Your Bet's as Good as Mine (11/16)
Title: Your Bet's as Good as Mine (11/16)
Pairing: Yunho/Changmin
Words: 5,060
Beta: chibisuz <3
Warnings: none
Notes: Well! It's been forever! Sorry ^^;; Updates will be more regular now that college is over :D
Comments are love ^^
A few days before Christmas, the morning dawned bright and cold, a crispness to the air that made Changmin feel alive. Snow was scattered all over the ground, piled high on the sides of the roads and parking lots. Trees drooped with the burden of the flakes, branches reaching towards the ground. It was a breathtaking scene. Changmin gazed at it, sunglasses perched on his nose to shield against the dazzling snow and shivering despite his warm parka and scarf.
By the time he was all packed up and ready to go, Yunho was done with one final and still had one left. He came to see Changmin off as he was getting the last of his things into his car. Without a word, he hugged Changmin when he turned around, burying his face in Changmin’s neck. Changmin smiled and wrapped his arms around his neck, breathing in the nectarine scent of Yunho’s shampoo.
“Why are you leaving me,” Yunho said, his voice muffled.
Changmin stroked his hair. “I’m not leaving you. I’m going home.”
Yunho looked up and pouted. “Without me.”
“You can come, if you want to meet my parents,” Changmin teased.
A mock look of horror crossed Yunho’s face, and Changmin laughed. Yunho took the opportunity to kiss his jaw, and then lifted Changmin’s sunglasses off his face and into his hair. “Okay, you can go without me.”
Changmin kissed him, Yunho’s lips soft and yielding under his. His mouth opened to allow Changmin’s probing tongue in, and Changmin slipped in eagerly. Yunho’s previously cold lips began to warm between his. As much as he would have loved to keep nibbling Yunho’s soft lips, he pulled away reluctantly.
Yunho took his hand in his, entwining their fingers together. “I won’t see you for an entire month,” he said softly. He sounded genuinely disappointed about it. Changmin smiled and bopped his red nose.
“We’ll talk every day. Do you think you can get rid of me so easily?”
Yunho smiled, though there wasn’t much warmth in it. “I would never want to get rid of you,” he said, leaning in to nuzzle his cheek. “Besides, it won’t be the same.”
“We can Skype. You’ll see me every day then,” Changmin said.
“It still won’t be the same,” Yunho said, wrapping his arms around Changmin and beginning to rock them from side to side, his chin on Changmin’s shoulder and nose in his neck. It was cold, and Changmin shivered involuntarily. Yunho kissed his neck in apology. Their huge winter jackets were preventing them from getting close enough.
Changmin let himself be rocked. Yunho didn’t look very happy, and although Changmin had been hoping for some sort of sign that he would be missed, he hadn’t expected it to be so obvious. Now that he had his sign, though, he didn’t want Yunho to be unhappy. “Hey,” he said, nudging Yunho’s temple with his nose.
“Mmm?” Yunho didn’t lift his head, but cocked it to show he was listening.
“Stop being a crybaby.”
Yunho snorted. “I’m not crying.”
“You sound like you’re five seconds from it.”
“Am not.”
“Are too.”
Yunho lifted his head and scowled at him. “You’re wasting our precious kissing time with your pointless arguing,” he informed Changmin.
Changmin laughed, hugging him closer and kissing him again and again.
When he drew apart, he murmured, “I really have to go now.”
Yunho sighed. “I know. Sorry.”
Yunho gave him a final chaste kiss and then let him go. “You’re going to talk to me everyday,” he said, and then corrected himself. “No, every hour. Okay? Okay.”
Changmin smiled at him, but didn’t go in for another kiss. He’d never leave at that rate.
Yunho turned him around and wrapped his arms around his waist, and then walked him to the car door, opening it for him and waiting for him to get in before shutting it. “Text me when you get home, okay? Drive safe.”
“I will,” Changmin said, settling himself. Kyuhyun had borrowed his car the other night, and always had to adjust the seat and the mirrors to accommodate his shorter-than-Changmin’s height. It both amused and annoyed Changmin in equal measure.
Yunho was standing behind the car now, hands tucked in his pockets and nose buried in his scarf. He looked like a turtle.
Changmin looked into the rearview mirror. He turned around in his seat to wave goodbye, and Yunho smiled and waved back. With a final glance through the rearview mirror, Changmin drove away.
Keeping one eye on the road and the other on the mirror though, Changmin couldn’t help but think that Yunho looked somehow...sad. He looked lonely and tiny in Changmin’s mirror, and the further away he got, the more he couldn’t help but think that he had just missed something very important, something that completely flew over his head.
His stomach felt funny just looking at the rear view mirror; he didn’t like the feeling in his gut.
The feeling wouldn’t go away all the way on the ride home.
***
As he promised Yunho, he sent him a text to let him know he had arrived home safely. Yunho sent him a quick text in reply, and then Changmin went inside to greet his family. As soon as he was in the door, his mother was squashing him to herself, tears in her eyes as she hugged him and cried about how happy she was to see her son. Changmin smiled and hugged her back tightly, kissing her forehead. She finally released him to let him hug his dad, who smiled warmly at him, his eyes crinkled, and then his younger sisters, Sooyeon and Jiyeon. Sooyeon was a year younger than Changmin, while Jiyeon was 15. He ruffled their hair, something he knew they hated and so of course did even more. They pushed his hands away and complained about Oppa is always ruining our hair! But they hugged him tight anyway, both of them kissing each cheek.
He had been a little upset about leaving Yunho, but now seeing his family happy and fussing over him, his heart warmed all over again and he was glad to be home.
When he had unpacked his car and settled into his room properly, he came downstairs to find his mother had cooked nothing less than a feast, and he dug in with enthusiasm. He chatted with his family, talking about grades and catching up on all the latest family gossip, who had had a baby and which cousin was causing what scandal.
When they finished finished up with dinner and cleaning the kitchen, Changmin went to put his gifts for his family under the tree, and then they all sat around. The conversation was easy and flowed, and Changmin soon found himself lulled to sleep by the sound of their quiet murmuring.
He hadn’t realized he had been dozing until Sooyeon was shaking him awake, telling him to go to bed. He nodded sleepily and went upstairs, bidding them all good night. It wasn’t until he was all tucked into bed, feeling clean and warm, that he jolted upright.
He had completely forgotten to tell Kyuhyun about Yunho’s gift!
Scrambling out of bed, he turned on his phone only to drop it and let out a small yelp of surprise when the brightness of the screen nearly blinded him. Cursing under his breath, he groped on the floor for it and turned it on again, this time facing it away from him until his eyes adjusted.
