SH 2013: for insuhouciance (1/2)

[suholiday]

For: insuhouciance
From: Your Secret Santa

Title: Fix You
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s)/Focus: Suho/Kai
Length: 20,441 words
Summary: Kai is a model, Suho is his manager. Jongin is in love and Junmyeon is basically the sole reason behind his confusion.
Warnings: Some sexual scenes
Notes: To my dear recipient, insuhouciance, first of all, despite how much I think this doesn’t fit much to the prompt(s) you gave, I still hope you’ll like it. I promise I will write you something good (if not better) next time. And maybe a little shorter and more concise. And happy. And beta-ed (sorry because this is not beta-ed huhu). Also, thanks to: (1) J for putting up with all my rants and basically going over //each// part of the story, telling me what’s wrong, bad, and good; (2) A noona because I swear I wouldn’t be able to write this without your help. I really really am so grateful and (3) C, G, R, and Y because you guys are always there during the darkest hours of the Suholiday writing process lol.


“But why did nobody tell me about this audition?” Junmyeon asks the moment he enters his office, furrowed brows displaying utter annoyance. Mondays shouldn’t start bad. No one wants to begin it with late news, late announcements, and late schedules because for Junmyeon at least, shifting schedules are a no-no for an owner of a growing modeling agency. As soon as Baekhyun, his assistant (who surprisingly has been with him for the past years and has tolerated his character only maybe because Junmyeon prioritizes good pay for his people), hands him the clipboard of this week and next week’s schedules, he hastily scans it. At each hurried flip Junmyeon does on every paper, Baekhyun flinches.

“Where is Kai?” Junmyeon asks as he continues to read on the papers, not looking at Baekhyun who slightly jumps on his place. Late news, late models. Mondays should not be really like this; he shakes his head in disappointment.

“H-he isn’t here yet, sir,” Baekhyun answers shakily, taking his phone out ready to call the model. “I will call him-”

“No. No need. I’ll do it,” Junmyeon says, waving a hand at Baekhyun. He throws the board on the table, mixing with the pile of papers on it. “Call Sehun instead. We have a photoshoot later. Wait, where is my coffee?” he then asks.

Baekhyun’s eyes grow wide and a tinge of panic shows on his face. “I-it should be here… somewhere?”

“Somewhere? I don’t see a cup of coffee anywhere!” Junmyeon exclaims, slamming a hand on the surface, sending a few of the papers falling to the floor. He groans, pulling the sleeves of his blazer to check his wristwatch. “Ten minutes past eight.”

“F-fifteen, sir,” Baekhyun corrects.

“Thanks?”

“You’re welcome, sir.”

There is a three-second awkward silence and Junmyeon’s lips pull to a frustrated, sarcastic smile. Baekhyun’s eyes grow wider, a little teary, and Junmyeon can notice how he starts to slightly tremble, all set to flinch, as if anticipating an angry “get the goddamn coffee” growl at him. Junmyeon laughs.

“You know what Baekhyun, I do not understand how you manage to live every single day with my shit but I really adore you for that-oh. Friday is free, we’ll get the auditions. Anyway, just get my coffee and I’ll be okay,” he says calmly while checking on his planner. It surprises Baekhyun, so much that despite how nice Junmyeon has suddenly transformed, he still shakes and jumps, crying a “Yes sir!” as he runs out of the office followed by a yell at his assistants, “Where the hell is the coffee! Get a coffee!”

Junmyeon chuckles, amused at how he can still find a way to be nice in a bad Monday morning. Well, a good day will depend on how he sees it anyway, he thinks. A good morning disposition will bring good things. Or maybe he should attribute it to the good news-that Jongin will be joining an audition next week for Alexander McQueen spring and summer collection. He rubs a thumb on his nose, excitement slowly pulling his lips to a smile. Finally, another break for his favorite talent. He turns around and takes his seat, fishes his phone out and dials Jongin’s number. It takes three unanswered calls before the other line picks up.

“Kai. Where are you?” Junmyeon asks, trying to sound calm because three missed calls can trigger his temporarily squashed displeasure for a ruined start of the week. He taps on his table as he waits for Jongin to respond.

“Hey Suho…” Jongin finally answers, voice cracked.

Junmyeon sighs. “Are you still in bed?”

“Slight?” Jongin says. “Why did you call?”

Junmyeon can hear soft ruffling sounds which he assumes are the covers of pillows or the blanket. He bites on his lower lip in frustration. “To remind you that today is a Monday and you should be in my office by eight in the morning. It’s twenty minutes past eight.”

Jongin laughs, groaning a bit as he pushes himself up the bed. “I thought you just want to hear my sexy, hoarse morning voice and imagine me in just boxers with morning wood which actually is my state right now.”

Junmyeon tsks and shakes his head. “I don’t really care if you have a raging hard on right now what I need is for you to be in my office because you’ll have an audition next week and I need to discuss with you the details now please get the fuck out of your bed and be here in fifteen minutes!”

“Fine fine!” Jongin yields, rolling to the edge of his bed, and sighs. “Fifteen minutes.”

“Good.”

“What about my hard-on?”

“See you later. Bye,” Junmyeon quickly says and drops the call. He gently throws his phone on the table and places his hand on the forehead, slowly massaging it. Calm down, Junmyeon. Calm down. This is gonna be a wonderful Monday. Really.

“Baekhyun! Where is my coffee!”

“Coming sir! Coming!”

“Fifteen minutes, eh?" Junmyeon quickly asks as soon as Jongin steps inside his office. He plops himself on the sofa, arms on the backrest, legs crossed as he chews on a gum. "Jerking off takes time. You should have known better."

"Not my problem," Junmyeon says a little straightforward, raising a brow as he scans the paper he needs to show to Jongin.

Jongin snorts, not that Junmyeon isn't normally like this when he is late (which is pretty much almost everyday), but he prefers a happy boss on a Monday morning. But then, it’s his fault why Junmyeon’s like this. But then, again, he's used to grumpy Junmyeon. He always is, anyway.

Jongin has always been Junmyeon’s favorite model, and they always have this manager-talent wake-up-and-get-off-your-bed argument almost everyday. Jongin’s used to it. And Junmyeon is, too. But they never stop doing it. It’s like an essential part of their relationship, a funny relationship which also began in a funny way.

It all started when Jongin was still a student with braided hair, a jackass who once tried to rob Junmyeon of his money outside his favorite cafe. It was late at night. Junmyeon just finished fixing papers for his then fledging modelling agency, when Jongin followed his easy victim as soon as they reached a few yards away from the cafe. But he never managed to declare a hold up because Junmyeon’s always had sharp reflexes. Junmyeon quickly turned, noticed Jongin, looked at him from head to toe, then bam. In a jiffy, he asked him to be a model with good pay, convincing him how good looking he was and that the braids on him didn’t really look that good. Jongin was apprehensive. He was scared yet he was curious so he said yes. Besides, this could be instant money. And he needed money.

