overcoming darkness: ch. 3
soooo it's been a while....but here's the newest installment...betaed quite a bit by me. if anyone is willing to a reliable betaer who can do things pretty quickly, feel free to contact me. without further ado:
Title: Overcoming Darkness (Ch. 3)
Author: sugareey
Rating: this chapter is pg-13
Pairing: H/D
Summary: Harry Potter always dreams of darkness. He can't sleep. Voldemort's making things worse. But Draco is miraculously the one to help him. Draco reconsiders where his loyalties lie. Maybe both Harry and Draco will overcome darkness...together.
Disclaimers: props to J.K.R. as for manipulating her characters...you can thank me.
Warning: it's going to start off soft...but it'll get interesting before you know it..
A/N: this took me a while to get things right. i've put in some plot...with some minor spoiler hints from HBP...those i'm sure you can find yourself. however since i started this post OotP instead of post HBP...it's going to have to go somewhere...so bear with me. any mistakes...eh..i suppose you can blame me. =P cheers!
“Harry? Harry, are you all right?”
Harry was staring blankly into the fireplace of the Gryffindor common room when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned his head to find Ron and Hermione looking at him, utterly concerned.
“You’ve been so down lately,” commented Hermione softly. “Almost mute nowadays.”
“Look, mate,” said Ron sympathetically, “we know something’s up. We want you to tell us things. We want to help, you know. At least to cheer you up. It’s torture to see you like this.”
“It’s true, Harry,” insisted Hermione. “It’s like you never talk to us anymore.”
Harry tried to avoid eye contact. He busied himself by playing with the fringe of his chair, remaining silent. He couldn’t bring himself to admit the truth. He knew his friends were right: he wasn’t telling them much. But he couldn’t express his true feelings. About what really happened with Sirius. Or how he’s falling for Draco. Or is he?
It has to be a joke. Malfoy would never be serious about it. Being seen with me? Admitting that he’s queer?
No, Harry could never let his friends know what happened between him and Draco. Or let alone have them find out where his sexuality stands. After his horrendous relationship with Cho, Harry pretended that he wanted to keep his love life on the down low. It was a good excuse, especially with the war breaking out. Ron and Hermione always assumed that 6th year would the year that Harry would find someone. To help him cope with things. To be there for him. Not like they weren’t; they were his friends. But they couldn’t give the love that Harry needed.
Admitting that he was gay would be like 5th year all over again, when he overheard what Moody was saying at St. Mungo’s through the Extendable Ears. But it would be 10 times worse. Stepping out of the closet would make Harry even more of an outcast. He didn’t need that. Life was already hard just dealing with Voldemort.
Feeling sick to his stomach with so many thoughts swimming through his mind, he accidentally knocked his Potions and Transfiguration books and essays to the floor. Shaking, Harry attempted to pick them up but Ron beat him to it, putting them into Harry’s bag.
“Harry?” inquired Ron, worried. “You ought to get some rest. You look like a ghost! Let me help you…”
“Don’t worry about me, Ron,” Harry managed to say. “I’ll be fine, really. Probably just the lack of sleep between Occlumency, homework, and Quidditch.”
“Are you sure, mate?”
“Yeah…”
“Oh Harry! I’m hoping that you’re telling us the truth!” said Hermione anxiously. “You know that we’ll always be there for you, right? I mean, if anything bothers you…”
“We’re right behind you,” finished Ron supportively.
“I know,” replied Harry, swinging his bag over his shoulder.
“We care about you, Harry,” continued Hermione quietly. “We want you to be happy. But please, can you at least tell us how you’re doing every once in a while?”
“I will, Hermione. Really, I appreciate this a lot,” replied Harry tentatively. “Thanks…I’ll see you two tomorrow…”
“Umm…what’s that on your neck?”
Harry hastily pulled up his collar to cover the exposed hickey. He would definitely have to do something about that later.
“Nothing…it was just something from earlier…I’m off to bed. ‘Night.”
He made his way up to the boys’ dormitories, feeling the stares of his friends against his back. Dropping his bag near his bed, he quickly changed into pajamas and slipped into bed.
How can I actually lie to the people I’ve known so well? To the people I trust? This is a betrayal…to hide it all from them. But how can they accept someone like me? I’m a mess. I almost got them nearly killed in the Department of Mysteries. And for them to find out that I’m “fraternizing with the enemy” would be…
Sighing heavily, Harry drew the covers over his head and fell into a deep sleep that would surely be filled with nightmares once again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Laughter filled the Slytherin common room. A group of students were huddled near the fire, plotting another prank to pull onto the Hufflepuffs. Others were gossiping about the latest news regarding the progress of the war. Draco could only listen to the noise from his dormitory.
He was sitting on his trunk near his bed, poking his wand absently at the floor and making small char marks. Usually, he would be joining his fellow Slytherins to lead the scheming for mayhem or having a conversation about those he hated the most. Like Harry Potter.
Draco’s insides squirmed at the thought of Harry. He was still confused about what happened at the Astronomy Tower. He couldn’t be sure if he kissed Harry because he wanted to or just for the hell of it. Because Harry was just there.
But why Potter? Why him? It could have been another bloke…but I snogged him…again!
He banged his fist on the trunk, making it rattle. He glared at the wall opposite him.
Why can’t I just like girls? Things would be normal…there wouldn’t be so many secrets untold…
“Drakey-Poo?”
“Yes, Pansy?” Draco glanced up menacingly at the pug-faced girl, now standing in the doorway.
“I-I wanted to see how you are…you’re not in the common room with everyone else.”
“I know,” responded Draco coldly as he stood up and walked toward the window. “I’m just thinking…”
“Are you sure things are okay?” asked Pansy, concerned.
“I suppose,” Draco, shrugging his shoulders.
“C’mon, lighten up. We’ve got a really good plan that you have to hear!”
Draco raised an eyebrow at Pansy. “How good?”
“It’s probably the best prank we’ve come up with in ages! They’ll be clueless by the time we spring it upon them!”
Pansy’s eyes were dancing with determination and glee as she waited for Draco’s answer.
Draco looked out of the window at the grounds for a minute.
Why do I need Saint Potter? I don’t! Oh to hell with the stupid savior…
Walking towards the doorway to join Pansy, Draco gave her a satisfied expression.
“I guess I’ll have to find out myself, won’t I?”
They smiled at each other before retreating to the common room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Today will consist of brewing a very complicated concoction,” Snape told his N.E.W.T. Potions
class. “This will be very crucial to your upcoming exams at the end of the year, so I daresay that you will want to pay close attention.”
Students looked at each other curiously as they muttered under their breaths.
It was amazing to still be in the dungeons, as Harry was positive he had failed his O.W.L. But to his surprise and displeasure, the very stubborn Potions master, under Dumbledore’s orders, somehow took him into the class. Harry had managed to scrape an E, even though he needed an O to pass. Perhaps Dumbledore wanted Snape to keep an eye on Harry more than ever. Whatever the reason was, Harry now miraculously sat beside Ron, who also earned an E on his O.W.L. After all, looking into a career as Aurors meant suffering the consequences.
