「90 Minutes」《Chapter 15》
Title: 90 Minutes
Pairing: Ohno Satoshi/Ninomiya Kazunari
Genre: angst, drama, smut, romance
Length: chaptered
Word Count: 3,216 words
Rating: R for words
He was still trying to assimilate what had just happened. His father had accepted Satoshi to be his boyfriend, but also, although he disliked the idea, they obtained the money to pay all the debts thanks to Satoshi. He wondered why he had done that; of course he would take years to get that money after working whole days, but that nightmare disappeared, he felt free. And his man was the one who had saved them. His eyes looked at Satoshi for long time, wanting to hug him so badly, but they were in the car, returning to the mansion. What would happen there? He was afraid of Ohno changing again and breaking all his dreams. He never wanted to lose him, that was his worst nightmare.
If he knew more about him, he would be surer about his relationship with him. He would be more confident that Ohno would keep by his side no matter what or who. If he knew the things, which he had to protect him of, maybe he would be able to help him as Satoshi had done when Kazunari told him about his past. After all, that was why they were together. To be in the good and bad moments, to listen and help, to love each other unconditionally.
Suddenly, Satoshi stroked his knee and sighed. Kazunari only caught it and smiled, his eyes shining as two stars. “Kazu, how was your childhood?” Ohno asked hastily and Ninomiya widened his eyes surprised. Why did he ask that? Was he interested in that?
“Normal, I think” he chuckled nervously because he was lost about that sudden question. He did not know why Satoshi had to ask about that, why he was interested in his past if it was normal, as every person.
“Well, I imagine that, but how? I mean, good and bad things you remember” he explained a bit more his doubt and Kazunari frowned. He did not want to talk about good and bad moments about his past. Especially because he was only remembering those bad memories he still wanted to forget.
“Why would you care about knowing that?” he avoided the fact of answering it, but kept smiling to seem normal. He was anxious at that moment. Did he want Ohno to know about him so well?
“I’m just trying to understand why you want to know so much about my past” Satoshi clarified with a soft voice, he seemed so relaxed. However, Kazunari moved on his seat uncomfortably. So it was because of that... Slowly, he started to understand the pressure Satoshi felt every time Kazunari asked him but he did not want to reply. It was like forcing him to say something he did not desire. It was hard, tough for his mind to talk about something, which made him suffer so much. Indeed, he was regretting having persisted so much with that subject.
“How long will we take?” Ninomiya changed the chat drastically, not looking at him. He felt ashamed about his actions; he had made him suffer so much, because it's not only trying to avoid it, but also saying no when a person asked persistently.
“The enough to talk a bit more” Ohno replied rudely and Ninomiya glanced at him. Why was he so stubborn? He only wanted to be calm after talking with his father. He was already so stressed to deal with Satoshi to.
“I don't want to talk” Ninomiya ended up the chat in a second and turned him his back to watch through the window. Closing his eyes sometimes, he fell asleep. He was tired, really tired because lately his life had become a mess. He did not know if he liked it, but somehow he felt a hand rubbing his face and knew that it had been worth it. His eyes found a serious grimace in front of him and Kazunari only yawned sleepy. Had they arrived already? He was not ready to enter that mansion as Ohno's boyfriend, he was so shy to do it so easily.
“Come with me, please” Satoshi asked, offering his hand and Kazunari sighed, wondering why he should. However, he took it and got out of the car. His eyes glanced at the car again asking for his luggage, but Satoshi had already given it to a servant. He was so attentive that Ninomiya wanted to smile again just a bit. Their hands slowly got intertwined and the couple walked through the garden relaxed. When they were in the middle of a private area, surrounded by tall shrubbery, Satoshi stopped and they ended up looking at each other so close.
No one said anything, their bodies did not move, even their eyes only blinked for a few times while their mouths approached slowly. That day was being hard for both, they argued because of anything and he wondered if that was okay, if that was going to work. Their personalities were crashing so much every time they did not agree that Kazunari kissed his cheek instead of his lips. He was so scared of being hurt by Satoshi now that they were trying something that he wanted to think coldly before continuing showing their love. But Ohno caught his chin and titled his own head to kiss him straight on his lips. Usually even if Ohno kissed him possessively, that kiss reflected how nervous he was.