It was really late but Junmyeon really was excited to bring Jongin to his studio, or to his office at least, that he successfully managed to persuade Jongin to be “fixed”, as what he would always say, in less than a minute.

Junmyeon’s office back then was small, several square meters of mess, papers, boxes, and a weird smell of mixed make-up, hair color, and new and old clothes. Jongin almost choked but he quickly adjusted, trying to breathe through his mouth until his nose is numb to the weird smell. He was made to sit in the middle and Junmyeon began undoing his braids. How he learned about it, Jongin was totally unsure, but Junmyeon was so skilled he was done almost halfway in a short time. Jongin was amused, locking his eyes on the stranger’s face all throughout the whole unbraiding. He could not help himself however from whimpering, flinching, and blushing when Junmyeon’s fingers would accidentally brush against his nape. Jongin could hear him chuckle at his reactions but he never stopped.

Soon, Jongin’s face was peppered by powder (he would sneeze almost endlessly at first and Junmyeon just laughed at him), clothes were thrown at him, and Junmyeon almost touched him in inappropriate places but with no malicious intent (or so Jongin thought). It took them almost an hour, ending at a little quarter past midnight, when Junmyeon told him they’re done. He was pulled to a huge mirror at the far end of the room.

“See, I fixed you. You look nice,” Junmyeon commented, holding Jongin by the shoulder. He glided his hand to Jongin’s side to fix some small creases before he clapped, exclaiming a “done”. Jongin had his mouth open in utter confusion. This is… me?

“Did you like it?” Junmyeon nervously asked, fiddling the hem of his polo with his fingers. Jongin blushed, slightly unsure if Junmyeon’s nervousness was part to blame for it, but the fact that he was dressed and made look like a total 360-degree change of himself, there was no way he could not feel so flustered and giddy about it. He felt excited. There was a funny roll inside his stomach and then he felt cool.

Junmyeon smiled. Jongin could not help but notice how wonderful Junmyeon’s smile is. For some reason it felt weird; they weren’t creepy, not uneasy. But whenever he did it, Jongin felt like he was being pulled closer to him. It was calm and bright, so genuine, like everything became ten times more comfortable, that they were no stranger to each other. It was also perfect, wonderful, beautiful that for a moment, Jongin wondered how this person would look like if he were to be dressed up like what he was.

“Th-thank you,” Jongin mumbled, shifting his gaze from Junmyeon’s eyes to his own reflection at the mirror. He really looked dashing; he couldn’t keep his amusement hidden. Junmyeon did a wonder.

“So, working for me?” Junmyeon asked, extending his arm for a handshake. Jongin was hesitant, mainly because he was shy but it would be rude to not return the gesture. He did not make Junmyeon wait.

“Jongin. People call me Kai.”

“Alright Kai. I’m Suho. Looking forward to working with you,” he gleefully said, and he smiled.

Jongin spent a little more time appreciating that smile.

“Asshole,” Junmyeon remarks, grinning at Jongin. He shakes his head, a pen in between his fingers. He points it at Jongin’s left arm, flicks it as if it’s a magic wand, and to his amusement, Jongin’s hand moves to its lap. He does it again until Jongin is seated prim and proper, both hands on his lap, knees together, back straight.

“There, fixed you. You look nicer,” Junmyeon says followed by a giggle.

“You enjoyed it a little too much, did you?” Jongin asks, lips pulled to show amusement. Junmyeon nods. He places his elbows on his table, arms raised, fingers intertwined together so that he can rest his chin on it. He looks at Jongin in the eye while Jongin does the same. They stay like that for a couple of seconds, like it’s a staring contest between them until somebody begins to twitch his face, raise a brow, stick his tongue out, and does funny faces to distract the other. Junmyeon pouts and that is when Jongin decides to shift his gaze, break his posture and go back to a lousy one, slinging his arms lazily on the backrest. “I hate you and I love you, Suho. Really.”

“I appreciate both the hate and the love,” Junmyeon answers promptly, dropping his pen back to the desk and starts to search for that folder he should be discussing with Jongin. When he finds it, he smiles and throws it at his model.

“Read that,” he orders.

“Right,” Jongin sighs, a disappointed one, shaking his head while he shifts his gaze from Junmyeon’s face to the folder that drops right in front of him. Left with no choice, he opens it and begins to read.

“So that’s the audition next week. You know Yixing, that guy we met from the Spring show last year? Yah. So he’s called me for an audition-”

“Hey Suho. Remember when I asked you if you were gay?” Jongin suddenly asks, out of the blue, and Junmyeon almost literally falls out of his seat. Jongin then laughs, totally amused at Junmyeon’s reaction.

“Why, of all topics, do you have to bring that back?” Junmyeon asks, distracting himself by fixing the mess of papers on his desk. His fingers begin to shake a lot and it bothers him, and the question as well.

Jongin laughs. “Nothing really. You’re so cute,” he kids. He laughs louder when Junmyeon makes a really loud snort while he repeatedly slams on his desk a half ream of papers he successfully compiles.

All of a sudden, there is a sound of camera shutter so loud Junmyeon has to pause from arranging his papers and darts a confused look at Jongin. But the younger doesn’t seem the least bothered getting caught saving a ninja candid shot of his boss in his phone, its camera obnoxiously pointed at Junmyeon’s face. He then bursts into laughter.

“I want that deleted when I come back,” Junmyeon says imperatively, shaking his head as he finally finishes his papers, shoving them back to the racks. Jongin stops laughing and watches as Junmyeon stands up, pulls the sleeves and checks the time. “Sehun has a photoshoot but I’ll be back right after. So go read over the audition papers and we’ll discuss about it later, okay?” he continues as he scurries down the exit. “Read!” he repeats when he notices Jongin not budge.

Left alone, Jongin sighs and pouts to himself. He drops to his side, turning so that he’s lying flat on the sofa. He throws his hands in the air and keeps it there, both hands holding his phone just above his face. He unlocks it and the candid shot of Junmyeon appears on the screen. There is a small tug at his chest which grows a little heavier at every second he stares at the photo. At some point, he would zoom it in and slowly drag it down, from Junmyeon’s forehead to his nose, pale cheeks, pouty lips, as if carefully examining his features. Jongin chuckles, realizing he may be acting creepy but then he’s alone so there is really no need to be conscious.

