Valintines Day is For Singles Too
Alright all you butt sniffers. I've heard a lot of whining and bitching about being single this time of year again and it's starting to piss me off (not really, but let's play along so it's humorous) and I needed to make another ADVICE FOR V-DAY post so here it is fellows of mine, Things for Singles to do on V-Day
Step 1)
You need to gather all your other sappy, depressed, to lazy to get even a date friends and get together, 1 car load of people would be optimal (carpool, it's energy saving....yeah go tree huggers!)
Once you're all together I suggest you all have dinner or lunch (depending on the time of departure) together some place nice that everyone can afford. This is to take care of the feeling with "I'm a dude hanging out with other dudes on v-day" feeling. Chances are unless you're really hung up on being single sucks (and you only think that way if you've been single all your life....being single is a treat!) you'll have forgotten all about the holiday in general. Good times comes in one of those 18 flavors of Samuel Adams (not really)
Step 2)
The real fun begins. Now that there are chances of everyone in the group over 21 being a little tanked it's time to do yourself some real good on v-day. This is what I like to call Remind yourself why it's good to be single.
You and all your friends should either a) roll and egg all the houses of bitch past girlfriends/boyfriends that any of you have had. Nothing says your a bitch by ruining his or her chances of getting laid if the date ends up at the house. This might also save the bitch's date, because in the time it takes to clean off the house he/she might realize the bitch is a stupid hoe and go get VD from someone who'll at least treat them nicely. You get what you pay for you know.
All the while when the lot of you are driving from location to location you need to be telling the story of why so and so is a bitch and also reinforcing sex stores is good here, but only if said bitch is nasty meaning a) smells funny b) full of diseases or c) they have both parts....and forgot to tell you
Step 3)
By now it's getting pretty late so this will probably be the last planned activity that I can suggest for you and that'd be this. Get your asses wasted because by now all my non-degree therapy isn't working, and that means the ass lot of you are feeling even more sorry for yourselves because you're single on v-day. Like that means something. Not likely.
Either way, have a Happy V-Day because without commercialism it's just another damned day.
Step 1)
You need to gather all your other sappy, depressed, to lazy to get even a date friends and get together, 1 car load of people would be optimal (carpool, it's energy saving....yeah go tree huggers!)
Once you're all together I suggest you all have dinner or lunch (depending on the time of departure) together some place nice that everyone can afford. This is to take care of the feeling with "I'm a dude hanging out with other dudes on v-day" feeling. Chances are unless you're really hung up on being single sucks (and you only think that way if you've been single all your life....being single is a treat!) you'll have forgotten all about the holiday in general. Good times comes in one of those 18 flavors of Samuel Adams (not really)
Step 2)
The real fun begins. Now that there are chances of everyone in the group over 21 being a little tanked it's time to do yourself some real good on v-day. This is what I like to call Remind yourself why it's good to be single.
You and all your friends should either a) roll and egg all the houses of bitch past girlfriends/boyfriends that any of you have had. Nothing says your a bitch by ruining his or her chances of getting laid if the date ends up at the house. This might also save the bitch's date, because in the time it takes to clean off the house he/she might realize the bitch is a stupid hoe and go get VD from someone who'll at least treat them nicely. You get what you pay for you know.
All the while when the lot of you are driving from location to location you need to be telling the story of why so and so is a bitch and also reinforcing sex stores is good here, but only if said bitch is nasty meaning a) smells funny b) full of diseases or c) they have both parts....and forgot to tell you
Step 3)
By now it's getting pretty late so this will probably be the last planned activity that I can suggest for you and that'd be this. Get your asses wasted because by now all my non-degree therapy isn't working, and that means the ass lot of you are feeling even more sorry for yourselves because you're single on v-day. Like that means something. Not likely.
Either way, have a Happy V-Day because without commercialism it's just another damned day.