He swiped it open and pulled up the contact list, and called Kyuhyun, despite it being after midnight. What are best friends for, after all.
The phone rang several times, and when Kyuhyun picked up, his voice was gruff and confused. “Hello?”
“Kyuhyun, it’s me,” Changmin said, feeling a little bad for waking him up. His best friend hadn’t gotten much sleep recently due to finals.
“Changmin?” He still sounded a little confused.
“Yeah, Kyuhyun, wake up, I need your help.”
That seemed to awaken him slightly. “Are you alright? What’s wrong?”
“Yeah, I’m fine, it’s just that I forgot to tell you about Yunho’s present,” Changmin replied, smiling slightly.
Kyuhyun groaned. “Ugh, that’s what you woke me up for?” There was a thump on the other line, as if he had face planted on his pillow.
“Sorry bro, I forgot to tell you before I left,” Changmin said apologetically.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Where is it?”
“It’s in my closet, but Kyuhyun, there’s two there, so make sure you don’t get the wrong one, okay?”
There was shuffling on the other line. “Fuck it’s cold,” Kyuhyun mumbled. There was some more shifting around, an oof! as he seemed to trip over over something, another curse, and then Kyuhyun said, “Which shelf?”
“All the way on top.”
Kyuhyun didn’t say anything for a few seconds. “I see it,” he said, but his words fell away into a yawn.
“Kyu make sure you get the flat one, not the box. Okay? Did you get the right one?”
Kyuhyun yawned loudly. “Yeah yeah, got it, flat box.”
“No, just the flat one!” Changmin nearly screeched. He did not want Yunho to see the picture frame, no matter what.
“Ugh, stop screeching in my ear, I got it,” Kyuhyun said, yawning yet again.
Changmin huffed. “I did not screech.”
“Whatever. Is that all? May I sleep now, sir?”
“Yupp, thanks a lot. Make sure you don’t forget it when you go home tomorrow though! I already put the address and everything on, you just have to drop it off at the post office, okay?”
“Got it. Night, Changmin.”
“Good night,” Changmin replied. He cut the line and then crawled into bed again, relieved at having remembered before it was too late.
His earlier nap had been a bad idea, though. He fidgeted in bed, turning this way and that, before giving it up for a bad job and reaching for his phone again.
He contemplated texting Yunho, but wasn’t sure if he’d be awake. Or free. Finals were such a cockblock.
Twirling his phone in hand, he thought about the way Yunho had looked when he had been leaving, so tiny and somehow sad. He tapped the phone against his teeth, making a clacking sound. Maybe he should call, just to check on him.
Sent to Man Candy 12:24 AM
Hey. Are you awake?
As always with Yunho, he hadn’t even put the phone down before he received a text.
Received from Man Candy 12:24 AM
yupp. im gonna call u
Changmin smiled and waited for Yunho to call. He picked up on the first ring. “Yunho.”
“Changminnie.” Yunho’s voice was warm.
Changmin settled back in his bed, leaning against the pillows stacked behind him and pulling the comfy duvet up to his chest. “What are you doing?” he asked softly, mindful of his sleeping family.
Yunho sighed. “Studying, what else.” The sound of shuffling papers and a textbook being snapped shut came through the line. Then Yunho made kitten like noises that Changmin knew meant he was stretching. When he was settled, his voice came back. “What are you doing?”
“Laying in bed. I took a nap earlier and now I can’t sleep.”
Yunho chuckled. “Aw poor baby,” he teased. “Guess you’ll have to stay up all night now.”
Changmin pouted. “Not funny.”
“Of course not,” Yunho agreed somberly.
Changmin rolled his eyes, and then got to business, hesitating only a bit. "So. Are you alright?"
There was a slight pause. "Why wouldn't I be?" Yunho sounded serious.
"Just, you seemed a little upset today," Changmin said cautiously.
"Of course I was upset. Everyone was leaving for Christmas and I was all alone." Changmin could bet his whole life that Yunho was pouting.
He noticed, though, that Yunho said everyone and not just Changmin. He tried not to feel too disappointed.
“You’ll be done soon,” he assured him, and then shifted in bed. “Is that really it, though?”
Yunho was quiet for a second, and then sighed. “I’m just tired. I’ll be fine in a few days. When I’m home.”
He didn’t sound like he himself was convinced. “But what’s wrong?” Changmin pressed.
Yunho made a frustrated sound. “Look, nothing, I’m just tired of studying.”
Yunho didn’t seem like he wanted to talk about it, and by all rights Changmin that was when should have stopped pressing him for details, but he couldn’t help himself; he had to know what had made Yunho look like that. He waited for a few seconds, and listened to Yunho shifting uncomfortably on the other line.
“So. How was your day?” Yunho said, voice too bright and too fake.
“Alright.”
“Was your family happy to see you?”
“Yeah, they were.”
There was another pause, and then, “Are you going to tell them about us?”
Changmin paused. He hadn’t thought about that at all. “Uh, I haven’t thought about it. Do you want me to?”
“No!” Yunho said, voice loud, and startled Changmin. Yunho seemed to realize how loud he was and lowered his voice. “I mean, no, I don’t think you should.”
Changmin hadn’t expected the sinking feeling in his gut, but when he noticed it, he hated it. Why didn’t Yunho want to share their relationship? “Why?” was the only word Changmin could get out. His voice cracked, though, and made him sound extra pathetic. He cleared his throat.
“Because. I mean, we haven’t been together all that long. Right?”
“I guess not,” Changmin said reluctantly.
“Yeah, so we should wait a bit.” Yunho sounded relieved.
“Okay,” Changmin said quietly, not at all liking Yunho’s tone and what it could possibly mean.
“Are you mad?” Yunho asked. Was Changmin just imagining it or did Yunho sound worried? Unwilling to let himself be falsely reassured, though, he passed it off as his imagination.
“No, you’re right, we haven’t been together long at all,” he replied, knowing it was the truth.
“Okay, that’s good.”
Another silence, and it frustrated Changmin to no end. What was wrong with them? He hadn’t had such a painfully awkward conversation with Yunho since their huge falling out months ago.
“You should go back to studying now,” he said, as much as it killed him to end the conversation.
Yunho, however, seemed to jump at the opportunity. “Yeah, good idea.”
Changmin smiled despite himself. “It’s your last one, right? What time?”
“Yupp. At eight. Then I can go home,” he said, voice bright. He seemed to be genuinely happy at the thought of home.
“Did you pack everything already?”
“Mostly, I just left some clothes and the bedding and bathroom things.”
