Candidates For Favorite Patient - Part 1
So i've been at JR for 5 days now, under my surgical rotation. The following is a list of candidates for favorite patient of the week, along with a bunch of patient that were just memorable but not at all my favorite. Guess which is which. :o)
1. The sosyal na cab driver
Hit-and-run on bambang, the taxi was hit by a ten-wheeler. Another cab driver who was at the scene helped him out because there was no one else around to help. The Sosyal cab driver showed up on a stretcher wearing a blood-streaked white shirt. leather-looking nice white shoes, and two fractured arms. He was also mestizuhin. While I was checking his blood pressure, I heard him asking Helpful cab driver to please return to the scene of the accident to fetch his celfone from his cab. The other cab driver refused in a nice way, and then Sosyal said he wouldn't mind paying. Helpful got offended at this point and left shortly afterwards.
Next time I came to check his BP, Sosyal asked me to search his wallet for a piece of paper na may celfone number (someone to help him?). I obliged. There was SO MUCH folded up pieces of paper in his wallet. Ok fine, whatever. I unfolded and recited what I read on each paper. When I got to one paper that had a bunch of numbers written on it, he asked me to tear it up and throw it. Sabi ko later, but he insisted I do it kagad. I thought to myself 'hmm... numbers for lotto. bah, that can wait.' So insisted na later na yun. After unfolding about 20 pieces of paper, I found one with some celfone numbers and recited it for him. Ayaw nya nung numbers na yun.
Grrr... Bossy si Sosyal ah! I told him that he was in the Emergency Room, ok. That he should just pick one of those numbers and then I'll call that number so may kasama sya. He must've heard the annoyance in my voice because he picked one of those numbers. As I was walking away, he insisted uli na I tear up the lotto numbers and throw it away. I just ignored him.
I called the number, it belonged to his tita, Sosyal said. I was like, "Hello? Is this Ms XY? Do you know a Mr XX cab driver? There's been an accident, he's in the emergency room. You must come right away." Caps later told me na super fake & galing-sa-tv the way I delivered that daw, and that if it was she who received a phone call like that (at 3am), she would make mura the caller and bang the phone.
I went back about an hour later to check on him. Now he wanted another piece of paper, with more celfone numbers on them. Although I was in a hurry, I felt sorry for him so I did it even though I didn't want to. When I found that stupid piece of paper, he called me 'nurse' and asked me to call that number using my celfone. NURSE? Hmmm tlaga ha? I said ok I would and then walked away and didn't check on him again. I dunno what happened to him, but his kasama showed up about 3-4 hours later
2. The 2 call boys and one gerlpren-of-call boy
These 3 were the passengers of Sosyal, and they showed up about 30 minutes after Sosyal did. One call boy had a gash on his Forearm, a few abrasions (and pock marks) on his face - 20 years old lang sya, not very good looking, pero may katawan naman. The other call boy had a medium-sized cut above his Eyebrow - he was 24 years old and pretty cute. Mas konti yung sugat nya because he was in the backseat, and with his head in the lap of his gerlpren.
Si gerlpren naman was actually a very-goodlooking gay guy. Have you met this type of gay? Small-framed body, just like that of a girl, hair nice enough to look like it belongs to a girl, makinis na skin, and poised pa sya so the kanto boys won't think to make her bastos. Anyway, si gerlpren had a couple of hematomas lang on her face, while the two call boys would need stitches.
I stitched up Forearm, while Eyebrow and gerlpren were hanging around (and making pa-cute to each other). Forearm was so takot of the syringe I used for anesthesia, it was kinda funny haha he was covering his eyes with his other hand. Eh kami ni Caps, ginagago naman all the patients. Whenever there's a patient with a gash on his foot or hand, I always wait for the right moment and then announce that we have to cut the extremity off. Caps naman, her favorite line is when the anti-tetanus vaccine is on its way, and Caps tells the patient its gonna be injected into his ass. Hahaha. Some patients laugh, others throw you a really serious look. Caps and I don't really care, we just keep making loko the patients.
