Attention Aspiring Male Authors! ( Allow me to illuminate with too much Firefly)
Attention, Aspiring Male Authors!
We need to talk.
It's not that I have anything against you on a one on one basis, first off. Seriously, you are free to write whatever kind of stuff you want...but as an aspiring writer myself, I have to be honest. I have made contact with quite a few writing groups, and done a lot of learning through the fine art of critiquing other people's stuff, and I feel we have run into an issue that needs addressing. Just, because I keep running into it, and it fills me with an ire I cannot contain.
Here goes.
Dear dudes; You know that story you're writing? The one about the ordinary schlub who might be an incapable wizard or a virgin weirdo or an unimportant techie or some other example of benign beta maledom? Yeah. Him. Or, more specifically, the lady he's co-starring with. The beautiful, super-powered kick-ass lady, who is all manner of skilled and yet is also infantile in her intellect, and, of course, wholly dependent and bound to this generally clueless shmuck because the plot has labored ever so hard to make it so? Yeah, that "character". She and her male co-lead and their story appears to be the trope du jour for every third dorky Aspiring Male Author (henceforth known as the AMA) and there is a harsh truth about this arrangement I feel you need to e appraised of:
It's creepy.
And tiresome.
And vomit-inducing.
AND CREEPY.
If I have to sit through another one of these wank-fests where a physically or magically powerful female is the subservient lapdog of some dork-- who usually finds her a little bit annoying, because her hotness is all neeeedy because she just doesn't get how those wacky humans work, and therefore relies on this guy to navigate the world, not only because it's unfamiliar, but because she has the mental acuity of most gophers-- I will probably kill someone. Probably you, AMA, and it will not be done with kindness.
Now, I'm sure you're saying 'Well, she doesn't mean MY fine literature, with the Alien High Priestess who is Mistress of the Tagwu Touch trailing after the lowly computer tech because the triple moons of Zed aligned and proclaimed them Zephrumi' and you know what? Yes. Yes I do. You're exactly who I mean.
'But, it's not creepy" you say "She needs him because PLOT, and look, she's clearly a strong feminist character, she can totally beat my main character up if she wanted."
Yes, I mean your creepy story. Just because she can beat someone up does not make her a feminist character. In fact, it is the complete opposite and displays thinking that is part of the problem with our society. Feminism has nothing to do with whether someone is physically superior. A feminist character has agency in her own story, and this trope- if it has a name, I can't seem to find it- robs the female character of anything approaching capability.
Look, I get it. You are not an alpha dude. And, you know what? I like that. I like that you are not an aggressive douchebag who reeks snake-oil charm. Oddly enough, I'm not into that. In fact, if you look at who girls fan, few of them are. I don't want to be reading about 007 style smugness, because it does zero for me. That's a male power fantasy. A lot of women really like Loki or Dean Winchester or Nightcrawler. Ruminate.
I'm not a confident broad myself, so I get it. I understand insecurity and writing what you know. While I would never say insecurity is a turn on, so many of us suffer from it, and I think the literary opportunities that exist about overcoming it are under-explored. However. I have a problem when you write your personal fantasy of womanhood as the gorgeous, uber-powerful princess, and the average fellow she's attached to... and, rather than find a reason for this unlikely couple to be together,- like a lot of female-aimed YA which gets trash talked- you instead can't find virtue in your beta avatar, so you make her incredibly stupid or dependent to be with him, because, apparently, WHY ELSE WOULD SHE? She wouldn't. She can kick the shit out of people he can't, she 's gorgeous enough to manipulate people, and she might even be strategically clever- and then suddenly stupid or unaware.
Lets go over and look and Firefly, shall we? Lets look and Zoe and Wash:
Wash is not a big alpha dude like Mal. In fact, he has a whole episode about how his generally more mellow characteristics bother him and make him feel inadequate when compared to the swashbuckling Mal. Yet, he is married the amazingly kick-ass woman, and Zoe does NOT want Mal. Zoe and Wash are very different people, and though Wash can't always see it, the gentler aspects of Wash balance out Zoe's more astringent ones, just as Zoe's headstrong personality balances his more amicable one. Not all is smooth sailing, but their relationship is one of the strongest on Serenity. It works, and it works because of who Wash is and who he isn't.
