i wonder what an epiphany feels like
nothing is really new i guess. i dont think ive updated for a while. im still at friendlys and i decided tonight that im going to look for another job. it was a really shitty day. i figure its gonna be the first of many things to change in my life. the rest will be a surprise.
school is going... o k a y .... i need to start showing up for math.. i have an f... the rest of my classes r good tho..
im watching magnolia right now. im about to go out.
i wish i was rich. i need money. i have to get my car fixed. each day a new bill comes in the mail. i cant handle it. im trying so hard not to ask my dad for money. i cant even pay tuition. i dont know what to do.
i feel like getting wasted. i wish i lived in canada. maybe ill move there.
im in one of those moods right now.. not a good one.. like everythings going wrong.. but at the same time im in a deep mood.. and im thinking in ways i dont want to think.. and i dont know why and i cant stop it... i dont know... i need to snap out of this right now... bleh :(
ive been feeling ugly lately. that needs to change. and its only gonna change if i change my look. i wish i go go away.. really far aay... and change completely.. and come back and have no one recognize me.. i would love that so much. maybe like go away for a semester abroad and come back hot and have everyone be amazed. sometimes i just wish i could walk into a room and trun heads.
so heres the deal with work. i cant stand these hours. its phsycially straining. it stresses me out. and i feel underappreciated. thats the problem with my life right now. i feel underappreciate by eveeryioe. at work they act like they would go on fine without me. i feel like my friends dont know i exist. i feel sometimes like my girlfriend wouldnt notice if she was with me or not. i feel like im more of a bother to my family than i am a blessing. this is why i want a new location with new people in my life.
this is a really good movie. im so tired but i need to get out of my house.
i need a hobby. any ideas?
i need a place where i can make some new friends. ive started hanging out with some girls from work and its more fun than ive had in a long time. we went to hooters and to this strip bar. they were cool. theyre 24 and 28.. it kinda makes me wish i was older ya know? they sound like they have fun.
my great aunt died. im not sure how to feel about that. i dont know about death sometimes...
the worst thing is this. i want to be happy so bad, and im not. i know im not gonna let myself get as bad as i was.. but im having a bad day and i cant shake it. im trying hard, but my dad was just so bad. and i dont even know why. i need to get outside of these 10 square miles. i wanna go somewhere i can feel special and beautiful. im not getting that here. i feel like i have nostalgia for something i never had. u know what i mean? i feel like im missing out on something but i cant figure out what it is. i want some excitement. i cant even figure out whats keeping me in massachusetts right now. nothing is. but why am i still here. theres nothing here for me. everything here is holding me back i think. im just not happy. i wish i was a moviestar or a rockstar.
school is going... o k a y .... i need to start showing up for math.. i have an f... the rest of my classes r good tho..
im watching magnolia right now. im about to go out.
i wish i was rich. i need money. i have to get my car fixed. each day a new bill comes in the mail. i cant handle it. im trying so hard not to ask my dad for money. i cant even pay tuition. i dont know what to do.
i feel like getting wasted. i wish i lived in canada. maybe ill move there.
im in one of those moods right now.. not a good one.. like everythings going wrong.. but at the same time im in a deep mood.. and im thinking in ways i dont want to think.. and i dont know why and i cant stop it... i dont know... i need to snap out of this right now... bleh :(
ive been feeling ugly lately. that needs to change. and its only gonna change if i change my look. i wish i go go away.. really far aay... and change completely.. and come back and have no one recognize me.. i would love that so much. maybe like go away for a semester abroad and come back hot and have everyone be amazed. sometimes i just wish i could walk into a room and trun heads.
so heres the deal with work. i cant stand these hours. its phsycially straining. it stresses me out. and i feel underappreciated. thats the problem with my life right now. i feel underappreciate by eveeryioe. at work they act like they would go on fine without me. i feel like my friends dont know i exist. i feel sometimes like my girlfriend wouldnt notice if she was with me or not. i feel like im more of a bother to my family than i am a blessing. this is why i want a new location with new people in my life.
this is a really good movie. im so tired but i need to get out of my house.
i need a hobby. any ideas?
i need a place where i can make some new friends. ive started hanging out with some girls from work and its more fun than ive had in a long time. we went to hooters and to this strip bar. they were cool. theyre 24 and 28.. it kinda makes me wish i was older ya know? they sound like they have fun.
my great aunt died. im not sure how to feel about that. i dont know about death sometimes...
the worst thing is this. i want to be happy so bad, and im not. i know im not gonna let myself get as bad as i was.. but im having a bad day and i cant shake it. im trying hard, but my dad was just so bad. and i dont even know why. i need to get outside of these 10 square miles. i wanna go somewhere i can feel special and beautiful. im not getting that here. i feel like i have nostalgia for something i never had. u know what i mean? i feel like im missing out on something but i cant figure out what it is. i want some excitement. i cant even figure out whats keeping me in massachusetts right now. nothing is. but why am i still here. theres nothing here for me. everything here is holding me back i think. im just not happy. i wish i was a moviestar or a rockstar.