The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return.
Well, my break didn't last long. But that's okay. Basically what happened was James and I broke up. Or we almost did. I don't know, it's a long story. I was thinking out loud on the way home from Columbus about how emotional I am and how unemotional he can be, and the conversation turned into how we were never supposed to get this serious so fast because we are both so young and his last relationship was a six year one that ended very badly with a broken engagement, so he is still kinda messed up about it. Fast forward a bit and it turns into us having a week to think about what to do and if we should continue because the future was so unsure. Well needless to say, I freaked. I love that boy with all my heart, and deep down I know it is more than just a infatuation or lust or highschool bofriend/girlfriend sort of thing. For the first time in my life I feel completely whole and in tune with another person. I know that I truly love him and my whole deal has been that I know how I feel but I only knew my side of it and to think that maybe I was so far in and it be an unrequited thing bothered me a lot. So after freaking out by myself for three hours, I broke the week break and called him and we got together to talk. Well we discussed everything for quite some time about what to do. Him thinking it should end before we are hurt, me thinking he was the best thing in my life and I was unsure how I would handle being without him and he finally broke down and admitted to me out loud that he did love me and in his own logic it was easier to be hurt right now and end it than to worry about the future and if things will be worse now that he knew how far in we both were. I mean my whole thing always was that I knew how I felt about him but he is very private about his feelings and emotions and I didn't know if I was more into us than he was. I just needed verbal validation because to me that is very important. I guess it took all this to find out that he felt the same way. I mean yeah, actions speak louder than words but I always worry that I might read to much into actions ya know... So the end result, we are together, and both know where the other one stands. I really did freak out and I thank each and every one of you who were there for me... I guess I just had to sort everything out myself first. But all is well and I am apparently back =).