I would still die for *you*
Untitled 1
Emptiness and burning scars
Silence and speeding cars
Opposites that most attract
Nothing worse then a stabbed back
Blood that pools
Hurt that drowns
Standing up and falling down
Slammed and hit
Worthless shit
Things that mean nothing
Lies and promises
All the same
Anything to ease the pain
Drugs can kill
But so can you
Every word I speak is honest and true
Injury swift and sweet
Nothing I do makes for a successful defeat
But ill sit and lose
While you pick and choose
And leave me haggard
Burnt and charred
Leave me nothing
Hollow…and empty
Just a little something i wrote. Im happy that i did. I needed to get shit offa my chest. I saw emily's new picture and it almost brought me to tears, that girl is so beautiful, what if i never see her lay like that again. Will i ever feel her perfect embrace?? what about the comfort. Anyway, i have to stop thinking like that. I just feel really empty. Everythings pissin me off, and fucking with the way i think. I dont know. I just dont know anymore. I fear for so much. I cry all too often. And adam brings me my only smiles. Emily used too, but i dont talk to her anymore really. I miss seeing her when i first woke up and finally got to school, and the cute way shed run over to hug and kiss me goodbye, when she really didnt have time. Ugh. Shit sucks. I dont know. Fucking Rhode Island bitches trying to start shit some more. It all gets old.Why is there such thing as distance. As separation? God fucked up on that one. We should all live in one big house...EVERYONE..well everyone i love. And me. I hate feeling this way. God. How many people a day do you think i could disappoint. Tomorrows fathers day, oh how joyful, i can sit and watch my dad die. but i love the man, i really honestly do. I dont know. I hate that feeling of not knowing, i hate knowing the people i love most are so far. I hate knowing my past was nothing but fucked up, nothing but abuse.I hate seeing my scars, but yet i love knowing they are there. But what i hate more is knowing that now my journal is a fucking base for stupid people to vent there gay anger out on my issues. I feel like now i cant write honestly because some stupid little bitch is gonna have an issue with it. And thats not cool. My writing is my only safepoint. The only thing that saves me.And i will go insane if i cant write honestly. I hate feling watched. I hate it. And i dont hate many people. But i hate cassie. And honestly when she says connecticut sucks, it does,ive been saying that since i coudl talk. Since i been to detroit the first time, when i found the feeling of home, of safe, of right. But i cant have that. I cant have shit i need. I dont know what i did. Why is shit so hard. Why why WHY FUCKING WHY?!??!?!?! and here i sit, tears in my eyes, painfully writing what i feel, knowing it will only bring me more shit that i dont need. I miss pat. I wish he still lived at home, but then i dont. I think i just need a big brother little sister hug. And a place to cry. I need to smell his scent. So i know i have someone near me. But i wont, not for a long while. Well i guess until tomorrow, unless hes busy. I dont know. And i just kind of wish i could bleed to death. But yet not compeletly die. For when i really do die, i will live in emily's smile, in adams eyes, in pats heart, in brins wrists, in my fathers tears. Ill live with everyone who lived with me, who lived somewhere deep inside a little bit for me. I will smile at those who smile with fear. At those who dont know wht a meaninful smile is. I will smile at my emo kids, and my heart that broken, at my home thats cracked. Ill smile at all those perfect imperfections, so many others have. I write too much, but i need too. Oh well. I doubt many people will truly read this. But thats ok, as long as its not inside me anymore. Anyway i love you ....i love you dearly....*you all know who you are*
A little song for those of you who dont understand **bleed for you**
The cold concrete cuts against her back
And her spirit spills with blood onto the pavement
Hands tied so tight behind her neck
And a silence falls, and everything changes
And everything dies, to you nothing’s alive, to you anymore
I guess you've gotten more than you might have wanted
If I could take your pain away
I would scream for you
I would bleed for you
So you’ll never feel this way
Again when you’re in my arms
I would scream for you
I will bleed for you
She drowns herself until the images erase
But the skin is bruised all along her thighs
Nightmares repeat refrain the memories of pain
In mental photographs haunting all the time so
She shuts her eyes, to you she tries to hide
From you, she falls asleep into dreams where she is safe
If I could take your pain away
I would scream for you
And I’ll bleed for you
So you’ll never feel this way
Again when you’re in my arms
I would scream for you
I will bleed for you
Put the weight on my shoulders
And the pain in my heart
Tie the knots in my stomach and you’ll let it tear me apart.
So tear me apart.
So I could be everything you need
And this silence strips me bare,
and your body pins me down.
I've never been so scared to breathe,
afraid to make a sound.
And all I know is you'll never let me go..
Just kick and scream, bite and bleed,
and make believe it's all a dream.
-hidden in plain view
We shed our blood liek one..
