I need to calm down...
Okay, so you know how sometimes you wake up feeing happy or sad or something, and you know you had a dream but you can't remember it?
Okay, so this morning I woke up and I was all jumpy and freaked out. So, I tried to remember if I had any dreams, and I became confused because I vaguely remembered Jared Padalecki being in them- and how would a dream with Jared in it be bad?
Well, I just remembered. And it was bad- awful, even. And I'm still freaking out, because my mind just put too many things together too well.
Okay, so when I first showed my mom a picture of Jared, she replied with: "Oh, he is cute... You know, he's really your type. He reminds me a lot of your other boyfriends and crushes..." because she was really freaking out about me regressing 6 years into a 13 year old fangirl (a phase I never went through until now, ironically). And I thought about it, and realized she was right. So, we went through the various men in my life and, when we came to my ex-boyfriend of 1.5 years and my mom said that he was an exception. And I quirked and eyebrow at her, and said, "No... look at the nose. They're EXACTLY the same." And sure, enough, my mom agreed with me completely. They have the same nose. So last night online, a mutual friend of the ex and I asked me if I had seen him recently, and I'm pretty sure that's how this whole thing started.
So, the dream: (in all its vague and hazy glory because I don't remember everything):
I was meeting up with friends from high school, and it was going to be the first time I saw said ex in awhile. So, we were all hanging out outside at someone's house and the same friend I was talking to online last night was asking me about whether there were any new boys in my life (as he had last night) and I responded with the truth: no one but Jared Padalecki.
Suddenly, the ex pops in. "Jared Padalecki?" he asks, and here I am thinking I'm in for the nth degree, and I reply, "Yeah, he's an actor, it's not really..." And the ex smiles, and I got kinda nervous, because it would not be like him, especially in light of how things ended, to be happy for me (as if there was something to be happy for- god, I'm such an idiot) or entertained by my regression or something- whatever. The smile made me nervous.
"What...?" I asked.
"He's from Texas, right?"
"Yes... how did you-?"
"San Antonio?" [And yes, I did just look up to make sure I wasn't confusing where Jensen was from.]
"That's the one." And now I'm thinking/hoping that he's ready to drop the bomb and tell me he's got a new girlfriend who's obsessed with Supernatural and made him watch it with her. But no.
"You mean, my cousin?" And it hits me, because his father's family IS from Texas, and yes, is indeed from around San Antonio. "You mean, the one I'm going to go visit at the end of the summer?"
And I think I started laughing in order to keep from crying, because clearly, there's no way this can go but down.
And I don't know what happened next, but somehow I ended up on the ex's arm (I really don't want to know how that happened) in Texas at one big family reunion, and there's Jared, cowboy hat and all, and before I know it the ex is making introductions and then Jared is interrupting:
"That's right... I knew I'd seen you somewhere before-" because he stared at me at the Upfronts as he was walking into Madison Square Garden, "-who would've guessed it'd be in my cousin's prom pictures that my aunt showed me... your hair was different, right?"
And I can only kinda nod, because, well- yeah. And then Jared keeps talking.
"Last I heard," and it's weird, because all of the sudden he's talking in a Texan accent, "you were a little bitch who treated Matt here like shit," and he's leaning down and talking to me like I'm five or something. And, of course, what do you say to THAT? I mean, what I'm thinking is: of course the ex would say that I was a horrible person, but, I don't think I was and all that.
And then Jared says, "But I'm glad to see you're back together; always thought you two made a real nice couple..." And the ex gives me a little hug and smile and I'm ready to throw up. "... can't help but be jealous..."
And I finally find my voice: "Why?"
"Girlfriend just broke up with me."
I don't know what happened after that. I probably did throw up in the dream. So, I remember the important things (the words probably aren't exactly right, but you get the drift.)
Yeah, I NEED to calm down now. It was JUST a dream. I am NOT pulling a Sammy. *feels sick to stomach again* SEE? If I was pulling a Sammy, my head would hurt. Right... *tries to keep breathing*
Yup. I am a FREAK.
