Fic: When We Were Children
All he wanted to do was hold Nick.
When Joe was a kid he had been under the impression that if he were to just simply hold his brother then Nick couldn’t get hurt. Nick would stay with Joe and Joe would know he was safe. It was a childish thing to think, Joe knew that, but whenever Nick was in trouble he always returned to that thought. Back then Nick would have difficulty sleeping because of thunderstorms and Joe would be there, crawling into his bed and holding him as if somehow he could make Nick better just by being close.
It was a childish thing to think.
But now when Nick could be heard wheezing in the next room, Joe couldn’t help but return to those thoughts. The diabetes made Nick incredibly weak when he was sick although he always pulled a brave face, never wanting to appear defeated. Joe remembered when Nick was tiny-when he was more curly hair than actual person-and when he would willingly accept Joe’s care. But now Nick was older and smarter, maybe even smarter than Joe although he would never let Nick know that.
And way too old to let his brother hold him.
Joe sat up in his hotel bed and tried to peek through the crack in the door to Nick’s room but his eyes were useless without his glasses. It was dark as well, way past midnight and maybe even a little before dawn. Now that Joe really thought about it he was pretty sure Nick hadn’t slept all night.
He fumbled with the blankets, untangling them from around his legs before tip-toeing into Nick’s room. He didn’t need his glasses to know where Nick was in the oversized hotel bed. Heavy breaths, scratchy and irregular, filled the room and Joe could just make out a lump in the bed. Nick was curled tight, pulled right up next to the table where multiple glasses of water sat.
Joe carefully crawled under the covers and reached out to touch Nick’s shoulder. Nick tensed for only a second in surprise before releasing a drawn out breath that turned into a coughing fit. The hacking noises made all of Joe’s childish feelings of love being able to cure all flood back to him. He moved in behind Nick and held him close, spooning his brother. They fit together so naturally which made Joe feel a little giddy but also a little sick. He decided not to focus on it too much.
Nick’s skin was burning when Joe touched him. He was uncomfortably hot against Joe’s body but he wasn’t going to let go. There was a sheen of sticky sweat cooling over Nick’s arms and neck which slightly fascinated Joe. He looked away and curled tighter around Nick. When the coughing ceased, easing into weak breaths, Joe placed his chin on Nick’s shoulder. His stubble scratched Nick’s smooth skin and he laid a gentle kiss against his brother’s jaw. Joe surprised himself with his own actions. He was affectionate with Nick a lot but the feeling it gave him was different from every other meaningless hug or peck on the cheek. He held his brother tighter and kissed his back, right below the neck.
“Don’t worry.” Joe was startled by Nick’s tiny murmuring. With sweat slicked fingers, Nick reached back and held Joe’s hand. Joe was intrigued by the gesture just as he had been when he looked at Nick’s shoulders and neck. He settled against Nick and squeezed his hand back. “I’ll be okay,” Nick promised and Joe somehow believed him this time. He slowly began to relax as Nick’s thumb traced patterns against Joe’s palm. Nick turned onto his side in order to wrap his arms around Joe and Joe eventually drifted off to sleep, allowing Nick to comfort him for once.