「Eternal Bond With A Guardian Angel」《Chapter 3 - We Are Alike》
Title:: Eternal Bond With A Guardian Angel
Pairing:: Ohno Satoshi/Ninomiya Kazunari
Genre:: royalty!au, slavery!au, angst, romance, drama
Lenght:: chaptered
Word Count:: 4205 words
Rating:: PG-13
Note:: this is a remastered version of the posted and unfinished fic, The Days Became A Story.
Summary:: Centuries ago, the country was controlled by Lords who used slaves for multiple tasts. As they weren't considered as humans, they could be tortured and raped that no one would stop them. And in the middle of that, Ninomiya Kazunari was sold to Lord Imada, having to live the worst of the worst in order to survive another day. Until his execution for rebellion arrived and unexpectedly, his guardian angel appeared to save and protect him from that world full of despicable monsters. No matter if after falling in love with him would mean to have to pay a big price.
We Are Alike
The days were going by slowly and Ninomiya's condition was getting better thanks to his Lord's help - all the medicaments he could take and food he could eat, also proper nights along with warmth and hygiene. Besides, while Ninomiya was recovering in his room, Ohno sometimes went to his room to apply the ointment on his back carefully and make the slave fulfil his demand of talking with him by asking him questions of every subject, but lately he was focusing in one for some reason Ninomiya ignored.
The Lord only asked random questions about the past of the young man or his likes and dislikes. Kazunari answered briefly, because he did not feel at ease telling his childhood and giving to his Lord every detail he wanted. Indeed, the slave did not want to talk about those hurtful moments, mainly because he wondered why it had to end or why he could not go back and live it once more. So when he had to explain his childhood with his parents and his brother, his eyes were wet. He had tried to hide them the best he could and if Ohno had discovered him, he had not said anything.
Regarding his Lord, Ninomiya had not dared to ask him after all. When a person asked him too much, he wanted information of them as well and that was what was happening to the slave. Maybe Ohno's treatment made him adopt a nice behaviour instead of the slave one and many questions appeared in his mind about the Lord. Stupid ones, but somehow he really wanted to know where he was born, or if he had still family, or what he liked to eat or do during his free time. It was not important stuff, he just wanted to know a bit more about the man who saved him and who was taking care of him so much.
Nevertheless, the day when the slave recovered completely arrived, and right after getting the approbation of Sho, Ohno decided to start to treat him as his slave to work finally and not as an injured person who he had to help anymore. His behaviour did not change as such, but the orders were different and harder. Even stranger. It was the first time he received some of them and of course he doubted sometimes if he was joking or not. Unluckily, Lord Ohno never joked and Ninomiya always thought his Lord ended up being angry with him for not believing his words. However, it was just his coldness which confused him, who was used to a natural warmth coming from his gentle words or nice behaviour.
The Lord did not talk about himself, not even a single bit, but his actions revealed his likes and dislikes in the moment Ninomiya saw him daily. Every time they went through a hallway, Ohno admired the beautiful paintings placed on the walls with an amazing sense of style. Then, the slave stared at some of them, trying to understand their meaning or get what he was trying to represent in them, but he was never able to completely decipher anyone. What he realized was that in a corner, there was a name written on all of them.
Satoshi...
His Lord was the painter of every drawing in that mansion, which was not small, finding several pieces of art in each room. And although he understood nothing of painting, Ninomiya could feel a sense of nostalgia and loneliness coming from them. Even despair or rage in a few ones placed in hidden rooms. Every one of them was about dead nature and sad people working in exchange for nothing. Many times, Ohno had to call him twice because the slave could not stop looking at them, feeling identified with those dark emotions. Really connecting so well with what Ohno wanted to draw there.
The young man sometimes thought that maybe they were alike. Perhaps their sorrows and insecurities were alike. Because when his eyes met his Lord's, he could see the same cry for help inside of them. How even his face tried to be inexpressive, his eyes were the door to watch their own souls and see maybe they were different because of their status, but inside, they followed the same pattern. And he could understand that feeling even more the day he went outside with Ohno through the garden to walk a bit and do some tasks at the same time. The Lord ordered him to work in the farmlands behind the mansion, planting potato and tomato seeds along with more slaves he started to know finally.
After a few hours working, his back started to hurt due to the ribs which were still healing under the doctor's supervision yet. Then, once Ninomiya looked up to dry his sweat, he saw how Ohno appeared to observe how he was working and sat on a near bench to watch his job carefully. Ninomiya was nervous thanks to his Lord's gaze staring at every move he made. Somehow, it was like if every mistake he could do would be checked by him.
What surprised him the most was that there were more people to check too, but Ohno mainly focused on him. Almost ten more slaves were working with him too and only once, Ohno changed his gaze. Suddenly, one of them, who was working without showing any pain, fell over the ground as if he had almost fainted and Ninomiya ran to help him to stand up again because the man seemed ill or at least so tired. The boy was really worried as long as that man was already old and maybe he was hurt from the fall. However, a shout stopped him in a second.
