance to me. it is your need for the constant convenience in knowing you can be reminded of your infallible victimized role as soon as you request it that gives me no reason to shudder at your "explanation". you have never been convenient for me to love and i have rarely betrayed your trust when i didn't apologize later and try and redeem myself. this is merely reflection, and publicly at that. everyone reads. everyone interprets. but this is my version and it does not waiver. alterations are so cowardice, i wish i could stress this better. you are a coward.
*cowardice is not posting on the internet because this was not my first attempt, but due to disappointing responses and ridiculed methods of communication it is what is left. and even so, it was not (at first) to prove any point or sway any opinion. i say all of this only in case certain people feel the need to intrude upon a connection that they have no relation to but i hope fervently that they choose to refrain.
"My heads just been a mess like usual. And I still take it out on you. Like usual."-coward