For you to get any joy out of this post, it is best that you understand that I am a cruel and reprehensible person.
And this is the first occasion I have abused a pet in this manner.
Please meet Shallot, my stepbrother's dog.
She's a Chinese Crested. A very hairy Chinese crested, with, you might note, two different colored eyes. My Step brother got her at a knockdown price from a breeder who called her Shame-Shame and kept her in a crate all the time.
Fantastic people, huh? Like any of us can help out fucking genetics.
SO.
As per Step-brother's delight for Halloween:
ALSO. THE PINK HAND OF DARKNESS.