(no subject)
So I took all my anger and frustration and went running. 3.5 miles in 30 minutes but I started feeling dizzy so I didn't push for 4. Plus, it's been 3 months, I think I can forgive myself XD Down to 164 lbs!
I also hung out with Pammit most of the day. We swam and she bribed Alex to come over...I think I was the bribe though. Oh well, I got to get a new perspective on things and I think it helped. It at least gives me other possibilities to consider and it feels good talking to someone who at least as SOME background in it.
So yeah. Onto yesterday...
Yesterday was officially one year since I got kicked out. I bought some Mead to give to Odin in thanks and had planned to go home, nap, shower and do ritual. I get home and as I'm walking in the door, there's a guy walking out in a tank top with a huge Thor's Hammer tattooed on his arm. The timing was just too perfect because he was putting on a shirt, and leaving. I wouldn't have seen the Hammer at any other point. Apparently I caught his eye too, because he asked for me when he came back. So I went down and was hanging out with him and my cousin. Turns out he's 18 and has been pretty serious into the Norse stuff for years. He tried to carve a Triple Horn into his leg years back. He also knew his stuff enough that he debated the Runes and Tyr with me. So I was kinda impressed, he knew a lot more than I did about it at that age. I also learned that he really had no need to be at my house. He was helping my cousin's bf film a movie, but his part was rescheduled because they couldn't film in the location they needed to. So he hung around for hours without being needed. I have no clue what it means, but the timing and the day was just too perfect.
Anyway, when they finally cleared out I took my shower and got the mead out. I managed to cut myself on the cap because it wouldn't come off (this is the third offering to Odin that I've hurt myself on). I pour some for myself and my aunt to try and take the majority of the bottle outside to offer. Since it was so late at this point, I decide not to start a fire and do a long ritual like I had planned. Instead I walked out into the dark and just talked. I offered to a few different aspects of Odin I work with. I talked a bit, and waited a bit, then walked back inside. Then my aunt dragged me out to look for shooting stars.
So we're outside, and I'm chit-chatting with Odin in my head. I feel his presence and think nothing of it. I keep talking with him. My aunt randomly goes "Do you feel spirits?" I asked her to clarify, saying sometimes I can and she says that she feels something there and motions to the area where I feel Odin and she says she sees a grey mist and spider webs (I don't know what the webs have to do with...but it reminds me of Blue talking about animals you're afraid of being your totem animals and since I read that, I've seen spiders at different points including earlier this night, after making my offering). So I tell her that it's where I sensed Odin and she was...intrigued and I think a little scared. Then after awhile I don't feel Odin so much, but more a colder...yet somewhat Odin like presence and she goes "Does he have a big dog?" I replied that he had wolves and she said she felt one by her.
We did see some shooting stars. She saw three, I saw about five. Some of them were oddly timed with my conversation with Odin. Like the one where I asked if he'd be around for awhile (I actually asked him to stay during the offering) and a star went by.
It was an interesting night. It's been an interesting year too. I'm really happy how things are going, and even though it's rough and I freak out - I like where my life is headed. Looking at it, I'm still kind of awed that I asked Odin to stay without hesitation, but I think I've made progress in that respect too. I'm cool with what we have, and Matt made a really good point to me - one of his names has to do with Furious One, and maybe sometimes it's okay that I get mad at him and scream. I know that I've always admired Odin and I know what he can teach me and I love to learn.
I do however think it is time to work on making attachments with other gods too. I think my offering at Lughnassagh was timed well.
Edit to add:
Fuck yeah! A in Deaf Culture and a B in Spanish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *dance*
I also hung out with Pammit most of the day. We swam and she bribed Alex to come over...I think I was the bribe though. Oh well, I got to get a new perspective on things and I think it helped. It at least gives me other possibilities to consider and it feels good talking to someone who at least as SOME background in it.
So yeah. Onto yesterday...
Yesterday was officially one year since I got kicked out. I bought some Mead to give to Odin in thanks and had planned to go home, nap, shower and do ritual. I get home and as I'm walking in the door, there's a guy walking out in a tank top with a huge Thor's Hammer tattooed on his arm. The timing was just too perfect because he was putting on a shirt, and leaving. I wouldn't have seen the Hammer at any other point. Apparently I caught his eye too, because he asked for me when he came back. So I went down and was hanging out with him and my cousin. Turns out he's 18 and has been pretty serious into the Norse stuff for years. He tried to carve a Triple Horn into his leg years back. He also knew his stuff enough that he debated the Runes and Tyr with me. So I was kinda impressed, he knew a lot more than I did about it at that age. I also learned that he really had no need to be at my house. He was helping my cousin's bf film a movie, but his part was rescheduled because they couldn't film in the location they needed to. So he hung around for hours without being needed. I have no clue what it means, but the timing and the day was just too perfect.
Anyway, when they finally cleared out I took my shower and got the mead out. I managed to cut myself on the cap because it wouldn't come off (this is the third offering to Odin that I've hurt myself on). I pour some for myself and my aunt to try and take the majority of the bottle outside to offer. Since it was so late at this point, I decide not to start a fire and do a long ritual like I had planned. Instead I walked out into the dark and just talked. I offered to a few different aspects of Odin I work with. I talked a bit, and waited a bit, then walked back inside. Then my aunt dragged me out to look for shooting stars.
So we're outside, and I'm chit-chatting with Odin in my head. I feel his presence and think nothing of it. I keep talking with him. My aunt randomly goes "Do you feel spirits?" I asked her to clarify, saying sometimes I can and she says that she feels something there and motions to the area where I feel Odin and she says she sees a grey mist and spider webs (I don't know what the webs have to do with...but it reminds me of Blue talking about animals you're afraid of being your totem animals and since I read that, I've seen spiders at different points including earlier this night, after making my offering). So I tell her that it's where I sensed Odin and she was...intrigued and I think a little scared. Then after awhile I don't feel Odin so much, but more a colder...yet somewhat Odin like presence and she goes "Does he have a big dog?" I replied that he had wolves and she said she felt one by her.
We did see some shooting stars. She saw three, I saw about five. Some of them were oddly timed with my conversation with Odin. Like the one where I asked if he'd be around for awhile (I actually asked him to stay during the offering) and a star went by.
It was an interesting night. It's been an interesting year too. I'm really happy how things are going, and even though it's rough and I freak out - I like where my life is headed. Looking at it, I'm still kind of awed that I asked Odin to stay without hesitation, but I think I've made progress in that respect too. I'm cool with what we have, and Matt made a really good point to me - one of his names has to do with Furious One, and maybe sometimes it's okay that I get mad at him and scream. I know that I've always admired Odin and I know what he can teach me and I love to learn.
I do however think it is time to work on making attachments with other gods too. I think my offering at Lughnassagh was timed well.
Edit to add:
Fuck yeah! A in Deaf Culture and a B in Spanish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *dance*