“I would love to spend the rest of the day enjoying you, but I have to work” Satoshi sounded sad, those hazel eyes not shining as Kazunari would like. His hand played with his ear lovely.
“Don’t worry, this night...” his smile was flirty and Satoshi nodded satisfied. His free hand was intertwined with Ohno's to start to walk through the garden, not quickly, in a low speed, as enjoying it together. No one said anything, they did not need words, firstly because no one knew what to say, and secondly, because both could enjoy silence as much as each other. At least, they would not fight again.
Then, when Kazunari came again in that house, he saw the same sight as the first day, and only at that second, he realized how much his life has changed. It was overwhelming. His gaze lost into those memories of the first time he saw Ohno, what he thought about him, what he did, what he watched. Nothing was the same. His opinion of Ohno about a despicable human had become the most wonderful person he could meet. He had become the person he cared the most for. It could be simply described as he loved him, but Ninomiya knew that his feelings were not just love for him, it was admiration, that need to protect him, that happiness inside of him when they were together, those thoughts about Ohno the whole day. It was pure dedication to make him happy and that... That could not be more beautiful.
Then, slowly, as his thoughts filled his mind, they reached the office and Satoshi dropped his hand. “You’re not a servant anymore, I don't want to see you doing anything around the house. You can stay here, just don't make noise” his boyfriend explained softly, but that warning was dangerous, possibly Ohno would be mad if he did something, but he did not care, he would do what he thought as needed. For the moment, he only nodded and sat in a sofa beside long shelves full of books. Ohno only sat on his chair and started to hit the buttons of his laptop frenetically. Then, he received a call.
“It’s not a mistake, I want all for tomorrow, understood?” he only said those words rudely, with his usual poker face, and the other person must understand it clearly because after it, Satoshi hanged up without hearing another word more. Ninomiya wondered what had happened, but he did not dare to ask, even making a noise while breathing was like disturbing him. Suddenly, a knock on the door interrupted his work and Sakurai came inside to talk with Ohno. Kazunari stared at him so much that Sho ended up noticing him and his eyes were widened.
“Nino, what are you doing here?” Sakurai approached him and Ninomiya only smiled slightly and stood up.
“I’m back...” he simply said, needing to tell him what happened and what they were now. But through the edge of his eye, he saw how Satoshi stood up and walked until being behind Ninomiya. Slowly, he embraced his waist, everything in front of his friend's gaze, who was amazed, and Kazunari only rolled his eyes and sighed.
“Kazu, would you mind to allow us to talk alone?” Ohno asked while smelling his neck. Kazunari frowned to that weird request, but he nodded to turn around and left a little peck on his lips. Satoshi smiled slightly, that brightness in his eyes being evident, and the young man patted Sho's shoulder who was there, out of place.
“We will talk later” he said goodbye and let them alone in the office. His eyes looked the long hallway and he did not know what he should do. Now he was free, no obligations, no debts, no job. His life was a bit empty, boring. Then, he realized that he did not know anything about Masaki's condition and decided to go and visit him. First of all, he wrote a note and left it on the nightstand beside Ohno's bed. Then, he went downstairs and, absorbed into his thoughts, he crashed into another person.
“I'm sorry!” he apologized, trying to know if that person was fine, but suddenly he found that cool man from yesterday in front of him. His eyes widened and the unknown stood up, rejecting his help.
“Matsumoto Jun” his voice was rude, but even if his eyes were burning Kazunari's being, his hand was stretched. Ninomiya only showed his surprise and ran to answer him.
“Ninomiya Kazunari” he took his hand and the sudden pressure around his was pretty painful. What was wrong with that person? He never liked him, since the first comment Jun told him, the ex-servant was suspicious about him. Shortly after, Matsumoto kept staring at him. “Excuse me, I have to go” he tried to avoid him somehow, but that man only stopped him.
“I want to talk with you” Matsumoto insisted, but Kazunari continued rejecting his offer with the excuse of being late. “It’s about Satoshi” suddenly, Jun explained and he did not say anything else. Ninomiya only breathed deeply, wondering why that person called his partner as him. Then, dying for knowing what he wanted, he accepted. He fell in his trap probably, but Kazunari wanted to know, so he followed Jun until an empty room and they both sat around a table.