More importantly, they are both people. Neither one of them needs to be robbed of their person-hood for their coupling to work. Neither one of them needs to be hampered in order to account for their association, as you, O AMA, are doing to the female lead in your book. You have diminished her to a pair of breasts, kick-ass powers, and maybe some snark. You, AMA, want total control over this hot Puppet Lady, but she can't just be any woman; she must be one that will give you status among other males, which means she has to be an amazing, powerful, beautiful and COMPLETELY FAKE AND UNREALISTIC version of woman. In fact, her worth to you seems to not be her and her personality, but in the perceived value of her by other men. And you've written a story where this becomes narratively possible, where the b-grade schlub with no immediately positive attributes just gets the hot, powerful chick because PLOT. You have revoked her status as person, and turned her into a fetish item. Her personhood and identity do not matter, except in how she is reflecting upon you.
You are Jayne with Vera. You know this, right? She might as well be a gun with a girly name. And a vagina. And breasts. Can't forget those important bits.
Let's be clear, this is not some version of the Fish out of Water trope, yeah? For example, Jane and Tarzan. When Jane runs into Tarzan he's all ape-man. However, she educates and gives him the tools, and he, in turn, grows into his own, intelligent being using those tools. Jane helps him become who he will be, but he is not beholden to her for having received aide from her. There is no such growth with the stories I'm seeing. These Lady Puppets are not enroute to enrichment, and they seem to live indebted to their men.
Worse still, is that most of these superpowered Lady Puppets are not only painfully naive, but often they're fully formed at a young age- newly commissioned robots, dragons who might be inhabiting fully mature female bodies (etc. etc.) but, despite having full ownership of tits, are only four years old. So, it's an underage, sexually inexperienced character who the main male character is usually taking some role in raising and has some chattel like claim over her. Does this remind anyone of the middle ages when they married ladies off at 14 or whatever so their spouses could finish raising them in the style they wanted their wives to behave? Yeah. Me too.
I guess if I felt the men who wrote these understood why they were objectionable, it wouldn't bother me so much, except the number of guys I've encountered who want me to edit this trope seem completely surprised someone might find it objectionable. Like, they are flummoxed why this is an angry issue. Why it makes me sad to read about neutered female characters under the hand of some dorkwad the author of which is calling feminist. Ostensibly, it's a partnership, but to dig among the underpinnings of the story finds that that there is a distinct lack of equality built into the foundation of the relationship. It's just the Schlub and his ridiculously hot appendage, who really has no other choice but to love him.
It's not like he's raised her to do anything else.
What you have done, AMA, is written the male-version of stereotypical romance novel douche-hat that you so hate because he's SO unrealistic. And yet, while largely the women who I encounter are fully aware that any one of Johanna Lindsey's heros is completely unrealistic, I don't encounter the same candor among the men. These Aspiring Male Authors have no idea they are writing a fetishized pipe dream. To them, these women are plausible feminist beings who they feel a measure of fondness for which transcends our author/god affection for that which we create, and moves into some weird If-Only-I-Could-Pygmalion-Her-Then-She-Would-Be-Mine! territory.
I bring the Romance Novel Douchehat into this because while he inhabits some egregious stereotypes, not to mention severe rape undertones, he is, in all his douchetastic glory, his own person. He has a history, a cliched tragic A WOMAN DUN WRONGED ME history, often, and he also has a future, which probably means he needs to marry an heiress for cash. He behaves in stalkery ways, issues ultimatums, and is often a dick, but he is a character with a past, choices and wants. He may be domineering to his heroine in full patriarchal rightness, but she often gets to subvert him, or otherwise pull one over on him.