“Bathroom things? How eloquent,” Changmin teased.
Yunho huffed. “I’m sorry not everyone can possess your articulateness.”
“That was pretty articulate,” he said, laughing.
“I think you’ve rubbed off on me,” Yunho said, sounding mildly surprised.
“Good, then I think by the time I’m done with you you’ll have the illusion of seeming infinitely smarter than you actually are,” Changmin said seriously.
“Hey! Whattaya mean illusion? I am smart!”
“If you have to tell someone you are, then you can’t be very much,” he said, enjoying the way he was riling Yunho up.
There was a pause in which he just knew Yunho was glaring and pouting at the phone. “Changminnie you’re really mean,” he whined.
“Mean? What are you, five?” Changmin said, barely containing his laughter.
“Whatever. I’m not talking to you anymore,” Yunho said petulantly.
Changmin let his laughter loose, in a quiet sort of way, because his family was still asleep. It was a good few minutes when he finally got it under control, bursts of giggles still escaping despite his best efforts to stop them.
“Are you quite done?” Yunho said, sounding annoyed.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I don’t mean that, I know you’re smart. It’s just fun to tease you,” Changmin said, chuckling.
“I gathered,” Yunho sniffed. “Alright, I really have to go now.”
“Okay, have fun studying.”
“Now you’re just mocking me.”
“I would never,” Changmin said, his voice appropriately offended.
“Uh huh.” Yunho didn’t believe him, of course. He knew Changmin. “Good night, pretty baby.”
“Good night,” he replied softly.
Yunho made a kissing sound through the phone, which made Changmin laugh, but when Yunho insisted he do it too, he did.
After Yunho hung up, he sat there staring at his phone. Their conversation had ended on a lighter note than it had started, for which Changmin was grateful, but it hadn’t distracted him. If anything, it made it even more painfully obvious that something was not quite right with Yunho. He hoped it was just exam blues like he had said, but something told him it wasn’t. Something was wrong, and Changmin would find out for sure, even if he had to pry it out of his boyfriend.
***
The next day passed by lazily. Changmin got out of bed at 11, and then spent the rest of the morning and afternoon eating and playing video games on his home system. His parents were at the main Shim store, so it left his sisters to converse with. Sooyeon was on break from her first year of college, and Jiyeon had a week off from her high school. They weren’t bad company, and occasionally indulged him by playing with him, even though Changmin always destroyed them without mercy.
“So, Oppa.” Sooyeon was eyeing him over the top of her book.
Changmin glanced at her, and then back to the television. That tone was enough warning that Sooyeon was about to tread into dangerous waters, so he tried to brace himself. “What?”
“Have you found anyone yet?”
Jiyeon looked up from her phone in interest.
Of course. Blunt, that one was, and much too nosy. She and Changmin were almost the same age, so he had always been more comfortable with her compared to his youngest sister. Sometimes Changmin thought Sooyeon understood him better than even their own parents. He supposed it helped that she always wanted to know everything that was happening, whether it had anything to do with her or not. Her nosiness and observant personality were a lethal combination. In fact, two years ago, she had been the first to notice something was amiss, and bought it to their parent’s attention. Changmin had wanted to strangle her at the time, but now he was sort of grateful.
Changmin rolled his eyes. “Found anyone? Really? How old are you, exactly?”
Sooyeon threw a balled up piece of paper at him. Changmin glared at her when it hit his cheek, but she just smiled beatifically. “Just answer the question.”
“Nothing serious,” he said, keeping his eyes on the screen as he gutted another alien through the stomach. He was careful not to look at her, because she had the uncanny ability to know when he was lying.
“Oh really?” she asked, sounding suspicious.
“Yeah, really.”
“Nothing serious? Then there’s something, at least?” she pressed, not letting it go.
Damn. He was hoping his white lie would assuage her, but of course it didn't.
“Oppa has a boyfriend?” Jiyeon asked, perking up.
“No, I don’t, go back to your phone,” he said, glaring at her. He wasn’t so bad an older brother that he would talk about casual sex with his 15-year-old sister. That’s not what he had with Yunho, of course, but he was going to have to pretend if he wanted to throw Sooyeon off his trail.
He looked at Sooyeon and tried to make it as meaningful a look as he could, hoping she’d get the point, and it seemed she did, because she backed off. Jiyeon looked between the two of them with her bottom lip caught between her teeth and her brow furrowed, Sooyeon reading her book and Changmin pretending to focus on his game, and then settled back, grumbling. “You guys never tell me anything.”
Changmin glanced behind him to see her pouting cutely, and grinned before going back to his game.
They sat in silence for a while, and then Changmin said, “And you guys? Have you ‘found anyone’?” He didn’t need to make air quotes for Sooyeon to get that he was teasing her.
She looked up with a glare. “No, but Jiyeon has.”
He turned around to look at her, to see Jiyeon looking horrified. “Unnie, you promised not to tell anyone!”
“No, I promised not to tell Mom and Dad,” Sooyeon corrected, looking smug.
“Aren’t you too young to have a boyfriend?” Changmin cut in before Jiyeon could say something back. The youngest Shim was quite argumentative, and he would rather avoid a squabble between the two of them right now.
"I'm fifteen!" she said, sounding scandalized.
"That's pretty young," he said mildly.
"No it's not," she said heatedly. "I'm only a year younger than you were when you had your first boyfriend!"
The words seemed to slip from her mouth before they caught up with her brain, and when they did her eyes widened almost comically. She bought a hand up to her mouth, as if to stop the words from escaping, but it was too late, of course.
Changmin turned back to his game, but not before catching Sooyeon's wide-eyed expression, body tense. Changmin's ex was never mentioned in their house. It had been Changmin's problem, but had affected their entire household so drastically that his family hardly even acknowledged that Changmin had even had a boyfriend. Any mentions in his presence by his big mouthed youngest sister, by accident of course, were quickly shut down, and the subject was swiftly changed by their parents.
"I'm sorry, Oppa," Jiyeon whispered, sounding horrified.
It was her whispered, innocent words that calmed him. He smiled and looked at her so she would see. "It's alright. You're telling the truth, anyway. I was 16."
Her small shoulders sagged in relief. From the corner of his eyes he could see Sooyeon relax visibly, even though she looked slightly surprised.
"But I was still a year older than you," he continued. "A year makes a huge difference."
"I suppose," Jiyeon said reluctantly.
"So you shouldn't let it get too serious," he said, fixing her with a pointed stare.
Jiyeon stared back in confusion, but when her cheeks started to color Changmin knew she understood. "Yes, Oppa," she said quietly.
