are you still shaking out all the dead wood from your bed love

[suicide_doll]

with an increased paycheck come increased responsabilities. i don't really mind my job, but as of lately it leaves me mentally exhausted. i'm fed up with people talking shit behind everyone's back - some people spend their working hours doing just that. i don't mind some meaningless gossiping and i've complained about co-worker myself. but i don't care what goes on in their private life, it's none of my business. i'm trying to keep away from people who find it amusing but sometimes i just get stuck in the middle of it. i've learnt to pretend to listen, while my mind wanders. i just block out the voices, i give the occasional nod, the occasional laugh, the occasional disapproving look. but i don't listen really.
carnival has started. i've been out partying most nights for the past two weeks. and weekends are crazy.
i haven't seen a. in a while. he's been traveling a lot: russland, emirates, thailand. he's in las vegas right now. he always comes back with a suitcase full of visual pictures and crazy anectodes. i hate not being part of any of that. or maybe i just miss him. i'm cranky. i'm horny.