Matsumoto took two glasses of whisky and offered one to Kazunari. The young man shook his head, refusing it, but Jun smiled. “I think you will need it after listening to me” his words were intriguing because maybe it was related to what Kazunari wanted to know. Was it so dark? So bad? He felt as ready to listen, but did he truly want to know? Was he going to love Satoshi in the same way? What would change after hearing Jun? He was scared and he thought he was showing it because Jun seemed confidant there. His eyes ripping his soul slowly.
“Okay, what do you want to say?” he asked and Jun drank a bit of alcohol. The sounds of the ice were echoing into the walls of that little room. Kazunari broke it with his sigh, making his nervousness evident.
“Why does Satoshi love you?” his question was simple, but Kazunari frowned, not knowing what to reply. Jun only continued waiting while turning the ices into the glass.
“Ask him” Ninomiya answered straight, not scared of him, but his mind came back to the mess when that person only chuckled.
“Well then, why do you love him?” his eyes were playful, as if Jun was enjoying it. How could a person enjoy that? Ninomiya was sweating.
“Because I do, should be there a reason?” Kazunari knew how to play too.
“But do you know his past?” Jun drank again, calmed, relaxed, even bored of being there. The sir's partner gulped, he had hit their weak point.
“Not yet” if he could only run away... Well, he could, but his pride as man did not allow him to stand up his butt from his chair. Just a bit more until he could shut him up.
“Ah, now I can explain why you are still loving him...” he smiled, crossing his legs and taking the glass to his lips. The next swallow was cut off by Ninomiya's reply.
“And what does that mean?” would Jun tell him?
“Do you want to know?” would he accept?
“Yes” he did not think, he just succumbed to the desire of knowing, he did not care if it was told by Jun or Satoshi; Kazunari needed to know.
“Then, listen to me carefully” he sat better on his seat and approached Kazunari. “I’ve been his butler since he was thirteen years old. And I've been his sexual toy for two years. You really don't know what he has done to me...” his face turned gloomy and Kazunari caught his glass of whisky. “After his father's death and his mother’s abandonment after the wedding disaster, he only had me and all his frustration, pain and rage fell over me. You really don't know how many times he has raped me. But I was his butler, and he owned my life. Then, when I was not enough, he started to pay these whores he had today to do the same with them” he stopped a few seconds and Kazunari drank for first time because his mouth and throat were completely dried. “You know? He always treated his whores well, but I was punished over and over again... After a year and a half holding back, I took over. I changed the roles to make him feel what I had felt for so long. I fucked him those four last months I lived here. But after all, I couldn’t continue” his voice trembled. “I’ve always been in love with him so I decided to disappear from his life instead of hurting him anymore” he rubbed his face to make the tears disappear and Kazunari stayed still, being in shock. Thanks to that, everything took sense, but could he look at Ohno again with the same eyes?
“And why have you returned?” he dared to ask with a tiny voice. Jun smiled bitterly.
“Because when I knew that he was chasing one of his whores I went mad. Yesterday, I tried again to continue what I stopped a year ago. But I have to be sincere, even if Satoshi was allowing me to do what I wanted, his body refused my touches...” Kazunari widened his eyes and his heart did not beat for a second. Yesterday? Had they fucked yesterday? Why then? “In the moment I stopped and let him chase you... He only had eyes for you... I disappeared from this world and only you mattered... And I wonder why if I've always been beside him...” Jun drank the whole glass and hit it against the table. Kazunari moved to adapt a good position and spoke.
“He can't choose who to love, he couldn’t in the wedding, he couldn’t with you” he tried to excuse Ohno from the guilt of not loving him, but his gaze could say how much rage was inside Jun.
“And why can he love you?!” his voice was louder, however Ninomiya did not move even a single inch.
“I don't know” he answered. They had returned to the first question Jun say at the beginning of the conversation. Ninomiya took that scene for ended when Jun dropped the glass and stood up. But he was scared when he walked beside him and stopped close to his ear.
“Answering to your question... No, there's no reason to love, but so many to hate” without any single word, Jun left that room and Kazunari stayed there paralyzed. What did that mean? Now that he knew his past, did he have reasons to hate him? Indeed, his vision of Ohno had changed and he did not know what to do now. Maybe this was the main fear Satoshi was trying to avoid. And maybe he was right.