"Good," he said, and focused on his game again.
He thought about how a simple mention of his ex used to make him freeze up, and how irrational fear would run through his veins. He remembered how weak and pathetic it made him feel, how much he hated it. Now, he realized he had come quite a long way. Not only did he not feel fear at the mention of that asshole, but he was also able to acknowledge what had happened in front of his family, something he hadn't been able to do in these two years.
Even that incident at the bar. He didn't know how the Changmin from a year ago would have reacted, but he knew he had handled that better than he could have under other circumstances. Maybe a younger Changmin would have run screaming from the club, but he hadn't, and he realized he was quite proud of himself for that. His friends and Yunho, he suspected, played no small part in his confidence. He didn't know where he would be without the constant comfort and reassurance that was Kyuhyun's friendship, or the steady courage and presence Yunho had provided. Even Heechul the ass had been comforting and encouraging.
Yes, Changmin mused, he had come quite far, and he had several people to thank for that.
When their parents came back from work hours later, Changmin and his sisters prepared dinner while forcing their parents to relax. Changmin bossed them around and made them do the small things, like bringing him ingredients and setting the table, just because he could. His sisters grumbled the entire time, and he was sure he heard Sooyeon saying something about "Bossy McBossypants", but they listened anyway.
His parents complimented his cooking when they sat around the dining table for dinner, and he preened under their praise while smiling smugly at his sisters. Jiyeon broke in to say she had helped too, thank you very much, to which his mother said "Of course, dear, we know what a great helper you are," but Jiyeon didn't look very mollified. Even she with her air headed tendencies knew when she was being patronized.
After dinner they lounged around in the living room, making small talk while Jiyeon watched a music show. She was making googly eyes at some of the idols, but Sooyeon would look up occasionally from her novel and roll her eyes at Jiyeon's cooing.
Changmin raised an eyebrow at her. "Not interested?"
She scoffed. "The idol industry is over saturated with talentless pretty boys and girls who are only there to look pretty while shaking their butts, plastic dolls, and abusive working conditions. It turns one off the pretty lights and makeup," she sniffed haughtily.
Changmin rolled his eyes harder. "Just enjoy the music, you prude."
Sooyeon gave him the finger, hiding it by her book so their parents wouldn't see, and went back to reading.
Their parents went to bed early, being exhausted from working overtime to straighten things out at the main store before taking a break for the holidays.
Changmin made his break too, calling goodnight to his sisters and escaping to his room. Sooyeon watched him go with narrowed eyes, and he knew she was going to pull it out of him before the break ended. He thumped his head against the door and sighed. Oh well.
When he was done with his nightly ablutions and settled in bed again, he called Yunho. His boyfriend must have gotten home by now; he knew Gwangju was a long way from Seoul, but he had had the entire day to finish packing and get home.
Yunho didn't pick up the first time, and when Changmin called again ten minutes later, he picked up on the third ring.
"Changminnie!" Yunho's voice was a little loud and very bright. It made Changmin flinch, even as his insides warmed at the familiar voice.
"Hi Yunho."
"How are you, baby?" He sounded so cheerful it was making Changmin smile like a lunatic.
"Just fine. What are you so happy about?" he asked, knowing Yunho wouldn't be offended by his word choice.
Yunho laughed. "I'm just happy to see my family. I didn't realize how much I had missed being home."
"That's nice. Were they happy to see you?" Changmin teased.
Yunho scoffed. "Of course they were. I'm their beloved, genius, handsome, heir to the Jung law offices."
"Meh, I don't know about genius and handsome. I think it's just because you're the heir," Changmin said silkily, trying to sound nonchalant.
"Excuse you, they love me," Yunho said, and Changmin could almost see the way Yunho would be scowling.
Changmin laughed. "Yes, I'm sure they do," he said softly. "How were your finals?"
Yunho brightened again. "Good! I'm just glad they're over, to be honest."
"Me too," Changmin murmured. "You're quite the pain in the ass when you're stressed."
"Yes, I suppose that much sex must be painful for you," Yunho said seriously, and Changmin had to pause for a moment to understand what he said.
When he finally recognized the double meaning behind his own words, he didn't know whether to laugh or roll his eyes at Yunho's lameness, so he settled for both. "God, Yunho, you're so lame," he said.
Yunho laughed. "I know you love my lameness. It's why you're still with me," he said, as if he was confiding a secret.
"I'm sure that's because of your cock."
"Well that too, my cock is pretty magnificent."
"Wow, your modesty is astounding."
"Isn't it though? I learned from my boyfriend."
Changmin started laughing. "Shut up, you ass."
Yunho laughed softly along with him, his voice sounding deep and warm. There was a comfortable silence, and Changmin knew this was the perfect time to ask Yunho about yesterday, but Yunho seemed so happy and he didn't want to ruin the mood. Curiosity overcame his good sense though.
"So, Yunho," he started hesitantly.
Yunho picked up on his tone and said gently, "What is it?"
"Um. About yesterday morning. Was school really why you were unhappy?"
Changmin felt the change in Yunho's mood, like as if the temperature had dropped several degrees. He instantly regretted opening his mouth; he had completely ruined their good mood. "Don't worry about that, it's nothing," Yunho said tersely.
"You know you can talk to me, right?" Changmin said, unable to hold back and slightly disappointed that Yunho would keep something hidden from him. He understood that he wasn't entitled to know every thought Yunho had, but this seemed too important to ignore.
"Yes, I know. Really, it was nothing, you don't need to worry about it."
"Are you sure?" Changmin pressed. "Only-"
"For fuck's sake, Changmin, leave it alone! I'll tell you when I'm ready!" Yunho burst, stunning Changmin speechless.
There was nothing but the sound of Yunho's heavy breathing for a minute. Changmin didn't know what he could possibly say to that, so he said nothing. He could feel the hurt at Yunho's blunt words lacing through him, could feel it squeezing his heart and pushing at his eyes till they were wet with tears, but he held them back with all of his will, refusing to cry and seem weak in front of Yunho, or give him the satisfaction of knowing he affected Changmin so. He bit his lips hard, and still said nothing.
Finally, after what felt like ages, Yunho sighed. Usually when he sighed that way he was running a hand through his hair, and for a second Changmin hated that he knew that.
"Look, I- I have to go. I'll call you tomorrow. Good night." His voice was stilted, something he had rarely heard from Yunho, and never directed towards him. Changmin hated it.
"Good night," Changmin said quietly. His voice was weak and pathetic, but he didn't care, wanting nothing more than to just hang up. So he did.
