Merfolk, genies, states of undress, commercial food chain, calling Suitov helpless
***Anke realises that what with living on an island, Sylvie's probably used to quid and/or octopus as part of meals...
Sylvie: ... and PEOPLE that share characteristics with fish. Not everything that lives in the sea is food. >:|
Anke: You definitely need to tell me more about those merfolk...
Suitov: I'm from a landlocked country. For me [squid] they're curiosities.
Weft: They're nummy as long as they're cooked right. Deep-fried tentacle can be pretty gross.
Anke: deep-fried tentacle - you know, rings in batter - are the only kind I might maybe try...
Weft: Sure, if you want to destroy the texture and flavour. It's best when it's so fresh it's practically still wriggling.
Siri: UGH! *caught the last part of that conversation and runs off, hands over ears*
Sylvie: Oh, no- That's locusts you're thinking of.
Suitov: Oh, yes.
Weft: ........you are SO not helping your "not a lizard" image here, lordship.
Sylvie: ... or so they say. I prefer them roasted. :)
Suitov: I've tried them very lightly toasted and salted with... something. I didn't bother getting the recipe, but it wasn't bad.
Sylvie: chili's alway good for seasoning
Anke: Well
Anke: I had a hunch that she likes talking about food. I might have to read up on recipes...
Suitov: Surely you don't get many locust swarms on the Islands, do you?
Anke: And on locusts. :D
Herm: Was playing a pirate-themed D&D game once, and a huge swarm of locusts came bombing out of a harbour and towards our ship, making for the tasty-looking sails. That was a great game.
Sylvie: Well, grasshoppers and things... My vocabulary may be lacking a bit.
Weft: Locusts don't happen in civilisation. I have a hunch they happen in like stupid farming places that don't count.
Anke: * everybody is speechless at the city-monk who doesn't know where food comes from *
* Weft looks sulky
Sylvie: "Stupid farming places" grow your food.
Weft: Nuh-uh, food comes from the fish market.
Basaltine: .... At least that's better than "food comes from the tin my owner opens"...
Sylvie: How does the food come to the fish market?
Weft: *as if this is the stupidest thing he's ever heard* By wagon and barge.
Sylvie: Where do the wagons and barges get the food?
Weft: It gets put on them.
Sylvie: Where does it come from before it gets pu on the vehicles?
Weft: Workers or slaves or someone bring it I guess.
Sylvie: Where do they get it?
Weft: I don't know. That's their job.
Sylvie: Fish is caught in the sea or river or lakes. Grain or vegetables or fruit are grown on farms. Poultry or any other animals killed for meat are raised on farms, too.
Weft: That sounds inefficient.
Zashta: It's more efficient to raise them than than trying to catch wild birds or goats. And the meat is better, too.
Weft: But can't they... just... drop from the sky or something?
Weft: Like in the scriptures.
Anke: I guess you need to complain to your gods about that.
Weft: I... think I'll just keep going to the market.
***Anke wonders if [Weft] he knows where milk comes from
Weft: Beef farms.
Anke: Well done! :D
Weft: I don't know why they store it with the beefs, but they do.
Sylvie: Do women of your species breast-feed their babies?
Weft: How would I know?
Sylvie: ah, sorry, I should have thought of that.
Suitov: Incidentally, they do.
Sylvie: Milk is something some female animals - including, er, beefs, and humans - produce to feed their offspring before that offspring can handle normal food.
Weft: Yes, and they buy it from the beef market.
Sylvie: Unless you get euphemistic milk from bulls, which is different...
Suitov: More difficult to extract and doesn't store for as long.
Sylvie: No, the people working on the beef farm collect it from the cows - that's "female beefs", and sell it to the beef market.
Weft: Wait, Suitov, how do YOU know what Instarrian women do with their babies?
Suitov: I asked.
Sylvie: Thanks.
Suitov: For next week's masterclass, Weft, I'll teach you how not to get kicked while extracting milk from female beefs.
Weft: Why would I want to know that. X(
Suitov: Because "make sure your hands are warm" is a good general rule for life.
Sylvie: ... * was about to say something along those lines*
* Sylvie is actually more familiar with goats, but, eh.
Suitov: Goats! *is likely to start a lengthy conversation about different breeds and a study he once conducted on horn length and twist*
Sylvie: :)
Sylvie: I know in Raaji they have more long-haired breeds
Suitov: What's the terrain like there?
Sylvie: Mountainous for the most part. The south-east a bit less so, but over all, definitely.