*****
He washed his hands under that crystalline water of the sink and suddenly, he washed his face too. He was still shocked after that new information. Satoshi was on the other side of that door waiting for him in the bed, possibly waiting for making love too, and Kazunari was even unable to look at his face. A knot was in his throat and he could not breathe. It was so painful to know that Satoshi had done those terrible things to someone. He was afraid now that someday, Satoshi would end up doing the same thing with him. Even if he knew it was impossible, if Satoshi had done it once, he could do it twice.
His body sweated when Ohno called for him because he had stayed in the bathroom for so long. It was time to get out and face him. He only needed to seem normal, Satoshi did not know he had talked with Jun, and there was no reason to tell him, so Kazunari opened the door and walked to the bed, trying to look normal. Satoshi was with his phone and glanced at him when Ninomiya sat under the sheets.
“I thought you have died there” he joked and Ninomiya only smiled a bit. “I read your note, how's Aiba?” Satoshi asked seeming in a good mood. Kazunari gulped, he lied so awkwardly.
“He's fine, as always I think” he answered nervously. It was a miracle if Satoshi did not suspect anything. And according to his reaction, it seemed as fine.
“Interesting... No, well, I'm curious about how you know it because I called Aiba a while ago and he assured me that you didn’t visit him today” his voice was painful, full of sarcasm. His eyes needing an explanation. His hands tightening their grip around the phone.
And Kazunari was blank. His mind could not think any excuse, he could not find an escape from that situation. He himself had dug his grave and thrown his body inside. Now, what should he say? The truth? That Jun had told him everything? How would Satoshi react? But, what would happen with their relationship? Was a lie the needed reason to change the love into hate?
//In 12 days I will be free to continue writing all that I want like ending the fics, writing another, writing fluffy drabbles, an amazing one-shot I have prepared. But also I will try another project, not sure though. And finally talking about this chapter, well the unexpected past of Satoshi is out, not so new for you if I remember well, but Ohno knows he lied to him, what would happen next?
It's a bit plain this chapter but I have to connect the story somehow, forgive me then!
Hope you like it and thanks for all the support!
Pairing: Ohno Satoshi/Ninomiya Kazunari
Genre: angst, drama, smut, romance
Length: chaptered
Word Count: 3,216 words
Rating: R for words
He was still trying to assimilate what had just happened. His father had accepted Satoshi to be his boyfriend, but also, although he disliked the idea, they obtained the money to pay all the debts thanks to Satoshi. He wondered why he had done that; of course he would take years to get that money after working whole days, but that nightmare disappeared, he felt free. And his man was the one who had saved them. His eyes looked at Satoshi for long time, wanting to hug him so badly, but they were in the car, returning to the mansion. What would happen there? He was afraid of Ohno changing again and breaking all his dreams. He never wanted to lose him, that was his worst nightmare.
If he knew more about him, he would be surer about his relationship with him. He would be more confident that Ohno would keep by his side no matter what or who. If he knew the things, which he had to protect him of, maybe he would be able to help him as Satoshi had done when Kazunari told him about his past. After all, that was why they were together. To be in the good and bad moments, to listen and help, to love each other unconditionally.
Suddenly, Satoshi stroked his knee and sighed. Kazunari only caught it and smiled, his eyes shining as two stars. “Kazu, how was your childhood?” Ohno asked hastily and Ninomiya widened his eyes surprised. Why did he ask that? Was he interested in that?
“Normal, I think” he chuckled nervously because he was lost about that sudden question. He did not know why Satoshi had to ask about that, why he was interested in his past if it was normal, as every person.
“Well, I imagine that, but how? I mean, good and bad things you remember” he explained a bit more his doubt and Kazunari frowned. He did not want to talk about good and bad moments about his past. Especially because he was only remembering those bad memories he still wanted to forget.
“Why would you care about knowing that?” he avoided the fact of answering it, but kept smiling to seem normal. He was anxious at that moment. Did he want Ohno to know about him so well?
“I’m just trying to understand why you want to know so much about my past” Satoshi clarified with a soft voice, he seemed so relaxed. However, Kazunari moved on his seat uncomfortably. So it was because of that... Slowly, he started to understand the pressure Satoshi felt every time Kazunari asked him but he did not want to reply. It was like forcing him to say something he did not desire. It was hard, tough for his mind to talk about something, which made him suffer so much. Indeed, he was regretting having persisted so much with that subject.