Okay, so this morning I woke up and I was all jumpy and freaked out. So, I tried to remember if I had any dreams, and I became confused because I vaguely remembered Jared Padalecki being in them- and how would a dream with Jared in it be bad?
Well, I just remembered. And it was bad- awful, even. And I'm still freaking out, because my mind just put too many things together too well.
Okay, so when I first showed my mom a picture of Jared, she replied with: "Oh, he is cute... You know, he's really your type. He reminds me a lot of your other boyfriends and crushes..." because she was really freaking out about me regressing 6 years into a 13 year old fangirl (a phase I never went through until now, ironically). And I thought about it, and realized she was right. So, we went through the various men in my life and, when we came to my ex-boyfriend of 1.5 years and my mom said that he was an exception. And I quirked and eyebrow at her, and said, "No... look at the nose. They're EXACTLY the same." And sure, enough, my mom agreed with me completely. They have the same nose. So last night online, a mutual friend of the ex and I asked me if I had seen him recently, and I'm pretty sure that's how this whole thing started.
So, the dream: (in all its vague and hazy glory because I don't remember everything):
I was meeting up with friends from high school, and it was going to be the first time I saw said ex in awhile. So, we were all hanging out outside at someone's house and the same friend I was talking to online last night was asking me about whether there were any new boys in my life (as he had last night) and I responded with the truth: no one but Jared Padalecki.
Suddenly, the ex pops in. "Jared Padalecki?" he asks, and here I am thinking I'm in for the nth degree, and I reply, "Yeah, he's an actor, it's not really..." And the ex smiles, and I got kinda nervous, because it would not be like him, especially in light of how things ended, to be happy for me (as if there was something to be happy for- god, I'm such an idiot) or entertained by my regression or something- whatever. The smile made me nervous.
"What...?" I asked.
"He's from Texas, right?"
"Yes... how did you-?"
"San Antonio?" [And yes, I did just look up to make sure I wasn't confusing where Jensen was from.]
"That's the one." And now I'm thinking/hoping that he's ready to drop the bomb and tell me he's got a new girlfriend who's obsessed with Supernatural and made him watch it with her. But no.
"You mean, my cousin?" And it hits me, because his father's family IS from Texas, and yes, is indeed from around San Antonio. "You mean, the one I'm going to go visit at the end of the summer?"
And I think I started laughing in order to keep from crying, because clearly, there's no way this can go but down.
And I don't know what happened next, but somehow I ended up on the ex's arm (I really don't want to know how that happened) in Texas at one big family reunion, and there's Jared, cowboy hat and all, and before I know it the ex is making introductions and then Jared is interrupting:
"That's right... I knew I'd seen you somewhere before-" because he stared at me at the Upfronts as he was walking into Madison Square Garden, "-who would've guessed it'd be in my cousin's prom pictures that my aunt showed me... your hair was different, right?"
And I can only kinda nod, because, well- yeah. And then Jared keeps talking.
"Last I heard," and it's weird, because all of the sudden he's talking in a Texan accent, "you were a little bitch who treated Matt here like shit," and he's leaning down and talking to me like I'm five or something. And, of course, what do you say to THAT? I mean, what I'm thinking is: of course the ex would say that I was a horrible person, but, I don't think I was and all that.
And then Jared says, "But I'm glad to see you're back together; always thought you two made a real nice couple..." And the ex gives me a little hug and smile and I'm ready to throw up. "... can't help but be jealous..."
And I finally find my voice: "Why?"
"Girlfriend just broke up with me."
I don't know what happened after that. I probably did throw up in the dream. So, I remember the important things (the words probably aren't exactly right, but you get the drift.)
Yeah, I NEED to calm down now. It was JUST a dream. I am NOT pulling a Sammy. *feels sick to stomach again* SEE? If I was pulling a Sammy, my head would hurt. Right... *tries to keep breathing*
Yup. I am a FREAK.