the walls
I am afraid. And I mean really. I never expected that it would be this bad. Terrified and I can't help it. It's not like I don't trust him. He's the first in years. The first to break through. That's what I'm so scared about. The walls are slowly coming down. They're not supposed to do that. They're supposed to stay up for all eternity. The walls have been up for years, unpenatrably thick walls like those of the midevil cities I generally dream about. With dragon shields and everything. Then how can just one young man break through? I heard somewhere it's possible that it's just the friendship he's offering. I hounestly have to say it could be. I hounestly do not know. I just can't get over the fact that it's apperantly incredibly easy to break through something I've been working on for over ten years. I think I know why it's so easy for him though. At some level, I want him to break through. Or someone at least. And he is the first person to try. Gee, that would make him special, wouldn't it? heh, he would love that. He's worked his way inside my heart so fast that I would die for him, and I don't do that for a lot of people. Merely my brother and my bestest friends. And my brother is my best friend, so that narrows it down. But the point is, my walls are breaking down. It's like he got a sledgehamer and started working, and figured out halfway that a wreckingball is faster. I just know that if he ever leaves, my walls will go back up to never be broken again. Unpenetrable steel most likely. Which means that if he ever dares to hurt me, and he is one of the only ones who can, I will bring him down in the worst way possible. Mentally. But as long as he behaves, I will love him, just like I do my brother and my other best friend. For there is nothing more important then those in my heart. Not for me anyway. Because they took the time and made the effort to try.