SH 2013: for eexiee (3/4)
Previous
“Where’s Jongin?” Seeing all the other teachers except Jongin, Joonmyeon finds himself worrying about him. Usually he would see Jongin passing by the hall and greeting the other teachers, but today he doesn’t see him.
He decides to ask Misun later if Jongin doesn’t appear in the last room.
“He’s on a trip to Japan because of a performance he was invited to conduct,” Misun answers as soon as Joonmyeon approaches the reception desk.
He wonders how she knew he was going to ask about Jongin, but shrugs and thanks her for the information. Joonmyeon is happy for Jongin and for the recognition he’s receiving, but a bit upset since Jongin didn’t tell him any of this. He wonders if Jongin still considers him as a friend. He doesn’t mind if Jongin never return his feelings - even if it makes his heart cry in pain - but he at least wishes that Jongin treats him as a friend.
Going home never felt so lonely for Joonmyeon, but today he feels like he’s alone in the world again.
Thinking about Jongin was never so painful for Joonmyeon’s heart, even when he thought about having to pretend. He falls asleep wondering if Jongin really considers him as a friend, because for Joonmyeon, he’s more than a friend would ever be.
“Two weeks.” Silly Joonmyeon, thinking that Jongin’s trip was only for a day. Two weeks, two entire weeks without Jongin. Joonmyeon sighs and selfishly wonders why he needed such a long trip.
Wanting to finish everything earlier, he does his work faster than usual. He wouldn’t have to wait for Jongin at that practice room anyway, so there was no purpose in staying longer this time.
“See you tomorrow,” Misun replies to Joonmyeon’s ‘goodbye, see you tomorrow’ as he closes the door. He finished earlier by four hours and Misun , as Joonmyeon wished, let him go seeing how hard he had been working for the past weeks.
Walking around the city, he visits stores and tries to distract himself. He hasn’t been in the city this much. On Sundays, his day off, he always stays home, just watching TV and sleeping. He usually wakes up early, goes to work and goes back to his house. He doesn’t do much, really.
Seeing a bakery, he decides to stop by and drink something.
The place, Joonmyeon recognizes, is the same place he went to before starting his job as the janitor in the academy. He sits by the window this time and reads the green board behind the counter, where the food names and the prices are written.
“A blueberry cake and green tea, please.” The waitress gets his order and disappears, once entering the kitchen.
Joonmyeon looks around the store, there’re only a few customers and high schoolers - probably skipping classes. The decoration is simple yet pretty. Looking at the kitchen, he sees no one coming so he gets up and goes to the other side of the store.
There’s a picture on one of the walls and Joonmyeon gets curious.
“Isn’t that Jongin?” Joonmyeon mumbles and looks at the picture one more time before going back to his seat. The picture showed the employees - the cooks, the waitresses, the waiters and the manager - and Joonmyeon wonders if he saw it right.
“Please enjoy!” The waitress says in a joyful tone. She bows and goes away.
Joonmyeon eats a bit and nods, maybe he should bring Jongin here - and if Jongin really does work here, it’d be even better because he must know the best cake flavors.
Joonmyeon thinks that he shouldn’t make a move on Jongin. He’s not brave like many people are and is not the best, so he just waits. He waits until someone good enough for him comes and then he’ll be brave enough. But with Jongin he’s not, because Jongin is much more than just ‘good enough’. He thinks that Jongin deserves someone better, not him, so he doesn’t do anything and just waits, even though waiting is tiring.
“Does a Kim Jongin work here?” Joonmyeon asks before stepping out from the store. The waitress from earlier looks at him and nods.
“Does he work with dance?” Joonmyeon asks, just to make sure this is really the Kim Jongin he knows.
“Yeah, he mentioned something about being a teacher,” the waitress says and leaves. Joonmyeon is certain now that Jongin works here - he remembers that he mentioned it before, working in a bakery.
Breathing the fresh air outside is great, Joonmyeon thinks. Content, he looks at the sky and sighs, I miss you Kim Jongin.
The day Jongin comes back, Joonmyeon isn’t there to greet him. He developed a fever.