Hermione, on the other hand, dropped Potions to take lessons relevant to a career involving Arithmancy and Ancient Runes. She obviously got an O on her O.W.L, but insisted that N.E.W.T. Potions would be unnecessary for the job she wanted to pursue.
“Veritaserum,” Snape now spoke, “is a substance to seek out the truth. Be warned that its use is highly restricted. Only in certain occasions may it be used on a person to obtain important information.”
Harry pretended to read his textbook as he felt Snape’s glinting eyes rest upon him.
“Potter, are you listening?”
Harry drew his gaze from the book to look at Snape. “Yes, sir.”
“I daresay you should be…”
Harry was waiting for Snape to take points off from Gryffindor but Snape continued his lecture instead.
“Veritaserum should not be meddled with, as it is quite dangerous. One drop can make a person spill out everything. However, there are certain circumstances in which one may fight the effects of the substance. As a precaution, you ought to know that vulnerability tends to be highly useful when using Veritaserum. It weakens the mind…”
“Like the Imperius Curse,” thought Harry silently as he continued to flip through his book. “If you can fight it off…”
Snape waved his wand and instantly a set of instructions appeared on the blackboard.
“Yes, you will each be paired up to brew your own Veritaserum. Because this will take various classes to complete, leave your cauldrons out once you’ve followed the instructions. What you do today will be essential for the following classes to come.”
Everyone started to get up from their seats to form pairs. Harry and Ron grinned at each other as they reached for their potion ingredients but Snape’s icy voice made them freeze.
“Not so fast. It will be my honor to assign pairs that I’m sure you’ll be very compatible with.” Snape’s thin lips curled up brutally. “Weasley and Nott, Finnigan and Zabini, Macmillan with Parkinson…”
Harry knew exactly whom he would be paired up with as Snape continued to read from his list.
“Last but not least, Potter and Malfoy,” finished Snape, smiling curtly at Harry.
“That stupid, ugly…” started Ron.
“Don’t even think about it, Ron,” warned Harry. “If Snape hears you, he’ll dock off points for sure…maybe hand you a detention…”
“Blimey! That doesn’t make sense…” Ron scratched his head in thought. “Snape didn’t even take points off from you earlier for answering him…that must be a first…”
“Well be lucky he didn’t,” whispered Harry quickly as he gathered the rest of his ingredients. “Like that’s all we need.” Mentally though, Harry was thinking along the same lines.
Is Snape acting…neutral? Is that normal?
He felt his guts twisting nervously inside of him as he remembered who his partner was. Draco Malfoy. The name rang in Harry’s ears as he awkwardly set his stuff down onto the table. The blond was already getting to work, reading the potion instructions on the board intently. Harry could feel heat rising up his neck, aware of the proximity between them. He knew this was coming…Draco will probably have a good laugh at him. Harry was just a hopeless fool. He didn’t deserve anyone…
“Well, well, well. Looks like Potty’s here to join me.”
Harry’s eyes traveled up the usual sneering, pale face. He averted them from Draco, quickly focusing on organizing the necessary ingredients for their potion. A pang of emptiness and hurt stabbed his heart. Harry could feel the gray eyes fixed upon him, but he ignored it. It had been Draco who abandoned him on the Astronomy Tower, hadn’t it? He was the one who lead Harry on, making him feel like absolute shit. Harry had enough on his plate already. He was unsure if he could deal with the burden of loneliness that was sinking lower by the second into the pit of his stomach.
“Potter, start doing this half of the instructions here.”
Draco slipped a piece of parchment on the table toward Harry, his hand slightly trembling. Harry still couldn’t bear to look Draco in the eyes but stared down at the neat scrawl that listed his share of the day’s work. Perfect handwriting. If only things were perfect…
Without answering, Harry began to reach for a stash of Jobberknoll feathers. Draco did the same as well. Another horrible jolt ran through Harry as Draco’s hand brushed his own. Horrified, Harry ripped his hand away and furiously stuck the feathers in the cauldron in front of the pair.
He was being forced to work with the very person who pushed him away. Like he wasn’t needed anymore. Harry couldn’t help but question himself if he needed Draco. But then again, if it hadn’t been for Draco, Harry wouldn’t be here today. He would have been defeated, instantly giving Voldemort power once again to rule the Wizarding World. Is that what mattered? Was Harry’s sole purpose of life directed to kill Voldemort?
This very thought made Harry’s scar sear with agony. He clapped a hand to his forehead, white pain blinding him. He gripped the edge of the table, trying to keep his knees from buckling under him. He winced as his eyes began to sting. This was too much…especially now…
“Harry!”
Harry’s head shot up to look at the wide-eyed Slytherin, who was about to stir his portion of the potion. Draco watched as Snape peered into people’s cauldrons at the opposite end of the classroom. Turning back to look at Harry, he slowly put a quivering hand onto Harry’s arm.
“What’s wrong? It can’t possibly be happening now…”
“I-I…” began Harry before stopping suddenly.
The pain that had already traveled through his body by now was subsiding. Harry could feel Draco’s grip sending drafts of coolness all over him. It was like the feeling when Moody used the Disillusionment Charm on him before going to Grimmauld Place for the first time. Except Harry was still visible now. All the traces of suffering from a minute ago were wiped away. Harry met Draco’s gaze, clearly amazed with what just happened.
“I’m fine, thanks,” mumbled Harry, hastily chopping more ingredients to be thrown into the cauldron.
“Slow down,” said Draco softly as he grasped Harry’s wrist. “You’ll be cutting them the wrong size if you rush. Don’t want to cut your fingers off. Be patient…I’ll show you how it’s done…”
Before Harry had a chance to protest, Draco lifted Harry’s hand holding the knife and guided him in cutting even ingredient pieces. A warm feeling now rushed through Harry’s blood as he felt the milky skin on his own. Harry desperately tried to shake it off, but denial did him no good. He liked this attention He needs this attention.
He was thankful to hear Snape’s voice, giving him a chance to seize his hand back.
“You all should be done by now. Leave your cauldrons out for me to take care of. Clean up and class dismissed.”
Harry added the rest of his ingredients into the cauldron accordingly, leaving Draco to stir the concoction. He quickly cleaned up and grabbed his bag. He waited for Ron by the doorway, making sure he didn’t catch Draco’s eye. It was confusing how Draco’s usual coldness instantly turned into concern. Especially in Potions. It would have been odd if Snape and the rest of his classmates noticed. Thank goodness for Veritaserum, as it kept everyone occupied for the whole lesson.
Heaving a sigh of relief, Harry was glad to see Ron walking toward him to go to Charms. At the very last minute, Draco, Crabbe and Goyle cut right in front of Ron.
“Does it hurt to use some manners, Malfoy?” questioned Ron aggressively.
“I think you should mind your own, eh Weasel?” answered Malfoy, smirking. “Oh, but I’m not sure if your parents taught you any, living in such filth you call home…”
“You stupid, bloody f-”
“Ron, just leave it. Don’t even bother…” muttered Harry as he tried to push Ron through the doorway.