“Ninomiya! Leave him do it alone!” the Lord yelled at him rudely, almost angry and although he did not want to obey, he turned around to continue his task as the old man stood up alone after looking really weak in his steps and moves and went back to his work. “Nobisuke, are you alright?” the Lord asked the man coldly, his face showing no expression, and the slave smiled nodding and bowing politely and gratefully. The slave, instead, watched the scene surprised and he glanced at his Lord who was looking at the man since he fell.
Can a Lord be a good person...?
*****
The journey on the farmland had ended after long hours under the hot sun and the slaves went to a near river where they washed their bodies and clothes after working with the ground. They could have nice rooms and a proper treatment there, but obviously, they could not have more as bathrooms as long as their were simple slaves. That was why there were a lot of people inside the river - some were naked not caring what genre they were; they only needed fresh water to wash their dirty skins and feel like humans again.
Different from them, Ninomiya never undressed himself, he did it under his clothes as he could not to show all the marks he had because he was really ashamed of that. Besides, his clothes would get wet and the long path back to the mansion would dry them. Surprisingly, during it, the man who fell, Nobisuke, approached him with a warm smile, wanting to tell him something, so Ninomiya got closer too to listen to him.
“Boy, thank you for trying to help me” he caught Ninomiya's hand to shake it as thank you and the young man returned a shy smile. “You know, I'm so ill and sometimes I lose all my strength. Lord Ohno told me to stop working and live my last years in calm here, but my life belongs to my Lord so I'm still under his orders. No matter how many times I fall, he only asks me if I'm okay and continues respecting my last wish. So don't think he's a bad person, please” the man told Ninomiya all of that with a husky voice, highlighting his weak health, and the latter was totally shocked of hearing that. So indeed, below that cold mask he showed to everyone - except to Ninomiya for some strange reason -, there was a nice person who cared about the poorest people, exactly as he did with him too when he arrived. Then, he looked around and Ninomiya realized for first time, everyone was showing happy faces after a hard day, but no one was suffering there a hell. They were treated as humans.
After, the young man said him goodbye and returned at the mansion by himself to think alone about what he had discovered that evening. He could not stop thinking about the story Nobisuke had told him. That was helping him to see the Lord in other nicer way. Until that day, he had been so reticent and suspicious to believe his gentle actions such as taking care of him, because after all it came from a Lord and he did not have good experiences with them, but now he was accepting the fact that maybe Ohno was different. Perhaps Lord Ohno was a good person acting as a cold Lord just to shut the village up and not to spread unnecessary rumours. What fixed in his mind so much that he found himself believing in his Lord a bit more.
That was why when he came back to his room, Lord Ohno was waiting for him in front of the door and his mood was not that defensive anymore. Ninomiya was getting used to do it because almost every night Ohno did his interrogatory after the whole tiring day. So he opened the door and both came inside to have that daily conversation. Ninomiya sat over his bed and Ohno stayed in his chair as always. Then, the boy waited for his first question.
“How was your first day working in the farmland?” Ohno tilted a bit his head, awaiting his answer because everyday Ninomiya could give him a different reply and the Lord felt so amused by that.
“It was nice” he answered briefly as always, not wanting to give too many details, and abruptly Ohno burst into laughs, leaving the boy amazed in front of him.
“Working six hours under the sun can't be nice” he replied looking amused at the slave not believing his words. But who was not believing the other was Kazunari who wondered why he thought like that if the rest of Lords made them work more than ten or twelves hours per day and said they were being nice with them. And that made him remember again how gentle Ohno was inside.
“Might I ask you a question, my Lord?” surprisingly, his mouth spoke without thinking, just speaking naturally because he knew Ohno would take it correctly. He allowed him with a nod and after gulping, he proceeded. “Why are you so cold in front of everyone, but here you laugh naturally?” his eyes were raised to find a surprised gaze staring at him. For first time, Ninomiya handled it and they remained looking at each other as the Lord answered him.
“Let’s say...” he rested his head over the wall, losing his gaze in the nowhere, seeming hesitant. “...that we are alike...” he smiled tilting his head slightly as Ninomiya's eyes widened.
Why do we both think the same?
His mind only wondered that over and over again, how was that possible? He wanted to know the details, in what they looked alike, why they felt it at the same time. He had so many questions he needed to speak up and hear Ohno’s answers. But his nervousness impeded him to talk anything else, just remaining in silence as his face showed the mess he was inside. Acting a bit because he realized Ohno would be able to read his expression, the slave yawned rubbing his eyes and Ohno smiled with a sad gaze.