“How long will we take?” Ninomiya changed the chat drastically, not looking at him. He felt ashamed about his actions; he had made him suffer so much, because it's not only trying to avoid it, but also saying no when a person asked persistently.
“The enough to talk a bit more” Ohno replied rudely and Ninomiya glanced at him. Why was he so stubborn? He only wanted to be calm after talking with his father. He was already so stressed to deal with Satoshi to.
“I don't want to talk” Ninomiya ended up the chat in a second and turned him his back to watch through the window. Closing his eyes sometimes, he fell asleep. He was tired, really tired because lately his life had become a mess. He did not know if he liked it, but somehow he felt a hand rubbing his face and knew that it had been worth it. His eyes found a serious grimace in front of him and Kazunari only yawned sleepy. Had they arrived already? He was not ready to enter that mansion as Ohno's boyfriend, he was so shy to do it so easily.
“Come with me, please” Satoshi asked, offering his hand and Kazunari sighed, wondering why he should. However, he took it and got out of the car. His eyes glanced at the car again asking for his luggage, but Satoshi had already given it to a servant. He was so attentive that Ninomiya wanted to smile again just a bit. Their hands slowly got intertwined and the couple walked through the garden relaxed. When they were in the middle of a private area, surrounded by tall shrubbery, Satoshi stopped and they ended up looking at each other so close.
No one said anything, their bodies did not move, even their eyes only blinked for a few times while their mouths approached slowly. That day was being hard for both, they argued because of anything and he wondered if that was okay, if that was going to work. Their personalities were crashing so much every time they did not agree that Kazunari kissed his cheek instead of his lips. He was so scared of being hurt by Satoshi now that they were trying something that he wanted to think coldly before continuing showing their love. But Ohno caught his chin and titled his own head to kiss him straight on his lips. Usually even if Ohno kissed him possessively, that kiss reflected how nervous he was.
“I would love to spend the rest of the day enjoying you, but I have to work” Satoshi sounded sad, those hazel eyes not shining as Kazunari would like. His hand played with his ear lovely.
“Don’t worry, this night...” his smile was flirty and Satoshi nodded satisfied. His free hand was intertwined with Ohno's to start to walk through the garden, not quickly, in a low speed, as enjoying it together. No one said anything, they did not need words, firstly because no one knew what to say, and secondly, because both could enjoy silence as much as each other. At least, they would not fight again.
Then, when Kazunari came again in that house, he saw the same sight as the first day, and only at that second, he realized how much his life has changed. It was overwhelming. His gaze lost into those memories of the first time he saw Ohno, what he thought about him, what he did, what he watched. Nothing was the same. His opinion of Ohno about a despicable human had become the most wonderful person he could meet. He had become the person he cared the most for. It could be simply described as he loved him, but Ninomiya knew that his feelings were not just love for him, it was admiration, that need to protect him, that happiness inside of him when they were together, those thoughts about Ohno the whole day. It was pure dedication to make him happy and that... That could not be more beautiful.
Then, slowly, as his thoughts filled his mind, they reached the office and Satoshi dropped his hand. “You’re not a servant anymore, I don't want to see you doing anything around the house. You can stay here, just don't make noise” his boyfriend explained softly, but that warning was dangerous, possibly Ohno would be mad if he did something, but he did not care, he would do what he thought as needed. For the moment, he only nodded and sat in a sofa beside long shelves full of books. Ohno only sat on his chair and started to hit the buttons of his laptop frenetically. Then, he received a call.
“It’s not a mistake, I want all for tomorrow, understood?” he only said those words rudely, with his usual poker face, and the other person must understand it clearly because after it, Satoshi hanged up without hearing another word more. Ninomiya wondered what had happened, but he did not dare to ask, even making a noise while breathing was like disturbing him. Suddenly, a knock on the door interrupted his work and Sakurai came inside to talk with Ohno. Kazunari stared at him so much that Sho ended up noticing him and his eyes were widened.
“Nino, what are you doing here?” Sakurai approached him and Ninomiya only smiled slightly and stood up.