“What about you, Potter?”
Harry slowly turned around to stare at Draco.
“Yeah, that’s right. No manners either?” sneered Draco tauntingly. “You don’t even bother to say hello? I suppose you inherit that from that jerk of a father and a Mudblood for a mum. And maybe even from that blood traitor of a godfather if you’re lucky…pity that he died…”
Draco knew he crossed the line. The next thing he knew, Harry pounced onto him ferociously.
“Don’t even start…don’t you dare…” snarled Harry. His fingers sunk into Draco’s shoulders. He didn’t care that Draco was wincing. He wanted to hurt him so bad…after what they shared…after all he has been through…
The next moment, however, Harry felt himself hanging upside down in midair by his ankle. He luckily caught his robes from exposing some skin. Glancing next to him, Harry saw a shocked Draco looking back in the same position.
“That’s 100 points from Gryffindor…and unfortunately Slytherin,” announced Snape, face full of rage. “I don’t tolerate this type of behavior in my class, regardless of who you are!” His eyes narrowed at Draco.
The rest of the students were gawking at the scene, terrified.
“Well, what are you all staring at?” barked Snape nastily. “I said that class is dismissed once you are done! Clearly, no one is doing anything and there is no need to make matters worse…”
Everyone scrambled out of the doorway at once. Ron regretfully left last as Harry silently urged him to go.
Snape flicked his wand, dropping Harry and Draco onto the stone floor once the room was empty. He glared dangerously at both of them.
“I don’t want to see that ever again. Do you understand me?”
Harry and Draco nodded reluctantly.
“You both are to come down to this classroom at 8 o’clock tonight for detention. No, Potter,” assured Snape unpleasantly as if reading Harry’s mind, “This is only the beginning of it. You and Mr. Malfoy will be serving weekly detentions with me.”
“But sir!” protested Draco desperately. “Certainly you could make an adjustment on that! It was Potter’s fault here…he jumped on me first…”
“Draco, do not argue with me. You don’t want to make the consequences worse, now do you?” Snape’s voice slightly softened as he gave a small nod to Draco.
“No, sir.”
“8 o’clock tonight then. If you’re late,” Snape leered at Harry, “perhaps I’ll have to adjust the punishment to take away some opportunities of leisure…”
Harry dashed out of the classroom as soon as possible. His misery muddled up with boiling anger. He wanted to just run away from it all, to just forget about what happened…
“Potter!”
Harry didn’t bother to look back…he had to keep on going…the footsteps behind him were getting closer…
“H-harry, please. Harry…”
Harry was forced to halt as a hand clutched him hard on the shoulder. He spun around to find Draco catching his breath but nevertheless staring at him uneasily.
“I didn’t mean-”
“Leave me alone, Malfoy,” snapped Harry angrily. “You clearly knew what you wanted to say. I don’t know what you’re playing at-”
“Harry, I can explain-”
“So now you have the authority to call me by my first name, eh? No, you know what? I don’t know what the fuck you want from me-”
“Potter, stop-”
“You stop, Malfoy. You’ve always been the same bastard since the day we met. Just get hell out of my sight!”
Harry wrenched Draco’s reassuring hand off of him and ran down the corridor to Charms. He knew he was going to be late but he couldn’t care anymore. The tears began to spill down Harry’s face as he raced up the stairs, passing by some passerby Ravenclaws. Harry had no intention of going to class just yet. A stop at the bathroom was all he needed…he could collapse there…
As Harry shrugged his bag off and wiped his burning eyes with his sleeve he heard a very comforting yet familiar voice.
“Oh, hello Harry. Why are you crying?”
It was Moaning Myrtle, who was floating above the sinks and examining herself in the mirror.
“M-myrtle…” faltered Harry, determined to stop the tears, “N-n-no one understands me…t-they don’t know w-what’s g-going on…”
That did it. Harry broke down his defenses and let it all out. He let the tears trickle down endlessly while telling Myrtle everything. He told her everything he kept bottled up since June. Everything that no one else could ever know.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Harry! HARRY!”
Hermione and Ron ran down the marble staircase to catch up with Harry, who was moping across the entrance hall to the Great Hall. Harry turned to see his friends but quickly looked down, his messy black hair concealing his red, blotchy face.
They can’t see me like this…I have to go somewhere else…
“Harry, stop! Look at me!” said Hermione intolerantly. “Where were you at Charms today? You never skip class! Oh stop-” Hermione grabbed Harry’s arm, “You can’t keep running away from us! We want you to-oh!”
“Blimey, Harry! What happened?” asked Ron as he saw Harry’s face. “It didn’t have to do with earlier…”
Harry nodded weakly. He was aware of his swollen, bloodshot eyes and his shattered glasses. Maybe he wouldn’t exactly have to explain that he was crying and that he lost his temper in the bathroom, seeing how obvious that was.
“Let’s go in here…”
The trio made a detour to an empty classroom next to Firenze’s jungle of a room. Hermione closed the door and used her wand to lock it. She turned to face Harry.
“Harry, Ron told me about what happened with Malfoy. But I didn’t think it was this bad! I can’t believe you didn’t go to Madam Pomfrey!”
“It wasn’t that bad though!” argued Ron. “Malfoy didn’t even have a chance to take a swing at him before Snape took things in his own hands…”
“S-sirius,” rasped Harry.
“What?” queried Hermione, confused.
“Yeah, Malfoy was insulting me…about my parents. And then he had to rub it in that Sirius d-died…”
“That’s horrible! I wouldn’t think that-”
“It’s true…that stupid piece of hippogriff-” started Ron.
“Well, that’s Malfoy for you,” interrupted Harry with fury. “I reckon that Sirius’ death must have gotten around somehow. Maybe from some of those Death Eaters…they are ‘family friends’ to that loser of a father…”
“Harry, I’ve been trying to tell you all long! Malfoy’s definitely a Death Eater,” warned Ron apprehensively. “How else would he know all this stuff from the Department of Mysteries? I mean his dad’s locked up in Azkaban. Death Eaters wouldn’t tell him crap unless he was still with them…”
“Well, his mum is sisters with Bellatrix Lestrange, isn’t she?” asked Hermione, thinking hard. “So obviously she could have tipped them off-”
“And what about that ruddy, old house elf?” added Ron with realization. “I mean he actually tricked us all in thinking that Sirius was in the Department of Mysteries! The nutter…”
Hermione threw a dirty look at Ron. “You can’t exactly blame Kreacher for that though. I mean he was technically obligated to the Malfoys too…”
“Don’t try to defend him, Hermione! He’s a murderer of his own master…”
“Well he is old, you know…I’m sure he regrets it now…”
“He made sure that Sirius got snuffed! How can you-”
“Alright!” shouted Harry over the bickering pair. “That’s enough!”
Ron and Hermione stopped and looked at Harry with surprise.