“Sleep, today was hard. Good job” the Lord said with soft voice and stood up to leave the room in silent as Ninomiya stayed on the bed still, looking at the door for several minutes with his thoughts being a completely mess, not knowing what had just happened. In the end, without thinking, just moving by inertia, his body was dropped over the bed being defeated to sleep and forget everything. He needed not to think for a while. He really needed to erase Ohno from his brain for just a second.
*****
A few days after, Sakurai Sho went to see how his ribs were, almost finalizing the treatment already. Kazunari undressed the shirt as always, after having gotten used in front of the doctor, and Sho examined his torso with his hands carefully. Meanwhile he looked around, finding the room empty; that time, they were alone because Ohno had to do some important duties so the doctor came first. However, due to that coincidence, Sakurai took advantage of the situation and he dared to ask what even Nino did not know and left him frozen.
“Do you like your Lord?” Sakurai spoke innocently, acting as if that question was not important, and his eyes were raised to look at Ninomiya, who was breathless. “It’s not my business, I know, but you're a slave. I don't mind that, but everyone in the village does. Be careful” he smiled encouraging his feelings even if the boy had not had the chance to answer because he was speechless in front of the doctor. Those which Ninomiya thought they did not exist. Those which were there, but the slave refused to believe. It was the first time they appeared thanks to Sho's words and nothing could hurt more than an one-side love with one of the most important Lords of his country, so he decided to hide them until he would die. No mattering who would try to discover them.
“Doctor” he called him with the calmest voice he could use. “Why do you say that?” Ninomiya asked knowing that he had a reason and he wanted to know it as well. Although he knew it would not be as easy as asking it, he tried, just in case Sakurai would actually tell him. Ohno and he really seemed close as friends, so Ninomiya had a small hope.
“I want Satoshi to be the person he is instead of the person everyone expects. And I want you to help him” he said while catching his bag to go already as the slave got dressed again, maybe because he had given him too much information already, but Ninomiya was stubborn.
“I’m a simple slave, what can I-?”
“Haven’t you noticed that you are more than his slave?” he asked, amused by his lost face and he exclaimed. “Of course you don't!” he smiled. “Then, let me tell you he cares about you more than about himself...” he giggled and turned around to leave the room as his ears heard the young man's questions, who could not believe what he was listening that day.
“What am I for him?” he needed to know. He really needed to know that, he would repeat it thousands of times until getting an answer, but the doctor remained silent as he stopped beside the door because someone opened it abruptly, his Lord appearing with cold expression. Had he heard them?
“My slave” Ohno answered rudely instead of Sho, who was frowning as he was regretting the wrong timing. Ninomiya was pale, looking at the Lord wanting the ground to swallow him quickly. Of course he had heard them. He had heard everything possibly.
“He's totally recovered, Satoshi” Sho muttered with his head lowered, knowing he had messed it up too much than what he expected, and the Lord did not look at him, his eyes were fixed in his slave. Actually, that froze him more than anything else, because he had never seen him like that before. His eyes were piercing his soul, destroying his security and creating a big fear inside of him. All of that just with his intense gaze.
“Okay. Now, get out of here” his voice was cold, rude, huskier than normal, and Sakurai bowed to end his job there and close the door, leaving Ninomiya alone in front of a lion which was about to eat him. The Lord walked until the bed as Ninomiya thought that he had lost everything there because of that question which seemed forbidden between them.
“My Lord... It's not-“
“Shut up” he was angry and raised his voice for a second, intimidating the slave until making him lower his head. Ninomiya was feeling another punishment really near, but this time he did care if he had it, because somehow he ended up trusting that Ohno would never hurt him, so if actually he received it, his Lord would show he was like all of them after all. “You’re a slave here, don't believe yourself as someone important” his words ripped his heart mercilessly. It was like Ninomiya had received an invisible slap with that, and pain could win, letting the rage talk instead thinking twice what he was going to do. His Lord had been clear enough to make him realize that nothing had changed and nothing would do it.
“I know perfectly my position, I don't need someone as you to remind me that” full of pain and rage, his mouth said everything which crossed his mind not caring about who he was talking to, which his status was, not caring anything else because he realized that he had nothing. He had already lost everything, he had been in the verge of dying several times, he was living constantly scared, so after all, he had lost the reason why he kept in silence in front of people like the Lords when they were the worst and deserved his words.
“How dare you?! I'm your Lord” he was almost shouting, showing an horribly angry expression, and Ninomiya stood up being unable to stop his mouth, to stop his anger, to stop everything inside of him after three years in the deepest hell. He had reached a limit mentally, he could not stop wondering tons of things he believed as unfair, his heart was filled with frustration and maybe he made Ohno pay all those years of suffering when he had only treated him as a prince since he arrived. But Ninomiya had exploded.
“Then, act as such!” he yelled at his Lord with all his might, leaving him speechless. He closed his eyes, making some tears fall and his head was lowered full of embarrassed because of his weeping and hard sobs. Everything was so unfair around him, it was impossible he could keep in silence anymore, even if that would mean losing his life for daring too. He was not made to be a coward and accept what he was saying day after day. Even if he himself could become the unfair one at some point.