Junmyeon has become busy, in and out of the office at least thrice in a day, buried in papers and almost never-ending phone calls and meetings. It’s been quite a long time since they’ve gone out, no work, just them and their out-of-business personas. Things have changed a lot and Jongin isn’t really prepared, a little too late to adjust, he thinks. He tries to establish a specific point when it started happening, whether in general or just between them, the latter being much of a greater concern to him, but his mind gets fuzzy when he attempts to figure it out. Maybe he chooses not to adopt, hoping that things will stay the same as they were before (he refuses to believe that it’s his subconscious accepting reality). He is a favorite, he knows. If there is Junmyeon’s apple of his eye, it must be him. If there is one person in this company who’d be the closest to Junmyeon, it must be him. But he feels like there is a gap. He can’t perfectly point out what (and where these should come from) but there’s something missing.

He isn’t totally sure. Maybe he misses Junmyeon. Maybe...

“Did Suho leave yet?” Baekhyun suddenly appears, peeking at the door. He scans the room and when he sees Jongin, he yelps, not expecting to see him still inside.

Jongin is about to heave a sigh but Baekhyun surprises him. Air gets caught in his throat and Jongin chokes. His fingers lose grip of his phone and it drops right on his face, quickly curling, cringing at the pain.

“S-sorry!” Baekhyun says, a hand over his mouth when he sees Jongin slowly fall from the sofa, eyes closed and a little teary on the sides, still in a fetal position.

“Knock at least, Baekhyun. Knock on the fucking door,” Jongin groans, rubbing the pain on his forehead.

To Jongin’s delight, Junmyeon comes back to the office not so long after he disappeared with Sehun. As soon as he hears his voice (and the usual yell for his cup of coffee), Jongin fixes himself up, quickly grabs the folder, and takes one final scan, closing it only when he thinks he’s ready for the question and answer portion that might ensue.

Junmyeon enters his room in a rush, throwing his bag on his chair a little carelessly, and pauses right in front of Jongin. He exhales loudly as he pulls a hanky out of his jeans pockets and wipes sweat on his forehead. He seems to have ignored Jongin at first, tilting his head slightly to his side a few seconds later when he finally notices the other person.

“You’re still here?” Junmyeon asks and Jongin simply gives him an innocent look, round puppy eyes staring intently at his face. Jongin’s lips peel to a smile and he does his usual candid flash of teeth.

Junmyeon raises a brow, slightly weirded out. “What’s wrong?” he follows up. He puts both hands on the edge of the table to push himself up so that he’s sitting on it, legs crossed, arms folded across his chest. His eyes drop to the folder Jongin holds and his face suddenly shifts from bewilderment to a eureka moment, reminded of what he is supposed to do with Jongin. “Ah! Yes! That that,” he says, pointing at the papers.

Jongin chuckles. “Did Sehun give you a hard time? Your head’s a mess. Figuratively and literally. It looks good on you though. Bed hair. I like.”

Junmyeon laughs sarcastically, although he takes it a little seriously when he cards his fingers through his hair to fix it. “It was a painful photoshoot. We’re not gonna deal with that magazine again and I am not even the slightest sorry,” he rolls his eyes as he speaks. “Anyway, let’s not talk about it. Have you read the auditions?”

“Yes,” Jongin answers promptly and proudly.

Junmyeon jumps from his seat and takes the seat next to Jongin. Then he starts discussing what the audition is all about.

Jongin chooses not to listen, not that it’s going to be a problem since the first part of the talk is usually a reiteration of what the papers are all about. He spends the first few minutes looking at Junmyeon, observing the changes in his face like the dark circles around his eyes, the chaps of his lips, the thickness of the powder on his cheeks, the design of the studs on his ears. Sometimes he tries to identify the perfume Junmyeon wears, the brand of polo and jeans he has on, the necklace around his neck.

Jongin wonders, in all honesty, why he is doing this-or when even he started doing this. He thinks it’s a bit creepy, if not a lot, but he can’t help but be a “little observant”, as what he thinks he is, when it comes to Junmyeon. Somewhere deep inside, there is this desire to know everything, anything about Junmyeon: to look beyond what he can see, listen beyond what he can hear, feel beyond what he can touch. Most of the time he ignores this, or if the desire grows a little stronger, pushes it at the back of his head, somewhere in the subconscious so he can pull it back in the hope that this desire will be well judged. But right now, he thinks what he wants is unsuitable; sometimes, if not always, scary. It may ruin things, he fears, and eventually destroy something, someone-them.

“Are you listening?” Junmyeon asks, waving a hand in front of Jongin’s face. The model quickly snaps out of his reverie.

“Slight,” Jongin answers partly honestly. “I’ve read everything and I understand it. You shouldn’t worry a lot,” he says when he catches up to Junmyeon listing down reminders, do’s and don’t’s until the fashion day, in a very fast pace. He seems to be speaking in mixed excitement and worry.

“Hey, you know what, Suho,” Jongin says. He extends his arm and reaches for Junmyeon’s hand. It surprises them both; for a jiffy Jongin almost pulls his hand back, realizing how it can possibly be a very awkward situation, but his fingers have already touched the other’s so he does it anyway. Junmyeon makes a quick shift to Jongin and to the latter’s surprise, he doesn’t retract his and lets Jongin hold him.

“I am not sure why you seem to be so stressed about this. I mean, I’ve done many auditions. I passed, had the runway lots of times, noticed by people, by the industry, made a name for myself, for you,” Jongin starts. He squeezes Junmyeon’s hand, the warmth of the other’s seeping through his cold palm. “Maybe you’re just, I don’t know, tired? A little overworked?”

“No. It’s not like that… it’s… just…” Junmyeon stutters, apparently lost for words to defend himself. He sighs, realizing the truth in Jongin’s words and he begins to ask himself why he’s doing this, too. He has a lot on his plate and it’s just himself. Everything has grown really big, his company steering straight to success, if it isn’t yet.

“I can do the auditions, hyung,” Jongin says. “Trust me?”

When Jongin calls him “hyung”, there is a funny churn inside him and it travels straight to his chest, his heart pounding hard and he starts to feel giddy. Jongin is serious. Jongin is worried for him. Jongin cares. He nods his head, lips pulling to a smile. “I trust you Kai, of course,” Junmyeon says reassuringly. “You’re Kai. Kai is great. Kai is cool. Kai is perfect. There’s nothing you can’t do,” he answers.

The words create a growing bubble of pride in Jongin’s chest and he feels warm, a happy kind of warm. He finds himself smiling back, but bows his head slightly in little embarrassment.

“And you’re Suho. You’re awesome,” Jongin mumbles. Silence befalls on them, a little awkward, and Jongin can’t help but to break it otherwise he’ll melt in his place. "You always flatter me," he shyly mutters.

It’s a random honesty time and Jongin feels giddy as much as Junmyeon is. He feels secured; he enjoys the real Suho he sees, the openness, the sincerity, and perhaps the real them, Suho and Kai. Although it brings another round of confusion, Jongin prefers thinking of how he is reassured that Junmyeon is still here, next to him, a support that will never disappear. He isn’t sure until when but as long as Kai exists, at least, his Suho-hyung will be there.