Teka, parang pagod nako. This will have to be Part One of the post, I'll save the stories about other patients for another post. :o))
1. The sosyal na cab driver
Hit-and-run on bambang, the taxi was hit by a ten-wheeler. Another cab driver who was at the scene helped him out because there was no one else around to help. The Sosyal cab driver showed up on a stretcher wearing a blood-streaked white shirt. leather-looking nice white shoes, and two fractured arms. He was also mestizuhin. While I was checking his blood pressure, I heard him asking Helpful cab driver to please return to the scene of the accident to fetch his celfone from his cab. The other cab driver refused in a nice way, and then Sosyal said he wouldn't mind paying. Helpful got offended at this point and left shortly afterwards.
Next time I came to check his BP, Sosyal asked me to search his wallet for a piece of paper na may celfone number (someone to help him?). I obliged. There was SO MUCH folded up pieces of paper in his wallet. Ok fine, whatever. I unfolded and recited what I read on each paper. When I got to one paper that had a bunch of numbers written on it, he asked me to tear it up and throw it. Sabi ko later, but he insisted I do it kagad. I thought to myself 'hmm... numbers for lotto. bah, that can wait.' So insisted na later na yun. After unfolding about 20 pieces of paper, I found one with some celfone numbers and recited it for him. Ayaw nya nung numbers na yun.
Grrr... Bossy si Sosyal ah! I told him that he was in the Emergency Room, ok. That he should just pick one of those numbers and then I'll call that number so may kasama sya. He must've heard the annoyance in my voice because he picked one of those numbers. As I was walking away, he insisted uli na I tear up the lotto numbers and throw it away. I just ignored him.
I called the number, it belonged to his tita, Sosyal said. I was like, "Hello? Is this Ms XY? Do you know a Mr XX cab driver? There's been an accident, he's in the emergency room. You must come right away." Caps later told me na super fake & galing-sa-tv the way I delivered that daw, and that if it was she who received a phone call like that (at 3am), she would make mura the caller and bang the phone.
I went back about an hour later to check on him. Now he wanted another piece of paper, with more celfone numbers on them. Although I was in a hurry, I felt sorry for him so I did it even though I didn't want to. When I found that stupid piece of paper, he called me 'nurse' and asked me to call that number using my celfone. NURSE? Hmmm tlaga ha? I said ok I would and then walked away and didn't check on him again. I dunno what happened to him, but his kasama showed up about 3-4 hours later
2. The 2 call boys and one gerlpren-of-call boy
These 3 were the passengers of Sosyal, and they showed up about 30 minutes after Sosyal did. One call boy had a gash on his Forearm, a few abrasions (and pock marks) on his face - 20 years old lang sya, not very good looking, pero may katawan naman. The other call boy had a medium-sized cut above his Eyebrow - he was 24 years old and pretty cute. Mas konti yung sugat nya because he was in the backseat, and with his head in the lap of his gerlpren.
Si gerlpren naman was actually a very-goodlooking gay guy. Have you met this type of gay? Small-framed body, just like that of a girl, hair nice enough to look like it belongs to a girl, makinis na skin, and poised pa sya so the kanto boys won't think to make her bastos. Anyway, si gerlpren had a couple of hematomas lang on her face, while the two call boys would need stitches.
I stitched up Forearm, while Eyebrow and gerlpren were hanging around (and making pa-cute to each other). Forearm was so takot of the syringe I used for anesthesia, it was kinda funny haha he was covering his eyes with his other hand. Eh kami ni Caps, ginagago naman all the patients. Whenever there's a patient with a gash on his foot or hand, I always wait for the right moment and then announce that we have to cut the extremity off. Caps naman, her favorite line is when the anti-tetanus vaccine is on its way, and Caps tells the patient its gonna be injected into his ass. Hahaha. Some patients laugh, others throw you a really serious look. Caps and I don't really care, we just keep making loko the patients.
Teka, parang pagod nako. This will have to be Part One of the post, I'll save the stories about other patients for another post. :o))