However, his Lord caught his arm abruptly and pulled him against his body strongly, hugging him tightly with his two arms. Ninomiya, who thought he was going to be punished, widened his eyes as his breath was cut, being frozen several seconds because he had spent whole years suffering in silence without having no one to give him a simple hug. Then, Ohno brushed his hair and sighed deeply.
“I would punish you right now, but I can’t” his voice was a whisper full of despair and frustration, showing how he was being a mess too. “You’re disrespectful, stupid and stubborn. No Lord would want you as a slave, but here I am, admiring those sides of your character” he said bitterly, his voice showing a point of pain even. Meanwhile, Ninomiya was breathing heavily and painfully as his heart was pounding in his chest because of a mix of things as the hug, his words, the situation itself. There were so many things which were overcoming him at that moment. And he was sure that the Lord could feel how nervous he was because their bodies were completely together.
Something inside of him liked that hug. No, more than liking it, he did like his Lord doing it. He liked all his faces. The funniest, the coldest. His good and bad points. And only because he was the one who took care of him since the beginning as his precious treasure. He had discovered what being loved meant thanks to him even if it was possible that Lord Ohno did not do it with that intention. And he became someone indispensable in his life for continuing living. Because after all, he had gotten used to feel that warmth with him everyday. That somehow it would protect him from now on.
Finding his true feelings, Ninomiya cried hard on his shoulder as he felt two arms holding him tightly. He thought he would never fall if those arms held him forever. The slave found himself liking his Lord as a small hope grew up inside of him which told him that maybe, just maybe Ohno would feel the same for him one day, and that was what broke his heart once again, making him grab the Lord's kimono tightly. Because after all, he knew that day would probably never come.
“Why...? Why do I deserve this life...?” Ninomiya asked between sobs, wanting to know the reason because he would fix it immediately if that meant to get a better life. If that meant he would finally discover that happiness indeed existed for him too. If that meant he would find that awaited, normal life he had always dreamed about. However, Ohno did not answer, no words filled that room echoed only by his sobs.
So when Ninomiya realized what he had done and what he was doing, he obliged himself to stop his weeping to end that embarrassing situation as soon as possible and apologize for his words and behaviour toward his Lord. That was why his hands dropped his clothes to feel his muscles below them. Their bodies started to separate and in the middle, their faces stopped in front of each other when they were still close. Not knowing why, Ohno caressed his cheek with a soft hand to wipe his tears and unexpectedly, he approached while tilting a bit his head, showing what he was trying to make happen. At that moment, Ninomiya froze, staying still and anxious, not moving to receive it, because after all he was desiring it, but the Lord stopped before touching his lips, changing his mind completely or realizing the crazy step he was going to do.
“I’m sorry...” Ohno bit his lower lip, looking away and sighing heavily to calm himself. Then, Ninomiya realized too what they had almost done and stepped backwards to turn around not to look at the Lord anymore because his embarrassment due to a million of reasons was too strong in him. “Forget this. I won't punish you, don't worry” the Lord clarified with tired voice. The latter did not talk anymore and left the room swiftly, not even trying to meet his eyes for last time.
The slave stayed there, in the same spot, remembering what had happened over and over again. His mind was in blank, although he was thinking of the warmth of his body, of his hands rubbing his back, of his cheek against his hair. He was remembering every single detail of those brief minutes they spent hugging. But then, the last part arrived to his brain like a bullet to destroy his sanity in an instant. He closed his eyes to remember his Lord so close to his lips, his breath touching his mouth slightly, increasing his expectations to break them after. The desire Ohno created in him was killing his sanity little by little. He wanted that closeness again so badly that sometimes his breath stopped yearning to fulfil that kiss with him, to dig his fingers in his hair enjoying his lips over his skin, to have that man as his. He could not even understand his own thoughts, his own body, but it was clear Ohno had the power to make him feel as a man.
And because he was going too far in his imagination exactly due to that, he went to his bed and closed his eyes tightly. At that moment, he understood Ohno had became the reason to dream for first time in his life. To chase a dream even if it was impossible to fulfil. To believe in miracles. In the end, that longing was his fuel to fight for something not mattering if it was possible or not. To decide that he would die chasing Ohno only to feel as alive as that moment in the room. To change his life although it had no solution already. To be able to give up one day knowing he had done all he could to get his love back.
For first time, he refused to accept his life in that condition and his Lord was his last salvation.
TBC...
//Hi! Third chapter done with a great progression in their romantic side~ I love writing those scenes to be sincere. They are so angsty :')))
Also, I still don't know if I will update on Saturday, because I decided to delete a fucking whole chapter and rewrite it fully so it may take me more time than the expected, but if it progresses correctly, there will be 👌
Hope you like it!
