Issues of the heart weigh heaviest on the mind...
Lastnight i felt complete again. Everything i could want was here and i cherished every second of it...
Today i felt as if i shouldn't have woken up. For one, i could have died happy. Two, i wouldn't be feeling the way i am now... It's a personal matter, so respecting me as well as them, i'll leave it personal, but i do have to say, the feeling of extreme happiness, and then being extremely sad in a matter of seconds is kinda like a cross between being shot in the face, and your Mom dying on your birthday.. I'm over it though. I just have to learn to not care. I'm not good at that, but im trying. I still love the person immensely, but i guess theres a difference between loving them, and caring. I need to close myself off and make myself numb to the situation. It's ok... Really. I'm just jealous and being stupid. That's me. You know me... Stupid, jealous, Chris. Disposable and not worth the time and effort.
Ugh! I feel fucking wonderful! Such a nice pleasant day. One of those days to take on the world and do something productive and be happy and spread the joy... But no. I think i'll go to sleep and try really hard not to wake up.
Today i felt as if i shouldn't have woken up. For one, i could have died happy. Two, i wouldn't be feeling the way i am now... It's a personal matter, so respecting me as well as them, i'll leave it personal, but i do have to say, the feeling of extreme happiness, and then being extremely sad in a matter of seconds is kinda like a cross between being shot in the face, and your Mom dying on your birthday.. I'm over it though. I just have to learn to not care. I'm not good at that, but im trying. I still love the person immensely, but i guess theres a difference between loving them, and caring. I need to close myself off and make myself numb to the situation. It's ok... Really. I'm just jealous and being stupid. That's me. You know me... Stupid, jealous, Chris. Disposable and not worth the time and effort.
Ugh! I feel fucking wonderful! Such a nice pleasant day. One of those days to take on the world and do something productive and be happy and spread the joy... But no. I think i'll go to sleep and try really hard not to wake up.