Sylvie: And cold winters, meaning furs and wool are rather useful.
Suitov: I ask because the Montuone Longhorn has a particular feature of the [blah blah blah]
* Weft wishes he belonged to someone who hates everything and never goes out or approaches strange, potentially dangerous beasts
Sylvie: The four-horned rams looked rather interesting.
Anke: *heh*
Anke: I think *someone* should write a monograph on the topology of thistle leaves. They are awesome!
Weft: ...I could tell you anecdotal evidence of how it's like to land in a huge bed of them...
Anke: They're more awesome when not crushed
Weft: Coincidentally, so am I.
Anke: XD
Anke: ... also XD at EchoBazaar... If you have a Ruthless Henchman, that unlocks an opportunity card that among other things lets you give him dancing lessons.
Herm: ...omg MUST OWN
Weft: Suitov.
Suitov: Weft?
Weft: Thank you for never sending me to dancing lessons.
Anke: You're well-behaved enough, I guess.
Suitov: And a more-than-adequate dancer.
* Nico gives Daaren an impromptu dance lessons to distract him from being homesick.
Anke: He does OK, as long as his partner doesn't expect him to lead...
* Suitov looks at Weft in case he wants to join in
* Weft offers him a dagger, handle first
* Suitov gets the message and gives up
Anke: whee!
Weft: He never lets me teach him dirty knife-fighting tricks. :(
Suitov: Someday.
Anke: When you have some spare time...
Suitov: Where I'm from, whoever knows the dance better leads. Or, if it's called, it doesn't matter.
***Anke wonders about Sylvie's reaction in case Weft would offer giving her self-defense lessons...
Weft: Why not?
Anke: That's what I'm wondering. XD
Weft: I'm not usually supposed to share my training, but then I'm not usually left with one client for this long.
Sylvie: *knowing* dirty tricks wouldn't only be useful to stick something sharp in someone dangerous, but also to defend against them, no?
Weft: Yes. I can't make him carry a new weapon around with him, and with someone that defenceless it'd be a BAD idea anyway, but he has that pocketknife with him anyway.
Anke: Getting bored?
Weft: It's getting to the point where it's worth trying to make him a bit less defenceless than say a new-born baby.
Sylvie: Well, magic does help with the defence a bit...
Weft: With most clients it's not worth the time, but you know how it is. You get attached and start thinking it'd be inconvenient if he dies, because you'd have to learn the habits of someone new.
Suitov: *ironic expression probably caught from Jaina* Well done, Weft. That isn't disconcerting at all.
Sylvie: No, I didn't know. Inteeresting. :)
Weft: You try being stuck with someone for this long.
Anke: how long is this long?
Weft: In total, I don't remember how long I'm with him. It's lots of his short-years, anyway.
Weft: And Divine help me, you just get used to the helpless face.
Anke: XD
Anke: Mutt, admit it, you just want to break my brain calling Swiff "helpless" ;)
Herm: He is... kind of... when he's asleep.
Anke: but knowing dirty knife-fight tricks wouldn't help then, either. :D
Suitov: That doesn't matter - if I never sleep! *beams*
Anke: OK, then do that.
Weft: ...please don't encourage him.
Suitov: Knowing you watch me sleep doesn't exactly help!
Anke: XD
Weft: It's the only time when you're not annoying!
Suitov: There was that time when I was knocked unconscious.
Weft: Ah, that was blissful.
Sylvie: Sounds like you might prefer getting used to someone else...
Weft: :(
Weft: ...*attempts to cover that up* Yes, that sounds like fun!
Weft: Learning a target's habits is sure easier when he HAS predictable habits.
Nico: Running after random interesting things is a habit!
Weft: Not if you don't do it at particular times of the day... *sadface*
Sylvie: But if anything might turn out interesting, not a very predictable one.
Suitov: *to Nico* They're so PICKY.
Nico: Aren't predictable habits like that a security risk, because they provide convenient time for attacks?
Weft: Well yes, that's why I wish he had them, so I could report on them.
Anke: I think the whole "protect him now, prepare to kill him later" confuses me a bit.
Weft: We don't want him to die before he's supposed to.
Weft: Besides, collecting intel is useful for more than just killing him.
Anke: If he doesn't have a soul/destiny, how does anyone know when he's supposed to die?
Weft: He's supposed to die whenever I'm told to kill him. *nods*
Weft: If I found out of his secret love affair with a mermaid and then we threatened to tell Jaina if he didn't do what our diplomats told him, that would be using intel to AVOID killing him.
