the not so good side of cancer
i'm so scared that i'm going to die. this pain is unimaginable. it hurts to breathe. it brings me to constant tears. they smile and say it'll be ok. and she tells me to stop whining. but no one has any idea how i feel. yes i give off a very strong vision of a girl coping and happy. they dont know how i can be walking to the elevator and get a pain in my heart so strong it makes me want to fall over. they dont feel the constant headache that seems to last day and night. they dont see how i limp sometimes and how my leg will randomly give out causing me to stumble. most of all they tell me to suck it up and just take it with my shots. they dont feel the stab of the needles nor the burning sting of what they contain.
how can she just come in my room see my in obvious pain and proceed to critize me on the state of my room and say thats its a shame how junky it is. DAMMIT WOMAN FOR ALL YOU KNOW I COULD BE HAVING A FRICKIN HEART ATTACK!!! and all u care about is how bad my room is. How blind can you be?! How can you be so dumb to fall for my fake contentness?! It's obvious that I ache and am always so tired. Yet you wont acknowledge it when I tell you so. You suck at life!!!
i really want to put on a smile and say, "i'mma be ok. please dont worry" but the pain is so great. my body is so tired and i fear my hope is wearing (sp) away. please give me some encouragement and send up prayers. i yearn so much to feel better and smile all the time like i used to.........
God please help me.
how can she just come in my room see my in obvious pain and proceed to critize me on the state of my room and say thats its a shame how junky it is. DAMMIT WOMAN FOR ALL YOU KNOW I COULD BE HAVING A FRICKIN HEART ATTACK!!! and all u care about is how bad my room is. How blind can you be?! How can you be so dumb to fall for my fake contentness?! It's obvious that I ache and am always so tired. Yet you wont acknowledge it when I tell you so. You suck at life!!!
i really want to put on a smile and say, "i'mma be ok. please dont worry" but the pain is so great. my body is so tired and i fear my hope is wearing (sp) away. please give me some encouragement and send up prayers. i yearn so much to feel better and smile all the time like i used to.........
God please help me.