“It’s done already,” stated Harry, somewhat calmly. He glanced at his friends with a grave expression. “Look, I know he’s… n-not coming back. It-it still hurts a lot to accept that. And…well that wound me up a bit…”
“And considering that Malfoy had the nerve…”
“I know, Ron,” answered Harry feebly. He swallowed hard before continuing. “I-well it’s just hard to take in. I don’t want to lose anyone else that’s close to me…even though there’s always the risk…”
“Mate, we’re always here if you need us,” assured Ron confidently. “We’re on your side no matter what.”
“Oh Harry!”
Hermione flung her arms around Harry.
“Ron’s right…we’re always going to be here for you. There’s always going to be a risk at war. But we’re not going to give up. We’re going do what it takes to help you. It was you who told us to keep on fighting! And don’t even bother with Malfoy! Just focus on what you have to do…okay?”
Squeezing Hermione back, Harry grinned faintly and nodded. Hermione was right. Perhaps he wasn’t really alone after all. He did have people to help fight with him and he was trying to push them away. And he knew he couldn’t give up so easily. Maybe Draco didn’t matter after all. Maybe he really did just have to open up to Ron and Hermione to lift the heavy burden that’s been suffocating him for so long…
“Thanks…to the both of you. Really, I don’t know what I’d do without you two.”
“Harry, why don’t I fix those for you?” Hermione pointed her wand at Harry’s glasses. “Reparo!” They were instantly mended.
Ron beamed as he massaged his rumbling stomach. “Shall we make our way to the Great Hall then?”
“Lead the way…”
As the trio made their way down the aisle toward the Gryffindor table, Harry felt a strange tingling against his neck. Rubbing at the spot where his former hickey would have been, he dared himself to turn around as he sat down for dinner. Bright green eyes immediately attracted subtle, gray ones. Sure enough, staring right back him from the Slytherin table was no other than Draco Malfoy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Draco quietly walked through the corridor of the dungeons with his wand alit. For one thing, he still couldn’t figure out how he landed himself in detention. Then again, he was pretty damn sure that Snape knew exactly what was going on. After all, hadn’t Snape assisted him?
Surely he has to understand. He’s been doing it for years…I’ve only started in the summer. But Snape has never had to struggle… he’s been doing it alone. Does he realize what it’s like to…hurt someone…that you admire? That…you want to save?
Silence filled the corridor despite Draco’s loud footsteps. He continued his way just before stopping at the closed door of the Potions classroom. He knocked.
“Enter,” drawled the silky voice.
Draco knew all too well that it would be a while before detention would start. But he needs someone to talk to. He needs advice. And he needs it…now.
Hearing the click of the door, he pushed it open to find Snape at his desk, which was littered with parchment. The Potions master was in the middle of correcting essays when he looked up. Draco timidly smiled.
“Draco, you are a bit early,” Snape pointed out, setting his quill down. “What brings you here at this time?”
“Sir…Professor Snape…I seem to be having some…problems.”
Snape raised an eyebrow and observed Draco curiously. Draco ran a trembling hand through his hair and shuffled closer to Snape’s desk.
“I-I don’t know if I can do this much longer-”
“Draco,” interrupted Snape placidly as his eyes scanned the blond, “do I need to remind you the terms in which you accepted this task?”
“N-no sir…I just-”
“Then there should be nothing to worry about as long as you continue to do what you have been told...”
Snape rose from his chair, fixing his black eyes onto Draco. Draco chose to look down at the ground. He was unsure if Snape was going to take what he said correctly…
“You do realize that you are now obligated to what you agreed to complete?” asked Snape stiffly.
“Y-yes…but-”
“You are the one that has chosen to not only to help the Death Eaters, but the Order of Phoenix as well. Clearly you understand how risky this business is? It is far too late to withdraw-”
“But sir, “ disputed Draco desperately, “you’ve been a spy for years. With Occlumency and Legilimency, surely-”
“This is not about me!” seethed Snape. “This is about you, Draco! Yes the Dark Lord does not know about my intentions but neither does Dumbledore. I have maintained this for quite some time. You, however, determine what will result from this war…”
“But you do too!” argued Draco. “ You’re practically doing the same thi-”
“Silence!” shouted Snape angrily. “Draco, your task is the most dangerous of all! We’ve been over this multiple times. You need to realize that this is a life and death situation…each side is depending on your actions alone.”
“B-but s-sir…he knows t-that…I tried to s-save P-Potter…”
“Precisely. But you have said yourself…what would people think if they saw the boy dead within Hogwarts? Surely Dumbledore wouldn’t be able to keep the school running…”
“What if the D-dark Lord knows about the promise?” inquired Draco nervously. “What if he knows what I’m really trying to do…that I’m in the Order as well?”
“You’ve already mentioned this,” responded Snape impatiently. “Think, boy, think! Occlumency! I daresay that Aunt Bellatrix has given you some lessons? It is vital to keep using it whenever necessary, do you understand me?”
Draco nodded, waiting for Snape to continue.
“The Dark Lord cannot break into your thoughts if he is planning his next move. At such a distance, it is impossible-”
“But what about Potter? He can be possessed by him-”
“From what I understand, there are only certain circumstances in which that can happen. What happened in the Department of Mysteries surely proved that Potter could not be internally possessed if it took mere seconds for the Dark Lord to flee yet again…”
“But Dumbledore said he can possess through dreams and-”
“Draco,” said Snape calmly, “do you remember why we perform the Cursed Promise in the first place?”
Draco chewed at his lip and nodded. It took him a moment before he spoke.
“Because…of…I-I wanted to…”
“C’mon now. You perfectly know why…”
“I-I-because I wanted to do it for Potter!”
Snape glanced down at the blond. His lips curled into a smirk.
“And do you understand why you cannot back out now? Do you know what the consequences are should you fail to keep up with your task?”
“We’ll all die,” croaked Draco. “T-that includes you, Potter, and I.”
“Exactly,” replied Snape. “It is up to you to stay silent. Should you say anything to anyone and the whole Wizarding World should never have existed. And I am not trying to save myself. This is to spare you…and Potter.”
“Professor…”
“Draco, you know almost as much as I do at this very moment. But can you not see what will happen if you break this promise? Not only will important information be gone should we die, but this would have proved to be pointless should Potter die as well. This promise has been made for you to keep. Don’t have me repeat this again…but Potter’s life depends on you.”
Draco opened his mouth but closed it. It wasn’t until this moment that Draco realized exactly how important this was. If Draco failed, he had failed Harry. If Draco kept all the secrets hidden, Harry would live to defeat Voldemort. Yet it was so difficult to bear that he cared so much about Harry but had the nerve to hurt him. No one said being a Secret Keeper was going to be like this. Rather than getting reassurance from Snape as he hoped, Draco felt worse than before.
Draco jumped as he heard footsteps descending the stairs to the dungeons corridor. Beads of sweat clung to his forehead. He eagerly waited for the Potions master to say more.
“You are in the debts of each other, Draco,” whispered Snape hurriedly. You and Potter alone. You both are the only ones that can truly change what lies in this promise…”
Suddenly, the door creaked open. Snape and Draco turned to find Harry standing there, white faced. A sliver of flesh colored string poked out of his robe pocket. His shaking hand clutched his wand. Draco could only stare at the raven-haired boy as he gawked back, horror-struck.
