ariyama: It’s as if You were Right by My Side
Title: It’s as if You were Right by My Side
Pairing: Ariyama, later on: possible Yamada/? (hurhur, I’m so evil. >_>)
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG
Summary: Part one of a three-part series. They just promised to meet tomorrow. To make memories. To stay by each other’s side. But promises don’t last, especially not when they’re held dear to your heart.
A/N: Inspired by じょん’s 君がそばにいるように feat. Hatsune Miku the goddess, which is It’s as if You were Right by My Side in English. This song is just so.. sad that I cried. ;_; And then I played Pandora Hearts' OST & my sad songs playlist and that made me cry even more omg + it was replayed the entire time I wrote this. So uh, if you’re not feeling lazy, listen to AVTechNO!’s SOU MusicBox to set the mood. Or something. see? there's a music player! (Just click on it. After the 2 sec ad it'll play.)
Oh and.. dedicated to zhelchimarquez, kotaahh, zhelchay, bb, grrl.. you know who you are. >_>
“I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” he asks, smiling as the other boy nods eagerly. He slips out of the bedroom window and jerkily climbs down the tree, and then he’s off: scurrying away into the night and away from his partner.
Yamada watches as he runs away, past the quiet buildings that have already gone to sleep and further and further away until the little speck that is his lover disappears from sight.
He’s still staring, though there’s nothing left to stare at anymore. But he stands there by the window, gazing at the damp road and the flickering lampposts, basking in the air of being loved that’s still lingering behind even though the bearer has left not too long ago.
It’s almost tangible, he thinks. So he reaches out to grasp the invisible wisps of this being loved feeling and although there’s nothing in his palms when he opens them, he’s not disappointed.
He’ll see him tomorrow.
There’s a knock on the door.
‘Go away,’ Yamada groans in his head. ‘It’s six in the morning. I’m having a headache.’
“Yama-chan!”
There’s a tinge of urgency and desperation in the voice, and as much as Yamada wants to return to dreamland, he knows he has to answer the door.
There’s the damned knocking again, and it doesn’t seem to be stopping any soon.
“I’m up, I’m up,” he grumbles to himself, tossing away the blanket and standing up from his spot on the futon.
It’s six. In the morning. What could possibly be of such urgency that he needs to be interrupted of his sleep?
He unlocks the door with a little more force than necessary, only to find Chinen looking up at him with worried eyes.
“Chii,” he mumbles, a tired smile on his face as he leans on the doorframe. “What brings you here? Whatever it is, I’m sure it can wait till tomorrow.” He rubbed his eyes to emphasise his need for sleep.
But Chinen doesn’t smile at Yamada’s sleepy state. The creases on his forehead deepen and his frown worsens. His bottom lip quivers, and it was only then that Yamada, in the fuzzy state of his mind, notices the dried tear tracks on the boy’s cheeks.
Something’s wrong.
“Chinen?” he calls, in hopes of evoking a response from his friend.
“He.. he..” Chinen hiccups, a few tears running down his face and dripping onto the ground. His cheeks were flushed red with the need to cry out, but he holds it in, for his sake. For Yamada’s sake.
“He?” Yamada asks, and blanches when that one word made more tears spill from Chinen’s eyes.
He..?
Chinen wipes at his eyes furiously, sobbing and hiccuping the entire time. He covers his face with his gloved hands and mumbles, but the only word Yamada catches is ‘gone’.
Yamada’s heartbeat quickens, then slows down to almost a stop. His stomach twists in knots as Chinen removes his hands from his face and stares at him with those woeful eyes.
There’s only three questions running through his mind: whoisitwhatisit and who could he be?
“Chinen, please, tell me.”
The smile on Yamada’s face remains, but it starts to shake with uncertainty as the seconds pass by with silence.
He doesn’t know why he feels so .. weird. He feels like he knows what’s coming but at the same time he doesn’t, and even though Chinen has yet to break the news, Yamada already feels like dying.
“Chinen-”
“He’s gone, Yama-chan,” Chinen interrupts, and then everything freezes.
The snow seems to have stopped falling, Chinen’s tears stay in place and time doesn’t tick anymore.
Yamada stands there, a casual smile fixed upon his face, as he stares at the visitor standing by the door.
“Gone? Who’s gone?” he asks, the smile still there. But his heart starts to hammer against his ribcage and his heartbeat echoes in his ears.