He stared at his phone. What the fuck was that?
web counter
Pairing: Yunho/Changmin
Words: 5,060
Beta: chibisuz <3
Warnings: none
Notes: Well! It's been forever! Sorry ^^;; Updates will be more regular now that college is over :D
Comments are love ^^
A few days before Christmas, the morning dawned bright and cold, a crispness to the air that made Changmin feel alive. Snow was scattered all over the ground, piled high on the sides of the roads and parking lots. Trees drooped with the burden of the flakes, branches reaching towards the ground. It was a breathtaking scene. Changmin gazed at it, sunglasses perched on his nose to shield against the dazzling snow and shivering despite his warm parka and scarf.
By the time he was all packed up and ready to go, Yunho was done with one final and still had one left. He came to see Changmin off as he was getting the last of his things into his car. Without a word, he hugged Changmin when he turned around, burying his face in Changmin’s neck. Changmin smiled and wrapped his arms around his neck, breathing in the nectarine scent of Yunho’s shampoo.
“Why are you leaving me,” Yunho said, his voice muffled.
Changmin stroked his hair. “I’m not leaving you. I’m going home.”
Yunho looked up and pouted. “Without me.”
“You can come, if you want to meet my parents,” Changmin teased.
A mock look of horror crossed Yunho’s face, and Changmin laughed. Yunho took the opportunity to kiss his jaw, and then lifted Changmin’s sunglasses off his face and into his hair. “Okay, you can go without me.”
Changmin kissed him, Yunho’s lips soft and yielding under his. His mouth opened to allow Changmin’s probing tongue in, and Changmin slipped in eagerly. Yunho’s previously cold lips began to warm between his. As much as he would have loved to keep nibbling Yunho’s soft lips, he pulled away reluctantly.
Yunho took his hand in his, entwining their fingers together. “I won’t see you for an entire month,” he said softly. He sounded genuinely disappointed about it. Changmin smiled and bopped his red nose.
“We’ll talk every day. Do you think you can get rid of me so easily?”
Yunho smiled, though there wasn’t much warmth in it. “I would never want to get rid of you,” he said, leaning in to nuzzle his cheek. “Besides, it won’t be the same.”
“We can Skype. You’ll see me every day then,” Changmin said.
“It still won’t be the same,” Yunho said, wrapping his arms around Changmin and beginning to rock them from side to side, his chin on Changmin’s shoulder and nose in his neck. It was cold, and Changmin shivered involuntarily. Yunho kissed his neck in apology. Their huge winter jackets were preventing them from getting close enough.
Changmin let himself be rocked. Yunho didn’t look very happy, and although Changmin had been hoping for some sort of sign that he would be missed, he hadn’t expected it to be so obvious. Now that he had his sign, though, he didn’t want Yunho to be unhappy. “Hey,” he said, nudging Yunho’s temple with his nose.
“Mmm?” Yunho didn’t lift his head, but cocked it to show he was listening.
“Stop being a crybaby.”
Yunho snorted. “I’m not crying.”
“You sound like you’re five seconds from it.”
“Am not.”
“Are too.”
Yunho lifted his head and scowled at him. “You’re wasting our precious kissing time with your pointless arguing,” he informed Changmin.
Changmin laughed, hugging him closer and kissing him again and again.
When he drew apart, he murmured, “I really have to go now.”
Yunho sighed. “I know. Sorry.”
Yunho gave him a final chaste kiss and then let him go. “You’re going to talk to me everyday,” he said, and then corrected himself. “No, every hour. Okay? Okay.”
Changmin smiled at him, but didn’t go in for another kiss. He’d never leave at that rate.
Yunho turned him around and wrapped his arms around his waist, and then walked him to the car door, opening it for him and waiting for him to get in before shutting it. “Text me when you get home, okay? Drive safe.”
“I will,” Changmin said, settling himself. Kyuhyun had borrowed his car the other night, and always had to adjust the seat and the mirrors to accommodate his shorter-than-Changmin’s height. It both amused and annoyed Changmin in equal measure.
Yunho was standing behind the car now, hands tucked in his pockets and nose buried in his scarf. He looked like a turtle.
Changmin looked into the rearview mirror. He turned around in his seat to wave goodbye, and Yunho smiled and waved back. With a final glance through the rearview mirror, Changmin drove away.
Keeping one eye on the road and the other on the mirror though, Changmin couldn’t help but think that Yunho looked somehow...sad. He looked lonely and tiny in Changmin’s mirror, and the further away he got, the more he couldn’t help but think that he had just missed something very important, something that completely flew over his head.
His stomach felt funny just looking at the rear view mirror; he didn’t like the feeling in his gut.
The feeling wouldn’t go away all the way on the ride home.
***
As he promised Yunho, he sent him a text to let him know he had arrived home safely. Yunho sent him a quick text in reply, and then Changmin went inside to greet his family. As soon as he was in the door, his mother was squashing him to herself, tears in her eyes as she hugged him and cried about how happy she was to see her son. Changmin smiled and hugged her back tightly, kissing her forehead. She finally released him to let him hug his dad, who smiled warmly at him, his eyes crinkled, and then his younger sisters, Sooyeon and Jiyeon. Sooyeon was a year younger than Changmin, while Jiyeon was 15. He ruffled their hair, something he knew they hated and so of course did even more. They pushed his hands away and complained about Oppa is always ruining our hair! But they hugged him tight anyway, both of them kissing each cheek.
He had been a little upset about leaving Yunho, but now seeing his family happy and fussing over him, his heart warmed all over again and he was glad to be home.
When he had unpacked his car and settled into his room properly, he came downstairs to find his mother had cooked nothing less than a feast, and he dug in with enthusiasm. He chatted with his family, talking about grades and catching up on all the latest family gossip, who had had a baby and which cousin was causing what scandal.
When they finished finished up with dinner and cleaning the kitchen, Changmin went to put his gifts for his family under the tree, and then they all sat around. The conversation was easy and flowed, and Changmin soon found himself lulled to sleep by the sound of their quiet murmuring.
He hadn’t realized he had been dozing until Sooyeon was shaking him awake, telling him to go to bed. He nodded sleepily and went upstairs, bidding them all good night. It wasn’t until he was all tucked into bed, feeling clean and warm, that he jolted upright.
He had completely forgotten to tell Kyuhyun about Yunho’s gift!
Scrambling out of bed, he turned on his phone only to drop it and let out a small yelp of surprise when the brightness of the screen nearly blinded him. Cursing under his breath, he groped on the floor for it and turned it on again, this time facing it away from him until his eyes adjusted.