Oh shit. How much did he hear?
Title: Overcoming Darkness (Ch. 3)
Author: sugareey
Rating: this chapter is pg-13
Pairing: H/D
Summary: Harry Potter always dreams of darkness. He can't sleep. Voldemort's making things worse. But Draco is miraculously the one to help him. Draco reconsiders where his loyalties lie. Maybe both Harry and Draco will overcome darkness...together.
Disclaimers: props to J.K.R. as for manipulating her characters...you can thank me.
Warning: it's going to start off soft...but it'll get interesting before you know it..
A/N: this took me a while to get things right. i've put in some plot...with some minor spoiler hints from HBP...those i'm sure you can find yourself. however since i started this post OotP instead of post HBP...it's going to have to go somewhere...so bear with me. any mistakes...eh..i suppose you can blame me. =P cheers!
“Harry? Harry, are you all right?”
Harry was staring blankly into the fireplace of the Gryffindor common room when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned his head to find Ron and Hermione looking at him, utterly concerned.
“You’ve been so down lately,” commented Hermione softly. “Almost mute nowadays.”
“Look, mate,” said Ron sympathetically, “we know something’s up. We want you to tell us things. We want to help, you know. At least to cheer you up. It’s torture to see you like this.”
“It’s true, Harry,” insisted Hermione. “It’s like you never talk to us anymore.”
Harry tried to avoid eye contact. He busied himself by playing with the fringe of his chair, remaining silent. He couldn’t bring himself to admit the truth. He knew his friends were right: he wasn’t telling them much. But he couldn’t express his true feelings. About what really happened with Sirius. Or how he’s falling for Draco. Or is he?
It has to be a joke. Malfoy would never be serious about it. Being seen with me? Admitting that he’s queer?
No, Harry could never let his friends know what happened between him and Draco. Or let alone have them find out where his sexuality stands. After his horrendous relationship with Cho, Harry pretended that he wanted to keep his love life on the down low. It was a good excuse, especially with the war breaking out. Ron and Hermione always assumed that 6th year would the year that Harry would find someone. To help him cope with things. To be there for him. Not like they weren’t; they were his friends. But they couldn’t give the love that Harry needed.
Admitting that he was gay would be like 5th year all over again, when he overheard what Moody was saying at St. Mungo’s through the Extendable Ears. But it would be 10 times worse. Stepping out of the closet would make Harry even more of an outcast. He didn’t need that. Life was already hard just dealing with Voldemort.
Feeling sick to his stomach with so many thoughts swimming through his mind, he accidentally knocked his Potions and Transfiguration books and essays to the floor. Shaking, Harry attempted to pick them up but Ron beat him to it, putting them into Harry’s bag.
“Harry?” inquired Ron, worried. “You ought to get some rest. You look like a ghost! Let me help you…”
“Don’t worry about me, Ron,” Harry managed to say. “I’ll be fine, really. Probably just the lack of sleep between Occlumency, homework, and Quidditch.”
“Are you sure, mate?”
“Yeah…”
“Oh Harry! I’m hoping that you’re telling us the truth!” said Hermione anxiously. “You know that we’ll always be there for you, right? I mean, if anything bothers you…”
“We’re right behind you,” finished Ron supportively.
“I know,” replied Harry, swinging his bag over his shoulder.
“We care about you, Harry,” continued Hermione quietly. “We want you to be happy. But please, can you at least tell us how you’re doing every once in a while?”
“I will, Hermione. Really, I appreciate this a lot,” replied Harry tentatively. “Thanks…I’ll see you two tomorrow…”
“Umm…what’s that on your neck?”
Harry hastily pulled up his collar to cover the exposed hickey. He would definitely have to do something about that later.
“Nothing…it was just something from earlier…I’m off to bed. ‘Night.”
He made his way up to the boys’ dormitories, feeling the stares of his friends against his back. Dropping his bag near his bed, he quickly changed into pajamas and slipped into bed.
How can I actually lie to the people I’ve known so well? To the people I trust? This is a betrayal…to hide it all from them. But how can they accept someone like me? I’m a mess. I almost got them nearly killed in the Department of Mysteries. And for them to find out that I’m “fraternizing with the enemy” would be…
Sighing heavily, Harry drew the covers over his head and fell into a deep sleep that would surely be filled with nightmares once again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Laughter filled the Slytherin common room. A group of students were huddled near the fire, plotting another prank to pull onto the Hufflepuffs. Others were gossiping about the latest news regarding the progress of the war. Draco could only listen to the noise from his dormitory.
He was sitting on his trunk near his bed, poking his wand absently at the floor and making small char marks. Usually, he would be joining his fellow Slytherins to lead the scheming for mayhem or having a conversation about those he hated the most. Like Harry Potter.
Draco’s insides squirmed at the thought of Harry. He was still confused about what happened at the Astronomy Tower. He couldn’t be sure if he kissed Harry because he wanted to or just for the hell of it. Because Harry was just there.
But why Potter? Why him? It could have been another bloke…but I snogged him…again!
He banged his fist on the trunk, making it rattle. He glared at the wall opposite him.
Why can’t I just like girls? Things would be normal…there wouldn’t be so many secrets untold…
“Drakey-Poo?”
“Yes, Pansy?” Draco glanced up menacingly at the pug-faced girl, now standing in the doorway.
“I-I wanted to see how you are…you’re not in the common room with everyone else.”
“I know,” responded Draco coldly as he stood up and walked toward the window. “I’m just thinking…”
“Are you sure things are okay?” asked Pansy, concerned.
“I suppose,” Draco, shrugging his shoulders.
“C’mon, lighten up. We’ve got a really good plan that you have to hear!”
Draco raised an eyebrow at Pansy. “How good?”
“It’s probably the best prank we’ve come up with in ages! They’ll be clueless by the time we spring it upon them!”
Pansy’s eyes were dancing with determination and glee as she waited for Draco’s answer.
Draco looked out of the window at the grounds for a minute.
Why do I need Saint Potter? I don’t! Oh to hell with the stupid savior…
Walking towards the doorway to join Pansy, Draco gave her a satisfied expression.
“I guess I’ll have to find out myself, won’t I?”
They smiled at each other before retreating to the common room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Today will consist of brewing a very complicated concoction,” Snape told his N.E.W.T. Potions
class. “This will be very crucial to your upcoming exams at the end of the year, so I daresay that you will want to pay close attention.”
Students looked at each other curiously as they muttered under their breaths.
It was amazing to still be in the dungeons, as Harry was positive he had failed his O.W.L. But to his surprise and displeasure, the very stubborn Potions master, under Dumbledore’s orders, somehow took him into the class. Harry had managed to scrape an E, even though he needed an O to pass. Perhaps Dumbledore wanted Snape to keep an eye on Harry more than ever. Whatever the reason was, Harry now miraculously sat beside Ron, who also earned an E on his O.W.L. After all, looking into a career as Aurors meant suffering the consequences.
