(no subject)

[suk_me_hunn]

my depression is getting to me again. my body is weak and i constantly feel ill. my psychiatrsit told me not to work weekdays and see how i feel. whatever. i cant stop biting my fingers, which means im mad or nervous, which ever. The pills have stopped working and i feel like im truely a psycho. I just want to be normal and happy again. I hate that my life has turned out for the worst and that i cant go a day without being miserable. All i want to do is sleep sleep sleep. Thats the only time im happy. It's pathetic. Life is pointless and i dont want to live anymore. Im not thinking of suicide... but really.. whats the point of living if you'll die anyways? Life is punishment in my eyes and i just want it to go by and be with god. I hate everyone and everyone pisses me off. Sometimes i wanna shoot the shit out of people.
If my depression symptoms continue, then the amount of my meds will get boosted up, or im switching meds. i cant live this way forever, being on drugs 24/7 and all. Its all fake happiness, i know it.

All i can do now is try to enjoy life, and try to make the best of it.

I wish the past left me alone.