"is that what you call tact?"
i have been working so much. dov charney kind of sucks and i have very little interest in this company anymore. now i need to decide between school, shitty merch retail, and being handed a business yet sacrificing any notion of leaving richmond.
an old "friend" contacted me recently. let's be honest...i have no idea why you called now and why your turn around lasted for two short days, or why it is apparent that everything is back to how it has been for the past 5 years. and now i am angry all over again. control, indifference, rationality...are beyond me. you have every bit of influence over me that you had when we were younger. it is amazing how much of you has left me so bitter. excuse me, but i have to go about denying all of that now.
what is it about you? noah says you like to think of yourself as the protagonist. your passion is only a product of your need to feel viewable. you are so damn believable. so much so, that i doubt you are even aware some times. this sounds a tad over thought and eerily familiar, and of course it is, but damn...why call? why tell me privy information? why insult me with ridiculous confessions about the greatest moments in your life only involving me. and WHY talk of your new and improved presence in my life and with that of our/your old friends[you didn't just let me down!]. i feel like, must appear, and probably am the biggest fool you have ever had the privilege of running across.
and yes, i only said these things because you were "at the top of a building" crying:
-your life has not been a waste
-i don't blame you for what happened
-you weren't really that awful to me
-i still think you can go to college
-no, i didn't assume you were still doing drugs
-jeremy really misses you
-i wasn't really that upset when you made your mom answer your phone and say you were out when i called to ask about your grandmother
-who cares knut, i barely remember...it was so long ago.
man, fuck you.
hm...a fair amount of taking back sunday's "theres no 'I' in team" is feeling mighty appropriate at the moment.