Fic: Of Pretty Boys And Paradoxes
Title: Of Pretty Boys And Paradoxes
Pairing: Jaejoong/Yunho
Rating: R-ish
Jung Yunho meets Kim Jaejoong for the first time through one Shim Changmin. Changmin is tutoring the older boy, lines evident in his face at Jaejoong’s indifference to chemical equilibrium, when Yunho steps in and borrow Changmin for the rest of the afternoon, effectively releasing both boys from their own personal hell for the day.
Jaejoong is a paradox: school shirt always half untucked, first three buttons always undone, yet hair never less than immaculately styled. Jaejoong is harsh and brittle around the edges while in motion, yet Yunho doesn’t think he’s ever seen anyone quite as smooth and cold and beautiful when he is just sitting there, like a lone alabaster carving. Jaejoong is worldly and irreverent, but Yunho thinks sometimes that he’s never met someone quite so naïve before.
In comparison, Jung Yunho is almost simple.
---
Look at us, Jaejoong muses one afternoon. It is grey and cold and Yunho would have much preferred to be sitting in the school cafeteria with coffee, but then Jaejoong can’t light up in the school cafeteria. Jaejoong brings the cigarette to his lips and inhales deeply, then puffs out smoke that spirals lazily into the air with an immensely satisfied sigh. Want a drag?
Yunho’s mouth twists in distaste, loosening his tie and adjusting his glasses coolly. I’d rather not die twenty years before my time because of that, if that’s fine with you.
Jaejoong laughs, then. God you can be so uptight. He leans back against the wall, slouches, then continues speaking. They are near at the back of the old abandoned gym across the huge soccer field, away from any prying eyes. Look at us. I know why I’m here, but why are you? That’s the difference between us, Yunho-ah. You’re the good son, the heir, the pride of the family, while I-, and here Jaejoong pauses dramatically, -am the rebel, the disgrace, and nearly disinherited. His gaze narrows as he speaks, but the challenge in his eyes grows and Yunho can’t quite keep himself from rolling his eyes.
Poor little rich boy, Yunho sneers, and is rewarded for his wit when Jaejoong throws down the cigarette, stubs it out with his shoe, and advances.
---
They fuck in closets and empty classrooms and toilet cubicles, anywhere, really, sometimes even in the back of Yunho’s limousine as they drive aimlessly around town in the dark of night, the partition closed, his chauffeur blind and deaf to the happenings in the backseat, for which Yunho pays him well later. Yunho has never invited Jaejoong home, and vice versa, for all that they live one street apart, for all that their fathers are business partners, and friends. Jaejoong never attends social events, but Yunho still remembers his shock at seeing the other boy, immaculate and suave, at some sinfully boring party or other, remembers the shiver that starts at the base of his spine and works its way upwards at the look of liquid desire in Jaejoong’s dark eyes, at the way his fine suit fits on his lithe form, at how much he wants him. Yunho remembers cornering Jaejoong in one of the countless empty rooms in the huge mansion later that night, after dinner, remembers Jaejoong turning, as if he’s been expecting him, remembers locking the door and leaving more than an hour later, desperately trying to hide the mark on his neck and shut out the sound of Jaejoong’s low laughter in his ears.
---
Yunho dates girls, rich, spoilt princesses that his father picks out for him. He takes them out to dinner and makes polite conversation and sends them home on time, but then never calls again. His father is exasperated, but Yunho’s reply is always the same, and it’s true, how there’s nothing different about them. They are all coquettish and giggly and pampered, and Yunho’s had enough of coquettish and giggly and pampered to last him a lifetime. He is on his way to dinner with another one of these girls, another nameless, faceless clone, when he spies Jaejoong across the street, bowed over a bowl of noodles at a roadside stall. He stops abruptly and apologises curtly for having to cancel all of a sudden, he’s suddenly remembered something he has to do, so sorry, and ignores the girl’s sulks as he hails her a taxi and bundles her up in it before crossing the street at a jog. Jaejoong is still immersed in his food, and looks up in surprise when a very finely dressed Jung Yunho settles onto the stool next to him.
Bit overdressed for a bowl of noodles by the road, aren’t you? Jaejoong smirks, and Yunho tells him to shut up and eat.