Joonmyeon isn’t someone who falls sick easily, but it doesn’t mean that he’s immune to viruses and such.
“Where’s Joonmyeon?” Jongin asks Misun, as soon as he comes in. Misun grins and shakes her head. Seriously, these two.
“He called earlier and said that he got a fever,” she informs. Jongin’s eyes go wide with worry and he asks if he can go home earlier than the usual.
“Sure, just make sure that he’s getting better,” Misun winks at him and Jongin ears turn crimson. He nods and goes to his practice room.
“Who’s there?” Joonmyeon asks as soon as someone knocks on his door.
“Jongin.”
Joonmyeon panics. What’s Jongin doing here?, he asks himself, unsure of what to do.
“May I enter?” Jongin asks, not so sure of what to do either. He knew Joonmyeon’s address because of that night he accompanied Joonmyeon. He just waits until the door opens before stepping inside.
“I brought some warm soup,” Jongin says as soon he sees Joonmyeon at the door. Joonmyeon smiles and closes the door. Jongin can say that he’s quite surprised by Joonmyeon’s state. Usually sick people would be laying on their beds or sofas, sleeping or almost dying, but Joonmyeon doesn’t even seem sick at all.
“Are you really sick?” Jongin asks, because he’s not so sure himself. Joonmyeon looks at him and laughs.
“It’s not that I’m not sick, but let’s say that I’m taking care of myself quite well.”
Jongin nods and looks around the house. The kitchen is small but enough for one person, the living room is okay too, he thinks. He concludes that Joonmyeon’s house is very clean and organized. As expected from the janitor, he thinks.
“Sit there for a while. Do you want soup too?”
Jongin shakes his head and just sits on the small couch near to the TV on the living room.
After a while, Joonmyeon comes back with a bowl and a cup of tea.
“I don’t have much here, but I hope tea’s okay for you.”
Jongin thanks Joonmyeon and takes a sip. He steals glances at Joonmyeon from time to time as Joonmyeon drinks the soup. He sighs and looks anywhere but Joonmyeon.
“I,” Jongin starts and Joonmyeon looks at him, “I missed you.”
Joonmyeon feels his heartbeat increasing and an unknown warmth inside of his body. Suddenly, the room is much hotter than Joonmyeon thought it was.
“I missed you too,” he coughs but smiles after. Jongin’s ears are red, Joonmyeon notices. He guesses that his are just as red as Jongin’s ears are, if not more.
Jongin is definitely awkward, and so Joonmyeon tries to ease the tension by sitting next to him on the couch (he was sitting on a chair before). Jongin tenses and looks away as Joonmyeon puts his bowl on the small wooden table in front of them.
“How was the trip?” He asks and Jongin finally looks at him. He apologizes for not telling him sooner that he was going to Japan because they told him about it a day before the actual trip.
“You should give me your number then,” Joonmyeon says and feels his cheeks getting warm this time as if he just had wine or beer; he’s not good with alcohol at all. Jongin grins and gets his cellphone out from his pocket.
Exchanging numbers, Joonmyeon thinks that they’re officially friends. He could finally exchange messages with Jongin at night, he thinks. Maybe then he wouldn’t miss Jongin so much. It would probably lead to sleepless nights for him though, thinking about Jongin.
He feels like a high school girl with her first love. It’s like he’s crushing on a kid, he thinks, even though Jongin seems like a man. He’s younger than him by four years, he remembers.
“I made a new choreography with other teachers and the performance went very well, but I still prefer my kids.” They laugh as Jongin refers his students from White Swan as his kids again.
“What song did they use?” Joonmyeon asks out of curiosity as always.
“A Midsummer Night’s Dream by Mendelssohn.”
Joonmyeon remembers the book by Shakespeare he once read in high school. He still remembers the characters and especially Puck. Joonmyeon considers himself a fan of Shakespeare, the late great writer and poet who wrote the greatest tragedies.
“You always have great taste choosing the songs,” Joonmyeon comments and Jongin blushes. Joonmyeon is the first that praises Jongin’s taste in melodies. It made Jongin feel special in a way and warm inside.