“I’m back...” he simply said, needing to tell him what happened and what they were now. But through the edge of his eye, he saw how Satoshi stood up and walked until being behind Ninomiya. Slowly, he embraced his waist, everything in front of his friend's gaze, who was amazed, and Kazunari only rolled his eyes and sighed.
“Kazu, would you mind to allow us to talk alone?” Ohno asked while smelling his neck. Kazunari frowned to that weird request, but he nodded to turn around and left a little peck on his lips. Satoshi smiled slightly, that brightness in his eyes being evident, and the young man patted Sho's shoulder who was there, out of place.
“We will talk later” he said goodbye and let them alone in the office. His eyes looked the long hallway and he did not know what he should do. Now he was free, no obligations, no debts, no job. His life was a bit empty, boring. Then, he realized that he did not know anything about Masaki's condition and decided to go and visit him. First of all, he wrote a note and left it on the nightstand beside Ohno's bed. Then, he went downstairs and, absorbed into his thoughts, he crashed into another person.
“I'm sorry!” he apologized, trying to know if that person was fine, but suddenly he found that cool man from yesterday in front of him. His eyes widened and the unknown stood up, rejecting his help.
“Matsumoto Jun” his voice was rude, but even if his eyes were burning Kazunari's being, his hand was stretched. Ninomiya only showed his surprise and ran to answer him.
“Ninomiya Kazunari” he took his hand and the sudden pressure around his was pretty painful. What was wrong with that person? He never liked him, since the first comment Jun told him, the ex-servant was suspicious about him. Shortly after, Matsumoto kept staring at him. “Excuse me, I have to go” he tried to avoid him somehow, but that man only stopped him.
“I want to talk with you” Matsumoto insisted, but Kazunari continued rejecting his offer with the excuse of being late. “It’s about Satoshi” suddenly, Jun explained and he did not say anything else. Ninomiya only breathed deeply, wondering why that person called his partner as him. Then, dying for knowing what he wanted, he accepted. He fell in his trap probably, but Kazunari wanted to know, so he followed Jun until an empty room and they both sat around a table.
Matsumoto took two glasses of whisky and offered one to Kazunari. The young man shook his head, refusing it, but Jun smiled. “I think you will need it after listening to me” his words were intriguing because maybe it was related to what Kazunari wanted to know. Was it so dark? So bad? He felt as ready to listen, but did he truly want to know? Was he going to love Satoshi in the same way? What would change after hearing Jun? He was scared and he thought he was showing it because Jun seemed confidant there. His eyes ripping his soul slowly.
“Okay, what do you want to say?” he asked and Jun drank a bit of alcohol. The sounds of the ice were echoing into the walls of that little room. Kazunari broke it with his sigh, making his nervousness evident.
“Why does Satoshi love you?” his question was simple, but Kazunari frowned, not knowing what to reply. Jun only continued waiting while turning the ices into the glass.
“Ask him” Ninomiya answered straight, not scared of him, but his mind came back to the mess when that person only chuckled.
“Well then, why do you love him?” his eyes were playful, as if Jun was enjoying it. How could a person enjoy that? Ninomiya was sweating.
“Because I do, should be there a reason?” Kazunari knew how to play too.
“But do you know his past?” Jun drank again, calmed, relaxed, even bored of being there. The sir's partner gulped, he had hit their weak point.
“Not yet” if he could only run away... Well, he could, but his pride as man did not allow him to stand up his butt from his chair. Just a bit more until he could shut him up.
“Ah, now I can explain why you are still loving him...” he smiled, crossing his legs and taking the glass to his lips. The next swallow was cut off by Ninomiya's reply.
“And what does that mean?” would Jun tell him?
“Do you want to know?” would he accept?
“Yes” he did not think, he just succumbed to the desire of knowing, he did not care if it was told by Jun or Satoshi; Kazunari needed to know.