Tomoya~
Pairing:: Ohno Satoshi/Ninomiya Kazunari
Genre:: royalty!au, slavery!au, angst, romance, drama
Lenght:: chaptered
Word Count:: 4205 words
Rating:: PG-13
Note:: this is a remastered version of the posted and unfinished fic, The Days Became A Story.
Summary:: Centuries ago, the country was controlled by Lords who used slaves for multiple tasts. As they weren't considered as humans, they could be tortured and raped that no one would stop them. And in the middle of that, Ninomiya Kazunari was sold to Lord Imada, having to live the worst of the worst in order to survive another day. Until his execution for rebellion arrived and unexpectedly, his guardian angel appeared to save and protect him from that world full of despicable monsters. No matter if after falling in love with him would mean to have to pay a big price.
We Are Alike
The days were going by slowly and Ninomiya's condition was getting better thanks to his Lord's help - all the medicaments he could take and food he could eat, also proper nights along with warmth and hygiene. Besides, while Ninomiya was recovering in his room, Ohno sometimes went to his room to apply the ointment on his back carefully and make the slave fulfil his demand of talking with him by asking him questions of every subject, but lately he was focusing in one for some reason Ninomiya ignored.
The Lord only asked random questions about the past of the young man or his likes and dislikes. Kazunari answered briefly, because he did not feel at ease telling his childhood and giving to his Lord every detail he wanted. Indeed, the slave did not want to talk about those hurtful moments, mainly because he wondered why it had to end or why he could not go back and live it once more. So when he had to explain his childhood with his parents and his brother, his eyes were wet. He had tried to hide them the best he could and if Ohno had discovered him, he had not said anything.
Regarding his Lord, Ninomiya had not dared to ask him after all. When a person asked him too much, he wanted information of them as well and that was what was happening to the slave. Maybe Ohno's treatment made him adopt a nice behaviour instead of the slave one and many questions appeared in his mind about the Lord. Stupid ones, but somehow he really wanted to know where he was born, or if he had still family, or what he liked to eat or do during his free time. It was not important stuff, he just wanted to know a bit more about the man who saved him and who was taking care of him so much.
Nevertheless, the day when the slave recovered completely arrived, and right after getting the approbation of Sho, Ohno decided to start to treat him as his slave to work finally and not as an injured person who he had to help anymore. His behaviour did not change as such, but the orders were different and harder. Even stranger. It was the first time he received some of them and of course he doubted sometimes if he was joking or not. Unluckily, Lord Ohno never joked and Ninomiya always thought his Lord ended up being angry with him for not believing his words. However, it was just his coldness which confused him, who was used to a natural warmth coming from his gentle words or nice behaviour.
The Lord did not talk about himself, not even a single bit, but his actions revealed his likes and dislikes in the moment Ninomiya saw him daily. Every time they went through a hallway, Ohno admired the beautiful paintings placed on the walls with an amazing sense of style. Then, the slave stared at some of them, trying to understand their meaning or get what he was trying to represent in them, but he was never able to completely decipher anyone. What he realized was that in a corner, there was a name written on all of them.
Satoshi...
His Lord was the painter of every drawing in that mansion, which was not small, finding several pieces of art in each room. And although he understood nothing of painting, Ninomiya could feel a sense of nostalgia and loneliness coming from them. Even despair or rage in a few ones placed in hidden rooms. Every one of them was about dead nature and sad people working in exchange for nothing. Many times, Ohno had to call him twice because the slave could not stop looking at them, feeling identified with those dark emotions. Really connecting so well with what Ohno wanted to draw there.
The young man sometimes thought that maybe they were alike. Perhaps their sorrows and insecurities were alike. Because when his eyes met his Lord's, he could see the same cry for help inside of them. How even his face tried to be inexpressive, his eyes were the door to watch their own souls and see maybe they were different because of their status, but inside, they followed the same pattern. And he could understand that feeling even more the day he went outside with Ohno through the garden to walk a bit and do some tasks at the same time. The Lord ordered him to work in the farmlands behind the mansion, planting potato and tomato seeds along with more slaves he started to know finally.
After a few hours working, his back started to hurt due to the ribs which were still healing under the doctor's supervision yet. Then, once Ninomiya looked up to dry his sweat, he saw how Ohno appeared to observe how he was working and sat on a near bench to watch his job carefully. Ninomiya was nervous thanks to his Lord's gaze staring at every move he made. Somehow, it was like if every mistake he could do would be checked by him.
What surprised him the most was that there were more people to check too, but Ohno mainly focused on him. Almost ten more slaves were working with him too and only once, Ohno changed his gaze. Suddenly, one of them, who was working without showing any pain, fell over the ground as if he had almost fainted and Ninomiya ran to help him to stand up again because the man seemed ill or at least so tired. The boy was really worried as long as that man was already old and maybe he was hurt from the fall. However, a shout stopped him in a second.
