The Weight Of Daylight
X:: we shed our blood like one and frailtys all we get ::X
Dont forget to breathe
One Shallow Heart
The cuts sting
And the alchohal doesnt help
Tears are burning whats left of my eyes
My heart has lost its depth
And I cant remember what its like to breathe
Your killing me
And you dont seem to notice
Expectations were all lost
In the hurt process
An ongoing battle, of blood and tears
Your killing me
Stabbing the most vulnerable parts of myself
Slicing the thinnest skin i can find
And my emo habits draw me in
A slightly pleasurable lure
Tempation is ruining me
My vision is demented
And i cant see you
Not anymore
I try to step nearer
but you trip me to my death
Your Killing me
With a smile on your face, you slowly walk away
And i have never cried so many hours
Never bled so many nights
You disect my soul, into pieces easily shattered
And all i want is what i lost
The love that is now an illusion
In this single moment of abuse
Hurt and Disinigration
Everyone else sees it as miniscule,
Un-needed, Trivial, and Optical
Nothing worth the heart i give
The heart you break
And Your killing me
My bruises are noticable
As are my breaks
I cannot bend anymore
I reach out into vast nothing
I grab for anything, anything thats there
And to my disbelief you do not care
This was all in your sceme
Your killing me
To be the death of me,
I knew you would
But we were to die together
You shallowed my heart
And ate my pride
You couldnt even stay to hear my last breath
I suppose you were too busy killing me
-chelsea marie 7-5-05
I am now an active cutter again...And i hate myself for it. The scars are comforting but the scabbing and blood is disappointing yet envigorating all at the same time. I never thought id be back in this spot, not with me, not with him. All i can think about all day is the beautiful day i will die. And if it will be today, and how can i make it today. God i hate it. I wanna OD like i used to and i think maybe it will work, maybe if i give it just one more try. I mean, Whats the use in living, when theres no one to live wiht. I have adam, i know that, but right now he feels distant. And he doesnt seem to reach out anymore. To want me anymore. I just wish hed see how much i love him. or start to show how much he cared. I dont know if hell ever get it, but i wont give up on him. Ever. I love him. I really do.
"our friends will all make fun of us and well just laugh along beacause we know that none of them have felt this way" i miss him. I miss him so fucking much. God. Ugh...i think ima cry again AND I CANT DO THAT ANYMORE!!! ughhhhhh
**ill close my eyes then i wont see the love you dont feel when your holding me**
Dont forget to breathe
One Shallow Heart
The cuts sting
And the alchohal doesnt help
Tears are burning whats left of my eyes
My heart has lost its depth
And I cant remember what its like to breathe
Your killing me
And you dont seem to notice
Expectations were all lost
In the hurt process
An ongoing battle, of blood and tears
Your killing me
Stabbing the most vulnerable parts of myself
Slicing the thinnest skin i can find
And my emo habits draw me in
A slightly pleasurable lure
Tempation is ruining me
My vision is demented
And i cant see you
Not anymore
I try to step nearer
but you trip me to my death
Your Killing me
With a smile on your face, you slowly walk away
And i have never cried so many hours
Never bled so many nights
You disect my soul, into pieces easily shattered
And all i want is what i lost
The love that is now an illusion
In this single moment of abuse
Hurt and Disinigration
Everyone else sees it as miniscule,
Un-needed, Trivial, and Optical
Nothing worth the heart i give
The heart you break
And Your killing me
My bruises are noticable
As are my breaks
I cannot bend anymore
I reach out into vast nothing
I grab for anything, anything thats there
And to my disbelief you do not care
This was all in your sceme
Your killing me
To be the death of me,
I knew you would
But we were to die together
You shallowed my heart
And ate my pride
You couldnt even stay to hear my last breath
I suppose you were too busy killing me
-chelsea marie 7-5-05
I am now an active cutter again...And i hate myself for it. The scars are comforting but the scabbing and blood is disappointing yet envigorating all at the same time. I never thought id be back in this spot, not with me, not with him. All i can think about all day is the beautiful day i will die. And if it will be today, and how can i make it today. God i hate it. I wanna OD like i used to and i think maybe it will work, maybe if i give it just one more try. I mean, Whats the use in living, when theres no one to live wiht. I have adam, i know that, but right now he feels distant. And he doesnt seem to reach out anymore. To want me anymore. I just wish hed see how much i love him. or start to show how much he cared. I dont know if hell ever get it, but i wont give up on him. Ever. I love him. I really do.
"our friends will all make fun of us and well just laugh along beacause we know that none of them have felt this way" i miss him. I miss him so fucking much. God. Ugh...i think ima cry again AND I CANT DO THAT ANYMORE!!! ughhhhhh
**ill close my eyes then i wont see the love you dont feel when your holding me**