Once you go black, you never go back ;)
The one thing I hate about Hair Dye as opposed to Henna is as I wait for it to take, it fucking itches! Though it covers better, and doesn't smell like grass and doesn't look like poop. Heh.
When I was gathering my dying supplies my aunt was complaining about me dying my hair black (this is par for the course for anything I do to my hair, or piercings). Anyway, I go "Not your hair." She said she knew and that she wished she had the balls to do what I do to my hair all the time. o.0 It's hair, it grows back, it grows out and you can always change the color. It's not a tremendous feat. I am a little sad to be parting with my red, I love it, I know I look good in it, and I've had it for 6ish years now? I also know Chris prefers red-heads and Jeff did (dunno if he still does). So yeah, I worry. I get tons of compliments on my red hair daily at work, so I worry. But whatever. It's still me.
I'm the rebel of the family, and that's a bit scary...cuz I'm a pussy. I think I need to step it up and just say "Fuck it, this is what I want to do," a bit more.
Okay, my dad's always been an ass. I'm still waiting on a treehouse and umpteen other empty promises from my childhood. Not to mention all the verbal and emotional abuse from gradeschool (somewhat) and High school (mainly).
Whatever, I gave him another chance when I moved out. He was coming around. Taking me out to lunch. Coming over to help fix up the house. He was being a decent human being, and a good father.
Then I move back here. The assholery starts. He starts playing his games, saying he'll be around at certain times and showing up about an hour or more late. Then he stops coming around. Then, when asked to take me downtown for jury duty (he works downtown, so he would drop me off on my way in - pollute less, not to mention not worrying about parking, money, etc). He says sure. Then makes me half an hour late to work because he was late coming over...and it turns out he has a map...to show me how to ride the rapid from BEREA to Downtown. Wtf? Why don't I just drive to the end of the street and take the bus? Why would I drive to Berea? Not the point...the point was that he was all proud of himself for taking the first day of my jury duty off so he could teach me to ride the Rapid and ride it down with me and show me where to go. Wow, thanks. I'm sure the rapid is more difficult to figure out then the subway from Newark to Manhattan. Right. Anyway...
Then, he tells me aunt today that I'm an adult and so he's not buying me anymore presents. Now, it's not the 'no more presents' thing that bothers me. It's the fact that last year he spent a TON on Chris and I buying us cookware, knives, etc. But now, he can't even buy his daughter a gift. So I'm shit now that I'm on my own again? Apparently he does like my boyfriends more, at least Chris and Jeff.
So fuck him. I thought he was trying, and he's not. So I'm not going to put the effort in. It's a two way street and I finally can say that I don't deserve this. I never did, but I don't anymore especially.
It's bad enough I got dumped for crap reasons, and the fact that it wasn't worked out in a better manner. Because frankly all the reasons I was told could've been dealt with. I'm sorry, but I do believe this. And maybe the will. Maybe I'm a sucker for giving him another shot...or maybe it's the right thing to do. I don't know, and I won't know until it's said and done.
However, I don't need to get my nose rubbed in the fact that I'm not in my own house. I don't need to be treated like I'm only good enough as the guy I date. Fuck you if you think that. I don't need this shit. I'm awesome and if you can't think that of your own flesh and blood. Your only child, then screw you. I've tried being a tomboy, I've tried being a girly girl and I've tried just being me. Whatever. I'm me, accept that or GTFO.
When I was gathering my dying supplies my aunt was complaining about me dying my hair black (this is par for the course for anything I do to my hair, or piercings). Anyway, I go "Not your hair." She said she knew and that she wished she had the balls to do what I do to my hair all the time. o.0 It's hair, it grows back, it grows out and you can always change the color. It's not a tremendous feat. I am a little sad to be parting with my red, I love it, I know I look good in it, and I've had it for 6ish years now? I also know Chris prefers red-heads and Jeff did (dunno if he still does). So yeah, I worry. I get tons of compliments on my red hair daily at work, so I worry. But whatever. It's still me.
I'm the rebel of the family, and that's a bit scary...cuz I'm a pussy. I think I need to step it up and just say "Fuck it, this is what I want to do," a bit more.
Okay, my dad's always been an ass. I'm still waiting on a treehouse and umpteen other empty promises from my childhood. Not to mention all the verbal and emotional abuse from gradeschool (somewhat) and High school (mainly).
Whatever, I gave him another chance when I moved out. He was coming around. Taking me out to lunch. Coming over to help fix up the house. He was being a decent human being, and a good father.
Then I move back here. The assholery starts. He starts playing his games, saying he'll be around at certain times and showing up about an hour or more late. Then he stops coming around. Then, when asked to take me downtown for jury duty (he works downtown, so he would drop me off on my way in - pollute less, not to mention not worrying about parking, money, etc). He says sure. Then makes me half an hour late to work because he was late coming over...and it turns out he has a map...to show me how to ride the rapid from BEREA to Downtown. Wtf? Why don't I just drive to the end of the street and take the bus? Why would I drive to Berea? Not the point...the point was that he was all proud of himself for taking the first day of my jury duty off so he could teach me to ride the Rapid and ride it down with me and show me where to go. Wow, thanks. I'm sure the rapid is more difficult to figure out then the subway from Newark to Manhattan. Right. Anyway...
Then, he tells me aunt today that I'm an adult and so he's not buying me anymore presents. Now, it's not the 'no more presents' thing that bothers me. It's the fact that last year he spent a TON on Chris and I buying us cookware, knives, etc. But now, he can't even buy his daughter a gift. So I'm shit now that I'm on my own again? Apparently he does like my boyfriends more, at least Chris and Jeff.
So fuck him. I thought he was trying, and he's not. So I'm not going to put the effort in. It's a two way street and I finally can say that I don't deserve this. I never did, but I don't anymore especially.
It's bad enough I got dumped for crap reasons, and the fact that it wasn't worked out in a better manner. Because frankly all the reasons I was told could've been dealt with. I'm sorry, but I do believe this. And maybe the will. Maybe I'm a sucker for giving him another shot...or maybe it's the right thing to do. I don't know, and I won't know until it's said and done.
However, I don't need to get my nose rubbed in the fact that I'm not in my own house. I don't need to be treated like I'm only good enough as the guy I date. Fuck you if you think that. I don't need this shit. I'm awesome and if you can't think that of your own flesh and blood. Your only child, then screw you. I've tried being a tomboy, I've tried being a girly girl and I've tried just being me. Whatever. I'm me, accept that or GTFO.