He swiped it open and pulled up the contact list, and called Kyuhyun, despite it being after midnight. What are best friends for, after all.
The phone rang several times, and when Kyuhyun picked up, his voice was gruff and confused. “Hello?”
“Kyuhyun, it’s me,” Changmin said, feeling a little bad for waking him up. His best friend hadn’t gotten much sleep recently due to finals.
“Changmin?” He still sounded a little confused.
“Yeah, Kyuhyun, wake up, I need your help.”
That seemed to awaken him slightly. “Are you alright? What’s wrong?”
“Yeah, I’m fine, it’s just that I forgot to tell you about Yunho’s present,” Changmin replied, smiling slightly.
Kyuhyun groaned. “Ugh, that’s what you woke me up for?” There was a thump on the other line, as if he had face planted on his pillow.
“Sorry bro, I forgot to tell you before I left,” Changmin said apologetically.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Where is it?”
“It’s in my closet, but Kyuhyun, there’s two there, so make sure you don’t get the wrong one, okay?”
There was shuffling on the other line. “Fuck it’s cold,” Kyuhyun mumbled. There was some more shifting around, an oof! as he seemed to trip over over something, another curse, and then Kyuhyun said, “Which shelf?”
“All the way on top.”
Kyuhyun didn’t say anything for a few seconds. “I see it,” he said, but his words fell away into a yawn.
“Kyu make sure you get the flat one, not the box. Okay? Did you get the right one?”
Kyuhyun yawned loudly. “Yeah yeah, got it, flat box.”
“No, just the flat one!” Changmin nearly screeched. He did not want Yunho to see the picture frame, no matter what.
“Ugh, stop screeching in my ear, I got it,” Kyuhyun said, yawning yet again.
Changmin huffed. “I did not screech.”
“Whatever. Is that all? May I sleep now, sir?”
“Yupp, thanks a lot. Make sure you don’t forget it when you go home tomorrow though! I already put the address and everything on, you just have to drop it off at the post office, okay?”
“Got it. Night, Changmin.”
“Good night,” Changmin replied. He cut the line and then crawled into bed again, relieved at having remembered before it was too late.
His earlier nap had been a bad idea, though. He fidgeted in bed, turning this way and that, before giving it up for a bad job and reaching for his phone again.
He contemplated texting Yunho, but wasn’t sure if he’d be awake. Or free. Finals were such a cockblock.
Twirling his phone in hand, he thought about the way Yunho had looked when he had been leaving, so tiny and somehow sad. He tapped the phone against his teeth, making a clacking sound. Maybe he should call, just to check on him.
Sent to Man Candy 12:24 AM
Hey. Are you awake?
As always with Yunho, he hadn’t even put the phone down before he received a text.
Received from Man Candy 12:24 AM
yupp. im gonna call u
Changmin smiled and waited for Yunho to call. He picked up on the first ring. “Yunho.”
“Changminnie.” Yunho’s voice was warm.
Changmin settled back in his bed, leaning against the pillows stacked behind him and pulling the comfy duvet up to his chest. “What are you doing?” he asked softly, mindful of his sleeping family.
Yunho sighed. “Studying, what else.” The sound of shuffling papers and a textbook being snapped shut came through the line. Then Yunho made kitten like noises that Changmin knew meant he was stretching. When he was settled, his voice came back. “What are you doing?”
“Laying in bed. I took a nap earlier and now I can’t sleep.”
Yunho chuckled. “Aw poor baby,” he teased. “Guess you’ll have to stay up all night now.”
Changmin pouted. “Not funny.”
“Of course not,” Yunho agreed somberly.
Changmin rolled his eyes, and then got to business, hesitating only a bit. "So. Are you alright?"
There was a slight pause. "Why wouldn't I be?" Yunho sounded serious.
"Just, you seemed a little upset today," Changmin said cautiously.
"Of course I was upset. Everyone was leaving for Christmas and I was all alone." Changmin could bet his whole life that Yunho was pouting.
He noticed, though, that Yunho said everyone and not just Changmin. He tried not to feel too disappointed.
“You’ll be done soon,” he assured him, and then shifted in bed. “Is that really it, though?”
Yunho was quiet for a second, and then sighed. “I’m just tired. I’ll be fine in a few days. When I’m home.”
He didn’t sound like he himself was convinced. “But what’s wrong?” Changmin pressed.
Yunho made a frustrated sound. “Look, nothing, I’m just tired of studying.”
Yunho didn’t seem like he wanted to talk about it, and by all rights Changmin that was when should have stopped pressing him for details, but he couldn’t help himself; he had to know what had made Yunho look like that. He waited for a few seconds, and listened to Yunho shifting uncomfortably on the other line.
“So. How was your day?” Yunho said, voice too bright and too fake.
“Alright.”
“Was your family happy to see you?”
“Yeah, they were.”
There was another pause, and then, “Are you going to tell them about us?”
Changmin paused. He hadn’t thought about that at all. “Uh, I haven’t thought about it. Do you want me to?”
“No!” Yunho said, voice loud, and startled Changmin. Yunho seemed to realize how loud he was and lowered his voice. “I mean, no, I don’t think you should.”
Changmin hadn’t expected the sinking feeling in his gut, but when he noticed it, he hated it. Why didn’t Yunho want to share their relationship? “Why?” was the only word Changmin could get out. His voice cracked, though, and made him sound extra pathetic. He cleared his throat.
“Because. I mean, we haven’t been together all that long. Right?”
“I guess not,” Changmin said reluctantly.
“Yeah, so we should wait a bit.” Yunho sounded relieved.
“Okay,” Changmin said quietly, not at all liking Yunho’s tone and what it could possibly mean.
“Are you mad?” Yunho asked. Was Changmin just imagining it or did Yunho sound worried? Unwilling to let himself be falsely reassured, though, he passed it off as his imagination.
“No, you’re right, we haven’t been together long at all,” he replied, knowing it was the truth.
“Okay, that’s good.”
Another silence, and it frustrated Changmin to no end. What was wrong with them? He hadn’t had such a painfully awkward conversation with Yunho since their huge falling out months ago.
“You should go back to studying now,” he said, as much as it killed him to end the conversation.
Yunho, however, seemed to jump at the opportunity. “Yeah, good idea.”
Changmin smiled despite himself. “It’s your last one, right? What time?”
“Yupp. At eight. Then I can go home,” he said, voice bright. He seemed to be genuinely happy at the thought of home.
“Did you pack everything already?”
“Mostly, I just left some clothes and the bedding and bathroom things.”