“I’m eager to watch ballet with you someday,” Joonmyeon says and feels the heat going up to his face. Jongin looks at him, but his attention is grasped by the way Joonmyeon’s lips move when he talks.
“A date?” He asks and Joonmyeon blushes furiously. Jongin’s too distracted to care about what he’s talking about.
“If you want it to be,” Joonmyeon looks away, but Jongin gets up and his gaze follows the thin lips of Joonmyeon, one of the most beautiful things on Earth for him at the moment. He stays on his knees on the floor, between Joonmyeon’s legs, and slowly brings his own lips to Joonmyeon’s awaiting lips. His hands are on Joonmyeon thighs when their lips meet, not for the first time, but definitely the best.
Joonmyeon feels electricity by the contact of Jongin’s sweet lips on his. He doesn’t pull away though; he has his right hand in Jongin’s hair and the other on his neck instead, making him fill the empty space between them, if there is any.
They break the kiss after a while, heavy breathing and in need of air. Jongin touches Joonmyeon’s forehead with his own, smiling with his eyes closed. Joonmyeon tries to regain the lost oxygen in his lungs as his arms wind around Jongin’s neck to embrace the younger boy.
“I have wanted to do it for a while,” Jongin says and breaks the hug, smiling content. Joonmyeon laughs and Jongin follows after. They intertwine their fingers and go for another warm embrace.
“Good morning,” Jongin says as he sees Joonmyeon cleaning the hall. Joonmyeon stops and looks up, spotting Jongin by the end of the hall, waving.
“Good morning!” He shouts and waves back. He’s no longer sick. Or maybe he still is, but it’s lovesickness this time.
Jongin gets upset once Joonmyeon goes back to cleaning. He had thought he would come running and hug him or peck him on the cheek - or lips if he was lucky - but Joonmyeon just went back to cleaning. Jongin pouts and goes back to teaching the kids.
“What’s with that face, teacher?” A girl asks as she sees her teacher’s face. The others look at him and laugh.
“It’s probably because his boyfriend didn’t kiss him in the morning,” Zhoumi says and high fives Kyuhyun. Jongin looks at them, extremely embarrassed by his nine-year-old student.
He glares at everyone and huffs. They deserve to suffer, he thinks.
“Everyone, train the arms and legs positions ten times each then demi-pliés twenty times.”
The students complain and start hitting Zhoumi as the evil teacher laughs, making his way to a chair at the side.
“What’s the song today?” Joonmyeon asks as the melody finishes. The tempo - as in the speed or a pace of the music - was fast and Joonmyeon liked it very much. Maybe he would download it on his cellphone later.
“It’s a Beethoven medley, I found the melody on YouTube and downloaded it as mp3,” Jongin says and wipes off his sweat. The melody was fast and his paces were just as quick as each note was played. He danced in allegro - quick moving steps, often containing jumps and performed to a quick tempo of music - and he liked how it turned out well. He never dances to Joonmyeon with choreographies; he dances in a free style. He feels like he danced almost like a sixteenth note - or semiquaver - but he felt happy. He was a teacher, of course he has to be good in ballet, but he’s going beyond his expectations and he feels more than happy.
He, even though sweating and stinking, runs to Joonmyeon and hugs him, pouting.
“Oh my God Jongin, you stink!” Joonmyeon laughs and tries to escape Jongin’s embrace, but Jongin tightens his grip around Joonmyeon and doesn’t give up, much to Joonmyeon’s discontentment.
“But I missed you,” Jongin lays his head on Joonmyeon’s shoulder, taking in the mixture of his - stinking - scent with Joonmyeon’s sweet one. Joonmyeon laughs and pats his back, but regrets right after as he gets his hand wet with Jongin’s sweat.
“Go dance,” he urges Jongin as the younger slowly lets go of him and goes to the center of the room again. Joonmyeon sits next to the mirror; he decides to watch Jongin dancing. He has already finished cleaning the room before Jongin came. He will probably just clean the floor again when Jongin goes away, if he actually goes - Joonmyeon has doubts on this.