* Suitov chokes
Anke: chokes with what?
Herm: Shock.
Anke: That Weft would come up with an idea like that, or that HE HAS FOUND OUT?
Herm: XD
Suitov: ...I choose not to comment.
Anke: Also, yay, shark egg: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Oeufs002b,55.png
Herm: <3 sharky eggy. There was a documentary over here about baby sharks (in species that have live births) - fascinating and cute.
Sylvie: I thought mermaids didn't have sex, going for fertilisation of eggs outside the body... But that may have been elsewhere.
Weft: You know, I don't really want to think about it too closely.
***Anke reads up on intrauterine cannibalism. ooooo, interesting
Herm: I know! Socute! <3
Weft: The whole part where I imagine Suitov naked is not so attractive.
Weft: Not to mention naked moster-women.
Weft: I've seen enough of those to last a lifetime or two.
Anke: ah?
Weft: I wish monsters would wear more clothes.
Anke: good point
Weft: Or the ones who wear SOMETHING, wear something more shapeless.
Weft: That genie... *shudders*
Sylvie: clothes are a bit unpractical when swimming
***Anke imagines a male genie with a rather outstanding codpiece now.
Weft: ...We didn't meet a male one. But the female one didn't even have... I mean, she had PAINT. And a few jewelled chains. And GLITTER.
Anke: I thinnk I'm familiar with the general fashion.
Suitov: The males are much the same, I've heard.
Anke: Weft probably doesn't want to see this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Oderus-urungus-04.jpg
Suitov: Yes, that's comparatively fully-clothed.
Anke: Sylvie might have a thing for body paint... more in temporary decoration than replacing clothes, though.
Suitov: What a delightful mask. Reminds me of the tribe we met in...
Weft: The ones who tried to buy Ferrl?
Suitov: That was amusing.
Anke: Was it?
Suitov: Oh yes.
Weft: Well, it was brief and destructive.
Anke: I take it Ferrl objected.
Suitov: *has an expression like he's fondly reminiscing*
Weft: Actually, she burst out laughing.
Sylvie: Good for her. :/
Weft: It wasn't really...
Weft: Turned out it was some insult or something to them.
Pro tip: Don't come after a startled battle-mage when armed with flintlock rifles. She won't like it.
Sylvie: ... and PEOPLE that share characteristics with fish. Not everything that lives in the sea is food. >:|
Anke: You definitely need to tell me more about those merfolk...
Suitov: I'm from a landlocked country. For me [squid] they're curiosities.
Weft: They're nummy as long as they're cooked right. Deep-fried tentacle can be pretty gross.
Anke: deep-fried tentacle - you know, rings in batter - are the only kind I might maybe try...
Weft: Sure, if you want to destroy the texture and flavour. It's best when it's so fresh it's practically still wriggling.
Siri: UGH! *caught the last part of that conversation and runs off, hands over ears*
Sylvie: Oh, no- That's locusts you're thinking of.
Suitov: Oh, yes.
Weft: ........you are SO not helping your "not a lizard" image here, lordship.
Sylvie: ... or so they say. I prefer them roasted. :)
Suitov: I've tried them very lightly toasted and salted with... something. I didn't bother getting the recipe, but it wasn't bad.
Sylvie: chili's alway good for seasoning
Anke: Well
Anke: I had a hunch that she likes talking about food. I might have to read up on recipes...
Suitov: Surely you don't get many locust swarms on the Islands, do you?
Anke: And on locusts. :D
Herm: Was playing a pirate-themed D&D game once, and a huge swarm of locusts came bombing out of a harbour and towards our ship, making for the tasty-looking sails. That was a great game.
Sylvie: Well, grasshoppers and things... My vocabulary may be lacking a bit.
Weft: Locusts don't happen in civilisation. I have a hunch they happen in like stupid farming places that don't count.
Anke: * everybody is speechless at the city-monk who doesn't know where food comes from *
* Weft looks sulky
Sylvie: "Stupid farming places" grow your food.
Weft: Nuh-uh, food comes from the fish market.
Basaltine: .... At least that's better than "food comes from the tin my owner opens"...
Sylvie: How does the food come to the fish market?
Weft: *as if this is the stupidest thing he's ever heard* By wagon and barge.
Sylvie: Where do the wagons and barges get the food?
Weft: It gets put on them.
Sylvie: Where does it come from before it gets pu on the vehicles?