---
They fuck this time in the open, hands fumbling and breaths coming harsh and fast, shivering slightly in the cold air. Yunho doesn’t know if it’s his body’s involuntary response to not having touched Jaejoong in a week or the very real prospect that they could get caught any moment having sex in the open, in school, for god’s sake, but Jaejoong’s lips are quickly pushing him over the edge and Yunho grits his teeth and pulls away. Jaejoong glances up from his crouch on the ground, eyes glazed and half-lidded, and god Yunho wishes he had a camera so he could immortalize that expression. He pulls Jaejoong up roughly by the hand. Jaejoong’s pants are already undone and half off, and Jaejoong is panting and moaning as Yunho pushes him up against the wall and thrusts into him, Yunho-ah, god, Yunho-ah, and fuck, Jaejoong’s voice, damnit, damn Jaejoong, as Yunho tightens his grip on Jaejoong’s slender hips, even as he knows he’ll leave bruises, but he can’t seem to bring himself to care, groaning incoherently into the side of Jaejoong’s neck as he comes to keep himself from crying out loud, Jaejoong’s hand muffling his own mouth mere seconds later serving the same purpose.
---
Jaejoong’s birthday is just days before Yunho’s, and Yunho wonders if he should get Jaejoong a present. Something snarky, maybe, like condoms. Maybe I’ll just get him cigarettes, he muses wryly. At least Jaejoong’d get some use out of cigarettes. He can’t help but chuckle at his own wit and doesn’t notice Jaejoong coming into the classroom until he smacks Yunho on the head for grinning like an idiot.
It is nine in the morning and the day of Jaejoong’s birthday and Yunho is all out of ideas. Halfway through a mind-numbingly boring History lecture Yunho stands up, bookbag already slung over his shoulder, pleads illness and escapes from the classroom. Five minutes later he is outside Jaejoong’s class, bowing respectfully to the surprised teacher, and asking if he can borrow Kim Jaejoong, right now, it’s an emergency, and the teacher blinks, but lets him, because it’s Jung Yunho, and Yunho is dependable, if nothing else, and waves a visibly confused Jaejoong out of class.
They run out of school, hands linked, heady with the thrill of escape and freedom, and spend the rest of the day at the amusement park, where they share cotton candy and Jaejoong clings to his arm on the roller coaster, where Jaejoong kisses him, soft and tasting of sugar, at the top of the ferris wheel, where Yunho kisses back, and thinks of how much he likes this side of Jaejoong.
---
Jaejoong is always oddly compliant after sex, and Yunho relishes the feel of Jaejoong in his arms, Jaejoong who lets Yunho kiss his shoulder, touch his hair, Jaejoong who usually hates to be touched first. The wall is cool against his back, the grass soft beneath his legs, and Yunho sighs, knowing they’ll have to move, soon, pull up their pants and don their shirts and straighten their ties, and go back, back, back into the world of crowded corridors and endless streams of students.
Jaejoong murmurs into his bare chest, voice so soft and muffled that Yunho can barely make out the words, when are you leaving?
Yunho stiffens, almost against his own will, only relaxing when Jaejoong’s fingers stroke, soothingly, up and down and up and down his arm. Next week, he replies, throat going dry all of a sudden.
I see, and they say no more, only stay as they are, Yunho’s skin chilled by more than the wind, until the bell rings.
---
Jaejoong surprises him with a book of poetry on his birthday, and Yunho smiles at the worn, dog-eared copy, smiles at how well loved it’s been, and Jaejoong flushes before pressing it into his hands and kissing him a happy birthday.
Yunho reads each and every poem in the book and his heart clenches at how they’re all about unrequited love, desperate longing, and wistful inadequacy, and when they meet next in the boys’ toilets Yunho kisses Jaejoong breathless and then takes a very surprised Jaejoong out to dinner.
---
It is always like this, Yunho thinks. Perhaps they’ve set a pattern early on that they can’t quite break out of. First the heated exchanges, then the sex, and finally the quiet, soft satisfaction later as they lean on each other, attempting to slow down their racing hearts. Yunho suspects, though, that today there will be no resolution.
Jaejoong calls him a fucking prince, and Yunho calls him a clueless, oblivious child caught in his own tiny snare of misery who’s intent on squandering all his father’s money, and Jaejoong kisses him roughly and claws at Yunho’s shirt and Yunho fucks him for the last time, until they are both gasping and groaning, reckless and uncaring about who might hear.