Joonmyeon has his eyes fixed on Jongin as he dances, not diverting his gaze even once. Jongin however, stops dancing and looks at Joonmyeon. Joonmyeon looks confused as to why he suddenly stopped.
Jongin spells something and shyly does a heart with his arms. Joonmyeon bites his bottom lip and looks away with red ears. Jongin smiles; I like you.
The week passes in a flash and winter has already arrived. Jongin pecks Joonmyeon on the lips and Joonmyeon giggles. He really feels like a high school girl, not that it’s bad, now that he thinks about it. He’s just in love.
They’ve been like this for the past week, hugging and pecking each other once in a while when nobody is looking, whispering in each other’s ears and giggling and smiling all day. Joonmyeon’s always eager to see Jongin at the end of the afternoon. Jongin still dances every day as he has been doing since Joonmyeon first came to the academy.
Joonmyeon gets curious about what they are. Jongin never said ‘let’s date’ or ‘you’re my boyfriend now’. They only kiss and hug, without an exact title. It feels like they’re strangers who just care about the affection and forget about the importance of one another. Of course Joonmyeon knows that they’re in a mutual relationship, but he wants to hear Jongin saying that they’re going out at least once.
“Jongin,” Joonmyeon calls out and Jongin, as expected, looks at Joonmyeon. “What exactly are we?”
Jongin is confused, “What do you mean?”
Joonmyeon wonders if Jongin’s really the one who made the first move. He’s so silly sometimes that he makes Joonmyeon want to squeeze the hell out of him in a tight embrace and kiss him until there’s no spot untouched. It’s cute, he thinks.
“I mean, are we dating? Are we just friends?” Joonmyeon asks.
Jongin thinks and furrows his eyebrows, “It’s up to you, since you’re older.”
Joonmyeon can’t help but laugh at Jongin’s remark. Jongin pouts and asks what’s so funny.
“Nothing, really. Then, can I say that we’re in a relationship?”
Jongin nods and hugs Joonmyeon, laying his head on his shoulder, a new habit of his. It feels almost like an addiction for Joonmyeon’s shoulder or maybe even a routine, like he has to put his head on that same spot. Joonmyeon doesn’t mind though, he likes to feel Jongin’s head there - he even strokes his hair sometimes, another thing Jongin came to love.
“We should make a ‘to do’ list. There are many places we can go,” Joonmyeon suggests and Jongin nods.
“We should go to that bakery you work at, too.”
The comment attracts Jongin’s full attention - that was on Joonmyeon’s lips, nothing new to both because this became Jongin’s new true addiction - and Joonmyeon smiled.
“Why?” Jongin asks and Joonmyeon quickly gets his cellphone from his pocket and snaps a picture - Jongin’s astonished face. His wish is fulfilled, finally.
“It’s cute,” Joonmyeon says and shows Jongin the picture. Jongin tries to get the cellphone, but Joonmyeon gets up and runs around the room, hugging his cellphone close to his chest.
When Jongin, laughing, gets hold of Joonmyeon’s arm, Joonmyeon turns around and pecks Jongin’s lips. Another astonished face, Joonmyeon thinks and takes another picture.
“You’re bad,” Jongin pouts, and gives up. At least he got a peck, and even on the lips.
“Come on, I just want to visit your workplace,” Joonmyeon says to the sulking Jongin.
“Why are you sulking anyway?” Joonmyeon gives Jongin a back hug. Instead of answering him, Jongin turns around and gives Joonmyeon a heated kiss. When they finally do not have enough air in their lungs, they break apart and hug instead.
“You’re so childish sometimes, Jongin,” Joonmyeon laughs and Jongin pouts, not sulking this time.
“I know you like it.”
And it’s purely the truth what Jongin says, Joonmyeon thinks. He likes it, just the way Jongin is.
“You two don’t need to hide it from me; I’m seeing it crystal clear from here,” Misun teases as she looks at Jongin and Joonmyeon holding hands. However, Joonmyeon hid their hands behind his back, but since Jongin is not glued to him they end up showing his arm behind Joonmyeon’s back.
