Don't hold your breath if you're not underwater
You might not recognize me at first if you saw me. Bleached out hair, I-just-came-back-from-Hawaii tan, sign of actual muscles. I am a whole new person, and it's been three days of the two and a half week "camp" I must get through.
Don't get me wrong. I don't love ensemble any less now, than I ever did. But it's so hard to keep going sometimes, most often when I realize that no one but the team will ever really appreciate our efforts, all the sweat and heart we pour into a single show. I'm doing this for me, for the team. But sometimes I just want to take people to band camp, the ones who think we're "just dancers", and show them what it's like. Why you can love something that hurts you.
In a way, I'm disappointed with myself thus far. I forget parts of the work, I wimp out during the running, I'm in the wrong place during the drill, I can't march and spin. It's not flawless yet, and I hate it, hate it, hate it.
We had a sectional in the rain today. I know in a few months I'll be complaining that it's cold, and whatever, but I am so sick of my sunburn, squinting in the bright light, sweat cystalizing on my face, feeling like I'm melting, matches scorching my skin.
Don't get me wrong. I don't love ensemble any less now, than I ever did. But it's so hard to keep going sometimes, most often when I realize that no one but the team will ever really appreciate our efforts, all the sweat and heart we pour into a single show. I'm doing this for me, for the team. But sometimes I just want to take people to band camp, the ones who think we're "just dancers", and show them what it's like. Why you can love something that hurts you.
In a way, I'm disappointed with myself thus far. I forget parts of the work, I wimp out during the running, I'm in the wrong place during the drill, I can't march and spin. It's not flawless yet, and I hate it, hate it, hate it.
We had a sectional in the rain today. I know in a few months I'll be complaining that it's cold, and whatever, but I am so sick of my sunburn, squinting in the bright light, sweat cystalizing on my face, feeling like I'm melting, matches scorching my skin.