There is a soft chuckle and Jongin sees Junmyeon's shoulder shake a bit, as if stifling a tickle. Seconds later, he bursts into laughter. Jongin's smile disappear, quickly morphing to an open-mouthed amusement. "What the hell? You just laughed out of the blue?"

"Look at you blushing at compliments. You like it too much, don't you?" Junmyeon says, encircling an index finger from Jongin’s forehead to his cheeks as if pointing out the blushed areas of his face. Jongin blinks. "Don't let all these praises go to your head," Junmyeon continues. "But yeah, I guess you're right. I should not worry about you too much."

"You just love me too much, too," Jongin says with a grin.

Junmyeon retracts his hand, pulling it away from Jongin’s grip at which the younger feels a little disappointed but he slightly ducks his head when Junmyeon rests a hand on his head and starts to ruffle his hair. "Yeah right," he hisses and smiles.

Jongin has a scheduled photoshoot for a different magazine (Junmyeon makes sure this magazine is different from Sehun’s) a few days before auditions and that gives Jongin enough reason to be excited, to be less naughtier, a lot nicer. He needs to give Junmyeon a good shot because that one day he’s going to spend with him should never be a bad one.

The next three days show an unusually jolly and early Jongin showing up at work. Baekhyun, who sometimes acts as the receptionist of the office, aside from being the coffee maker, runner, secretary, and dishwasher, always yelps when the doorbell rings at seven in the morning. People usually come at quarter past seven and they’re usually his staff, but to have Jongin’s presence at such an hour, it’s definitely the weirdest thing to happen in his life, he thinks.

When Junmyeon arrives, he pauses at his door, always surprised when Jongin greets him with an extended arm, a cup in his hand, handing him his coffee. “What’s wrong with you?” he asks on a Wednesday morning, giving Jongin a misgiving look. “Do you need something?”

Jongin snickers. He opens his mouth but closes it immediately when an “I need you” almost slips off his lips. Too bad when he shuts them, he accidentally bites on his tongue and he flinches, curling in his place a hand over his mouth. Junmyeon laughs at him loudly, pointing an index finger at him as if in mockery. Although Jongin is in pain, with his eyes scrunched and teary, he still makes sure in his limited vision he does not miss the way Junmyeon’s eyes turn to crescent, the way his mouth opens, lips curving as he cackles heartily, his laughter a fun sound for him to hear.

Jongin half-curses half-blesses himself, confused with the physical pain he endures and the peculiar but happy contentment that fills his chest. When his tongue no longer hurts, he snorts and pouts, giving Junmyeon stern looks feigning annoyance, and he sticks his tongue out when the older asks a “What?” as his laughter begins to die down.

“You are the worst Suho-hyung ever. I want another Suho-hyung,” Jongin mutters, pouting and then sticking his tongue out only to pull it back inside when the cold air hits the bitten part and it stings.

“I’m your only Suho-hyung,” Junmyeon says, emphasizing on his name.

Jongin grunts again but trying to keep his happiness inside until his lips pull to an awkward grin. Well, Junmyeon is right-will always be right. He’s his only Suho-hyung. Your only Suho-hyung, he repeats. There is a bubbling sense of excitement, giddiness and pride in his heart and that’s when he finds himself smiling softly at Junmyeon..

“Thanks for the coffee, Kai,” Junmyeon says, raising the cup, tilting his head slightly as he takes his seat.

Jongin hushes, standing up and walking towards Junmyeon’s table. “No problem. Besides, I feel bad for Baekhyun always getting shouted at because of a late cheap cappuccino.”

Junmyeon raises a brow. “This is not cheap! This is Nescafe’s brand new flavor it’s a few pennies more expensive than the older cappuccino version,” he defends, putting down the cup on the table a bit hard on the table although not strong enough to crush it and spill its contents all over. He gets a little too hyped on defending his coffee that blood rushes to his head and he’s red in the face.

“Alright alright!” Jongin says, raising his hands shoulder-level as if in defeat, and chuckles, enjoying the sight of a flustered Junmyeon in front of him. He then puts both hands on the table and leans toward his manager, too close that Junmyeon gasps and leans back. If he had not, their lips would have met. The pink on his cheeks turn to a darker shade of red and Jongin’s smile turns to a grin.

“What the hell-”

“Hyung, let’s go out tonight!” Jongin exclaims gleefully.

Junmyeon’s eyes grow wide and he blinks. “What?”

“Go out. Like eat? Drink?” Jongin says, pushing himself away from the table. “When was the last time we went out? Do you still remember?”

Junmyeon has his mouth open to respond but it sends him trying to remember the last time Jongin and he went out for dinner, or for milk tea at the very least. He ponders for a while, counting with his fingers and after a few seconds he looks at Jongin in the eye. “Two months ago.”

“See? See? Two months!” Jongin exclaims. He then places a clenched right hand on his chest as he walks back and forth across Junmyeon’s table in drama. “Can’t you see how painful it is for your beloved, favorite model to not have one night spent for also his only Suho-hyung?” he continues, waggling his brows at the last part of his sentence.

Junmyeon looks at him with wide eyes, slightly weirded out. He heaves a sigh, sips on his coffee and when he places it back on the table, he smiles. “Fine. Tonight. The two of us. My treat.”

Jongin yells a “Yes!” inside the office that Baekhyun and his assistants have to pause from their work and take awkward, slow peeks inside the room, going back only when Junmyeon raises his hand and shoos them away.

“Someone’s a little excited, I see,” Junmyeon says, giggling.

“Yes. Kai, Suho’s Kai,” Jongin answers giddily.

Suho’s Kai. Junmyeon repeats. Jongin listens, letting it echo inside his ears, saying it all over again in his head. For a moment he settles at that very small tinge of hope which then clashes with a very small tinge of fear that forms right after. He ignores-tries to ignore-the awkward feeling he can’t even discern. It isn’t pleasant but it isn’t the time to be all too dramatic. He hides it behind a warm smile.

Junmyeon smiles back.

Suho’s Kai

“Just one bucket,” Junmyeon reminds when Jongin looks at him with pleading eyes, tapping an index finger on the Cass beer on the menu. When he finally nods and raises his hand, Jongin’s face immediately expresses delight.

“Thought you’d be a kill joy,” Jongin mumbles as he keeps an excited grin. When he sees Junmyeon smile back, his insides make a somersault that his stretched lips retreat and he stares at his manager, as if totally captured in slow enamorment.

Junmyeon’s smile disappears as well and he blinks, his right hand on his cheeks wiping them quickly. “What? Is there something wrong? Did I get dirt on my face?” he asks hurriedly.

Jongin, realizing he’s giving Junmyeon a gawky look, snaps back to earth and laughs, shaking his head. “Nothing. I just realized your smile has never changed since I first met you,” he says honestly. He sees a slight pink staining Junmyeon’s cheeks and he makes a mental fist pump.