Joonmyeon blushes a shade of pink and Jongin thinks it’s cute. They escape from more embarrassment - at least to Joonmyeon - and say goodbye to one another.
“I’m going to France in two days.” Jongin sighs. After dancing and teaching Joonmyeon the difference of Coupé - a sharp movement where the foot quickly moves off the floor and circles the ankle in either the front or the back - and Sur le coup de pied - the working foot is wrapped around the ankle of the other leg. It means ‘on the neck of the foot’ in French - he sat on the ground, as Joonmyeon practiced the two movements Jongin taught him.
“For how many days?” Joonmyeon is upset. Another trip Jongin has to go and he’s going to be alone. He just wishes that it’s a short trip this time.
“Two weeks again.”
Joonmyeon might die, he thinks. Not exactly, but after a day alone he thinks he might feel like dying of loneliness. Being alone in the past four years has been extremely hard to Joonmyeon, and now that he has found someone he wants by his side every minute just made things even more difficult.
Joonmyeon pouts anyway. There’s no problem with showing what he’s really feeling, which means no more pretending. Jongin, with his addiction, looks at the pout. He feels like a prisoner in hypnosis or maybe someone addicted to drugs. He succumbs to temptation and gets up to embrace Joonmyeon.
He continues looking at the pout Joonmyeon’s showing and doesn’t hold himself back. He kisses with no regrets Joonmyeon’s lips, and sucks on his bottom lip - the one Joonmyeon did the pout with. Joonmyeon kisses back, obviously. He enjoys the kiss. He won’t feel the warmth that comes with the beautifully shaped lips on his for two entire weeks and someone has to actually hit him, so he won’t dream of them.
Jongin presses his lips one more time on Joonmyeon’s and licks his own.
“That was delicious, thank you,” he says and Joonmyeon blushes. Sometimes, he thinks that Jongin is so wild that it’s almost irresistible. The feeling is so overwhelming that Joonmyeon doesn’t stop there and goes for another round. He kisses Jongin, catching him off guard, doing everything he can so it’ll make up for the two next weeks without the succulent taste that Jongin’s lips have.
Joonmyeon was right, he feels like dying. It has been merely a day and he’s just too lonely that he has to download some games in his cellphone from the app store. He plays until late at night, momentarily forgetting he has work the very next day.
Before he can actually make the last move with a blue candy and go to the next level, he gets a call.
“Hello?” His voice is lazy as he’s not expecting any calls at this rate of the night. Jongin said he would call only the next day as he would probably be extremely tired from the long airplane ride.
The other line doesn’t reply and Joonmyeon wonders why. He hangs up anyway and before he can go back to his game, he slides the wrong candy and loses his chance. The rest of the night is filled with anger and cries.
“Jongin!” Joonmyeon runs to Jongin and jumps on him, hugging the hell out of him. He kisses his nose, his forehead, the tip of his nose, his cheek and his awaiting lips. When they break apart from the kiss, Jongin is the one gasping for air. They laugh and embrace each other one more time. Joonmyeon feels like it’s his lucky day, because Jongin came two days earlier than expected on a Saturday afternoon, and they’re having a date - even though Jongin is exhausted from the airplane ride, he still makes effort for his boyfriend.
Joonmyeon still feels nervous around Jongin, but less than before. His palms get sweaty sometimes and his heartbeats are as uncontrollable as ever. But now he has Jongin to make him feel warm, to hold his hand and to make him happy.
“Let’s walk around the city,” he suggests and Jongin just nods, too tired to decide on anything at all. He just follows Joonmyeon everywhere the other goes - because Joonmyeon is embarrassed enough with Jongin trying to put his head on Joonmyeon’s shoulder every time they stop to look at the display of a store - and walks a little behind. Joonmyeon doesn’t like displaying affection in public at all, Jongin thinks, but sometimes Joonmyeon unconsciously intertwines their fingers or put his hand on Jongin’s shoulder. He doesn’t mind though, he takes advantage of the older instead.
Every time Joonmyeon notices the contact, he blushes a pretty tone of pink and whispers a ‘what are you doing Jongin!’ on Jongin’s ears, something that Jongin has been enjoying for the past two hours.
