stuDYING
I am so close to giving up, mainly because i can't keep up with everything...?
I thought about doing my best, but heck, all people ever do is to mention how bad you are at something, so why bother???
I thought about doing my best, and i actually did. Once, or twice. It felt nice. It felt great to pour a lot of effort into something, into whatever task you were given. Sure it's tiring, but when people appreciates it, it's worth it.
But people don't always appreciate the small things. Small thing like how you didn't have your good night sleep just for some task, small thing like how you had to sacrifice your time to finish something, small thing like how you tried your best to stay positive for some task, small things, small things.
So i thought about giving up.
I thought about giving. Once, twice, or thrice.
i thought about giving up. About my studies. About trying hard. About giving my best shot.
But then, along with that thought came the image of those children who can't even afford what i have even if they give their best shot. Along the thought of giving up, came the image of my mom working hard abroad just to give me what she didn't have;what she knows i need for my better future. Along the thought of giving up came the voices of the people who cheered, and cheers for me not to give up. Along the thought of giving up came the conviction that I should still strive and work hard.
I thought about giving up, but I realized that giving up won't satisfy me, nor anyone. It's a lose-lose.
Hence, i am thinking of giving it my all, again. Even if no one appreciates it. For i know that someday, someday, i hope, it will be paid off. (trying to be optimistic here haha)
Tomorrow, I will do better and surpass who i was today.
To you, my dear tomodachi, i hope you too won't give up ʕ•ٹ•ʔ I wish you great luck in whatever you're doing right now and in whatever your situation is right now~
love and cheers,
Jia ♡