Weft: Workers or slaves or someone bring it I guess.
Sylvie: Where do they get it?
Weft: I don't know. That's their job.
Sylvie: Fish is caught in the sea or river or lakes. Grain or vegetables or fruit are grown on farms. Poultry or any other animals killed for meat are raised on farms, too.
Weft: That sounds inefficient.
Zashta: It's more efficient to raise them than than trying to catch wild birds or goats. And the meat is better, too.
Weft: But can't they... just... drop from the sky or something?
Weft: Like in the scriptures.
Anke: I guess you need to complain to your gods about that.
Weft: I... think I'll just keep going to the market.
***Anke wonders if [Weft] he knows where milk comes from
Weft: Beef farms.
Anke: Well done! :D
Weft: I don't know why they store it with the beefs, but they do.
Sylvie: Do women of your species breast-feed their babies?
Weft: How would I know?
Sylvie: ah, sorry, I should have thought of that.
Suitov: Incidentally, they do.
Sylvie: Milk is something some female animals - including, er, beefs, and humans - produce to feed their offspring before that offspring can handle normal food.
Weft: Yes, and they buy it from the beef market.
Sylvie: Unless you get euphemistic milk from bulls, which is different...
Suitov: More difficult to extract and doesn't store for as long.
Sylvie: No, the people working on the beef farm collect it from the cows - that's "female beefs", and sell it to the beef market.
Weft: Wait, Suitov, how do YOU know what Instarrian women do with their babies?
Suitov: I asked.
Sylvie: Thanks.
Suitov: For next week's masterclass, Weft, I'll teach you how not to get kicked while extracting milk from female beefs.
Weft: Why would I want to know that. X(
Suitov: Because "make sure your hands are warm" is a good general rule for life.
Sylvie: ... * was about to say something along those lines*
* Sylvie is actually more familiar with goats, but, eh.
Suitov: Goats! *is likely to start a lengthy conversation about different breeds and a study he once conducted on horn length and twist*
Sylvie: :)
Sylvie: I know in Raaji they have more long-haired breeds
Suitov: What's the terrain like there?
Sylvie: Mountainous for the most part. The south-east a bit less so, but over all, definitely.
Sylvie: And cold winters, meaning furs and wool are rather useful.
Suitov: I ask because the Montuone Longhorn has a particular feature of the [blah blah blah]
* Weft wishes he belonged to someone who hates everything and never goes out or approaches strange, potentially dangerous beasts
Sylvie: The four-horned rams looked rather interesting.
Anke: *heh*
Anke: I think *someone* should write a monograph on the topology of thistle leaves. They are awesome!
Weft: ...I could tell you anecdotal evidence of how it's like to land in a huge bed of them...
Anke: They're more awesome when not crushed
Weft: Coincidentally, so am I.
Anke: XD
Anke: ... also XD at EchoBazaar... If you have a Ruthless Henchman, that unlocks an opportunity card that among other things lets you give him dancing lessons.
Herm: ...omg MUST OWN
Weft: Suitov.
Suitov: Weft?
Weft: Thank you for never sending me to dancing lessons.
Anke: You're well-behaved enough, I guess.
Suitov: And a more-than-adequate dancer.
* Nico gives Daaren an impromptu dance lessons to distract him from being homesick.
Anke: He does OK, as long as his partner doesn't expect him to lead...
* Suitov looks at Weft in case he wants to join in
* Weft offers him a dagger, handle first
* Suitov gets the message and gives up
Anke: whee!
Weft: He never lets me teach him dirty knife-fighting tricks. :(
Suitov: Someday.
Anke: When you have some spare time...
Suitov: Where I'm from, whoever knows the dance better leads. Or, if it's called, it doesn't matter.
***Anke wonders about Sylvie's reaction in case Weft would offer giving her self-defense lessons...
Weft: Why not?
Anke: That's what I'm wondering. XD
Weft: I'm not usually supposed to share my training, but then I'm not usually left with one client for this long.
Sylvie: *knowing* dirty tricks wouldn't only be useful to stick something sharp in someone dangerous, but also to defend against them, no?
Weft: Yes. I can't make him carry a new weapon around with him, and with someone that defenceless it'd be a BAD idea anyway, but he has that pocketknife with him anyway.
Anke: Getting bored?
Weft: It's getting to the point where it's worth trying to make him a bit less defenceless than say a new-born baby.
Sylvie: Well, magic does help with the defence a bit...
