My issue is that if you wait too long and DON'T get the kid-type "dating" out of the way (holding hands at recess etc.) then you will be left at age 20, wanting a long-term relationship, and being totally fucking clueless about it because your relationship maturity is that of a pre-teen. It just, it bugs me that there are so many people in their twenties and hell, even thirties who have NO IDEA how to date, no idea how the dating process works, no idea how to court or flirt or anything, and even if they want to, they just don't because they never got that early experience. I think if everyone just started early then it would be less difficult later in life. Entering the dating world is what's hardest, and once you've got that out of the way it's significantly less difficult...the knowledge base of relationships expands.
Maybe not 12, maybe that IS too young for some people, but the kid-type dating (think how russell and I were in 7th grade) needs to be done before you hit 16 and it's fucking stupid. By 16, you can't have the kid-type dates, but if you never did them then you're not going to be mature enough to have REAL dates, so where do you go from there? I am adamant that the 7th grade romance is a NECESSITY for functional relationships later in life.
Take for instance, my current relationship. It's so fucked up because one party never had any sort of dating experience before the current relationship, so the long-term has just been diven into head on, and it has been a whole lot of work on the experienced party's behalf. If he had just gone and done the normal thing it would have been a BIG favour to me. Plus, when you have someone who doesn't START dating until they're 17, they're not going to be ready for marriage until like, 30, which is fucking ridiculous and drives me crazy to no fucking end... I have so many problems with people who START having kids after 30, I really do....for starters, the body is in its physical prime to have kids when you're in your late teens/20s... Why is it that somehow humans have changed to have their physical maturity and emotional maturity so fucking far off? Something is wrong here and it's that people are staying really immature for far too long. You have 40 year olds who still live at home like little kids. You have 18 year olds who have behaviour expected of a 10 year old. It's completely awful...I'm getting off topic, but my point is, I really think that people NEED to have early dating experiences, if for nothing else, then to launch the maturing process to a point where they really are ready to start dating.
God DAMN I am getting mad...
It's not at you though honey! I hope you don't think I'm mad at you! The topic just brings up a lot of bothersome things for me.
I don't feel like you're attacking me! You know what, I was thinking about it this morning from a less angry viewpoint and a more rational viewpoint, and I guess what I'm feeling is that I have to be more aggressive about my values. It's the same thing as I made a post about a while ago, how it's okay to be a tomboy, at the sacrifice of the feminine woman being painted in a negative light. I feel like the promotion of starting a family later in life makes it unacceptable to start earlier. So I feel like I have to be more aggressive to promote what I think is right...is this making any sense?
And I'd always taken the whole "getting into relationships easy" thing as a side effect of me starting early. After the first one...it's not a big deal. I dunno, maybe someone else can explain it to me but I just don't think there is any anxiety associated with the grand act of revealing you have an interest in someone. You like them, you go out once or twice, it starts. Maybe I'm less picky about liking people than the average person? I definitely see how you might have a little more difficulty since, y'know, deviation from the norm. But in het relationships I seriously don't see what the big deal is about telling someone you like them.
My issue with people who start having kids after 30 is that the body is way past its physical prime for babymaking and you're more likely to have problems...at least that is what I have come to believe. A lot of this stuff I feel is just to do a service to others, for instance, I'm mad that my mom waited until she was 30 to have me because she is going to be so old when I'm having kids...I want my kids to have a young grandma...
Maybe not 12, maybe that IS too young for some people, but the kid-type dating (think how russell and I were in 7th grade) needs to be done before you hit 16 and it's fucking stupid. By 16, you can't have the kid-type dates, but if you never did them then you're not going to be mature enough to have REAL dates, so where do you go from there? I am adamant that the 7th grade romance is a NECESSITY for functional relationships later in life.
Take for instance, my current relationship. It's so fucked up because one party never had any sort of dating experience before the current relationship, so the long-term has just been diven into head on, and it has been a whole lot of work on the experienced party's behalf. If he had just gone and done the normal thing it would have been a BIG favour to me. Plus, when you have someone who doesn't START dating until they're 17, they're not going to be ready for marriage until like, 30, which is fucking ridiculous and drives me crazy to no fucking end... I have so many problems with people who START having kids after 30, I really do....for starters, the body is in its physical prime to have kids when you're in your late teens/20s... Why is it that somehow humans have changed to have their physical maturity and emotional maturity so fucking far off? Something is wrong here and it's that people are staying really immature for far too long. You have 40 year olds who still live at home like little kids. You have 18 year olds who have behaviour expected of a 10 year old. It's completely awful...I'm getting off topic, but my point is, I really think that people NEED to have early dating experiences, if for nothing else, then to launch the maturing process to a point where they really are ready to start dating.
God DAMN I am getting mad...
It's not at you though honey! I hope you don't think I'm mad at you! The topic just brings up a lot of bothersome things for me.
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And I'd always taken the whole "getting into relationships easy" thing as a side effect of me starting early. After the first one...it's not a big deal. I dunno, maybe someone else can explain it to me but I just don't think there is any anxiety associated with the grand act of revealing you have an interest in someone. You like them, you go out once or twice, it starts. Maybe I'm less picky about liking people than the average person? I definitely see how you might have a little more difficulty since, y'know, deviation from the norm. But in het relationships I seriously don't see what the big deal is about telling someone you like them.
My issue with people who start having kids after 30 is that the body is way past its physical prime for babymaking and you're more likely to have problems...at least that is what I have come to believe. A lot of this stuff I feel is just to do a service to others, for instance, I'm mad that my mom waited until she was 30 to have me because she is going to be so old when I'm having kids...I want my kids to have a young grandma...
I dunno what I'm getting at anymore.
:/
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