Emptiness and burning scars
Silence and speeding cars
Opposites that most attract
Nothing worse then a stabbed back
Blood that pools
Hurt that drowns
Standing up and falling down
Slammed and hit
Worthless shit
Things that mean nothing
Lies and promises
All the same
Anything to ease the pain
Drugs can kill
But so can you
Every word I speak is honest and true
Injury swift and sweet
Nothing I do makes for a successful defeat
But ill sit and lose
While you pick and choose
And leave me haggard
Burnt and charred
Leave me nothing
Hollow…and empty
Just a little something i wrote. Im happy that i did. I needed to get shit offa my chest. I saw emily's new picture and it almost brought me to tears, that girl is so beautiful, what if i never see her lay like that again. Will i ever feel her perfect embrace?? what about the comfort. Anyway, i have to stop thinking like that. I just feel really empty. Everythings pissin me off, and fucking with the way i think. I dont know. I just dont know anymore. I fear for so much. I cry all too often. And adam brings me my only smiles. Emily used too, but i dont talk to her anymore really. I miss seeing her when i first woke up and finally got to school, and the cute way shed run over to hug and kiss me goodbye, when she really didnt have time. Ugh. Shit sucks. I dont know. Fucking Rhode Island bitches trying to start shit some more. It all gets old.Why is there such thing as distance. As separation? God fucked up on that one. We should all live in one big house...EVERYONE..well everyone i love. And me. I hate feeling this way. God. How many people a day do you think i could disappoint. Tomorrows fathers day, oh how joyful, i can sit and watch my dad die. but i love the man, i really honestly do. I dont know. I hate that feeling of not knowing, i hate knowing the people i love most are so far. I hate knowing my past was nothing but fucked up, nothing but abuse.I hate seeing my scars, but yet i love knowing they are there. But what i hate more is knowing that now my journal is a fucking base for stupid people to vent there gay anger out on my issues. I feel like now i cant write honestly because some stupid little bitch is gonna have an issue with it. And thats not cool. My writing is my only safepoint. The only thing that saves me.And i will go insane if i cant write honestly. I hate feling watched. I hate it. And i dont hate many people. But i hate cassie. And honestly when she says connecticut sucks, it does,ive been saying that since i coudl talk. Since i been to detroit the first time, when i found the feeling of home, of safe, of right. But i cant have that. I cant have shit i need. I dont know what i did. Why is shit so hard. Why why WHY FUCKING WHY?!??!?!?! and here i sit, tears in my eyes, painfully writing what i feel, knowing it will only bring me more shit that i dont need. I miss pat. I wish he still lived at home, but then i dont. I think i just need a big brother little sister hug. And a place to cry. I need to smell his scent. So i know i have someone near me. But i wont, not for a long while. Well i guess until tomorrow, unless hes busy. I dont know. And i just kind of wish i could bleed to death. But yet not compeletly die. For when i really do die, i will live in emily's smile, in adams eyes, in pats heart, in brins wrists, in my fathers tears. Ill live with everyone who lived with me, who lived somewhere deep inside a little bit for me. I will smile at those who smile with fear. At those who dont know wht a meaninful smile is. I will smile at my emo kids, and my heart that broken, at my home thats cracked. Ill smile at all those perfect imperfections, so many others have. I write too much, but i need too. Oh well. I doubt many people will truly read this. But thats ok, as long as its not inside me anymore. Anyway i love you ....i love you dearly....*you all know who you are*
A little song for those of you who dont understand **bleed for you**
The cold concrete cuts against her back
And her spirit spills with blood onto the pavement
Hands tied so tight behind her neck
And a silence falls, and everything changes
And everything dies, to you nothing’s alive, to you anymore
I guess you've gotten more than you might have wanted
If I could take your pain away
I would scream for you
I would bleed for you
So you’ll never feel this way
Again when you’re in my arms
I would scream for you
I will bleed for you
She drowns herself until the images erase
But the skin is bruised all along her thighs
Nightmares repeat refrain the memories of pain
In mental photographs haunting all the time so
She shuts her eyes, to you she tries to hide
From you, she falls asleep into dreams where she is safe
If I could take your pain away
I would scream for you
And I’ll bleed for you
So you’ll never feel this way
Again when you’re in my arms
I would scream for you
I will bleed for you
Put the weight on my shoulders
And the pain in my heart
Tie the knots in my stomach and you’ll let it tear me apart.
So tear me apart.
So I could be everything you need
And this silence strips me bare,
and your body pins me down.
I've never been so scared to breathe,
afraid to make a sound.
And all I know is you'll never let me go..
Just kick and scream, bite and bleed,
and make believe it's all a dream.
-hidden in plain view
We shed our blood liek one..