By contrast, these shallow facsimiles of women don't even have that much. They spring fully formed to be raised by their prospective love interests, and have no futures except those glimpsed through the specific allowances of the beta-male raising them. They have no previous experience with men, so there is no need for the guy to raise to any level except what he's willing to exert, and their super human abilities do little to enhance their own characters and growth, but serve to reflect positively on the male. In short, they are not characters, but collections of Achievements cloaked by breasts. Again, a fetish item.
This is a bad thing.
Why, you say? The Romance Novel Douchehat is some cliched handsome, (sometimes) rich guy with a tragic past, why aren't you getting all butthurt about him?
Because. You know what's missing from the female version of this story? Entitlement. The woman you're writing isn't very much more than her breasts, and you've stapled them to your schlub hero, because, well, you wouldn't want to have your reader proxy exhibit any effort into making himself desirable so the woman could CHOOSE him. Choice has been removed from this equation entirely, and not just her right to choose, because if she recognized she had a right to choose but couldn't, we'd be exposing just how much a slave she is. No, instead, your Lady Puppet has had her awareness she is allowed to choose excised from her as well. It's the only way to make this work, with your beta hero exhibiting 0 effort. Make her less of a human, because doesn't your Nice Guy deserve to have a hot girl? Men just DESERVE hot women falling all over them. At least the romance novels give their proxies positive attributes to account for the romance happening.
And, guys? Besides all the unknowing slurs against women, way to trash yourselves. I guess if you don't respect yourselves I can hardly expect you to respect the alien female-shaped people you want to put your penises into. After all, a woman is scary until you've narrowed her down to the barest minimum. And if she's not a real, fully developed human being with choices and agency, you don't need to be nervous about putting your penis inside her and not having it be the best penis.
And that's why it's creepy. You can't deal with women until you've diminished them to empty headed pedophilic toys, yet, you really want to stick your cocks in them. But, heaven forbid they expect you to give a shit about the vessel holding the cock. Heaven forbid they be able to function and make choices. Heaven forbid they take all that power you imbue them with and use it.
So. Take a good long look at that little tale about the powerful chick and the beta guy, and then I want you to ask yourself some hard, hard questions.
We need to talk.
It's not that I have anything against you on a one on one basis, first off. Seriously, you are free to write whatever kind of stuff you want...but as an aspiring writer myself, I have to be honest. I have made contact with quite a few writing groups, and done a lot of learning through the fine art of critiquing other people's stuff, and I feel we have run into an issue that needs addressing. Just, because I keep running into it, and it fills me with an ire I cannot contain.
Here goes.
Dear dudes; You know that story you're writing? The one about the ordinary schlub who might be an incapable wizard or a virgin weirdo or an unimportant techie or some other example of benign beta maledom? Yeah. Him. Or, more specifically, the lady he's co-starring with. The beautiful, super-powered kick-ass lady, who is all manner of skilled and yet is also infantile in her intellect, and, of course, wholly dependent and bound to this generally clueless shmuck because the plot has labored ever so hard to make it so? Yeah, that "character". She and her male co-lead and their story appears to be the trope du jour for every third dorky Aspiring Male Author (henceforth known as the AMA) and there is a harsh truth about this arrangement I feel you need to e appraised of:
It's creepy.
And tiresome.
And vomit-inducing.
AND CREEPY.
If I have to sit through another one of these wank-fests where a physically or magically powerful female is the subservient lapdog of some dork-- who usually finds her a little bit annoying, because her hotness is all neeeedy because she just doesn't get how those wacky humans work, and therefore relies on this guy to navigate the world, not only because it's unfamiliar, but because she has the mental acuity of most gophers-- I will probably kill someone. Probably you, AMA, and it will not be done with kindness.
Now, I'm sure you're saying 'Well, she doesn't mean MY fine literature, with the Alien High Priestess who is Mistress of the Tagwu Touch trailing after the lowly computer tech because the triple moons of Zed aligned and proclaimed them Zephrumi' and you know what? Yes. Yes I do. You're exactly who I mean.