“Wow you’re so greasy I refuse to take that as a compliment,” Junmyeon says in between chuckles, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Take it as a fact, then,” Jongin responds. Junmyeon hisses, biting on his lower lip to stop them from smiling.

It takes two more minutes before the bucket arrives and Jongin quickly grabs a bottle, opens it and hands it to Junmyeon. He takes another one for himself. Once done, he raises it, tilting a little and yells a “Cheers!” to Junmyeon. Junmyeon takes the bottle (since he really has no choice) and raises it to tap its side with Jongin’s, mumbling a “Cheers” back at him.

The first few hours are light, with only two or three bottles turned down at a slow pace, enjoying their conversation on various stuff, from cheesy reminiscing of the past to future plans and personal stories. Soon, Junmyeon begins to raise his hand and orders one more bucket. Two becomes three and then four and Jongin, who has become a little fuzzy in the head at the second bucket, doesn’t quickly realize how drunk Junmyeon is already.

Jongin stares at a tipsy Junmyeon who’s laughing all by himself, mumbling a series of incoherent and inconsistent sentences (something about his dog eating his cotton candy), and Jongin can’t figure them out perfectly as he himself has alcohol in his senses, although he knows he’s still sober enough. By the looks of it, he’ll end up bringing Junmyeon to his flat. The idea sends a jolt in his stomach and it turns giddily uncomfortable, followed by a faster pumping of his heart turning him warmer all of a sudden. He shakes his head and heaves a sigh.

When the fourth bucket’s empty, Junmyeon slowly raises his hand to call for the waiter but Jongin slaps it, although not too hard, but the older shoots him an angry look.

“What was that for? It’s my treat anyway,” Junmyeon says and pouts, mumbling the words to himself as he gently caresses his palm. Jongin, for a second, is confused whether he should find the face cute or annoying. He mentally slaps himself.

“Enough. You’re drunk,” Jongin says. Junmyeon pushes his lower lip more and it looks funny this time than adorable. “Stop. You’re not cute,” he continues and it sounds more pleading than imperative; he doesn’t need another round of uncomfortable swells in his stomach.

The conversation grows to a senseless argument on when, why, and how Junmyeon is cute and not cute, and basically Jongin explaining why the fifth bucket will be their demise: first, he needs to be sober until he brings Junmyeon back to his flat; second, Junmyeon will probably pass out if he gets more alcohol in his system; and third, he has no car and he can’t afford a car wash if Junmyeon pukes on taxi cab seats. It takes fifteen minutes for Jongin to successfully persuade the other to end the alcohol streak.

“Need to pee,” Junmyeon says. He rises but almost falls to the floor, tripping on one of the feet of the table that Jongin immediately stands up and catches his arm.

“Be careful!” Jongin exclaims. “The washroom’s upstairs. I’ll bring you there,” he says. He holds Junmyeon’s left arm and right shoulder so he’s walking straight and not so tipsily, guiding him until they reach the washroom. Jongin opens the door and lets Junmyeon in.

Jongin waits outside, leaning on the wall next to the door, humming songs to himself as he waits for Junmyeon to finish. He checks on his wristwatch and realizes Junmyeon’s been inside for more than five minutes. Too long for a pee, he thinks. He moves and gently knocks on the door.

“Hey, Suho, are you okay? Do you feel like puking?” he asks and waits for an answer; he gets none. He knocks again on the door and asks the same question. But he never finishes his words when the door suddenly opens wide and Junmyeon appears with a grin on his face, quickly reaching for Jongin’s wrist and dragging him inside.

It is so sudden, too fast that Jongin can feel the alcohol shoot from his stomach up to his head. He closes his eyes when his vision begins to twirl. Junmyeon’s wet hands hold him by the shoulders and they push him against the wall a little hard, the coldness of the tiled wall permeating through his clothes sending him to a swift, short chill.

“Suho-”

When he opens his eyes, Junmyeon’s meet them and Jongin basically lost it when he notices that the older is leaning on him, hands still pinning him against the wall, the other’s face moving closer to his so fast. He barely ends his sentence when soft, wet lips touch his own.

His eyes shoot wide in apparent surprise and confusion, three seconds of blankness before he figures that it’s Junmyeon pressing him against the wall as he kisses him chastely (or as how it begins) in a drunk state; he tastes like beer, smells like living alcohol. It may or may not be against Jongin’s will; he isn’t entirely sure. He half-gasps half-groans when Junmyeon’s hands touch his cheeks, holding his face for a better angle, slowly moving his lips so it starts to become a little sloppy.

Junmyeon pushes his body further and the younger can feel his heartbeat race, pounding hard against his ribcage, feeling it a lot more with Junmyeon’s pressed against his. His stomach feels heavy and painful with a lot of uncomfortable swings and circles that his knees start to feel weak to keep himself up. If it isn’t for Junmyeon’s body against him, he’d fall on the floor. Blood rushes to his cheeks and he is red in the face. Junmyeon is, too, but he isn’t really sure if it’s because of the beer or the kiss. Soon, that subconscious part of Jongin wanting to do this pushes him to take it one step further. Although slightly hesitant, Jongin parts his lips, slowly until it’s enough for Junmyeon’s tongue to enter, sweeping deeply into his mouth, tasting him more.

Whatever is happening is totally stunning Jongin, eyes still wide as the still working unintoxicated part of his brain tries to figure out what exactly they are doing. Kissing, yes. In a washroom, public place-making out inside a comfort room of a local bar. He has both hands on his sides, either immovable from surprise or just too confused to do anything aside from the lips latching onto lips and tongue probing into the other’s mouth.

He returns back to earth when Junmyeon makes a loud moan in between their deep kiss. When he grinds, Jongin realizes Junmyeon is aroused. He’s hard. And he’s pressing his hips against Jongin more, awkwardly thrusting it so that his tented pants grind against Jongin’s crotch.

“S-stop,” Jongin mumbles, gently pushing Junmyeon off him but he won’t budge, pressing himself more, holding Jongin’s hips this time in place while kissing him. Jongin shakes his head and finally raises his arms to push Junmyeon on the chest, breaking their kiss with a little force. They catch for breath, inhaling a large amount of air to catch up with the loss. It is an awkward silence, or for Jongin at least, since he’s clear-headed enough to recognize what they have actually done.

“S-Suho, stop,” he says firmly, wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. There is a tug in his chest, akin to disappointment and fear but something inside tells him this is the right thing to do. “You’re hard,” he unintentionally says in an attempt to break the ice.

Junmyeon blinks and he looks at his crotch, suddenly palming the tented crotch of his pants. He laughs. “Yeah. You make me hard,” he says with a grin, walking closer to Jongin.

“Don’t. You’re drunk,” Jongin mutters, raising a hand. He probably sounds a little unconvincing but he’s too confused to care. He turns around and, with cold shaky hands, gently takes Junmyeon’s wrist. “Let’s go home?” he asks, opening the door.