Jongin thinks that Joonmyeon’s reactions to everything and anything at all is cute. Sometimes he pouts - making an ‘o’ with his mouth and Jongin almost loses his sanity and kisses him until there’s nothing left- and Jongin wonders if an insect ever entered his mouth, because he stays like this for quite a long period of time, he observed. Sometimes he turns to look at Jongin, showing him what he liked or what he felt would look awesome on Jongin - and Jongin wishes, at times like this, that he was rich enough to buy everything Joonmyeon wants and make him happy.
“Isn’t that the new ballet choreographer or something like that?” A girl comments to her friend.
“The one that did the choreography to that Shakespeare act in Japan right?” She asks and her friend nods. They whisper to each other and Joonmyeon catches some of the whispers.
“I didn’t know he was gay!”
“He’s handsome for a teacher.”
“That other guy must be the bottom.”
The girls giggle and go away, looking back at Joonmyeon and gossiping right after. Joonmyeon wonders why they talk about such things in public and if they knew that he heard them. He feels bad for Jongin to have to hear such unnecessary comments just after he returned from his trip. Joonmyeon doesn’t care though; he just ignores it and goes back to walking.
Stopping at the next clothing store, he looks at the clothes on display. Finding an interesting hat, he calls out for Jongin, but no one replies or appears, not even the head on his shoulder. He looks at his sides and is terrified to see him sleeping with his head leaning on the nearest wall of the past store. He runs to Jongin and shakes him, waking him up. He drags him by the arm as Jongin, half asleep, walks behind him. Joonmyeon wonders how Jongin could sleep in such a place and in that way. Maybe he should ask him later - that would probably help him with his insomnia.
“Hello?”
On a Wednesday night, Joonmyeon gets a call from an unknown number. He accepts it, curious about who would be calling him this late, and slightly annoyed.
“My son?” The voice is somehow familiar, and Joonmyeon finds it rather strange for the person’s voice resembling his mother’s so much.
“Mother?” He asks, maybe it’s his mother after all.
“My Joonmyeon! How are you doing, dear?” Joonmyeon feels a little - just a little - angered that his mother has the guts to ask how he has been doing. He wants to answer that he felt like shit when they left him, that he doesn’t want to talk with her right now and that he’s okay with how everything is now. But he can’t just ignore his mother, whom he hasn’t seen in almost four years - or was it four years and a half or almost five? - and wants to live with them again, treat them as they deserve and make them the happiest parents in the world.
He just can’t, and he won’t. He should just thank God that his mother called and that she sounds healthy.
“I’m... good, I’ve been doing pretty well in the past years. And you mother, how are you and father?” He asks sweetly to his mother, who is waiting on the other side of the line.
“We’ve been doing well too! We’re going to Korea in a few days so I thought that we could meet up soon?” She says and Joonmyeon replies that yes, they could meet up.
They talk some more, until his mother says that she has gardening classes and they hang up, saying the ‘love you’ and ‘goodbye’s. Joonmyeon feels wonderful. Meeting up with his parents would be amazing too, he thinks. He likes the way that his mother is just as she was back then, sweet and caring.
He has some questions though, and he wants answers. He wonders why his mother suddenly called like that, after all these years. Is it only because they’re coming to Korea again? He wonders how they got his cellphone number as well, since he bought another one with a new number a year ago. He shrugs. Maybe he shouldn’t stay wondering and asking questions and just be grateful that she called. He misses them, a lot.
He texts Jongin before going to sleep and waits for a reply. He doesn’t tell him about his parents coming though, he still didn’t tell him about them leaving him and going to Canada on their own. He should, he thinks. Maybe he would tell him about it tomorrow.
He waits for the ‘Sleep well and dream of me!’ from Jongin and the heart emoticon Jongin always send him. He smiles after receiving the text and texts back, with a simple heart emoticon, as he does every night. He sighs and lies on his bed, looking at all the texts he shared with Jongin. He wonders what he has become and chuckles, maybe it is time for him to go to sleep. Instead, he reads all the texts and doesn’t get sleepy. Jongin never tires him.