'But, it's not creepy" you say "She needs him because PLOT, and look, she's clearly a strong feminist character, she can totally beat my main character up if she wanted."
Yes, I mean your creepy story. Just because she can beat someone up does not make her a feminist character. In fact, it is the complete opposite and displays thinking that is part of the problem with our society. Feminism has nothing to do with whether someone is physically superior. A feminist character has agency in her own story, and this trope- if it has a name, I can't seem to find it- robs the female character of anything approaching capability.
Look, I get it. You are not an alpha dude. And, you know what? I like that. I like that you are not an aggressive douchebag who reeks snake-oil charm. Oddly enough, I'm not into that. In fact, if you look at who girls fan, few of them are. I don't want to be reading about 007 style smugness, because it does zero for me. That's a male power fantasy. A lot of women really like Loki or Dean Winchester or Nightcrawler. Ruminate.
I'm not a confident broad myself, so I get it. I understand insecurity and writing what you know. While I would never say insecurity is a turn on, so many of us suffer from it, and I think the literary opportunities that exist about overcoming it are under-explored. However. I have a problem when you write your personal fantasy of womanhood as the gorgeous, uber-powerful princess, and the average fellow she's attached to... and, rather than find a reason for this unlikely couple to be together,- like a lot of female-aimed YA which gets trash talked- you instead can't find virtue in your beta avatar, so you make her incredibly stupid or dependent to be with him, because, apparently, WHY ELSE WOULD SHE? She wouldn't. She can kick the shit out of people he can't, she 's gorgeous enough to manipulate people, and she might even be strategically clever- and then suddenly stupid or unaware.
Lets go over and look and Firefly, shall we? Lets look and Zoe and Wash:
Wash is not a big alpha dude like Mal. In fact, he has a whole episode about how his generally more mellow characteristics bother him and make him feel inadequate when compared to the swashbuckling Mal. Yet, he is married the amazingly kick-ass woman, and Zoe does NOT want Mal. Zoe and Wash are very different people, and though Wash can't always see it, the gentler aspects of Wash balance out Zoe's more astringent ones, just as Zoe's headstrong personality balances his more amicable one. Not all is smooth sailing, but their relationship is one of the strongest on Serenity. It works, and it works because of who Wash is and who he isn't.
More importantly, they are both people. Neither one of them needs to be robbed of their person-hood for their coupling to work. Neither one of them needs to be hampered in order to account for their association, as you, O AMA, are doing to the female lead in your book. You have diminished her to a pair of breasts, kick-ass powers, and maybe some snark. You, AMA, want total control over this hot Puppet Lady, but she can't just be any woman; she must be one that will give you status among other males, which means she has to be an amazing, powerful, beautiful and COMPLETELY FAKE AND UNREALISTIC version of woman. In fact, her worth to you seems to not be her and her personality, but in the perceived value of her by other men. And you've written a story where this becomes narratively possible, where the b-grade schlub with no immediately positive attributes just gets the hot, powerful chick because PLOT. You have revoked her status as person, and turned her into a fetish item. Her personhood and identity do not matter, except in how she is reflecting upon you.
You are Jayne with Vera. You know this, right? She might as well be a gun with a girly name. And a vagina. And breasts. Can't forget those important bits.
Let's be clear, this is not some version of the Fish out of Water trope, yeah? For example, Jane and Tarzan. When Jane runs into Tarzan he's all ape-man. However, she educates and gives him the tools, and he, in turn, grows into his own, intelligent being using those tools. Jane helps him become who he will be, but he is not beholden to her for having received aide from her. There is no such growth with the stories I'm seeing. These Lady Puppets are not enroute to enrichment, and they seem to live indebted to their men.
Worse still, is that most of these superpowered Lady Puppets are not only painfully naive, but often they're fully formed at a young age- newly commissioned robots, dragons who might be inhabiting fully mature female bodies (etc. etc.) but, despite having full ownership of tits, are only four years old. So, it's an underage, sexually inexperienced character who the main male character is usually taking some role in raising and has some chattel like claim over her. Does this remind anyone of the middle ages when they married ladies off at 14 or whatever so their spouses could finish raising them in the style they wanted their wives to behave? Yeah. Me too.
