(no subject)
um, hi guys. i always feel uberweird posting new entries. it's as if they are the chronicle of my life and once they've been written they become Truth with a capital T. Scary. Don't like.
but on a lighter note, nothing on computer has any actual physical existence in space except as impressions on memory cards or something. i think that's a lighter note. it was meant to be.
i am just newly addicted to Franz Ferdinand, complements of Maria, who sent me an (autographed) copy of their debut album for my birthday. Awesomeness. I don't know why i've become slightly crazy about them, but i have, and while i only got the cd two days ago, i've already listened to it straight through at least seven times. At some point I will go into a more detailed consideration of their style and individual songs, but i am not in the proper frame of mind for that right now. Suffice it to say that if all you've ever heard of theirs is 'take me out', don't judge them solely on that song.
i've been spending lots of time over the past week doing a few things I don't do often, and a few things I used to do more frequently but haven't done lately. Lots of socializing, went to two meetings of the anime society, went out clubbing twice, voluntarily sat and chatted with random girls from my hallway, knowing that for the next month i'm going to be living in the hall essentially alone. I even planned and organized a (small) christmas party for the day before most of them left. Things I hadn't done lately but suddenly did a lot of: reading for pleasure. I'm sailing through Robert Heinlein's Number of the Beast, and am enthralled. Baking: a batch of brownies and two kinds of cookies, all successes. And sleeping. Not the 4-hour naps twice a day I have become accustomed to. I was out for 12 hours straight last night.
Thursday was drink-the-bar-dry night, and stupidly (trying to be social) i participated and ended up going to a local club afterwards with a girl named Emma who I knew only because i met her during Fresher's week (back in September :oP). anyway, the club was all right, but... some weird stuff happened that makes me slightly uncomfortable to reflect on, and I feel even now slightly detached from reality and from myself (though that might just be the after-effects of too much drink). The closest word for what I am feeling is regret, but it is mixed with curiousity and something like guilt (which i am trying violently to repress as I think it has no right to be fighting for my attention).
I do not feel like describing the night in more detail right now, but perhaps i'll go back and reflect on it later because i think that something important did happen and if i can untangle what exactly it was, i'll get back to you on it. there was some sort of shift in my consciousness of myself and my place in this world, some change in self-awareness. I don't mean to be vague and infuriating, but until i go back over things in my head i won't even know what to write anyway.
Words are weird.
but on a lighter note, nothing on computer has any actual physical existence in space except as impressions on memory cards or something. i think that's a lighter note. it was meant to be.
i am just newly addicted to Franz Ferdinand, complements of Maria, who sent me an (autographed) copy of their debut album for my birthday. Awesomeness. I don't know why i've become slightly crazy about them, but i have, and while i only got the cd two days ago, i've already listened to it straight through at least seven times. At some point I will go into a more detailed consideration of their style and individual songs, but i am not in the proper frame of mind for that right now. Suffice it to say that if all you've ever heard of theirs is 'take me out', don't judge them solely on that song.
i've been spending lots of time over the past week doing a few things I don't do often, and a few things I used to do more frequently but haven't done lately. Lots of socializing, went to two meetings of the anime society, went out clubbing twice, voluntarily sat and chatted with random girls from my hallway, knowing that for the next month i'm going to be living in the hall essentially alone. I even planned and organized a (small) christmas party for the day before most of them left. Things I hadn't done lately but suddenly did a lot of: reading for pleasure. I'm sailing through Robert Heinlein's Number of the Beast, and am enthralled. Baking: a batch of brownies and two kinds of cookies, all successes. And sleeping. Not the 4-hour naps twice a day I have become accustomed to. I was out for 12 hours straight last night.
Thursday was drink-the-bar-dry night, and stupidly (trying to be social) i participated and ended up going to a local club afterwards with a girl named Emma who I knew only because i met her during Fresher's week (back in September :oP). anyway, the club was all right, but... some weird stuff happened that makes me slightly uncomfortable to reflect on, and I feel even now slightly detached from reality and from myself (though that might just be the after-effects of too much drink). The closest word for what I am feeling is regret, but it is mixed with curiousity and something like guilt (which i am trying violently to repress as I think it has no right to be fighting for my attention).
I do not feel like describing the night in more detail right now, but perhaps i'll go back and reflect on it later because i think that something important did happen and if i can untangle what exactly it was, i'll get back to you on it. there was some sort of shift in my consciousness of myself and my place in this world, some change in self-awareness. I don't mean to be vague and infuriating, but until i go back over things in my head i won't even know what to write anyway.
Words are weird.