Weft: With most clients it's not worth the time, but you know how it is. You get attached and start thinking it'd be inconvenient if he dies, because you'd have to learn the habits of someone new.
Suitov: *ironic expression probably caught from Jaina* Well done, Weft. That isn't disconcerting at all.
Sylvie: No, I didn't know. Inteeresting. :)
Weft: You try being stuck with someone for this long.
Anke: how long is this long?
Weft: In total, I don't remember how long I'm with him. It's lots of his short-years, anyway.
Weft: And Divine help me, you just get used to the helpless face.
Anke: XD
Anke: Mutt, admit it, you just want to break my brain calling Swiff "helpless" ;)
Herm: He is... kind of... when he's asleep.
Anke: but knowing dirty knife-fight tricks wouldn't help then, either. :D
Suitov: That doesn't matter - if I never sleep! *beams*
Anke: OK, then do that.
Weft: ...please don't encourage him.
Suitov: Knowing you watch me sleep doesn't exactly help!
Anke: XD
Weft: It's the only time when you're not annoying!
Suitov: There was that time when I was knocked unconscious.
Weft: Ah, that was blissful.
Sylvie: Sounds like you might prefer getting used to someone else...
Weft: :(
Weft: ...*attempts to cover that up* Yes, that sounds like fun!
Weft: Learning a target's habits is sure easier when he HAS predictable habits.
Nico: Running after random interesting things is a habit!
Weft: Not if you don't do it at particular times of the day... *sadface*
Sylvie: But if anything might turn out interesting, not a very predictable one.
Suitov: *to Nico* They're so PICKY.
Nico: Aren't predictable habits like that a security risk, because they provide convenient time for attacks?
Weft: Well yes, that's why I wish he had them, so I could report on them.
Anke: I think the whole "protect him now, prepare to kill him later" confuses me a bit.
Weft: We don't want him to die before he's supposed to.
Weft: Besides, collecting intel is useful for more than just killing him.
Anke: If he doesn't have a soul/destiny, how does anyone know when he's supposed to die?
Weft: He's supposed to die whenever I'm told to kill him. *nods*
Weft: If I found out of his secret love affair with a mermaid and then we threatened to tell Jaina if he didn't do what our diplomats told him, that would be using intel to AVOID killing him.
* Suitov chokes
Anke: chokes with what?
Herm: Shock.
Anke: That Weft would come up with an idea like that, or that HE HAS FOUND OUT?
Herm: XD
Suitov: ...I choose not to comment.
Anke: Also, yay, shark egg: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Oeufs002b,55.png
Herm: <3 sharky eggy. There was a documentary over here about baby sharks (in species that have live births) - fascinating and cute.
Sylvie: I thought mermaids didn't have sex, going for fertilisation of eggs outside the body... But that may have been elsewhere.
Weft: You know, I don't really want to think about it too closely.
***Anke reads up on intrauterine cannibalism. ooooo, interesting
Herm: I know! Socute! <3
Weft: The whole part where I imagine Suitov naked is not so attractive.
Weft: Not to mention naked moster-women.
Weft: I've seen enough of those to last a lifetime or two.
Anke: ah?
Weft: I wish monsters would wear more clothes.
Anke: good point
Weft: Or the ones who wear SOMETHING, wear something more shapeless.
Weft: That genie... *shudders*
Sylvie: clothes are a bit unpractical when swimming
***Anke imagines a male genie with a rather outstanding codpiece now.
Weft: ...We didn't meet a male one. But the female one didn't even have... I mean, she had PAINT. And a few jewelled chains. And GLITTER.
Anke: I thinnk I'm familiar with the general fashion.
Suitov: The males are much the same, I've heard.
Anke: Weft probably doesn't want to see this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Oderus-urungus-04.jpg
Suitov: Yes, that's comparatively fully-clothed.
Anke: Sylvie might have a thing for body paint... more in temporary decoration than replacing clothes, though.
Suitov: What a delightful mask. Reminds me of the tribe we met in...
Weft: The ones who tried to buy Ferrl?
Suitov: That was amusing.
Anke: Was it?
Suitov: Oh yes.
Weft: Well, it was brief and destructive.
Anke: I take it Ferrl objected.
Suitov: *has an expression like he's fondly reminiscing*
Weft: Actually, she burst out laughing.
Sylvie: Good for her. :/
Weft: It wasn't really...
Weft: Turned out it was some insult or something to them.
Pro tip: Don't come after a startled battle-mage when armed with flintlock rifles. She won't like it.