“Ninomiya! Leave him do it alone!” the Lord yelled at him rudely, almost angry and although he did not want to obey, he turned around to continue his task as the old man stood up alone after looking really weak in his steps and moves and went back to his work. “Nobisuke, are you alright?” the Lord asked the man coldly, his face showing no expression, and the slave smiled nodding and bowing politely and gratefully. The slave, instead, watched the scene surprised and he glanced at his Lord who was looking at the man since he fell.
Can a Lord be a good person...?
*****
The journey on the farmland had ended after long hours under the hot sun and the slaves went to a near river where they washed their bodies and clothes after working with the ground. They could have nice rooms and a proper treatment there, but obviously, they could not have more as bathrooms as long as their were simple slaves. That was why there were a lot of people inside the river - some were naked not caring what genre they were; they only needed fresh water to wash their dirty skins and feel like humans again.
Different from them, Ninomiya never undressed himself, he did it under his clothes as he could not to show all the marks he had because he was really ashamed of that. Besides, his clothes would get wet and the long path back to the mansion would dry them. Surprisingly, during it, the man who fell, Nobisuke, approached him with a warm smile, wanting to tell him something, so Ninomiya got closer too to listen to him.
“Boy, thank you for trying to help me” he caught Ninomiya's hand to shake it as thank you and the young man returned a shy smile. “You know, I'm so ill and sometimes I lose all my strength. Lord Ohno told me to stop working and live my last years in calm here, but my life belongs to my Lord so I'm still under his orders. No matter how many times I fall, he only asks me if I'm okay and continues respecting my last wish. So don't think he's a bad person, please” the man told Ninomiya all of that with a husky voice, highlighting his weak health, and the latter was totally shocked of hearing that. So indeed, below that cold mask he showed to everyone - except to Ninomiya for some strange reason -, there was a nice person who cared about the poorest people, exactly as he did with him too when he arrived. Then, he looked around and Ninomiya realized for first time, everyone was showing happy faces after a hard day, but no one was suffering there a hell. They were treated as humans.
After, the young man said him goodbye and returned at the mansion by himself to think alone about what he had discovered that evening. He could not stop thinking about the story Nobisuke had told him. That was helping him to see the Lord in other nicer way. Until that day, he had been so reticent and suspicious to believe his gentle actions such as taking care of him, because after all it came from a Lord and he did not have good experiences with them, but now he was accepting the fact that maybe Ohno was different. Perhaps Lord Ohno was a good person acting as a cold Lord just to shut the village up and not to spread unnecessary rumours. What fixed in his mind so much that he found himself believing in his Lord a bit more.
That was why when he came back to his room, Lord Ohno was waiting for him in front of the door and his mood was not that defensive anymore. Ninomiya was getting used to do it because almost every night Ohno did his interrogatory after the whole tiring day. So he opened the door and both came inside to have that daily conversation. Ninomiya sat over his bed and Ohno stayed in his chair as always. Then, the boy waited for his first question.
“How was your first day working in the farmland?” Ohno tilted a bit his head, awaiting his answer because everyday Ninomiya could give him a different reply and the Lord felt so amused by that.
“It was nice” he answered briefly as always, not wanting to give too many details, and abruptly Ohno burst into laughs, leaving the boy amazed in front of him.
“Working six hours under the sun can't be nice” he replied looking amused at the slave not believing his words. But who was not believing the other was Kazunari who wondered why he thought like that if the rest of Lords made them work more than ten or twelves hours per day and said they were being nice with them. And that made him remember again how gentle Ohno was inside.
“Might I ask you a question, my Lord?” surprisingly, his mouth spoke without thinking, just speaking naturally because he knew Ohno would take it correctly. He allowed him with a nod and after gulping, he proceeded. “Why are you so cold in front of everyone, but here you laugh naturally?” his eyes were raised to find a surprised gaze staring at him. For first time, Ninomiya handled it and they remained looking at each other as the Lord answered him.
“Let’s say...” he rested his head over the wall, losing his gaze in the nowhere, seeming hesitant. “...that we are alike...” he smiled tilting his head slightly as Ninomiya's eyes widened.
Why do we both think the same?
His mind only wondered that over and over again, how was that possible? He wanted to know the details, in what they looked alike, why they felt it at the same time. He had so many questions he needed to speak up and hear Ohno’s answers. But his nervousness impeded him to talk anything else, just remaining in silence as his face showed the mess he was inside. Acting a bit because he realized Ohno would be able to read his expression, the slave yawned rubbing his eyes and Ohno smiled with a sad gaze.
“Sleep, today was hard. Good job” the Lord said with soft voice and stood up to leave the room in silent as Ninomiya stayed on the bed still, looking at the door for several minutes with his thoughts being a completely mess, not knowing what had just happened. In the end, without thinking, just moving by inertia, his body was dropped over the bed being defeated to sleep and forget everything. He needed not to think for a while. He really needed to erase Ohno from his brain for just a second.