“He’s gone, Yama-chan,” Chinen mumbles, as the tears well up in his eyes again and he starts to shiver on the spot he’s standing on.
Yamada smiles.
He doesn’t feel anything. No desire to scream, no urge to commit suicide.. nothing.
He feels empty.
“Yama-chan?” the boy calls, but his friend just stays frozen on the spot, his eyes half-open and an unreadable smile carved on his face.
Chinen is scared. Worried. He reaches out for Yamada’s face - though he doesn’t know why - but Yamada takes a step behind.
“Yama-chan,” Chinen whispers, offended by the action. But no, it’s okay. It’s him they’re talking about.
“Are you.. okay?” he voices nervously, as he gazes into the blank eyes of Yamada Ryosuke.
Yamada nods, and the smile on his face fades away. He utters a few words - just five, actually - but they’re powerful enough to make Chinen cry again.
“I’m okay. Go home.”
“But-”
“Chinen.” His voice was cold. There wasn’t a trace of emotion in it, and Chinen nods. He’s scared, but he thinks he understands.
So Chinen leaves, just like that. There’s no more words to be exchanged, because if Chinen says one more word he thinks Yamada will explode. So he leaves the porch, shuts the gate quietly after him and departs, and Yamada gently closes the door.
The door clicks in place,
and Yamada breaks.
A strangled shout gets trapped in his throat, and all Yamada manages to get out of his system is a cough. A small, measly cough, but it’s enough to break the dam and release all of his pent-up, delayed emotions.
He crumbles into a small heap on the floor, sobbing and weeping tears of sorrow for the one person he held dear and wanted to be with for the rest of his life.
He cries and cries, the tears never seeming to end. He’s choked up on the inside, words and feelings all tangled up within him that he doesn’t know what to do, what to say or whether to continue crying or not.
He doesn’t know why he feels this way, but at the same time he does.
He promised, after all.
He promised to be with him by his side, by the waterfall, by the start of the bridge at where they first met. To be with him wherever he goes, actually; but it’s all gone now.
He promised to meet him tomorrow.
..
He promised.
Now there’s no one by his side anymore.
end of part 1
A/N: Well. At least there's more to this.
Pairing: Ariyama, later on: possible Yamada/? (hurhur, I’m so evil. >_>)
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG
Summary: Part one of a three-part series. They just promised to meet tomorrow. To make memories. To stay by each other’s side. But promises don’t last, especially not when they’re held dear to your heart.
A/N: Inspired by じょん’s 君がそばにいるように feat. Hatsune Miku the goddess, which is It’s as if You were Right by My Side in English. This song is just so.. sad that I cried. ;_; And then I played Pandora Hearts' OST & my sad songs playlist and that made me cry even more omg + it was replayed the entire time I wrote this. So uh, if you’re not feeling lazy, listen to AVTechNO!’s SOU MusicBox to set the mood. Or something. see? there's a music player! (Just click on it. After the 2 sec ad it'll play.)
Oh and.. dedicated to zhelchimarquez, kotaahh, zhelchay, bb, grrl.. you know who you are. >_>
“I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” he asks, smiling as the other boy nods eagerly. He slips out of the bedroom window and jerkily climbs down the tree, and then he’s off: scurrying away into the night and away from his partner.
Yamada watches as he runs away, past the quiet buildings that have already gone to sleep and further and further away until the little speck that is his lover disappears from sight.
He’s still staring, though there’s nothing left to stare at anymore. But he stands there by the window, gazing at the damp road and the flickering lampposts, basking in the air of being loved that’s still lingering behind even though the bearer has left not too long ago.
It’s almost tangible, he thinks. So he reaches out to grasp the invisible wisps of this being loved feeling and although there’s nothing in his palms when he opens them, he’s not disappointed.
He’ll see him tomorrow.
There’s a knock on the door.
‘Go away,’ Yamada groans in his head. ‘It’s six in the morning. I’m having a headache.’
“Yama-chan!”
There’s a tinge of urgency and desperation in the voice, and as much as Yamada wants to return to dreamland, he knows he has to answer the door.
There’s the damned knocking again, and it doesn’t seem to be stopping any soon.
“I’m up, I’m up,” he grumbles to himself, tossing away the blanket and standing up from his spot on the futon.
