I would understand.
This past week or so I have realized alot of things. This saturday at work was really one of the best days I had working there. I started to talk to a waitress who I work with and we started to talk about Nostradomus, I didn't know alot about him but we had a really good conversation about it. She told me that he was a man who people beleived to have predicted hitler and 9/11, and other famous happenings in history. She told me about these movies that her mother has on this man ,it was really interesting and scarry at the same time. I guess, she told me, that Nostradomus also predicted that Golbal warming will get so bad that it will set the earth off its axis and all the weather around the world will change dramatically, it will cause major naturally disasters. She told me that it will break up the United States and other countries. And I really got freaked out about it. I know it is only a myth, but the more I think about it the more I get into it. I finally said to her that I hope that never happens while I am alive, but then I got to thinking what if I have kids and they have kids and so on, some generation will eventually have to go through it, and that was scarry to say the least. But all that just keeps me wondering.
Today was actually pretty bad. I thought that other people would dress up for spirt week-which to my surprise no one did. So it was me and about ten other people in the school who looked like total speds. I also talked to Alaina and I found out that her and Matt broke up. I felt so bad I didn't really know what to say to her when she told me, besides the "oh- I am so sorry" which sounds so empty when you say it to someone. I hate saying that, I wish I could have said something really deep and insitefull to her, but I just drew a blank. But then again I just don't think you can find the love of your life in Highschool anymore- I mean if at all. Granted most of our parents proablly met in highschool, and some are still together, but times , I guess, have changed. People are more jaded and cynical. Maybe I am just a hopeless romantic at heart, and wish that someday I can find someone I will fall madly in love with , but it's so hard knowing that your dreams are not true. You hear it everyday on TV in movies - that love is no fairytale, and thats hard to take- to know that what you have thought your whole life isn't reality .But I do wish Alaina and matt will work through this , I really do wish her the best and I know that may sound cheesy, but she is such a good person and she diserves it.
I also got into a fight with maria, yet again. If you could call it that. Sometimes I really don't even have to say a thing and somehow it's a fight. Honestly I don't care if everyone reads this it needs to be said. It really hurts my feelings when you say for the 100th time for me to "get a life" and that I should go bother someone else. Is that all I am to you- a "bother". You keep insisting that I am the cause of all the drama in your life, if you took half as much time analyzing all that you do with me you would realize you are not as perfect as you seem to think you are. I don't call you names anymore , because I know how much that hurts you, but I do expect the same back. If you just intend me to sit back and take all the insults you throw at me you are sorely mistaken. I try to be your friend and simply give you advice, but somehow it always end up with me trying to "pry into your business", here's a helpful hint; if you don't want me knowing about you then dont tell me, because like any normal person I might ask questions. I don't think that is abnormal? Either way I am just sick of being treated like dirt. All I ask for is respect and it's obvious you can't show me one bit.