*****
A few days after, Sakurai Sho went to see how his ribs were, almost finalizing the treatment already. Kazunari undressed the shirt as always, after having gotten used in front of the doctor, and Sho examined his torso with his hands carefully. Meanwhile he looked around, finding the room empty; that time, they were alone because Ohno had to do some important duties so the doctor came first. However, due to that coincidence, Sakurai took advantage of the situation and he dared to ask what even Nino did not know and left him frozen.
“Do you like your Lord?” Sakurai spoke innocently, acting as if that question was not important, and his eyes were raised to look at Ninomiya, who was breathless. “It’s not my business, I know, but you're a slave. I don't mind that, but everyone in the village does. Be careful” he smiled encouraging his feelings even if the boy had not had the chance to answer because he was speechless in front of the doctor. Those which Ninomiya thought they did not exist. Those which were there, but the slave refused to believe. It was the first time they appeared thanks to Sho's words and nothing could hurt more than an one-side love with one of the most important Lords of his country, so he decided to hide them until he would die. No mattering who would try to discover them.
“Doctor” he called him with the calmest voice he could use. “Why do you say that?” Ninomiya asked knowing that he had a reason and he wanted to know it as well. Although he knew it would not be as easy as asking it, he tried, just in case Sakurai would actually tell him. Ohno and he really seemed close as friends, so Ninomiya had a small hope.
“I want Satoshi to be the person he is instead of the person everyone expects. And I want you to help him” he said while catching his bag to go already as the slave got dressed again, maybe because he had given him too much information already, but Ninomiya was stubborn.
“I’m a simple slave, what can I-?”
“Haven’t you noticed that you are more than his slave?” he asked, amused by his lost face and he exclaimed. “Of course you don't!” he smiled. “Then, let me tell you he cares about you more than about himself...” he giggled and turned around to leave the room as his ears heard the young man's questions, who could not believe what he was listening that day.
“What am I for him?” he needed to know. He really needed to know that, he would repeat it thousands of times until getting an answer, but the doctor remained silent as he stopped beside the door because someone opened it abruptly, his Lord appearing with cold expression. Had he heard them?
“My slave” Ohno answered rudely instead of Sho, who was frowning as he was regretting the wrong timing. Ninomiya was pale, looking at the Lord wanting the ground to swallow him quickly. Of course he had heard them. He had heard everything possibly.
“He's totally recovered, Satoshi” Sho muttered with his head lowered, knowing he had messed it up too much than what he expected, and the Lord did not look at him, his eyes were fixed in his slave. Actually, that froze him more than anything else, because he had never seen him like that before. His eyes were piercing his soul, destroying his security and creating a big fear inside of him. All of that just with his intense gaze.
“Okay. Now, get out of here” his voice was cold, rude, huskier than normal, and Sakurai bowed to end his job there and close the door, leaving Ninomiya alone in front of a lion which was about to eat him. The Lord walked until the bed as Ninomiya thought that he had lost everything there because of that question which seemed forbidden between them.
“My Lord... It's not-“
“Shut up” he was angry and raised his voice for a second, intimidating the slave until making him lower his head. Ninomiya was feeling another punishment really near, but this time he did care if he had it, because somehow he ended up trusting that Ohno would never hurt him, so if actually he received it, his Lord would show he was like all of them after all. “You’re a slave here, don't believe yourself as someone important” his words ripped his heart mercilessly. It was like Ninomiya had received an invisible slap with that, and pain could win, letting the rage talk instead thinking twice what he was going to do. His Lord had been clear enough to make him realize that nothing had changed and nothing would do it.
“I know perfectly my position, I don't need someone as you to remind me that” full of pain and rage, his mouth said everything which crossed his mind not caring about who he was talking to, which his status was, not caring anything else because he realized that he had nothing. He had already lost everything, he had been in the verge of dying several times, he was living constantly scared, so after all, he had lost the reason why he kept in silence in front of people like the Lords when they were the worst and deserved his words.
“How dare you?! I'm your Lord” he was almost shouting, showing an horribly angry expression, and Ninomiya stood up being unable to stop his mouth, to stop his anger, to stop everything inside of him after three years in the deepest hell. He had reached a limit mentally, he could not stop wondering tons of things he believed as unfair, his heart was filled with frustration and maybe he made Ohno pay all those years of suffering when he had only treated him as a prince since he arrived. But Ninomiya had exploded.
“Then, act as such!” he yelled at his Lord with all his might, leaving him speechless. He closed his eyes, making some tears fall and his head was lowered full of embarrassed because of his weeping and hard sobs. Everything was so unfair around him, it was impossible he could keep in silence anymore, even if that would mean losing his life for daring too. He was not made to be a coward and accept what he was saying day after day. Even if he himself could become the unfair one at some point.