Junmyeon willingly follows, to Jongin’s surprise. He silently walks, but the redness of his face doesn’t disappear. Both of them do not speak. Jongin still has one hand holding Junmyeon’s wrist while the other holds him by the shoulder. He hails a cab and carefully guides Junmyeon in before him.

“I’m sorry,” Jongin whispers inside the cab. Junmyeon doesn’t say anything. Or maybe he didn’t hear it. Whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing, he really can’t decide. He’s not coherent enough for thoughts: he’s confused, still fuzzy, and hurting for some reason he can’t really figure out. The pounding of his chest is still loud and it’s uncomfortable. He sighs.

They reach the flat and Jongin realizes Junmyeon has his fingers fastened around his hand. He’s silent. Both of them are silent.

“Thanks for the treat,” Jongin says, smiling.

“It was a great night!” Junmyeon responds a little gleefully than necessary. Jongin giggles.

“Good night, Junmyeon-hyung,” Jongin mumbles. He taps Junmyeon’s shoulder and nods. Junmyeon nods back, smiling before closing the door. The lock clicks. The lights turn off.

Jongin stands still outside, a finger on his lips.

Jongin slightly jumps in his seat when Junmyeon arrives in the office, opening the door with a slam that it hits the wall with a bang, literally. He is sweaty and pale, brows creased at obvious discomfort, hands clenched around the handle of his bag while the other holds the door frame tightly. He’s breathing is irregular and heavy; the black rings around his eyes are more prominent and they look more awful, too. He breathes in, one big intake of air and exhales slowly, closing his eyes as air comes out of his mouth.

“Good… morning?” Jongin greets in a rising tone. Seeing Junmyeon for the first time since last night sends a funny yet awkward turn of his insides. He may be as confused as he was before he went to bed but he knows this isn’t the right time to dwell on his issues yet. It’s eight in a Thursday morning and the agenda for today is the photoshoot, not to rationalize on why he ends up making out with his manager inside a pub’s washroom. He bites on his lips and smiles normally, or attempts at least.

“You look weird,” Junmyeon says, raising a brow when Jongin’s smile begins to look like an awkward flash of teeth with basically no definable emotion. He walks carefully towards his table and slowly sits on his chair, dropping his bag on the table before looking back at Jongin. “And it’s not good. I have a really bad headache and my head is going to burst anytime. Do you feel my pain?”

Jongin keeps his smile-or flash of teeth-and remains silent. He can’t seem to find a proper way to continue a conversation without sounding less tensed and sticky. The last night’s images of them from a third person point-of-view flashes in his head and the churns of his stomach become wilder with each tick of the clock.

“I didn’t do anything… weird last night, did I?” Junmyeon asks, resting his elbow on the table so his hand can rub his forehead to ease its pain. “I barely remember anything-”

“No! No you did nothing. Weird,” Jongin blurts out, cutting Junmyeon off, suddenly becoming more tensed and stiff, back straightened and arms stretched to shake his hands in front of him. There is a snap in his head when he realizes he’s acted more awkwardly than intended so he quickly retreats his arms. “Nothing. Really. We were…” he trails off, the images of him pinned against the wall, Junmyeon’s lips on his, tongue in his mouth, and a hard-on pressed against his thigh-no, not the right time for such thoughts. “We had a good time. Nothing clumsy, funny. You got drunk though so I brought you back to your flat, in case you’re wondering why you woke up on your own bed and not mine,” Jongin rushes. His face is so warm he must be blushing intensely now.

Junmyeon looks at him with wondering eyes and Jongin internally panics. Did he get caught lying? Was he not a bit convincing? Maybe he should explain more but then that would make him defensive.

“Fine. I take that,” Junmyeon says, hissing as he continuously rubs his forehead. Jongin mentally sighs in relief. “Thanks.”

“The cab ride’s eight thousand won,” Jongin says and when Junmyeon looks at him again, he turns rigid. “And I’m broke, just so you know.”

“Okay. I’ll pay for the cab later. Give me five minutes and we’ll go to the photoshoot,” Junmyeon nods and sighs, pulling a couple of papers out from the drawers. “We’ll bring Sehun with us, by the way.”

“Why though?”

“The other male model dropped out. The director told me so he needs one more. It’s a high school-themed shoot and Sehun’s young enough for it, I think,” Junmyeon explains.

There is an ongoing battle inside Jongin’s head. He isn’t entirely sure if he has to be thankful Sehun’s gonna be with him and there’s somebody he can talk to knowing he’s probably gonna be awkward the whole ride with Junmyeon next to him; or dislike his presence since it’s one moment less for him and Junmyeon to be together at which he can probably find clues why he got the first base last night (with an almost jump to the third base should he be intoxicated enough for self-control).

“Well, Sehun is and I guess that’s good news,” Jongin says, nodding silently.

Sehun arrives a minute later (followed by a Baekhyun scampering inside for Junmyeon’s coffee). He takes the place next to Jongin, exchanging a short bro-fist with him (at which Junmyeon laughs, thinking it’s a silly greeting).

“What’s up?” Jongin greets.

“Jacked off this morning so nothing really,” Sehun kids and he laughs. Jongin gently slaps him at the back of his head, mumbling a “You jerk!” before laughing with him. Junmyeon’s mouth pull to a smirk upon hearing the conversation (he probably mumbled something like “Tsk. Kids, really” while checking on his papers but Jongin isn’t really sure). Jongin sees and he fixes his eyes on the curl of the lips only to shake his head when he realizes he’s been thinking how those lips felt moving on his. To save himself from inappropriate thoughts (which may possibly lead to a tent in his pants), he quickly shifts to Sehun and asks about his previous photoshoot early this week. He learns that Sehun was asked to pose half-naked and Junmyeon bursts inside the studio yelling at the management, asking why his talent has to take his shirt off when it was never mentioned in their contract. The director insisted so they ended up walking halfway out of the shoot. Jongin laughs, reminded of how surprised he was on Monday when Junmyeon suddenly returned to their office earlier than expected. The photoshoot story becomes a laughing matter between Jongin and Sehun, throwing jokes and kidding about Sehun shooting for a porn magazine, until Junmyeon stands up and signals the two that they’ll be leaving.

The ride isn’t really long, with the studio only a few kilometers away from their building. When they arrive, almost everything is already set. A few of the staff are polishing the sets, lights, and reflectors. Make-up artists are gathered in one corner with the three models, peppering make-up on their faces and fixing their high school blazers and neckties. Jongin and Sehun recognize two of them: Kris, whom they had a photoshoot with for a health magazine a few months back (Sehun remembers laughing out loud when he learns Kris is actually a chain smoker), and Krystal, who used to be Jongin’s partner for a denim catalogue a few years back. They greet the two before looking at the third one, a new face. He has his chin up while a noona tries to put make-up on his chin and neck. His eyes look too sharp and scary, the dark circles around them don’t look too bad yet they make him a lot fiercer than his facial features already are.

