(no subject)
sometimes it's hard for me to feel pain. sometimes i need someone there to help guide me to the knife and place the blade near me. sometimes loving you is difficult, but i have to because it's in my bloody heart. i wish i didn't feel this way. so closed and unsafe. if my pretty gun shot far enough to new york city i think i'd be dead. there's a hideous carwreck outside my apartment window. it's devastatingly beautiful, like you. i don't think i can live anymore, so pull the trigger and i'll thank you in the morning, when the pill has worn off and there's no one there to give me CPR. the emergency room can't figure out your bathroom surgery, and neither can i. good nite moon. good nite stars. good nite midnight kisses of hating in love's farthest ditch on the road to hell heaven. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERIN. holy fuck.