Jaejoong is pulling up his pants almost immediately afterwards, and Yunho tries to ignore the persistent stab in his chest, even as he calls out after a retreating Jaejoong, I’ll see you at graduation tomorrow, won’t I?
Jaejoong turns back briefly and shrugs wordlessly, painfully eloquently, before walking away.
Yunho waits until Jaejoong is out of sight before slamming his fist into the wall, again and again and again, Jaejoong’s face in his eyes, voice in his ear, until his knuckles turn bloody.
---
Graduation is an oddly contained affair, and Yunho scans the crowd hopefully while getting up for his speech, and afterwards, when he is surrounded by a crowd of well-wishers and friends clapping him heartily on the back, and fights the way his heart clenches at not seeing Jaejoong.
---
Yunho finds himself at the gate to the Kim residence barely one month after graduation. He is admitted by a smiling, elderly maid and greeted by a wary, disheveled Kim Jaejoong, dressed only in loose shorts and rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
You went, didn’t you, Jaejoong says, almost accusingly, and Yunho nods.
Yes, I went, he replies, and waits. Jaejoong frowns suspiciously.
Why are you back, then? It’s a bit early to be visiting, Jaejoong scowls and crosses his arms manfully, quite a feat, Yunho thinks, considering he’s quite a bit more than just half-naked.
I’m not going back, Yunho decides to go with the truth. There was nothing for me there.
Jaejoong gapes. There was nothing for you at Harvard law? God that must be the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say, especially after you worked that pretty ass off just to even qualify, and Yunho can’t help but laugh at Jaejoong’s incredulity. It’s all you’ve ever wanted, isn’t it? Jaejoong is stalking around the room now, and Yunho catches at his arm, and pulls him close.
No, I’ve just realized this is all I’ve ever wanted, and Yunho is kissing Jaejoong, who hits him hard and struggles briefly through his muffled sounds of outrage before melting into the kiss and relaxing in Yunho’s grasp.
Yunho makes a growl of protest when Jaejoong pushes him away roughly.
If you think you can just come and, and violate me in my own house…!, and Jaejoong is spluttering and running off in search of some proper pants and Yunho laughs and laughs and laughs because now, he thinks, now it’s all going to be just fine.
Pairing: Jaejoong/Yunho
Rating: R-ish
Jung Yunho meets Kim Jaejoong for the first time through one Shim Changmin. Changmin is tutoring the older boy, lines evident in his face at Jaejoong’s indifference to chemical equilibrium, when Yunho steps in and borrow Changmin for the rest of the afternoon, effectively releasing both boys from their own personal hell for the day.
Jaejoong is a paradox: school shirt always half untucked, first three buttons always undone, yet hair never less than immaculately styled. Jaejoong is harsh and brittle around the edges while in motion, yet Yunho doesn’t think he’s ever seen anyone quite as smooth and cold and beautiful when he is just sitting there, like a lone alabaster carving. Jaejoong is worldly and irreverent, but Yunho thinks sometimes that he’s never met someone quite so naïve before.
In comparison, Jung Yunho is almost simple.
---
Look at us, Jaejoong muses one afternoon. It is grey and cold and Yunho would have much preferred to be sitting in the school cafeteria with coffee, but then Jaejoong can’t light up in the school cafeteria. Jaejoong brings the cigarette to his lips and inhales deeply, then puffs out smoke that spirals lazily into the air with an immensely satisfied sigh. Want a drag?
Yunho’s mouth twists in distaste, loosening his tie and adjusting his glasses coolly. I’d rather not die twenty years before my time because of that, if that’s fine with you.
Jaejoong laughs, then. God you can be so uptight. He leans back against the wall, slouches, then continues speaking. They are near at the back of the old abandoned gym across the huge soccer field, away from any prying eyes. Look at us. I know why I’m here, but why are you? That’s the difference between us, Yunho-ah. You’re the good son, the heir, the pride of the family, while I-, and here Jaejoong pauses dramatically, -am the rebel, the disgrace, and nearly disinherited. His gaze narrows as he speaks, but the challenge in his eyes grows and Yunho can’t quite keep himself from rolling his eyes.
Poor little rich boy, Yunho sneers, and is rewarded for his wit when Jaejoong throws down the cigarette, stubs it out with his shoe, and advances.