“Tao, new model from us,” Kris introduces and they can see how his face brightens with a tinge of pink suddenly staining his cheeks. Krystal grins and nudges him by the waist. She puts a hand on the side of his mouth to lean near the two and whispers, “They’re dating, actually,” pointing her pouty lips from Kris to Tao. Both Jongin and Sehun exchange meaningful glances while mouthing a silent “oooh”, nodding their head and giving Kris knowing smiles. Kris raises a brow but his cheeks continue to betray him (he defensively says it’s the blush-on) more when Tao walks next to them and clings to the other male model. Sehun and Jongin are soon called by the make-up artists for their pepper-your-faces-with-powder-and-creams session (Kris is thankful for the tease break but Krystal won’t leave them).

“Kai, what if we ended up like Kris and Tao?” Sehun kids while they wash their faces. Jongin gasps and chokes on the water he just splashed on his face, some entering his nose that his nasal cavity begins to hurt.

“Jesus, Sehun! Over my dead body?” Jongin exclaims, as if alarmed and disturbed, fingers pressing the bridge of his nose. “That hurts. I hate you.”

“It’s a hypothetical question, you dumb!” Sehun says, grinning. “And I was kidding, okay? I’m taken.”

Jongin, who is now almost done washing his face, quickly raises his head but only to hit the faucet, earning a loud “Fuck!” and groan from him, a hand at the back of his head scratching it. “What the fuck Sehun! Of all perfect times, you tell me things like these? It hurts, fuck you.”

“Oh you’re heart broken?”

“My head hurts! Shut up!” Jongin slaps Sehun’s arms. “Who’s the lucky girl?”

“Luhan. And he’s not a girl,” Sehun promptly answers. Jongin’s jaw slowly drops, raising a hand over his mouth. “The barista? That cute barista?” he asks. He then looks around him, making sure no one hears them before leaning towards Sehun. “And you’re gay?” he follows up, whispering.

Sehun hushes him, his index finger pressed on his lips. “We’ve been together for half a year. Living together. Baekhyun knows. And oh, it may not show but Krystal has the hots for me. If she hears this, I’m gonna break a girl’s heart. That’s against us guys’ rules.”

“You’re gay, anyway.”

“I still have the dick.”

Jongin rolls his eyes and grabs a towel to wipe his face. He throws it on Sehun’s face and laughs. “Baekhyun gets first access to Sehun secret files huh? Great. You need to tell me details later. The make-up artists are waiting. We need to go.”

Sehun sticks his tongue out before wiping water off his face. Jongin doesn’t wait for him to finish though, immediately exiting the washroom so he can wait outside. He leans on the wall next to the door and hums a song to himself but stops before he’s done with the first line when he realizes he’s done exactly the same thing twelve hours ago. He gasps, straightening up and pushing himself away from the wall while attempting to remind himself of the latest Pororo episode he’s seen earlier today. He hisses and slowly shakes his head, slapping his forehead gently as he starts to walk towards the make-up artists. Sehun soon appears and follows right after him.

“Anything wrong?” Sehun asks when he sees Jongin’s eyes closed shut, scrunched up. Surprised, Jongin jerks awkwardly before turning around to face Sehun.

“Nothing really. Just the water…” Jongin says, trailing off when his sight lands on Junmyeon, standing at the other far corner of the studio, arms folded across his chest. A split-second and he sees Jongin and Sehun. He smiles, raising a hand to show he’s noticed them from afar. Sehun bows his head while Jongin smiles back before sticking his tongue out while waving his hand. Somebody then taps Junmyeon’s shoulder from his left and he quickly peels his eyes off the two models. When Junmyeon’s expression turn from happy to surprise and then shifting back to a smile, Jongin’s chest suddenly feels warm and fuzzy. His eyes grow wide though when Junmyeon suddenly leans to put both hands on the other person’s waist, tilting his head so he can kiss the other on the cheeks. When the other chuckles, placing two fingers on Junmyeon’s forehead to teasingly push it off his face, the butterflies in Jongin’s stomach return, this time with greater speed that they basically pound his insides. He raises a brow while his head is still frozen mid-air from his wave.

As far as what he knows, every person known to Junmyeon is known to Jongin as well, maybe not all by name, but at some point in time, they were introduced to him at least once. But he hardly remembers this guy. He’s never met him. He is short, probably as tall as Junmyeon if he’s not taking into account the obvious insoles the new guy is wearing. He has these seemingly perennially wide eyes which do not really look bad (Jongin admits they make him five times younger than his actual age, whatever it is), and a peculiarly heart-shaped smile. It bothers Jongin the most-how can a person smile with his lips forming a heart, and, more importantly, giving it to Junmyeon?

Annoyance and confusion cross Jongin’s features. When Sehun walks toward him, turning to the same direction where Jongin has his eyes at, Jongin quickly yanks the younger closer and whispers. “Who’s that cute guy with Suho-hyung right now?”

Sehun stares at him for a second and then to the person Jongin asks about. He soon shakes his head and shrugs, “I don’t know. And yes, he’s cute. You like him?”

Jongin gives Sehun a sharp, skeptical look. “Dumb. I don’t. It’s just… I’ve never seen that guy yet. He seems to be…”

“Close to Suho-hyung,” Sehun completes the sentence for him when they see Junmyeon slide a hand around the other person’s waist, gently squeezing his side so the other flinches. They both end up giggling at each other. “Is Suho-hyung dating somebody?” Sehun asks. Jongin can’t help himself but snort loud enough for Sehun to hear.

“What’s wrong?” Sehun looks at Jongin.

Jongin internally panics. “Nothing. PDA.”

“They’re not PDA-ing. They’re just being fluffy,” Sehun mumbles but gasps when Junmyeon suddenly leans to kiss the other on the cheek. “Okay. Okay, that’s slight PDA. But still fluffy.”

Jongin feels like his chest gets a deep slash, big enough for his lungs to inflate out of a cut that it’s almost impossible to breathe, while the rest of his organs quickly dropping hard to his stomach. “Ugh. G-gross,” he groans before turning around, briskly walking towards the make-up artists. Sehun sees Jongin’s hands clenched.

The photoshoot begins smoothly with Kris, Tao, and Krystal doing the first shots. Sehun and Jongin stay a few meters behind, watching the three candidly pose in a classroom setting, Krystal seated in between Kris and Tao on the table. Sehun observes them, giggling from time to time with the NGs. Jongin on the other hand remains silent, biting on his lower lip as he stares at Junmyeon who is now seated at the far end of the studio with this “new guy”. Jongin feels weird; there is this lingering want for Junmyeon to explain, although at the back of his head, he knows Junmyeon doesn’t owe him an explanation, not even disclosure of everything. And it sucks.