“Bathroom things? How eloquent,” Changmin teased.
Yunho huffed. “I’m sorry not everyone can possess your articulateness.”
“That was pretty articulate,” he said, laughing.
“I think you’ve rubbed off on me,” Yunho said, sounding mildly surprised.
“Good, then I think by the time I’m done with you you’ll have the illusion of seeming infinitely smarter than you actually are,” Changmin said seriously.
“Hey! Whattaya mean illusion? I am smart!”
“If you have to tell someone you are, then you can’t be very much,” he said, enjoying the way he was riling Yunho up.
There was a pause in which he just knew Yunho was glaring and pouting at the phone. “Changminnie you’re really mean,” he whined.
“Mean? What are you, five?” Changmin said, barely containing his laughter.
“Whatever. I’m not talking to you anymore,” Yunho said petulantly.
Changmin let his laughter loose, in a quiet sort of way, because his family was still asleep. It was a good few minutes when he finally got it under control, bursts of giggles still escaping despite his best efforts to stop them.
“Are you quite done?” Yunho said, sounding annoyed.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I don’t mean that, I know you’re smart. It’s just fun to tease you,” Changmin said, chuckling.
“I gathered,” Yunho sniffed. “Alright, I really have to go now.”
“Okay, have fun studying.”
“Now you’re just mocking me.”
“I would never,” Changmin said, his voice appropriately offended.
“Uh huh.” Yunho didn’t believe him, of course. He knew Changmin. “Good night, pretty baby.”
“Good night,” he replied softly.
Yunho made a kissing sound through the phone, which made Changmin laugh, but when Yunho insisted he do it too, he did.
After Yunho hung up, he sat there staring at his phone. Their conversation had ended on a lighter note than it had started, for which Changmin was grateful, but it hadn’t distracted him. If anything, it made it even more painfully obvious that something was not quite right with Yunho. He hoped it was just exam blues like he had said, but something told him it wasn’t. Something was wrong, and Changmin would find out for sure, even if he had to pry it out of his boyfriend.
***
The next day passed by lazily. Changmin got out of bed at 11, and then spent the rest of the morning and afternoon eating and playing video games on his home system. His parents were at the main Shim store, so it left his sisters to converse with. Sooyeon was on break from her first year of college, and Jiyeon had a week off from her high school. They weren’t bad company, and occasionally indulged him by playing with him, even though Changmin always destroyed them without mercy.
“So, Oppa.” Sooyeon was eyeing him over the top of her book.
Changmin glanced at her, and then back to the television. That tone was enough warning that Sooyeon was about to tread into dangerous waters, so he tried to brace himself. “What?”
“Have you found anyone yet?”
Jiyeon looked up from her phone in interest.
Of course. Blunt, that one was, and much too nosy. She and Changmin were almost the same age, so he had always been more comfortable with her compared to his youngest sister. Sometimes Changmin thought Sooyeon understood him better than even their own parents. He supposed it helped that she always wanted to know everything that was happening, whether it had anything to do with her or not. Her nosiness and observant personality were a lethal combination. In fact, two years ago, she had been the first to notice something was amiss, and bought it to their parent’s attention. Changmin had wanted to strangle her at the time, but now he was sort of grateful.
Changmin rolled his eyes. “Found anyone? Really? How old are you, exactly?”
Sooyeon threw a balled up piece of paper at him. Changmin glared at her when it hit his cheek, but she just smiled beatifically. “Just answer the question.”
“Nothing serious,” he said, keeping his eyes on the screen as he gutted another alien through the stomach. He was careful not to look at her, because she had the uncanny ability to know when he was lying.
“Oh really?” she asked, sounding suspicious.
“Yeah, really.”
“Nothing serious? Then there’s something, at least?” she pressed, not letting it go.
Damn. He was hoping his white lie would assuage her, but of course it didn't.
“Oppa has a boyfriend?” Jiyeon asked, perking up.
“No, I don’t, go back to your phone,” he said, glaring at her. He wasn’t so bad an older brother that he would talk about casual sex with his 15-year-old sister. That’s not what he had with Yunho, of course, but he was going to have to pretend if he wanted to throw Sooyeon off his trail.
He looked at Sooyeon and tried to make it as meaningful a look as he could, hoping she’d get the point, and it seemed she did, because she backed off. Jiyeon looked between the two of them with her bottom lip caught between her teeth and her brow furrowed, Sooyeon reading her book and Changmin pretending to focus on his game, and then settled back, grumbling. “You guys never tell me anything.”
Changmin glanced behind him to see her pouting cutely, and grinned before going back to his game.
They sat in silence for a while, and then Changmin said, “And you guys? Have you ‘found anyone’?” He didn’t need to make air quotes for Sooyeon to get that he was teasing her.
She looked up with a glare. “No, but Jiyeon has.”
He turned around to look at her, to see Jiyeon looking horrified. “Unnie, you promised not to tell anyone!”
“No, I promised not to tell Mom and Dad,” Sooyeon corrected, looking smug.
“Aren’t you too young to have a boyfriend?” Changmin cut in before Jiyeon could say something back. The youngest Shim was quite argumentative, and he would rather avoid a squabble between the two of them right now.
"I'm fifteen!" she said, sounding scandalized.
"That's pretty young," he said mildly.
"No it's not," she said heatedly. "I'm only a year younger than you were when you had your first boyfriend!"
The words seemed to slip from her mouth before they caught up with her brain, and when they did her eyes widened almost comically. She bought a hand up to her mouth, as if to stop the words from escaping, but it was too late, of course.
Changmin turned back to his game, but not before catching Sooyeon's wide-eyed expression, body tense. Changmin's ex was never mentioned in their house. It had been Changmin's problem, but had affected their entire household so drastically that his family hardly even acknowledged that Changmin had even had a boyfriend. Any mentions in his presence by his big mouthed youngest sister, by accident of course, were quickly shut down, and the subject was swiftly changed by their parents.
"I'm sorry, Oppa," Jiyeon whispered, sounding horrified.
It was her whispered, innocent words that calmed him. He smiled and looked at her so she would see. "It's alright. You're telling the truth, anyway. I was 16."
Her small shoulders sagged in relief. From the corner of his eyes he could see Sooyeon relax visibly, even though she looked slightly surprised.
"But I was still a year older than you," he continued. "A year makes a huge difference."
"I suppose," Jiyeon said reluctantly.
"So you shouldn't let it get too serious," he said, fixing her with a pointed stare.
Jiyeon stared back in confusion, but when her cheeks started to color Changmin knew she understood. "Yes, Oppa," she said quietly.