“I’m happy for you!” Jongin says the next day, after Joonmyeon told him about his parents coming. He didn’t tell the missing part of his story though.
“Let’s go get ice cream after!” Joonmyeon demands and Jongin nods, anything to make his boyfriend - he likes saying this - more and more happy.
They have been knocking off from work earlier than usual, only Joonmyeon actually, since Jongin confessed a few days ago that he stayed until after his shift just to be able to talk with Joonmyeon in that practice room. He flushed at that time and Joonmyeon laughed with his ears red from the confession. They hugged afterwards and went through a make out session right after - but Joonmyeon likes to say that they only shared a kiss and nothing more.
“Let’s go.” Jongin takes Joonmyeon’s hand in his, walking away from the academy, the sun still shining brightly in the sky.
“I remember going home in the dark,” Joonmyeon says, and remembers the days he went home alone, enjoying the night’s fresh air and the few lit up street lamps. The only sound he heard was of men laughing and yelling, probably from a nearby bar, and the silence only the night has.
“You should forget about these; now you don’t go home alone anymore,” Jongin says and Joonmyeon blushes. Pink, Jongin thinks, very cute.
“But when you’re away I still go alone.” Before Joonmyeon can stop himself, the sentence slips out on its own. The regret that flashes in his eyes is obvious, as well as the pain and sadness in Jongin’s. The walk is silent after that. The surroundings aren’t as silent, but for them, it’s like walking down a deserted road - no cars, no trees, no people. Just them, and the silence.
A corner before the store, Joonmyeon stops and is face to face with the other. Jongin, however, has his head hanging down, not meeting Joonmyeon’s long pleading stare.
“I’m so sorry Jongin! Oh my God what have I done!” Joonmyeon hugs the younger, arms circling the other’s torso. Jongin hugs back, head on the crook of Joonmyeon’s neck.
“I’m sorry,” Jongin mumbles, his voice muffled by the contact with Joonmyeon’s skin. Joonmyeon nods and has his slender fingers passing through Jongin’s hair, stroking it.
Jongin leans into the touch and holds his grip firmly around Joonmyeon. His lips are on Joonmyeon’s skin, paralyzed as Joonmyeon gives all the attention and comfort to him.
“I -”Jongin started, after two minutes of hugging and there were now a couple of people looking at them. He breaks the hug - much to both of their disappointment, Joonmyeon just didn’t want to ever let go - and struggles with his words.
“I can’t promise that I won’t be busier from now on, seeing how things are going pretty well for the academy,” he says and looks at Joonmyeon, who nods and smiles, reassuring the younger that it’s okay. “But I’ll always make time for you and for us, this I can promise.”
Joonmyeon hugs Jongin again, ignoring the stares from the people passing by. The judging looks, Joonmyeon thinks, is what makes the relationship more interesting than it already is.
“Let’s go,” Joonmyeon says and intertwines their fingers. Jongin smiles - one of the best smiles he has ever seen, Joonmyeon thinks - and goes wherever love has prepared for them.
“I’m lonely,” Joonmyeon states aloud. He’s in his home, sitting by his bed, clock almost hitting midnight, and even his new downloaded games aren’t that entertaining anymore - not that they had been before, anyway.
Jongin didn’t call once after their date, he thinks. It’s been three days since and he hasn’t been reachable by cellphone as well.
He didn’t even come to their - Joonmyeon likes to call it that way - practice room, and he didn’t even send him a message. Joonmyeon is an understanding boyfriend though. Jongin said he would be busy from now on and Joonmyeon didn’t take it as a joke, but took it seriously instead and respected every word. At least he had informed Joonmyeon.
At lunchtime Jongin always had to go through extra courses with some of the other teachers. When Joonmyeon’s shift ended, Jongin was nowhere to be seen - Joonmyeon had searched the whole academy. It felt like Jongin wasn’t even working there anymore, but Joonmyeon knew better. He was with Joonmyeon, all day, it’s just that Joonmyeon couldn’t see him and Jongin couldn’t see Joonmyeon at all. But that’s how it worked. He felt like Jongin was the older instead, and he was the younger.