However, his Lord caught his arm abruptly and pulled him against his body strongly, hugging him tightly with his two arms. Ninomiya, who thought he was going to be punished, widened his eyes as his breath was cut, being frozen several seconds because he had spent whole years suffering in silence without having no one to give him a simple hug. Then, Ohno brushed his hair and sighed deeply.
“I would punish you right now, but I can’t” his voice was a whisper full of despair and frustration, showing how he was being a mess too. “You’re disrespectful, stupid and stubborn. No Lord would want you as a slave, but here I am, admiring those sides of your character” he said bitterly, his voice showing a point of pain even. Meanwhile, Ninomiya was breathing heavily and painfully as his heart was pounding in his chest because of a mix of things as the hug, his words, the situation itself. There were so many things which were overcoming him at that moment. And he was sure that the Lord could feel how nervous he was because their bodies were completely together.
Something inside of him liked that hug. No, more than liking it, he did like his Lord doing it. He liked all his faces. The funniest, the coldest. His good and bad points. And only because he was the one who took care of him since the beginning as his precious treasure. He had discovered what being loved meant thanks to him even if it was possible that Lord Ohno did not do it with that intention. And he became someone indispensable in his life for continuing living. Because after all, he had gotten used to feel that warmth with him everyday. That somehow it would protect him from now on.
Finding his true feelings, Ninomiya cried hard on his shoulder as he felt two arms holding him tightly. He thought he would never fall if those arms held him forever. The slave found himself liking his Lord as a small hope grew up inside of him which told him that maybe, just maybe Ohno would feel the same for him one day, and that was what broke his heart once again, making him grab the Lord's kimono tightly. Because after all, he knew that day would probably never come.
“Why...? Why do I deserve this life...?” Ninomiya asked between sobs, wanting to know the reason because he would fix it immediately if that meant to get a better life. If that meant he would finally discover that happiness indeed existed for him too. If that meant he would find that awaited, normal life he had always dreamed about. However, Ohno did not answer, no words filled that room echoed only by his sobs.
So when Ninomiya realized what he had done and what he was doing, he obliged himself to stop his weeping to end that embarrassing situation as soon as possible and apologize for his words and behaviour toward his Lord. That was why his hands dropped his clothes to feel his muscles below them. Their bodies started to separate and in the middle, their faces stopped in front of each other when they were still close. Not knowing why, Ohno caressed his cheek with a soft hand to wipe his tears and unexpectedly, he approached while tilting a bit his head, showing what he was trying to make happen. At that moment, Ninomiya froze, staying still and anxious, not moving to receive it, because after all he was desiring it, but the Lord stopped before touching his lips, changing his mind completely or realizing the crazy step he was going to do.
“I’m sorry...” Ohno bit his lower lip, looking away and sighing heavily to calm himself. Then, Ninomiya realized too what they had almost done and stepped backwards to turn around not to look at the Lord anymore because his embarrassment due to a million of reasons was too strong in him. “Forget this. I won't punish you, don't worry” the Lord clarified with tired voice. The latter did not talk anymore and left the room swiftly, not even trying to meet his eyes for last time.
The slave stayed there, in the same spot, remembering what had happened over and over again. His mind was in blank, although he was thinking of the warmth of his body, of his hands rubbing his back, of his cheek against his hair. He was remembering every single detail of those brief minutes they spent hugging. But then, the last part arrived to his brain like a bullet to destroy his sanity in an instant. He closed his eyes to remember his Lord so close to his lips, his breath touching his mouth slightly, increasing his expectations to break them after. The desire Ohno created in him was killing his sanity little by little. He wanted that closeness again so badly that sometimes his breath stopped yearning to fulfil that kiss with him, to dig his fingers in his hair enjoying his lips over his skin, to have that man as his. He could not even understand his own thoughts, his own body, but it was clear Ohno had the power to make him feel as a man.
And because he was going too far in his imagination exactly due to that, he went to his bed and closed his eyes tightly. At that moment, he understood Ohno had became the reason to dream for first time in his life. To chase a dream even if it was impossible to fulfil. To believe in miracles. In the end, that longing was his fuel to fight for something not mattering if it was possible or not. To decide that he would die chasing Ohno only to feel as alive as that moment in the room. To change his life although it had no solution already. To be able to give up one day knowing he had done all he could to get his love back.
For first time, he refused to accept his life in that condition and his Lord was his last salvation.
TBC...
//Hi! Third chapter done with a great progression in their romantic side~ I love writing those scenes to be sincere. They are so angsty :')))
Also, I still don't know if I will update on Saturday, because I decided to delete a fucking whole chapter and rewrite it fully so it may take me more time than the expected, but if it progresses correctly, there will be 👌
Hope you like it!
Tomoya~