(no subject)
I attempted months ago and obviously failed. Pills. Hardcore caffeine/diet pills. My blood pressure was 210/205 with a heartbeat of 145 and I am healthy as can be now. Why? Because I'm a failure. Happiness doesn't come often and if it does it's immensely short-lived and useless. I don't know what to live for anymore. My ultimate life goal is to be a criminal profiler for the FBI and that used to be enough for me to live for. I used to tell myself to move past it just a little longer so I can get to that point in life... but lately even that's not enough to live for. And it hurts. Sucks a lot because I have to convince myself DAILY to live one more day... just try life out again. I don't know what to do anymore...