Hermione, on the other hand, dropped Potions to take lessons relevant to a career involving Arithmancy and Ancient Runes. She obviously got an O on her O.W.L, but insisted that N.E.W.T. Potions would be unnecessary for the job she wanted to pursue.
“Veritaserum,” Snape now spoke, “is a substance to seek out the truth. Be warned that its use is highly restricted. Only in certain occasions may it be used on a person to obtain important information.”
Harry pretended to read his textbook as he felt Snape’s glinting eyes rest upon him.
“Potter, are you listening?”
Harry drew his gaze from the book to look at Snape. “Yes, sir.”
“I daresay you should be…”
Harry was waiting for Snape to take points off from Gryffindor but Snape continued his lecture instead.
“Veritaserum should not be meddled with, as it is quite dangerous. One drop can make a person spill out everything. However, there are certain circumstances in which one may fight the effects of the substance. As a precaution, you ought to know that vulnerability tends to be highly useful when using Veritaserum. It weakens the mind…”
“Like the Imperius Curse,” thought Harry silently as he continued to flip through his book. “If you can fight it off…”
Snape waved his wand and instantly a set of instructions appeared on the blackboard.
“Yes, you will each be paired up to brew your own Veritaserum. Because this will take various classes to complete, leave your cauldrons out once you’ve followed the instructions. What you do today will be essential for the following classes to come.”
Everyone started to get up from their seats to form pairs. Harry and Ron grinned at each other as they reached for their potion ingredients but Snape’s icy voice made them freeze.
“Not so fast. It will be my honor to assign pairs that I’m sure you’ll be very compatible with.” Snape’s thin lips curled up brutally. “Weasley and Nott, Finnigan and Zabini, Macmillan with Parkinson…”
Harry knew exactly whom he would be paired up with as Snape continued to read from his list.
“Last but not least, Potter and Malfoy,” finished Snape, smiling curtly at Harry.
“That stupid, ugly…” started Ron.
“Don’t even think about it, Ron,” warned Harry. “If Snape hears you, he’ll dock off points for sure…maybe hand you a detention…”
“Blimey! That doesn’t make sense…” Ron scratched his head in thought. “Snape didn’t even take points off from you earlier for answering him…that must be a first…”
“Well be lucky he didn’t,” whispered Harry quickly as he gathered the rest of his ingredients. “Like that’s all we need.” Mentally though, Harry was thinking along the same lines.
Is Snape acting…neutral? Is that normal?
He felt his guts twisting nervously inside of him as he remembered who his partner was. Draco Malfoy. The name rang in Harry’s ears as he awkwardly set his stuff down onto the table. The blond was already getting to work, reading the potion instructions on the board intently. Harry could feel heat rising up his neck, aware of the proximity between them. He knew this was coming…Draco will probably have a good laugh at him. Harry was just a hopeless fool. He didn’t deserve anyone…
“Well, well, well. Looks like Potty’s here to join me.”
Harry’s eyes traveled up the usual sneering, pale face. He averted them from Draco, quickly focusing on organizing the necessary ingredients for their potion. A pang of emptiness and hurt stabbed his heart. Harry could feel the gray eyes fixed upon him, but he ignored it. It had been Draco who abandoned him on the Astronomy Tower, hadn’t it? He was the one who lead Harry on, making him feel like absolute shit. Harry had enough on his plate already. He was unsure if he could deal with the burden of loneliness that was sinking lower by the second into the pit of his stomach.
“Potter, start doing this half of the instructions here.”
Draco slipped a piece of parchment on the table toward Harry, his hand slightly trembling. Harry still couldn’t bear to look Draco in the eyes but stared down at the neat scrawl that listed his share of the day’s work. Perfect handwriting. If only things were perfect…
Without answering, Harry began to reach for a stash of Jobberknoll feathers. Draco did the same as well. Another horrible jolt ran through Harry as Draco’s hand brushed his own. Horrified, Harry ripped his hand away and furiously stuck the feathers in the cauldron in front of the pair.
He was being forced to work with the very person who pushed him away. Like he wasn’t needed anymore. Harry couldn’t help but question himself if he needed Draco. But then again, if it hadn’t been for Draco, Harry wouldn’t be here today. He would have been defeated, instantly giving Voldemort power once again to rule the Wizarding World. Is that what mattered? Was Harry’s sole purpose of life directed to kill Voldemort?
This very thought made Harry’s scar sear with agony. He clapped a hand to his forehead, white pain blinding him. He gripped the edge of the table, trying to keep his knees from buckling under him. He winced as his eyes began to sting. This was too much…especially now…
“Harry!”
Harry’s head shot up to look at the wide-eyed Slytherin, who was about to stir his portion of the potion. Draco watched as Snape peered into people’s cauldrons at the opposite end of the classroom. Turning back to look at Harry, he slowly put a quivering hand onto Harry’s arm.
“What’s wrong? It can’t possibly be happening now…”
“I-I…” began Harry before stopping suddenly.
The pain that had already traveled through his body by now was subsiding. Harry could feel Draco’s grip sending drafts of coolness all over him. It was like the feeling when Moody used the Disillusionment Charm on him before going to Grimmauld Place for the first time. Except Harry was still visible now. All the traces of suffering from a minute ago were wiped away. Harry met Draco’s gaze, clearly amazed with what just happened.
“I’m fine, thanks,” mumbled Harry, hastily chopping more ingredients to be thrown into the cauldron.
“Slow down,” said Draco softly as he grasped Harry’s wrist. “You’ll be cutting them the wrong size if you rush. Don’t want to cut your fingers off. Be patient…I’ll show you how it’s done…”
Before Harry had a chance to protest, Draco lifted Harry’s hand holding the knife and guided him in cutting even ingredient pieces. A warm feeling now rushed through Harry’s blood as he felt the milky skin on his own. Harry desperately tried to shake it off, but denial did him no good. He liked this attention He needs this attention.
He was thankful to hear Snape’s voice, giving him a chance to seize his hand back.
“You all should be done by now. Leave your cauldrons out for me to take care of. Clean up and class dismissed.”
Harry added the rest of his ingredients into the cauldron accordingly, leaving Draco to stir the concoction. He quickly cleaned up and grabbed his bag. He waited for Ron by the doorway, making sure he didn’t catch Draco’s eye. It was confusing how Draco’s usual coldness instantly turned into concern. Especially in Potions. It would have been odd if Snape and the rest of his classmates noticed. Thank goodness for Veritaserum, as it kept everyone occupied for the whole lesson.
Heaving a sigh of relief, Harry was glad to see Ron walking toward him to go to Charms. At the very last minute, Draco, Crabbe and Goyle cut right in front of Ron.
“Does it hurt to use some manners, Malfoy?” questioned Ron aggressively.
“I think you should mind your own, eh Weasel?” answered Malfoy, smirking. “Oh, but I’m not sure if your parents taught you any, living in such filth you call home…”
“You stupid, bloody f-”
“Ron, just leave it. Don’t even bother…” muttered Harry as he tried to push Ron through the doorway.
“What about you, Potter?”
Harry slowly turned around to stare at Draco.