It was strange, but from an hour to another it didn’t feel like Joonmyeon saw Jongin as the Jongin he knew. It feels like he’s no longer Jongin, but it feels like Kai instead, Joonmyeon thinks. He’d never seen Kai before, and he bets that not even Jongin himself had ever seen Kai, but maybe this was Kai. The person who’s taking him into a different world from what he lived in and from what he is.
Joonmyeon didn’t know if he should be happy though. It felt delusional. It felt like twins, only in the same body and soul. It’s not like Jongin’s personality changed, not at all and Joonmyeon can’t accept that he ever thought about the idea of Jongin changing when he did nothing wrong. It’s only his schedule that changed. And it didn’t feel good to Joonmyeon, the idea of being alone; being separated from Jongin for so long because of Kai’s activities.
Joonmyeon decided. He would wait until Jongin was out from all his classes - he got his schedule thanks to Misun - and give him a bone-crushing hug. He misses him like crazy and maybe, seeing him again would do good to his racing and impatient heart.
He sits on a bench outside the academy, waiting. It’s still 5pm, he thinks. Maybe napping wouldn’t be bad. The weather’s nice and the bench isn’t that uncomfortable. 30 minutes only, Joonmyeon thinks and closes his eyes.
“Who are -”Jongin looks at Joonmyeon. He definitely didn’t expect this. Joonmyeon’s asleep on the bench outside, he thinks. It’s freezing cold at this hour - 8pm as the clock inside shows.
Jongin smiles and carefully drops his backpack on the floor. He sits next to Joonmyeon and traces Joonmyeon’s facial features with his eyes. His eyes drop to the sight of his lips, crimson red from the cold. Jongin loves Joonmyeon’s lips.
He stays still for 5 - or was it 6? - minutes, just staring at his lips. Jongin doesn’t know why he’s so attracted to Joonmyeon’s lips. Of course, it gives him all the amazing feelings from kissing and it makes up the entire make out sessions he has sometimes with Joonmyeon. But it’s not only because of that, he thinks. It attracts him, in all ways possible.
It’s from there that comforting and sweet words come from, from there that he hears the most relaxing sound in the world and the laughter that makes his day, from there that the most beautiful smiles are formed. These are just a few things in the list, Jongin thinks.
“Jongin?” Joonmyeon opens his eyes, shooting up from the bench.
Jongin laughs and gets up. Joonmyeon looks at him and hugs him, without even looking at his face twice to confirm that it is indeed him - the laughter confirms it.
“I missed you,” Joonmyeon says and Jongin nods. Me too, he thinks, I missed you even more.
“Let’s go,” he takes Joonmyeon’s hand in his own and walks down the staircase. Joonmyeon isn’t alone anymore.
“I said it was no good, but he insisted,” Jongin says as they turn to Joonmyeon’s street. Joonmyeon laughs and shakes his head.
“That kid is seriously talented though, I clearly remember -”Joonmyeon is interrupted by a cough. It was an intentional cough and both he and Jongin look at its origin.
“Son, what are you doing?” Joonmyeon’s father says as he looks at their intertwined fingers.
“Kid, what’s your name?” Joonmyeon’s mother asks Jongin as soon as she sees what her husband is looking at. It isn’t the sweet and caring voice that Joonmyeon remembers hearing in the phone conversation. Instead, it’s intrusive and infuriated.
Jongin is about to answer, but Joonmyeon stops him from doing so. He moves in front of Jongin - even if Jongin is taller than Joonmyeon and can still see everything from there - and looks at his parents in disbelief. A call would have been nice before appearing in front of his house, or maybe Joonmyeon would have had patience if they were polite enough. But well, things just don’t go as planned.
“I think that you should leave,” Joonmyeon says to his parents, even if it hurts him. His parents look infuriated, but they don’t move or whatsoever. Joonmyeon sighs, he can’t escape.
“Go home for now, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Joonmyeon turns and sends Jongin an apologetic smile. Jongin nods and gives Joonmyeon’s hand a squeeze and turns around, walking away.
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