"Good," he said, and focused on his game again.
He thought about how a simple mention of his ex used to make him freeze up, and how irrational fear would run through his veins. He remembered how weak and pathetic it made him feel, how much he hated it. Now, he realized he had come quite a long way. Not only did he not feel fear at the mention of that asshole, but he was also able to acknowledge what had happened in front of his family, something he hadn't been able to do in these two years.
Even that incident at the bar. He didn't know how the Changmin from a year ago would have reacted, but he knew he had handled that better than he could have under other circumstances. Maybe a younger Changmin would have run screaming from the club, but he hadn't, and he realized he was quite proud of himself for that. His friends and Yunho, he suspected, played no small part in his confidence. He didn't know where he would be without the constant comfort and reassurance that was Kyuhyun's friendship, or the steady courage and presence Yunho had provided. Even Heechul the ass had been comforting and encouraging.
Yes, Changmin mused, he had come quite far, and he had several people to thank for that.
When their parents came back from work hours later, Changmin and his sisters prepared dinner while forcing their parents to relax. Changmin bossed them around and made them do the small things, like bringing him ingredients and setting the table, just because he could. His sisters grumbled the entire time, and he was sure he heard Sooyeon saying something about "Bossy McBossypants", but they listened anyway.
His parents complimented his cooking when they sat around the dining table for dinner, and he preened under their praise while smiling smugly at his sisters. Jiyeon broke in to say she had helped too, thank you very much, to which his mother said "Of course, dear, we know what a great helper you are," but Jiyeon didn't look very mollified. Even she with her air headed tendencies knew when she was being patronized.
After dinner they lounged around in the living room, making small talk while Jiyeon watched a music show. She was making googly eyes at some of the idols, but Sooyeon would look up occasionally from her novel and roll her eyes at Jiyeon's cooing.
Changmin raised an eyebrow at her. "Not interested?"
She scoffed. "The idol industry is over saturated with talentless pretty boys and girls who are only there to look pretty while shaking their butts, plastic dolls, and abusive working conditions. It turns one off the pretty lights and makeup," she sniffed haughtily.
Changmin rolled his eyes harder. "Just enjoy the music, you prude."
Sooyeon gave him the finger, hiding it by her book so their parents wouldn't see, and went back to reading.
Their parents went to bed early, being exhausted from working overtime to straighten things out at the main store before taking a break for the holidays.
Changmin made his break too, calling goodnight to his sisters and escaping to his room. Sooyeon watched him go with narrowed eyes, and he knew she was going to pull it out of him before the break ended. He thumped his head against the door and sighed. Oh well.
When he was done with his nightly ablutions and settled in bed again, he called Yunho. His boyfriend must have gotten home by now; he knew Gwangju was a long way from Seoul, but he had had the entire day to finish packing and get home.
Yunho didn't pick up the first time, and when Changmin called again ten minutes later, he picked up on the third ring.
"Changminnie!" Yunho's voice was a little loud and very bright. It made Changmin flinch, even as his insides warmed at the familiar voice.
"Hi Yunho."
"How are you, baby?" He sounded so cheerful it was making Changmin smile like a lunatic.
"Just fine. What are you so happy about?" he asked, knowing Yunho wouldn't be offended by his word choice.
Yunho laughed. "I'm just happy to see my family. I didn't realize how much I had missed being home."
"That's nice. Were they happy to see you?" Changmin teased.
Yunho scoffed. "Of course they were. I'm their beloved, genius, handsome, heir to the Jung law offices."
"Meh, I don't know about genius and handsome. I think it's just because you're the heir," Changmin said silkily, trying to sound nonchalant.
"Excuse you, they love me," Yunho said, and Changmin could almost see the way Yunho would be scowling.
Changmin laughed. "Yes, I'm sure they do," he said softly. "How were your finals?"
Yunho brightened again. "Good! I'm just glad they're over, to be honest."
"Me too," Changmin murmured. "You're quite the pain in the ass when you're stressed."
"Yes, I suppose that much sex must be painful for you," Yunho said seriously, and Changmin had to pause for a moment to understand what he said.
When he finally recognized the double meaning behind his own words, he didn't know whether to laugh or roll his eyes at Yunho's lameness, so he settled for both. "God, Yunho, you're so lame," he said.
Yunho laughed. "I know you love my lameness. It's why you're still with me," he said, as if he was confiding a secret.
"I'm sure that's because of your cock."
"Well that too, my cock is pretty magnificent."
"Wow, your modesty is astounding."
"Isn't it though? I learned from my boyfriend."
Changmin started laughing. "Shut up, you ass."
Yunho laughed softly along with him, his voice sounding deep and warm. There was a comfortable silence, and Changmin knew this was the perfect time to ask Yunho about yesterday, but Yunho seemed so happy and he didn't want to ruin the mood. Curiosity overcame his good sense though.
"So, Yunho," he started hesitantly.
Yunho picked up on his tone and said gently, "What is it?"
"Um. About yesterday morning. Was school really why you were unhappy?"
Changmin felt the change in Yunho's mood, like as if the temperature had dropped several degrees. He instantly regretted opening his mouth; he had completely ruined their good mood. "Don't worry about that, it's nothing," Yunho said tersely.
"You know you can talk to me, right?" Changmin said, unable to hold back and slightly disappointed that Yunho would keep something hidden from him. He understood that he wasn't entitled to know every thought Yunho had, but this seemed too important to ignore.
"Yes, I know. Really, it was nothing, you don't need to worry about it."
"Are you sure?" Changmin pressed. "Only-"
"For fuck's sake, Changmin, leave it alone! I'll tell you when I'm ready!" Yunho burst, stunning Changmin speechless.
There was nothing but the sound of Yunho's heavy breathing for a minute. Changmin didn't know what he could possibly say to that, so he said nothing. He could feel the hurt at Yunho's blunt words lacing through him, could feel it squeezing his heart and pushing at his eyes till they were wet with tears, but he held them back with all of his will, refusing to cry and seem weak in front of Yunho, or give him the satisfaction of knowing he affected Changmin so. He bit his lips hard, and still said nothing.
Finally, after what felt like ages, Yunho sighed. Usually when he sighed that way he was running a hand through his hair, and for a second Changmin hated that he knew that.
"Look, I- I have to go. I'll call you tomorrow. Good night." His voice was stilted, something he had rarely heard from Yunho, and never directed towards him. Changmin hated it.
"Good night," Changmin said quietly. His voice was weak and pathetic, but he didn't care, wanting nothing more than to just hang up. So he did.
He stared at his phone. What the fuck was that?
web counter