“Yeah, that’s right. No manners either?” sneered Draco tauntingly. “You don’t even bother to say hello? I suppose you inherit that from that jerk of a father and a Mudblood for a mum. And maybe even from that blood traitor of a godfather if you’re lucky…pity that he died…”
Draco knew he crossed the line. The next thing he knew, Harry pounced onto him ferociously.
“Don’t even start…don’t you dare…” snarled Harry. His fingers sunk into Draco’s shoulders. He didn’t care that Draco was wincing. He wanted to hurt him so bad…after what they shared…after all he has been through…
The next moment, however, Harry felt himself hanging upside down in midair by his ankle. He luckily caught his robes from exposing some skin. Glancing next to him, Harry saw a shocked Draco looking back in the same position.
“That’s 100 points from Gryffindor…and unfortunately Slytherin,” announced Snape, face full of rage. “I don’t tolerate this type of behavior in my class, regardless of who you are!” His eyes narrowed at Draco.
The rest of the students were gawking at the scene, terrified.
“Well, what are you all staring at?” barked Snape nastily. “I said that class is dismissed once you are done! Clearly, no one is doing anything and there is no need to make matters worse…”
Everyone scrambled out of the doorway at once. Ron regretfully left last as Harry silently urged him to go.
Snape flicked his wand, dropping Harry and Draco onto the stone floor once the room was empty. He glared dangerously at both of them.
“I don’t want to see that ever again. Do you understand me?”
Harry and Draco nodded reluctantly.
“You both are to come down to this classroom at 8 o’clock tonight for detention. No, Potter,” assured Snape unpleasantly as if reading Harry’s mind, “This is only the beginning of it. You and Mr. Malfoy will be serving weekly detentions with me.”
“But sir!” protested Draco desperately. “Certainly you could make an adjustment on that! It was Potter’s fault here…he jumped on me first…”
“Draco, do not argue with me. You don’t want to make the consequences worse, now do you?” Snape’s voice slightly softened as he gave a small nod to Draco.
“No, sir.”
“8 o’clock tonight then. If you’re late,” Snape leered at Harry, “perhaps I’ll have to adjust the punishment to take away some opportunities of leisure…”
Harry dashed out of the classroom as soon as possible. His misery muddled up with boiling anger. He wanted to just run away from it all, to just forget about what happened…
“Potter!”
Harry didn’t bother to look back…he had to keep on going…the footsteps behind him were getting closer…
“H-harry, please. Harry…”
Harry was forced to halt as a hand clutched him hard on the shoulder. He spun around to find Draco catching his breath but nevertheless staring at him uneasily.
“I didn’t mean-”
“Leave me alone, Malfoy,” snapped Harry angrily. “You clearly knew what you wanted to say. I don’t know what you’re playing at-”
“Harry, I can explain-”
“So now you have the authority to call me by my first name, eh? No, you know what? I don’t know what the fuck you want from me-”
“Potter, stop-”
“You stop, Malfoy. You’ve always been the same bastard since the day we met. Just get hell out of my sight!”
Harry wrenched Draco’s reassuring hand off of him and ran down the corridor to Charms. He knew he was going to be late but he couldn’t care anymore. The tears began to spill down Harry’s face as he raced up the stairs, passing by some passerby Ravenclaws. Harry had no intention of going to class just yet. A stop at the bathroom was all he needed…he could collapse there…
As Harry shrugged his bag off and wiped his burning eyes with his sleeve he heard a very comforting yet familiar voice.
“Oh, hello Harry. Why are you crying?”
It was Moaning Myrtle, who was floating above the sinks and examining herself in the mirror.
“M-myrtle…” faltered Harry, determined to stop the tears, “N-n-no one understands me…t-they don’t know w-what’s g-going on…”
That did it. Harry broke down his defenses and let it all out. He let the tears trickle down endlessly while telling Myrtle everything. He told her everything he kept bottled up since June. Everything that no one else could ever know.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Harry! HARRY!”
Hermione and Ron ran down the marble staircase to catch up with Harry, who was moping across the entrance hall to the Great Hall. Harry turned to see his friends but quickly looked down, his messy black hair concealing his red, blotchy face.
They can’t see me like this…I have to go somewhere else…
“Harry, stop! Look at me!” said Hermione intolerantly. “Where were you at Charms today? You never skip class! Oh stop-” Hermione grabbed Harry’s arm, “You can’t keep running away from us! We want you to-oh!”
“Blimey, Harry! What happened?” asked Ron as he saw Harry’s face. “It didn’t have to do with earlier…”
Harry nodded weakly. He was aware of his swollen, bloodshot eyes and his shattered glasses. Maybe he wouldn’t exactly have to explain that he was crying and that he lost his temper in the bathroom, seeing how obvious that was.
“Let’s go in here…”
The trio made a detour to an empty classroom next to Firenze’s jungle of a room. Hermione closed the door and used her wand to lock it. She turned to face Harry.
“Harry, Ron told me about what happened with Malfoy. But I didn’t think it was this bad! I can’t believe you didn’t go to Madam Pomfrey!”
“It wasn’t that bad though!” argued Ron. “Malfoy didn’t even have a chance to take a swing at him before Snape took things in his own hands…”
“S-sirius,” rasped Harry.
“What?” queried Hermione, confused.
“Yeah, Malfoy was insulting me…about my parents. And then he had to rub it in that Sirius d-died…”
“That’s horrible! I wouldn’t think that-”
“It’s true…that stupid piece of hippogriff-” started Ron.
“Well, that’s Malfoy for you,” interrupted Harry with fury. “I reckon that Sirius’ death must have gotten around somehow. Maybe from some of those Death Eaters…they are ‘family friends’ to that loser of a father…”
“Harry, I’ve been trying to tell you all long! Malfoy’s definitely a Death Eater,” warned Ron apprehensively. “How else would he know all this stuff from the Department of Mysteries? I mean his dad’s locked up in Azkaban. Death Eaters wouldn’t tell him crap unless he was still with them…”
“Well, his mum is sisters with Bellatrix Lestrange, isn’t she?” asked Hermione, thinking hard. “So obviously she could have tipped them off-”
“And what about that ruddy, old house elf?” added Ron with realization. “I mean he actually tricked us all in thinking that Sirius was in the Department of Mysteries! The nutter…”
Hermione threw a dirty look at Ron. “You can’t exactly blame Kreacher for that though. I mean he was technically obligated to the Malfoys too…”
“Don’t try to defend him, Hermione! He’s a murderer of his own master…”
“Well he is old, you know…I’m sure he regrets it now…”
“He made sure that Sirius got snuffed! How can you-”
“Alright!” shouted Harry over the bickering pair. “That’s enough!”
Ron and Hermione stopped and looked at Harry with surprise.
“It’s done already,” stated Harry, somewhat calmly. He glanced at his friends with a grave expression. “Look, I know he’s… n-not coming back. It-it still hurts a lot to accept that. And…well that wound me up a bit…”
“And considering that Malfoy had the nerve…”
“I know, Ron,” answered Harry feebly. He swallowed hard before continuing. “I-well it’s just hard to take in. I don’t want to lose anyone else that’s close to me…even though there’s always the risk…”
“Mate, we’re always here if you need us,” assured Ron confidently. “We’re on your side no matter what.”