Junmyeon places a hand over the other’s shoulder, pulling him closer, the other holding Junmyeon on his thigh, squishing it lightly that his legs awkwardly jerks upward and they end up, for the umpteenth time, giggling at each other. Jongin tightens the cross of his arms on his chest, hissing to himself. He needs to stop because the stress ball in his stomach is almost nearing intolerability; if this continues, he’ll end up in the toilets, either puking or pooping, which would be really untimely as he doesn’t want to waste another hour of slamming layers of powders on his face.

“Laser lights won’t come out of your eyes,” Sehun mutters, grinning at him. Jongin peels his gaze off Junmyeon-and-his-nugu but keeping his intense stares as he looks at Sehun. The latter steps back. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“N-nothing!” Jongin quickly smiles and relaxes his forehead. Sehun looks at him questioningly.

“Sehun, Kai! You’re next in five minutes!” one of the staff yells.

“You sure you’re okay?” Sehun asks. Jongin nods as they walk closer to their set. The temptation is strong but he does his best not to turn his head around and have one more glimpse of Junmyeon. He isn't masochist enough, he rationalizes.

Sehun and Jongin’s shots take longer than the three, not because they’re taking photos outside but Jongin basically keeps on “messing up”, as what the director says. He zones out, missing a couple of simple instructions. He hardly smiles and the photographer has gone obviously tired and annoyed reminding him to be jolly “because this is a fun high school moment, please get your shit together.”

Junmyeon is now standing behind the director, in other words, in front of them, shaking his head and keeping a raised brow at Jongin. He once mouths “what is wrong with you” when Jongin trips on a cable, accidentally toppling an umbrella reflector. Jongin tries to give him a reassuring smile, answering back wth an “I am fine,” before going back to Sehun. When he sees Junmyeon mumble something, whispering to the wide-eye guy he’s with, disappointment and worry fused in their faces, Jongin silently curses to himself.

“Are you on your period or something?” Sehun asks. Although he obviously is kidding around, Jongin can sense his worry and confusion.

“Just…” Jongin trails off, bowing his head and biting hard on his lips.

“We can talk,” Sehun says, lowering his tone, tapping Jongin on his shoulder and pressing it gently. “If you need somebody to talk to, that is.”

Jongin sighs, his chest suddenly heavy and tight. “Thanks. Maybe. I really don’t know.”

When the shoot ends, Jongin makes quick goodbyes to Kris, Tao, Krystal and thanks the whole staff before he hurriedly runs to Sehun. “Hey,” Jongin whispers, holding him by the arm.

Sehun looks at him. “What is it?”

“Can I like… maybe stay in your flat tonight? I mean, we go home right after this?”

Sehun blinks, slightly bewildered by Jongin’s request. He wants to know the reason but he sees something wrong with the way Jongin’s lips curl to a fake smile, the drop on the sides of his brows, and a seemingly heavy, uncomfortable tinge in his words. The studio may be not an appropriate place to squeeze answers out of Jongin right now. He smiles.

“Sure. No problem,” Sehun says. He bows one last time to the other models and starts to walk towards Junmyeon. Jongin almost grabs him back but Sehun has brisked away so he ends up following him.

At every foot closer they come to Junmyeon, the worse the flips of Jongin’s stomach becomes. He breathes out of his mouth, assuming that the tinge of ache at the back of his head is because of last night’s alcohol he hasn’t peed out yet and not of the loud and fast pumps of his heart sending blood to his head at an alarming pressure.

“Good job, guys,” Junmyeon greets, a satisfied smile etched on his face. “You seem a little weird though, Kai,” he says. Jongin almost jumps in his place at the mention of his name, too aloof to realize they’re already in front of his manager-and the new guy.

“Uh… Alcohol,” Jongin mumbles, not looking at Junmyeon who grins and then rolls his eyes.

“By the way, this is Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon introduces, a hand behind the other as he gently pulls him closer. “He’s a magazine editor. The reason why we get a lot of magazine photoshoots recently,” he continues.

“Hi. Nice to meet you,” Kyungsoo greets them gleefully and Jongin doesn’t know what to feel when Kyungsoo gives them heart-shaped smiles. “Heard lots about you two from hyung, especially about you, Kai.”

Jongin jerks his head up, quickly meeting Kyungsoo in the eye. He opens his mouth, slowly, and attempts to speak but not a single word comes out.

"Don't worry, he spoke good things," Kyungsoo says, laughing.

Secret or not, it doesn't really matter. He doesn't really care. In Jongin's head, the question "Are you guys dating?" lingers, slowly sliding down his tongue, and he is so close to almost spilling it out of his mouth. He's hesitant but he thinks he should ask it. If he's not going to get an explanation from Junmyeon then it's better to get it from him, or them, by surprise interrogation. Curiosity can be his valid excuse.

"Is it okay if we go ahead?"

"Are you guys dating?"

Sehun's and Jongin's respective question overlap and they look surprised and confused as much as how Junmyeon and Kyungsoo are. Kyungsoo laughs, but Jongin us pretty sure he sees his cheeks turn bright red. Junmyeon's face express little panic and embarrassment, eyes widening while he opens his mouth as if struggling for the right words. "Yes you may leave early if you want," Junmyeon tells Sehun before looking at Jongin a little nervously. "And..." he trails off. "Not really. Don't think of it like that."

"We're just friends... still friends," Kyungsoo shyly adds.

"Don't seem like you two are, though," Jongin quickly says back. It isn't his intention to actually sound annoyed and frustrated but his words come out sounding like one and Junmyeon is apparently irked at it.

"Kai, do you have a problem?" Junmyeon asks authoritatively, although he tries to sound as calm as he possibly could.

Afraid that the tension might escalate to something worse, Sehun intervenes. “S-sorry hyung. A coordi noona pissed him off. We’re gonna leave now,” he says, pointing at the group of girls at the other side. He quickly grabs Jongin by the wrist while bowing at Junmyeon and Kyungsoo before dragging him to his car.

Sehun holds on the steering wheel tightly and locking the doors as soon as Jongin gets in, taking the front seat.

“Why are you so off your locker?” Sehun asks in an annoyed tone before turning the key. The sound of the engine starts loud with the silence that befalls on them. Jongin sighs, throwing a stern look before relaxing his features. “I am not.”

“You are,” Sehun says quickly. “You nearly ticked Suho-hyung off there, just in case you didn’t see it,” he continues, emphasizing the last words as a matter of fact.

Jongin closes his eyes and sighs in defeat. He remembers Junmyeon’s eyes, the glare, the creases of his forehead, the calm but scary undertone of his question. The last night’s kiss flashes again. He groans. Jongin hates himself as much he is confused right now.

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