I guess if I felt the men who wrote these understood why they were objectionable, it wouldn't bother me so much, except the number of guys I've encountered who want me to edit this trope seem completely surprised someone might find it objectionable. Like, they are flummoxed why this is an angry issue. Why it makes me sad to read about neutered female characters under the hand of some dorkwad the author of which is calling feminist. Ostensibly, it's a partnership, but to dig among the underpinnings of the story finds that that there is a distinct lack of equality built into the foundation of the relationship. It's just the Schlub and his ridiculously hot appendage, who really has no other choice but to love him.
It's not like he's raised her to do anything else.
What you have done, AMA, is written the male-version of stereotypical romance novel douche-hat that you so hate because he's SO unrealistic. And yet, while largely the women who I encounter are fully aware that any one of Johanna Lindsey's heros is completely unrealistic, I don't encounter the same candor among the men. These Aspiring Male Authors have no idea they are writing a fetishized pipe dream. To them, these women are plausible feminist beings who they feel a measure of fondness for which transcends our author/god affection for that which we create, and moves into some weird If-Only-I-Could-Pygmalion-Her-Then-She-Would-Be-Mine! territory.
I bring the Romance Novel Douchehat into this because while he inhabits some egregious stereotypes, not to mention severe rape undertones, he is, in all his douchetastic glory, his own person. He has a history, a cliched tragic A WOMAN DUN WRONGED ME history, often, and he also has a future, which probably means he needs to marry an heiress for cash. He behaves in stalkery ways, issues ultimatums, and is often a dick, but he is a character with a past, choices and wants. He may be domineering to his heroine in full patriarchal rightness, but she often gets to subvert him, or otherwise pull one over on him.
By contrast, these shallow facsimiles of women don't even have that much. They spring fully formed to be raised by their prospective love interests, and have no futures except those glimpsed through the specific allowances of the beta-male raising them. They have no previous experience with men, so there is no need for the guy to raise to any level except what he's willing to exert, and their super human abilities do little to enhance their own characters and growth, but serve to reflect positively on the male. In short, they are not characters, but collections of Achievements cloaked by breasts. Again, a fetish item.
This is a bad thing.
Why, you say? The Romance Novel Douchehat is some cliched handsome, (sometimes) rich guy with a tragic past, why aren't you getting all butthurt about him?
Because. You know what's missing from the female version of this story? Entitlement. The woman you're writing isn't very much more than her breasts, and you've stapled them to your schlub hero, because, well, you wouldn't want to have your reader proxy exhibit any effort into making himself desirable so the woman could CHOOSE him. Choice has been removed from this equation entirely, and not just her right to choose, because if she recognized she had a right to choose but couldn't, we'd be exposing just how much a slave she is. No, instead, your Lady Puppet has had her awareness she is allowed to choose excised from her as well. It's the only way to make this work, with your beta hero exhibiting 0 effort. Make her less of a human, because doesn't your Nice Guy deserve to have a hot girl? Men just DESERVE hot women falling all over them. At least the romance novels give their proxies positive attributes to account for the romance happening.
And, guys? Besides all the unknowing slurs against women, way to trash yourselves. I guess if you don't respect yourselves I can hardly expect you to respect the alien female-shaped people you want to put your penises into. After all, a woman is scary until you've narrowed her down to the barest minimum. And if she's not a real, fully developed human being with choices and agency, you don't need to be nervous about putting your penis inside her and not having it be the best penis.
And that's why it's creepy. You can't deal with women until you've diminished them to empty headed pedophilic toys, yet, you really want to stick your cocks in them. But, heaven forbid they expect you to give a shit about the vessel holding the cock. Heaven forbid they be able to function and make choices. Heaven forbid they take all that power you imbue them with and use it.
So. Take a good long look at that little tale about the powerful chick and the beta guy, and then I want you to ask yourself some hard, hard questions.