“Then, listen to me carefully” he sat better on his seat and approached Kazunari. “I’ve been his butler since he was thirteen years old. And I've been his sexual toy for two years. You really don't know what he has done to me...” his face turned gloomy and Kazunari caught his glass of whisky. “After his father's death and his mother’s abandonment after the wedding disaster, he only had me and all his frustration, pain and rage fell over me. You really don't know how many times he has raped me. But I was his butler, and he owned my life. Then, when I was not enough, he started to pay these whores he had today to do the same with them” he stopped a few seconds and Kazunari drank for first time because his mouth and throat were completely dried. “You know? He always treated his whores well, but I was punished over and over again... After a year and a half holding back, I took over. I changed the roles to make him feel what I had felt for so long. I fucked him those four last months I lived here. But after all, I couldn’t continue” his voice trembled. “I’ve always been in love with him so I decided to disappear from his life instead of hurting him anymore” he rubbed his face to make the tears disappear and Kazunari stayed still, being in shock. Thanks to that, everything took sense, but could he look at Ohno again with the same eyes?
“And why have you returned?” he dared to ask with a tiny voice. Jun smiled bitterly.
“Because when I knew that he was chasing one of his whores I went mad. Yesterday, I tried again to continue what I stopped a year ago. But I have to be sincere, even if Satoshi was allowing me to do what I wanted, his body refused my touches...” Kazunari widened his eyes and his heart did not beat for a second. Yesterday? Had they fucked yesterday? Why then? “In the moment I stopped and let him chase you... He only had eyes for you... I disappeared from this world and only you mattered... And I wonder why if I've always been beside him...” Jun drank the whole glass and hit it against the table. Kazunari moved to adapt a good position and spoke.
“He can't choose who to love, he couldn’t in the wedding, he couldn’t with you” he tried to excuse Ohno from the guilt of not loving him, but his gaze could say how much rage was inside Jun.
“And why can he love you?!” his voice was louder, however Ninomiya did not move even a single inch.
“I don't know” he answered. They had returned to the first question Jun say at the beginning of the conversation. Ninomiya took that scene for ended when Jun dropped the glass and stood up. But he was scared when he walked beside him and stopped close to his ear.
“Answering to your question... No, there's no reason to love, but so many to hate” without any single word, Jun left that room and Kazunari stayed there paralyzed. What did that mean? Now that he knew his past, did he have reasons to hate him? Indeed, his vision of Ohno had changed and he did not know what to do now. Maybe this was the main fear Satoshi was trying to avoid. And maybe he was right.
*****
He washed his hands under that crystalline water of the sink and suddenly, he washed his face too. He was still shocked after that new information. Satoshi was on the other side of that door waiting for him in the bed, possibly waiting for making love too, and Kazunari was even unable to look at his face. A knot was in his throat and he could not breathe. It was so painful to know that Satoshi had done those terrible things to someone. He was afraid now that someday, Satoshi would end up doing the same thing with him. Even if he knew it was impossible, if Satoshi had done it once, he could do it twice.
His body sweated when Ohno called for him because he had stayed in the bathroom for so long. It was time to get out and face him. He only needed to seem normal, Satoshi did not know he had talked with Jun, and there was no reason to tell him, so Kazunari opened the door and walked to the bed, trying to look normal. Satoshi was with his phone and glanced at him when Ninomiya sat under the sheets.
“I thought you have died there” he joked and Ninomiya only smiled a bit. “I read your note, how's Aiba?” Satoshi asked seeming in a good mood. Kazunari gulped, he lied so awkwardly.
“He's fine, as always I think” he answered nervously. It was a miracle if Satoshi did not suspect anything. And according to his reaction, it seemed as fine.
“Interesting... No, well, I'm curious about how you know it because I called Aiba a while ago and he assured me that you didn’t visit him today” his voice was painful, full of sarcasm. His eyes needing an explanation. His hands tightening their grip around the phone.
And Kazunari was blank. His mind could not think any excuse, he could not find an escape from that situation. He himself had dug his grave and thrown his body inside. Now, what should he say? The truth? That Jun had told him everything? How would Satoshi react? But, what would happen with their relationship? Was a lie the needed reason to change the love into hate?
//In 12 days I will be free to continue writing all that I want like ending the fics, writing another, writing fluffy drabbles, an amazing one-shot I have prepared. But also I will try another project, not sure though. And finally talking about this chapter, well the unexpected past of Satoshi is out, not so new for you if I remember well, but Ohno knows he lied to him, what would happen next?
It's a bit plain this chapter but I have to connect the story somehow, forgive me then!
Hope you like it and thanks for all the support!