“Oh Harry!”
Hermione flung her arms around Harry.
“Ron’s right…we’re always going to be here for you. There’s always going to be a risk at war. But we’re not going to give up. We’re going do what it takes to help you. It was you who told us to keep on fighting! And don’t even bother with Malfoy! Just focus on what you have to do…okay?”
Squeezing Hermione back, Harry grinned faintly and nodded. Hermione was right. Perhaps he wasn’t really alone after all. He did have people to help fight with him and he was trying to push them away. And he knew he couldn’t give up so easily. Maybe Draco didn’t matter after all. Maybe he really did just have to open up to Ron and Hermione to lift the heavy burden that’s been suffocating him for so long…
“Thanks…to the both of you. Really, I don’t know what I’d do without you two.”
“Harry, why don’t I fix those for you?” Hermione pointed her wand at Harry’s glasses. “Reparo!” They were instantly mended.
Ron beamed as he massaged his rumbling stomach. “Shall we make our way to the Great Hall then?”
“Lead the way…”
As the trio made their way down the aisle toward the Gryffindor table, Harry felt a strange tingling against his neck. Rubbing at the spot where his former hickey would have been, he dared himself to turn around as he sat down for dinner. Bright green eyes immediately attracted subtle, gray ones. Sure enough, staring right back him from the Slytherin table was no other than Draco Malfoy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Draco quietly walked through the corridor of the dungeons with his wand alit. For one thing, he still couldn’t figure out how he landed himself in detention. Then again, he was pretty damn sure that Snape knew exactly what was going on. After all, hadn’t Snape assisted him?
Surely he has to understand. He’s been doing it for years…I’ve only started in the summer. But Snape has never had to struggle… he’s been doing it alone. Does he realize what it’s like to…hurt someone…that you admire? That…you want to save?
Silence filled the corridor despite Draco’s loud footsteps. He continued his way just before stopping at the closed door of the Potions classroom. He knocked.
“Enter,” drawled the silky voice.
Draco knew all too well that it would be a while before detention would start. But he needs someone to talk to. He needs advice. And he needs it…now.
Hearing the click of the door, he pushed it open to find Snape at his desk, which was littered with parchment. The Potions master was in the middle of correcting essays when he looked up. Draco timidly smiled.
“Draco, you are a bit early,” Snape pointed out, setting his quill down. “What brings you here at this time?”
“Sir…Professor Snape…I seem to be having some…problems.”
Snape raised an eyebrow and observed Draco curiously. Draco ran a trembling hand through his hair and shuffled closer to Snape’s desk.
“I-I don’t know if I can do this much longer-”
“Draco,” interrupted Snape placidly as his eyes scanned the blond, “do I need to remind you the terms in which you accepted this task?”
“N-no sir…I just-”
“Then there should be nothing to worry about as long as you continue to do what you have been told...”
Snape rose from his chair, fixing his black eyes onto Draco. Draco chose to look down at the ground. He was unsure if Snape was going to take what he said correctly…
“You do realize that you are now obligated to what you agreed to complete?” asked Snape stiffly.
“Y-yes…but-”
“You are the one that has chosen to not only to help the Death Eaters, but the Order of Phoenix as well. Clearly you understand how risky this business is? It is far too late to withdraw-”
“But sir, “ disputed Draco desperately, “you’ve been a spy for years. With Occlumency and Legilimency, surely-”
“This is not about me!” seethed Snape. “This is about you, Draco! Yes the Dark Lord does not know about my intentions but neither does Dumbledore. I have maintained this for quite some time. You, however, determine what will result from this war…”
“But you do too!” argued Draco. “ You’re practically doing the same thi-”
“Silence!” shouted Snape angrily. “Draco, your task is the most dangerous of all! We’ve been over this multiple times. You need to realize that this is a life and death situation…each side is depending on your actions alone.”
“B-but s-sir…he knows t-that…I tried to s-save P-Potter…”
“Precisely. But you have said yourself…what would people think if they saw the boy dead within Hogwarts? Surely Dumbledore wouldn’t be able to keep the school running…”
“What if the D-dark Lord knows about the promise?” inquired Draco nervously. “What if he knows what I’m really trying to do…that I’m in the Order as well?”
“You’ve already mentioned this,” responded Snape impatiently. “Think, boy, think! Occlumency! I daresay that Aunt Bellatrix has given you some lessons? It is vital to keep using it whenever necessary, do you understand me?”
Draco nodded, waiting for Snape to continue.
“The Dark Lord cannot break into your thoughts if he is planning his next move. At such a distance, it is impossible-”
“But what about Potter? He can be possessed by him-”
“From what I understand, there are only certain circumstances in which that can happen. What happened in the Department of Mysteries surely proved that Potter could not be internally possessed if it took mere seconds for the Dark Lord to flee yet again…”
“But Dumbledore said he can possess through dreams and-”
“Draco,” said Snape calmly, “do you remember why we perform the Cursed Promise in the first place?”
Draco chewed at his lip and nodded. It took him a moment before he spoke.
“Because…of…I-I wanted to…”
“C’mon now. You perfectly know why…”
“I-I-because I wanted to do it for Potter!”
Snape glanced down at the blond. His lips curled into a smirk.
“And do you understand why you cannot back out now? Do you know what the consequences are should you fail to keep up with your task?”
“We’ll all die,” croaked Draco. “T-that includes you, Potter, and I.”
“Exactly,” replied Snape. “It is up to you to stay silent. Should you say anything to anyone and the whole Wizarding World should never have existed. And I am not trying to save myself. This is to spare you…and Potter.”
“Professor…”
“Draco, you know almost as much as I do at this very moment. But can you not see what will happen if you break this promise? Not only will important information be gone should we die, but this would have proved to be pointless should Potter die as well. This promise has been made for you to keep. Don’t have me repeat this again…but Potter’s life depends on you.”
Draco opened his mouth but closed it. It wasn’t until this moment that Draco realized exactly how important this was. If Draco failed, he had failed Harry. If Draco kept all the secrets hidden, Harry would live to defeat Voldemort. Yet it was so difficult to bear that he cared so much about Harry but had the nerve to hurt him. No one said being a Secret Keeper was going to be like this. Rather than getting reassurance from Snape as he hoped, Draco felt worse than before.
Draco jumped as he heard footsteps descending the stairs to the dungeons corridor. Beads of sweat clung to his forehead. He eagerly waited for the Potions master to say more.
“You are in the debts of each other, Draco,” whispered Snape hurriedly. You and Potter alone. You both are the only ones that can truly change what lies in this promise…”
Suddenly, the door creaked open. Snape and Draco turned to find Harry standing there, white faced. A sliver of flesh colored string poked out of his robe pocket. His shaking hand clutched his wand. Draco could only stare at the raven-haired boy as he gawked back, horror-struck.
Oh shit. How much did he hear?