Journaling with a vengance!

[suicidology]

So like I was saying. Booze made me fat, and fat abe was sad. Stopped drinking so much, and became skinny as a result. Skinny Abe has more confidence than fat able, but still has some left over insecurity from being fat. Push ups and sit ups equal muscle. Muscle equals lean and sexy abe. Lean and sexy abe has unlimited confidence? I guess there's only one way to find out. Except it's hard to get motivated when my apartment is so cold and the floor is so hard and wooden. I just wanna curl up under my blankets and try to stay warm. Okay, time to add more shit to the list. Space heater, exercise mat, couch, new job, new car, and possibly a new place. The space heater, the mat, and possibly the couch could all be doable soon after I get back from minnesota. I'm hoping to get some money from my parents for christmas. They asked me what I wanted, and all I said was money. I told them straight out that anything else I got for gift would probably just be sold since I'm so strapped for cash right now. Seems like kind of a dick thing to say when I see it typed out like that. Though I suppose it would be even more of a dick thing to do to accept gifts and then turn around and sell them later. My mom seemed to at least appreciate that I have my priorities in order, and that I'm not wasting what little money I have on things like booze and video games. Though don't think I wouldn't like to waste money on those things. Video games at least, no thanks to the booze. Part of the reason I'm dreading going home for christmas is because I'm gonna be basically obligated to drink. I say that because everybody in my family drinks, and they're gonna be shoving drinks in my face all night every night. Its not like I'm worried about resisting temptation. It's more like I know I'm going to get extremely annoyed with saying "no thanks, I don't really drink these days" over and over again to my drunk family. Specifically my brother. Haha, I'm probably going to have to pretend to be super drunk just to get him to leave me alone. When in reality I'll just be pouring my drinks in the nearest potted plant or down the bathroom sink. I just thought of another thing to add to my list. I need some new clothes. I've gotten sick of a lot of my clothes, and even more of them are too big for me now that I've lost like 40 pounds. Its gotten to the point where I feel like I have two sets of uniforms. My work clothes which consist of 2 short sleeve shirts, 3 long sleeve shirts, and 2 pairs of pants. Then there's my everyday clothes which consists of many t shirts, and the same 2 pairs of pants I wear for work... Yeah, I think I need to work in a little more variety. I don't want friends to look at me and think I'm heading off for work when really I'm head out for a date. That's another luxury though. Space heater, exercise mat, and couch are all more important. We'll see if I have any money left after all those things. I've lost my train of thought now because a guy has been in the store looking through movies for the last 30 minutes or so. I put my phone away because I wanted to seem professional, but now I'm just saying fuck it. Time for another posting so I don't lose anything

Posted via m.livejournal.com.