Just let me go...Or this will break me.
Well my mom did'nt pay the cable bill so shitty dial up internet and no cable but thats okay I like reading more then TV anyways and I spend to much time on the computer. So I've been playin my bass a lot more I'm getting pretty good so that makes me happy.
I was looking at really old entries in this thing and I just like wow I was retarded for Tim and now it's kinda sad cause I can't remember a thing about our relationship how he made me feel even when he broke my heart it's like none of it ever happened.We don't even talk much anymore anyways but I was thinking about all of it well trying to remember it and I think I learnend a lot from it matured a lot from it though at times I was crying and miserable I'm glad it all happened I've learned that pain does go away whenever your ready to let it go and not to let anyone make you feel pathetic for not being over it in a day shit like that takes while to get over.But when your fully over it it really does'nt hurt at all anymore.You can't learn to "let things go" everyone always says that but thats not something you learn thats something that comes in time and rushing it and faking it just makes it worse and a lot harder.And people always try to fall right back into another relationship though they still have feelings for someone else like lying to yourself ever works.You only was your time and the others person time and fuck with there emotions.
Though I'm still very cold toward relationships and "love" but I think it just comes down to me finally figuring out that I never have been in love to say it sucks or I hate it.Maybe I was I don't know. I don't really care to know either...
Did I mention I haven't slept yet? And only slept about 4 hours yesterday...A lot of time to think. Hah like anyone will read it.
I was looking at really old entries in this thing and I just like wow I was retarded for Tim and now it's kinda sad cause I can't remember a thing about our relationship how he made me feel even when he broke my heart it's like none of it ever happened.We don't even talk much anymore anyways but I was thinking about all of it well trying to remember it and I think I learnend a lot from it matured a lot from it though at times I was crying and miserable I'm glad it all happened I've learned that pain does go away whenever your ready to let it go and not to let anyone make you feel pathetic for not being over it in a day shit like that takes while to get over.But when your fully over it it really does'nt hurt at all anymore.You can't learn to "let things go" everyone always says that but thats not something you learn thats something that comes in time and rushing it and faking it just makes it worse and a lot harder.And people always try to fall right back into another relationship though they still have feelings for someone else like lying to yourself ever works.You only was your time and the others person time and fuck with there emotions.
Though I'm still very cold toward relationships and "love" but I think it just comes down to me finally figuring out that I never have been in love to say it sucks or I hate it.Maybe I was I don't know. I don't really care to know either...
Did I mention I haven't slept yet? And only slept about 4 hours yesterday...A lot of time to think. Hah like anyone will read it.