100 beats per minute BABY!
Things are going very very well
My new bf is very strange, his personality is VERY VERY much the same as someone I used to know, (who moved to ccanada)...which is VERY scary, as I thought there was probibly no one else like him.
Sometimes I wonder what the fuck he's doing with me, I feel so very ignorant with him sometimes.. He's always thinking of the most amazing deep things, looking for answeres, and I know he's found so many. He knows things that we don't, I swear, I know it sounds weird but he does. You can look in his eyes and see that he's lived so many times and been so many different places. He is truly one of the most (if not the most) interesting and amazing people I have ever met!! I feel lucky to be with him.
I'm scared he'll get bored with me because it's kind of like I live on the outskirts of life... I live my life surface, I live my life day to day, to make it, to have fun, to have new experiences, and no matter how much I LOVE to just listen to Matthew talk, I very rarely question my existence, or wonder about the meaning of my life...
He doesnt know these things, he doesnt know how I feel about him, he probibly never will....
Anyways, on a sadder note, Josh recently hunted mee down at H.T and updated mee on his now very sad and pathetic life... He had gotten fired, license revoked, got evicted from the place we once shared, is a crack head, and lives back with his parents..tried to join the navy but they wouldnt take him from all his past charges... I feel like all of this is my fault...
Did you ever feel like you ruined someones life?? It's not a good feeling at all.. I have felt it 3 times in my life, I feel I have ruined 3 different peoples lives...not only do I feel that way but they have told mee...
Whatever man, I'm gonna get going I have to go meet up with Matthew....I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED too see you guys!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3for mee, most of the time....
My new bf is very strange, his personality is VERY VERY much the same as someone I used to know, (who moved to ccanada)...which is VERY scary, as I thought there was probibly no one else like him.
Sometimes I wonder what the fuck he's doing with me, I feel so very ignorant with him sometimes.. He's always thinking of the most amazing deep things, looking for answeres, and I know he's found so many. He knows things that we don't, I swear, I know it sounds weird but he does. You can look in his eyes and see that he's lived so many times and been so many different places. He is truly one of the most (if not the most) interesting and amazing people I have ever met!! I feel lucky to be with him.
I'm scared he'll get bored with me because it's kind of like I live on the outskirts of life... I live my life surface, I live my life day to day, to make it, to have fun, to have new experiences, and no matter how much I LOVE to just listen to Matthew talk, I very rarely question my existence, or wonder about the meaning of my life...
He doesnt know these things, he doesnt know how I feel about him, he probibly never will....
Anyways, on a sadder note, Josh recently hunted mee down at H.T and updated mee on his now very sad and pathetic life... He had gotten fired, license revoked, got evicted from the place we once shared, is a crack head, and lives back with his parents..tried to join the navy but they wouldnt take him from all his past charges... I feel like all of this is my fault...
Did you ever feel like you ruined someones life?? It's not a good feeling at all.. I have felt it 3 times in my life, I feel I have ruined 3 different peoples lives...not only do I feel that way but they have told mee...
Whatever man, I'm gonna get going I have to go meet up with Matthew....I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED too see you guys!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3for mee, most of the time....