It’s six. In the morning. What could possibly be of such urgency that he needs to be interrupted of his sleep?
He unlocks the door with a little more force than necessary, only to find Chinen looking up at him with worried eyes.
“Chii,” he mumbles, a tired smile on his face as he leans on the doorframe. “What brings you here? Whatever it is, I’m sure it can wait till tomorrow.” He rubbed his eyes to emphasise his need for sleep.
But Chinen doesn’t smile at Yamada’s sleepy state. The creases on his forehead deepen and his frown worsens. His bottom lip quivers, and it was only then that Yamada, in the fuzzy state of his mind, notices the dried tear tracks on the boy’s cheeks.
Something’s wrong.
“Chinen?” he calls, in hopes of evoking a response from his friend.
“He.. he..” Chinen hiccups, a few tears running down his face and dripping onto the ground. His cheeks were flushed red with the need to cry out, but he holds it in, for his sake. For Yamada’s sake.
“He?” Yamada asks, and blanches when that one word made more tears spill from Chinen’s eyes.
He..?
Chinen wipes at his eyes furiously, sobbing and hiccuping the entire time. He covers his face with his gloved hands and mumbles, but the only word Yamada catches is ‘gone’.
Yamada’s heartbeat quickens, then slows down to almost a stop. His stomach twists in knots as Chinen removes his hands from his face and stares at him with those woeful eyes.
There’s only three questions running through his mind: whoisitwhatisit and who could he be?
“Chinen, please, tell me.”
The smile on Yamada’s face remains, but it starts to shake with uncertainty as the seconds pass by with silence.
He doesn’t know why he feels so .. weird. He feels like he knows what’s coming but at the same time he doesn’t, and even though Chinen has yet to break the news, Yamada already feels like dying.
“Chinen-”
“He’s gone, Yama-chan,” Chinen interrupts, and then everything freezes.
The snow seems to have stopped falling, Chinen’s tears stay in place and time doesn’t tick anymore.
Yamada stands there, a casual smile fixed upon his face, as he stares at the visitor standing by the door.
“Gone? Who’s gone?” he asks, the smile still there. But his heart starts to hammer against his ribcage and his heartbeat echoes in his ears.
“He’s gone, Yama-chan,” Chinen mumbles, as the tears well up in his eyes again and he starts to shiver on the spot he’s standing on.
Yamada smiles.
He doesn’t feel anything. No desire to scream, no urge to commit suicide.. nothing.
He feels empty.
“Yama-chan?” the boy calls, but his friend just stays frozen on the spot, his eyes half-open and an unreadable smile carved on his face.
Chinen is scared. Worried. He reaches out for Yamada’s face - though he doesn’t know why - but Yamada takes a step behind.
“Yama-chan,” Chinen whispers, offended by the action. But no, it’s okay. It’s him they’re talking about.
“Are you.. okay?” he voices nervously, as he gazes into the blank eyes of Yamada Ryosuke.
Yamada nods, and the smile on his face fades away. He utters a few words - just five, actually - but they’re powerful enough to make Chinen cry again.
“I’m okay. Go home.”
“But-”
“Chinen.” His voice was cold. There wasn’t a trace of emotion in it, and Chinen nods. He’s scared, but he thinks he understands.
So Chinen leaves, just like that. There’s no more words to be exchanged, because if Chinen says one more word he thinks Yamada will explode. So he leaves the porch, shuts the gate quietly after him and departs, and Yamada gently closes the door.
The door clicks in place,
and Yamada breaks.
A strangled shout gets trapped in his throat, and all Yamada manages to get out of his system is a cough. A small, measly cough, but it’s enough to break the dam and release all of his pent-up, delayed emotions.
He crumbles into a small heap on the floor, sobbing and weeping tears of sorrow for the one person he held dear and wanted to be with for the rest of his life.
He cries and cries, the tears never seeming to end. He’s choked up on the inside, words and feelings all tangled up within him that he doesn’t know what to do, what to say or whether to continue crying or not.
He doesn’t know why he feels this way, but at the same time he does.
He promised, after all.
He promised to be with him by his side, by the waterfall, by the start of the bridge at where they first met. To be with him wherever he goes, actually; but it’s all gone now.
He promised to meet him tomorrow.
..
He promised.
Now there’s no one by his side anymore.
end of part 1
A/N: Well. At least there's more to this.