---
They fuck in closets and empty classrooms and toilet cubicles, anywhere, really, sometimes even in the back of Yunho’s limousine as they drive aimlessly around town in the dark of night, the partition closed, his chauffeur blind and deaf to the happenings in the backseat, for which Yunho pays him well later. Yunho has never invited Jaejoong home, and vice versa, for all that they live one street apart, for all that their fathers are business partners, and friends. Jaejoong never attends social events, but Yunho still remembers his shock at seeing the other boy, immaculate and suave, at some sinfully boring party or other, remembers the shiver that starts at the base of his spine and works its way upwards at the look of liquid desire in Jaejoong’s dark eyes, at the way his fine suit fits on his lithe form, at how much he wants him. Yunho remembers cornering Jaejoong in one of the countless empty rooms in the huge mansion later that night, after dinner, remembers Jaejoong turning, as if he’s been expecting him, remembers locking the door and leaving more than an hour later, desperately trying to hide the mark on his neck and shut out the sound of Jaejoong’s low laughter in his ears.
---
Yunho dates girls, rich, spoilt princesses that his father picks out for him. He takes them out to dinner and makes polite conversation and sends them home on time, but then never calls again. His father is exasperated, but Yunho’s reply is always the same, and it’s true, how there’s nothing different about them. They are all coquettish and giggly and pampered, and Yunho’s had enough of coquettish and giggly and pampered to last him a lifetime. He is on his way to dinner with another one of these girls, another nameless, faceless clone, when he spies Jaejoong across the street, bowed over a bowl of noodles at a roadside stall. He stops abruptly and apologises curtly for having to cancel all of a sudden, he’s suddenly remembered something he has to do, so sorry, and ignores the girl’s sulks as he hails her a taxi and bundles her up in it before crossing the street at a jog. Jaejoong is still immersed in his food, and looks up in surprise when a very finely dressed Jung Yunho settles onto the stool next to him.
Bit overdressed for a bowl of noodles by the road, aren’t you? Jaejoong smirks, and Yunho tells him to shut up and eat.
---
They fuck this time in the open, hands fumbling and breaths coming harsh and fast, shivering slightly in the cold air. Yunho doesn’t know if it’s his body’s involuntary response to not having touched Jaejoong in a week or the very real prospect that they could get caught any moment having sex in the open, in school, for god’s sake, but Jaejoong’s lips are quickly pushing him over the edge and Yunho grits his teeth and pulls away. Jaejoong glances up from his crouch on the ground, eyes glazed and half-lidded, and god Yunho wishes he had a camera so he could immortalize that expression. He pulls Jaejoong up roughly by the hand. Jaejoong’s pants are already undone and half off, and Jaejoong is panting and moaning as Yunho pushes him up against the wall and thrusts into him, Yunho-ah, god, Yunho-ah, and fuck, Jaejoong’s voice, damnit, damn Jaejoong, as Yunho tightens his grip on Jaejoong’s slender hips, even as he knows he’ll leave bruises, but he can’t seem to bring himself to care, groaning incoherently into the side of Jaejoong’s neck as he comes to keep himself from crying out loud, Jaejoong’s hand muffling his own mouth mere seconds later serving the same purpose.
---
Jaejoong’s birthday is just days before Yunho’s, and Yunho wonders if he should get Jaejoong a present. Something snarky, maybe, like condoms. Maybe I’ll just get him cigarettes, he muses wryly. At least Jaejoong’d get some use out of cigarettes. He can’t help but chuckle at his own wit and doesn’t notice Jaejoong coming into the classroom until he smacks Yunho on the head for grinning like an idiot.
It is nine in the morning and the day of Jaejoong’s birthday and Yunho is all out of ideas. Halfway through a mind-numbingly boring History lecture Yunho stands up, bookbag already slung over his shoulder, pleads illness and escapes from the classroom. Five minutes later he is outside Jaejoong’s class, bowing respectfully to the surprised teacher, and asking if he can borrow Kim Jaejoong, right now, it’s an emergency, and the teacher blinks, but lets him, because it’s Jung Yunho, and Yunho is dependable, if nothing else, and waves a visibly confused Jaejoong out of class.
They run out of school, hands linked, heady with the thrill of escape and freedom, and spend the rest of the day at the amusement park, where they share cotton candy and Jaejoong clings to his arm on the roller coaster, where Jaejoong kisses him, soft and tasting of sugar, at the top of the ferris wheel, where Yunho kisses back, and thinks of how much he likes this side of Jaejoong.
