Silence is golden
Sometimes I don't really know what to think. It's really strange to feel happy sometimes. I mean, who doesn't want to be happy? But's it's just kinda weird that I'm almost more comfortable when I'm unhappy with my life than when I am happy. I don't know. I think the reason I feel so much more comfortable when I'm unhappy is that I don't really know what what It's really like to enjoy my life. It's not like anything really bad has ever happened to me. But when something good happens, its almost a shock to the nervous system. The only way I can really descibe it is strange.
Most of the time I find myself throwing everything at the first person that shows the least bit of interest. And right now... it's almost like now, neither of us show that we're really attatched to eachother. So it's almost like nothing has changed. And... that makes me feel better. Somehow. I don't really understand it. But... it works. It's like in Pulp Fiction, how Uma Thurman says how nice it is when you don't have to sit and make pointless small talk.. when you can just shut the fuck up and enjoy eachother's company. Perfect.
Most of the time, there's so much going on in my brain that I can't think clearly. I can't shut my brain up for 10 minutes to just have a clear-headed conversation... plus there's hundreds of songs running over the top of the deafening chatter of random thoughts blowing through my mind. And then I go up to Bellingham and sit in the silence of the apartment, no tv, no music, just the two of us sitting and listening to nothing, and suddenly all the chaos is extinquished. My brain is quiet. It's.... perfect.
Now I'm back at home and the white noise has returned. This is aggravating
Ok... I can't ramble anymore...
Most of the time I find myself throwing everything at the first person that shows the least bit of interest. And right now... it's almost like now, neither of us show that we're really attatched to eachother. So it's almost like nothing has changed. And... that makes me feel better. Somehow. I don't really understand it. But... it works. It's like in Pulp Fiction, how Uma Thurman says how nice it is when you don't have to sit and make pointless small talk.. when you can just shut the fuck up and enjoy eachother's company. Perfect.
Most of the time, there's so much going on in my brain that I can't think clearly. I can't shut my brain up for 10 minutes to just have a clear-headed conversation... plus there's hundreds of songs running over the top of the deafening chatter of random thoughts blowing through my mind. And then I go up to Bellingham and sit in the silence of the apartment, no tv, no music, just the two of us sitting and listening to nothing, and suddenly all the chaos is extinquished. My brain is quiet. It's.... perfect.
Now I'm back at home and the white noise has returned. This is aggravating
Ok... I can't ramble anymore...