Your fucking sweatshirt?!

[sullenexposure]

My Sidekick thinks it's the smartest thing since the smartest thing before it, but let me just tell you, it's a freakin' lunatic. It comes equipped with all of these "pre-written" text messages...you know, for when you're driving or in a rush and can't type something out quickly enough... Well, you can just go to the pre-written text messsage...section....and it'll type it all for you. Fancy-style. Thing is, you don't get any say in what those pre-written sons of bitches have on their minds.

And, none of them make any sense. Well, maybe two of them do, but that's not enough. Not nearly enough.

Here's what they say:

-I'm busy and will answer later. (Later?! Okay...Be vaguer.)

-Where are you? (Fair enough.)

-Call me when you realize what's best. (WHAT?!?!? Could you be any more dramatic? And how!)

-Please don't not respond. (Uhhhh....double negative, anyone?)

-Where is the meeting? (You tell me, bitch.)

-Please don't. (Excuse me?! Please don't what? Oh yeah, that's right - please don't not respond. You already said that, dick.)

-I'm late and will not be there this time. (Ever? Cuz when you're running late, don't you usually just...you know...show up late? You don't just not come altogether. Fool.)

-Is this the way? (As if they can fucking see where you're going?)

-Sorry I missed your call. (Fine.)

-I have your sweatshirt. (Good for you??!?!?!)

-What's the word on this? (What's da word, yo? And what is "this"?????)

-How's it going? (It's going horribly, because T-Mobile is the biggest and most retarded dipshit in America.)

LEARN TO SPEAK. Please? Can't you just...please?!