(no subject)
worked 12-5 today, i waz in the basement a lot of the day, coz i couldnt handle customers and certain ppl i waz working with. bailey and moose came in and saw me and we were gonna meet afta and get stoned, but didnt happen.I am soo fucked up at the moment i cant think straight.I have got the biggest gash on my arm i did this morning, it is bigger than i ever seen on any1 b4, i think it needs stitches, but who gives a fuck. I feel so alone like no-one care. i just need to get away, sumhow i have to.
Yesterday at work i lost it, i went to the toilets and just started smashing my head aginst the tiled walls. today i didnt i waz too busy trying to stop the blood leaking from my arm all over the place. One of my drs has been pretending 2 try and get me in2 a different psychiatrist, seeing as im refusing to see patterson, hes the biggest barstard.but convenietly all the psychs names he gives me arent taking any more patients. obviously pattersons has turned the whole dr lot against me.wtf, even with me paying they're not gonna see me,wtf am i suppose to do.no 1 cares about it and obvbiously my meds rnt working and i need new ones. but hey who gives a fuck, its not like i do and no1 else seems to. i cant explain what i am feeling at the moment, but trust me you wont want to know.i am getting worse then wen i waz in the psych hospitals.i cant even look at ppl know my eyes just stare straight through them. and its hard to understand ppl wen they speak, coz there words join together into one word. I dont know what to do,its not like any1 loves or cares about me.
Yesterday at work i lost it, i went to the toilets and just started smashing my head aginst the tiled walls. today i didnt i waz too busy trying to stop the blood leaking from my arm all over the place. One of my drs has been pretending 2 try and get me in2 a different psychiatrist, seeing as im refusing to see patterson, hes the biggest barstard.but convenietly all the psychs names he gives me arent taking any more patients. obviously pattersons has turned the whole dr lot against me.wtf, even with me paying they're not gonna see me,wtf am i suppose to do.no 1 cares about it and obvbiously my meds rnt working and i need new ones. but hey who gives a fuck, its not like i do and no1 else seems to. i cant explain what i am feeling at the moment, but trust me you wont want to know.i am getting worse then wen i waz in the psych hospitals.i cant even look at ppl know my eyes just stare straight through them. and its hard to understand ppl wen they speak, coz there words join together into one word. I dont know what to do,its not like any1 loves or cares about me.