---
Jaejoong is always oddly compliant after sex, and Yunho relishes the feel of Jaejoong in his arms, Jaejoong who lets Yunho kiss his shoulder, touch his hair, Jaejoong who usually hates to be touched first. The wall is cool against his back, the grass soft beneath his legs, and Yunho sighs, knowing they’ll have to move, soon, pull up their pants and don their shirts and straighten their ties, and go back, back, back into the world of crowded corridors and endless streams of students.
Jaejoong murmurs into his bare chest, voice so soft and muffled that Yunho can barely make out the words, when are you leaving?
Yunho stiffens, almost against his own will, only relaxing when Jaejoong’s fingers stroke, soothingly, up and down and up and down his arm. Next week, he replies, throat going dry all of a sudden.
I see, and they say no more, only stay as they are, Yunho’s skin chilled by more than the wind, until the bell rings.
---
Jaejoong surprises him with a book of poetry on his birthday, and Yunho smiles at the worn, dog-eared copy, smiles at how well loved it’s been, and Jaejoong flushes before pressing it into his hands and kissing him a happy birthday.
Yunho reads each and every poem in the book and his heart clenches at how they’re all about unrequited love, desperate longing, and wistful inadequacy, and when they meet next in the boys’ toilets Yunho kisses Jaejoong breathless and then takes a very surprised Jaejoong out to dinner.
---
It is always like this, Yunho thinks. Perhaps they’ve set a pattern early on that they can’t quite break out of. First the heated exchanges, then the sex, and finally the quiet, soft satisfaction later as they lean on each other, attempting to slow down their racing hearts. Yunho suspects, though, that today there will be no resolution.
Jaejoong calls him a fucking prince, and Yunho calls him a clueless, oblivious child caught in his own tiny snare of misery who’s intent on squandering all his father’s money, and Jaejoong kisses him roughly and claws at Yunho’s shirt and Yunho fucks him for the last time, until they are both gasping and groaning, reckless and uncaring about who might hear.
Jaejoong is pulling up his pants almost immediately afterwards, and Yunho tries to ignore the persistent stab in his chest, even as he calls out after a retreating Jaejoong, I’ll see you at graduation tomorrow, won’t I?
Jaejoong turns back briefly and shrugs wordlessly, painfully eloquently, before walking away.
Yunho waits until Jaejoong is out of sight before slamming his fist into the wall, again and again and again, Jaejoong’s face in his eyes, voice in his ear, until his knuckles turn bloody.
---
Graduation is an oddly contained affair, and Yunho scans the crowd hopefully while getting up for his speech, and afterwards, when he is surrounded by a crowd of well-wishers and friends clapping him heartily on the back, and fights the way his heart clenches at not seeing Jaejoong.
---
Yunho finds himself at the gate to the Kim residence barely one month after graduation. He is admitted by a smiling, elderly maid and greeted by a wary, disheveled Kim Jaejoong, dressed only in loose shorts and rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
You went, didn’t you, Jaejoong says, almost accusingly, and Yunho nods.
Yes, I went, he replies, and waits. Jaejoong frowns suspiciously.
Why are you back, then? It’s a bit early to be visiting, Jaejoong scowls and crosses his arms manfully, quite a feat, Yunho thinks, considering he’s quite a bit more than just half-naked.
I’m not going back, Yunho decides to go with the truth. There was nothing for me there.
Jaejoong gapes. There was nothing for you at Harvard law? God that must be the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say, especially after you worked that pretty ass off just to even qualify, and Yunho can’t help but laugh at Jaejoong’s incredulity. It’s all you’ve ever wanted, isn’t it? Jaejoong is stalking around the room now, and Yunho catches at his arm, and pulls him close.
No, I’ve just realized this is all I’ve ever wanted, and Yunho is kissing Jaejoong, who hits him hard and struggles briefly through his muffled sounds of outrage before melting into the kiss and relaxing in Yunho’s grasp.
Yunho makes a growl of protest when Jaejoong pushes him away roughly.
If you think you can just come and, and violate me in my own house…!, and Jaejoong is spluttering and running off in search of some proper pants and Yunho laughs and laughs and laughs because now, he thinks, now it’s all going to be just fine.