Working the right way around
Maybe I’ve been going about this the wrong, wrong way.
It could be that March is almost over, and so whatever it is that makes this month so dreadful is about to pass, because things are beginning to feel better.
I have not felt well at all. A few people know this in no uncertain terms because they’ve taken me for coffee or for breakfast and listened to my vain efforts at detoxifying my attitude. Patiently heard me rant about human-kind in general and particular humans in particular. For these listening friends, I am extremely grateful. It is a strange mix of feelings - to feel so miserable about my circumstances and at the same time, to feel blessed to have my misery accommodated in this way. But I want it to stop.
Maybe I’ve been going about this the wrong, wrong way.
I’ve been busy this first quarter of 2009. I am still serving as the president of the board of an organization referred to as an airshed “zone-in-formation”, a multi-stakeholder group that is developing an air quality monitoring and management plan. I am still serving as the vice-president one of the province’s environmental policy development forums and one the drafting team for Alberta’s new recommended clean air strategy. I am still the secretary of my car-sharing cooperative and community league. I am still co-manager of the provincial network of non-profit environmental organizations. And I’ve found myself installed as chair of the national network’s organizing committee for it’s annual general assembly that is convening in Edmonton this June.
There are a couple of other obligations that haven’t made the list, as well.
And everything turns out to be more work than previously thought.
I haven’t been blogging much.
Under these circumstances, the idea of blogging has felt unforgivably indulgent. A few people have mentioned that I haven’t been writing much at all. And it’s because, for the past 45 days, a report which I owe the Alberta Department of the Environment has not been written. My days are occupied discharging the duties outlined in the section above as the obligation to write an activity report for the calendar year 2008 hangs over me.
It almost feels like an illness. Like the prospect of writing this report is so dreadful that I can’t bring myself to broach it. And so much else seem so much more urgent.
But maybe I’ve been going about this the wrong, wrong way.
Maybe the way to start writing something I believe I don’t want to write is to simply start writing? If I can find my flow again, maybe writing will become easy?
It could be that March is almost over, and so whatever it is that makes this month so dreadful is about to pass, because things are beginning to feel better.
I have not felt well at all. A few people know this in no uncertain terms because they’ve taken me for coffee or for breakfast and listened to my vain efforts at detoxifying my attitude. Patiently heard me rant about human-kind in general and particular humans in particular. For these listening friends, I am extremely grateful. It is a strange mix of feelings - to feel so miserable about my circumstances and at the same time, to feel blessed to have my misery accommodated in this way. But I want it to stop.
Maybe I’ve been going about this the wrong, wrong way.
I’ve been busy this first quarter of 2009. I am still serving as the president of the board of an organization referred to as an airshed “zone-in-formation”, a multi-stakeholder group that is developing an air quality monitoring and management plan. I am still serving as the vice-president one of the province’s environmental policy development forums and one the drafting team for Alberta’s new recommended clean air strategy. I am still the secretary of my car-sharing cooperative and community league. I am still co-manager of the provincial network of non-profit environmental organizations. And I’ve found myself installed as chair of the national network’s organizing committee for it’s annual general assembly that is convening in Edmonton this June.
There are a couple of other obligations that haven’t made the list, as well.
And everything turns out to be more work than previously thought.
I haven’t been blogging much.
Under these circumstances, the idea of blogging has felt unforgivably indulgent. A few people have mentioned that I haven’t been writing much at all. And it’s because, for the past 45 days, a report which I owe the Alberta Department of the Environment has not been written. My days are occupied discharging the duties outlined in the section above as the obligation to write an activity report for the calendar year 2008 hangs over me.
It almost feels like an illness. Like the prospect of writing this report is so dreadful that I can’t bring myself to broach it. And so much else seem so much more urgent.
But maybe I’ve been going about this the wrong, wrong way.
Maybe the way to start writing something I believe I don’t want to write is to simply start writing? If I can find my flow again, maybe writing will become easy?